HeartBreak
by KupKakes09
Summary: This is Sam and Emily's story from beginning to end.The first kiss, first fight, first everything, drama, and lemons. first few chapters will be under slight construction as I go back and fix the spacing!
1. Chapter 1

Hey guys, This is my first Twilight fan fic so please be nice!! Also, I'm looking for some ideas of what to happen in this story. Sam and Emily are easily two of my favorites so I decided to write their story from the beginning. Please review even if its bad.. Im open to all suggestions! The first chapter was tough to decide how to write but I promise itll get better

I'm also going back and fixing the spacing in every chapter, so bear with me!

Disclaimer-I don't own twilight or any characters

Chapter one-If Only

Emily Young smiled sympathetically at her cousin Leah Clearwater as they walked along the sand of First Beach. It was a cool, rainy, evening at the Quileute reservation where Emily was visiting from the Makah rez for the weekend. In some ways it was also a very tense, very unsure evening. We had walked down to the small gathering on the beach where some of Leah's friends were only to discover that Sam Uley, Leah's ex was there.

Only a week ago he ripped her heart out when he broke up with her for what seemed to be no good reason. _Poor Leah _I Thought to myself. We had only been here an hour and already I could tell she was uncomfortable and smiling and laughing fakily just to show everyone she was okay. Hopefully, she wouldn't crack under all the scrutinizing stares and questions and want to go back home. It was my first time to really get to hang out with the others in La Push.

We walked around until Leah came to a halt at a small fire that had several pieces of driftwood around it. She looked at me "you want to just sit down for a while?"

I nodded "sure its fine" I reached into the small beach bag I'd brought with me and pulled out a large beach towel and draped it over the log before I sat down which was met with a few snickers and smirks from the others.

She stood while she introduced me around the group before she sat down heavily next to me

and immediately jumped into the conversation with the others about strange tracks they'd been seeing in the woods.

I listened intently to them looking for some way to jump in. I sat there listening until I heard them mention the prints looking like bear tracks." Are you guys sure its ok to be out here if there's bears?" I wondered aloud, earning a few laughs.

Little Jacob Black smiled at me 'you're fine here."

I felt my cheeks grow warm knowing everyone thought for sure now I was dumb. I looked down towards the ocean side where another group of teenagers were hanging out away from ours. Leah followed my stare and waved over to them.

Leah leaned over towards me "Do you mind if I go over and say hey to some people from school real quick?"

Without waiting for an answer, she stood up and took off quickly. I stared after her for a minute before I realized why she left so fast. Sam had joined our little circle and was staring daggers at her.

Wondering if I should follow or not , I bit my lower lip and frowned slightly in the direction she'd went in. The younger guy that was with Sam gave him a grin as he flopped down in Leah's now empty spot. "So I hear your gonna come stay in the rez this summer after the last semester ends at your school?"

I blushed lightly at being addressed so fast by this guy I didn't even know. "Yeah maybe, if Sue and Harry are willing to put up with me for a couple of months".

The boy laughed "you mean if you can stand Leah that long " he rolled his eyes "she's such a bitch lately"

Sam elbowed him in the side and gave him a look, which surprised me.

The boy glanced sideways at Sam "Sorry" he mumbled.

An uneasy silence followed., I tried to think of something to say to ease some of the tension , but he beat me to it. "I'm Jared by the way" he held out a huge hand for me to shake.

"Emily. Emily Young. But obviously you already knew that".

Jared nodded :yeah I've heard Lee Lee talk about you before, I figured out who you were when I saw you guys show up together"

Saying that earned another glare from Sam. _Gee, I can't even make any friends here because of stupid Sam Uley _I thought to myself. The glare didn't seem to mean too much to Jared though as he started chattering next to me, only needing a few prompts and nods to keep him going. I finally started to relax a little and let my guard down as we talked about all the summer activities on the rez for the tourist .

The entire time I noticed Sam was staring at us. I glanced at him and met his eyes expecting him to look away but he didn't. _hmmm, he's definitely not bad looking_ I thought to myself _I should feel bad for even thinking that. _I couldn't help but move my eyes downwards at his chest noticing the way his shirt hung to him. He definitely had a great body. _I wonder how old he is, and why he keeps looking at me like that._ Jared frowned at me for a moment and I finally snapped out of it

"Oh I'm Sorry" I mumbled.

Jared reached over and brushed back a piece of hair that must have fallen out of my long braids I wore and two things happened: I flinched and Sam stood up scowling.

Jared just brushed it off and grinned at me, "So Emily right? You wanna walk over the cliffs with me/ it's got a great view"

I shook my head quickly, I had no intentions of going anywhere with him. I just met him for crying out loud.

"I think I should get going" I said quietly. I looked around for Leah at the group of kids that seemed to be getting smaller and smaller.

Sam spoke suddenly "She left about an hour ago" .

I started gathering my beach towel and jacket and few items I brought with me, I could feel Sam's eyes on me again.

As I turned back around he spoke directly to me "Do you want me to walk you back to Sue and Harry's place? It's late for you to be wandering the woods alone" I

froze for a moment before nodding, surprising myself "Yeah Harry would probably appreciate too" .

Jared smirked as Sam started walking towards a trail that led off into the woods a few paces ahead of me.

As I walked after him I waved bye to the others._ Some help he is _I thought to myself _who offers to walk with someone and then leaves them half way behind while their lugging all the junk? _

_Finally, once we were out of sight of everyone else, he paused and waited for me to catch up "Here" he mumbled as he took the beach bag out my hands._

"_Thanks" I replied back just as softly. _

_Sam just nodded and started walking again, not bothering to look where he stepped, where I was much slower, scared of snakes and things. The farther we went into the woods on the small path the darker it got it seemed. _

_I stopped for a moment to zip up my jacket and shivered. I tried to catch back up so he wouldn't notice I'd stopped and felt my foot hit something and gasped scared it really was a snake as I jerked back making myself fall. "Owww' I winced loudly. _

_In a flash Sam was at my side leaning down on the damp ground beside me "What happened?" he demanded as he helped drag me to my feet. _

"_I'm fine" I grimaced not wanting to admit my stupid thoughts about tripping over imaginary snakes. I snatched my arm away from him with a jerk._

_Sam sighed "You can let me help you up and walk you know". _

_I shook my head at him angry at him suddenly "The only person you need to pick back up is Leah!" _

_Like he'd been slapped he backed away. "You don't even know what happened, you don't know what you're talking about" ._

_I rolled my eyes at him "Let me guess..you did nothing wrong right?"_

'_I know that you hurt her so much she couldn't eat, sleep, or get out of bed, I finally got her to come out tonight and of course you had to be there to ruin it" I gave him what I hoped was a dirty look._

_Sam looked at me warily before he spoke "I didn't want to, I had to for her own good" _

_I shook my braids and laughed lightly "Well I can really tell you're leaving her did her wonders then" . _

_Sam shook his head and ran over the top of his short cropped jet black hair "you'll understand soon enough". _

_I took a few steps closer to him making him raise his arm to protect his self in case I hit him I guess, and snatched my bag from him. "I'll never understand how you live yourself after what you did". _

_I saw the pained look on his face and almost felt sorry for him. I glared at him "I can find my way back from here". With that I stalked off closer to the dim lights I could make out through the trees. _

"_Emily!" I heard him call out in that voice that made my knees want to melt out from under me. I kept walking ignoring him completely, knowing I definitely did not need another look him._

_If only I had known. If only I had given him the chance that night to explain._


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2- Secrets

The next morning I woke up groggily on the couch to hear the noise of Sue in the kitchen making breakfast for everyone. I sat up rubbing my eyes, thinking back on last night. I'd managed to make it in the house without Sue or Harry getting up to catch me. My mom would flip if they called and told her I'd been out late and snuck back in after everyone else was in bed.

I got up from the couch after laying there for a minutes remembering everything from the night before. Sam's face popped into my mind, making me feel even worse about the thoughts I'd had the night before. I slowly started moving around, getting a shower, and drying my hair, trying to savor my last hour of freedom away from home.

"Mornin" a voice sounded from behind my back as I was folding up my blankets making me jump.

Leah glided into the room actually looking better than she had in the past few days I'd been here. I felt guilty as I smiled at her knowing where my thoughts had just been.

Leah flopped down on the sofa "Sorry I left you like that, I just couldn't handle it anymore, sitting there with all the pity smiles while he acted like nothing happened" .

I sighed "It's fine Lee.. I just wish you would have stayed longer with me, I ended up sitting there with that Jared guy all night"

Leah laughed "He's a good kid, not bad looking, you should have gave him your number" she winked at me knowing I wouldn't have.

Dating was kind of a closed subject at my place. Dating, parties, going to friends, and basically anything I might enjoy.

She stretched out across the sofa and ran a hand through her dark hair. "Thanks for coming down" she spoke quietly to me pretending to pick lint off her purple shirt.

I started packing my clothes back into my overnight bag "You know I don't mind, I just wish it would have been for a happier reason"

Leah laughed sourly "You mean for that engagement announcement we both felt so sure of?" She shook her head " I still don't understand exactly what I did to him to deserve this" .

I kept my head down as I zipped my bag up, fiddling with it "Well, you can't tell, you guys still might get back together" _Why am I telling you this? I know you won't, but I hate seeing you like this, _I thought to myself.

Leah stood up grabbing one of my smaller bags as we heard a horn blare outside. My mom was here early of course, dying to get me back home.

"Just remember you can call anytime ok?" I hugged her with one arm as we walked out of the house.

My mom reached over and patted me on the knee as we went down the street headed back to the Makah reservation we lived on. "Cheer up sweetie, you look like you're never coming back or something" she smiled at me.

I forced a smile back at her "Actually, Aunt Sue invited me back up next weekend".

Mom shook her head "I really need you to stay home and help out with the rest of the quilt we're making for your cousin's new baby"

I nodded, knowing it was just an excuse to get me to stay home. We pulled up to a red light on the edge of town. I stared out the window at the garage on the right side of the street. I felt my stomach drop when I realized Sam was standing outside of it scribbling on a clipboard. At that exact moment I turned my head, he looked up in enough time to get a look at me before we drove off. I felt my cheeks burn slightly, At least I wouldn't see him again anytime soon.

A good while later we pulled up to our small two story house. I grabbed my stuff out of the trunk and trudged inside. It actually felt good to be home. It would be nice to sleep in a real bed again. Aunt Sue's couch was nowhere near comfortable, and I refused to sleep in Leah's bed. Not after she'd told me last summer about it. I almost cringed at the thought. I'd been shocked when Leah finally told me she'd actually gone all the way with Sam. It just wasn't something I would ever see myself doing before marriage and assumed the same for Leah.

We'd always been close when we were younger, we still had that bond only it seemed we held back certain things from each other. I knew I'd never share everything as completely with Leah as I once had. Nor did she with me. My shyness as we got older made me seem more of a prude to everyone else than Leah. I sighed as I sat down and looked at the picture of us that sat on my night stand. We were complete opposites of each other. Leah was bubbly and outspoken. I was shy and soft spoken. She was gorgeous, I was a plain Jane in my opinion. The only guys that asked me out were the type that took my shyness in the wrong way. Leah got guys like Sam. I couldn't help thinking of him for some reason. He kept entering my mind. I felt drawn to him. No matter how I felt about him though, I could never do that Leah. She was a sister to me.

I started unpacking putting things back where they went. I could never stand a mess for long. I threw the empty bag on the floor of the closet. I paused a moment looking down at the bright pink wrapping paper on the gift I'd got for my cousins shower in a couple weeks.

It was a good excuse to get Leah to come up and stay with me for a change I decided. My cousin was only a couple of years older than me, and already married and expecting a baby. We'd all thought Leah would be next, only for Sam to leave in the horrible way that he did. _Maybe I should make more of an effort when I'm down in La Push, It couldn't hurt anything that's for sure, I almost laughed at my own thoughts. I knew I'd never get the courage to be forward. I'd just sit back and let fate take it's toll on me. _


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3- Take a bow

I woke up with a start. I had a terrible dream. I dreamed that I was back at the Quileute reservation in La Push walking through the woods and this.. thing. Not a wolf exactly but not a bear either was following me through the woods. T he faster I ran the more he gained on me. His fur was black as the night sky and his eyes glittered in the moonlight. I was almost to my uncle's house, I was so close, when I fell. I had fallen and didn't get back up in time. The huge animal was standing over staring at me with his big, black, eyes. I held my hands out in front of my face crying. The animal stared before he suddenly changed into Sam Uley. Sam had been standing there now. He held his hand out saying my name softly.

That's when I woke up. Why in the world was I dreaming about **him?** He was nothing to me. I barely knew the guy, only knew what Leah had told me about him. I shook my head trying to settle back down in my cozy bed. It was snowing outside and freezing in my room. I refused to sleep with the wood burning heater on in my room for fear it would catch fire and spread while I slept. After a few minutes of lying there and not dozing back off I pushed back the comforter and got up, slipping into my house shoes. My long hair was loose, not braided or pulled back. I ran a hand through it absentmindly. I was looking out the window at the snow that blanketed my yard. Trying not to picture those muscles, dark skin, and perfect teeth that were in my dream.

I felt bad even picturing Sam. I felt unloyal to Leah. She would flip if she knew I dreamed about him at least once a week. I sighed as I walked away from the window and sat down in front of my vanity. I smiled what a name for a piece of furniture. I looked at my reflection in the mirror touching my smooth skin with my finger tips. I'd never really looked at myself like this before. I saw the girl staring back at me. She was beautiful. Crow black hair, dark, tan, flawless skin, and full lips. I shook my head. I still was nowhere as pretty as Leah was. She was gorgeous. I felt like a rag doll standing next to her.

I glanced at the small digital clock. It was barely four in the morning. Lucky school was already out for spring break. Some spring break. It was still snowing outside. I got up from the seat at the vanity and flipped the light on knowing I wouldn't be able to sleep. _Now what?_ I looked around me for something to clean or read to keep me busy.

I laid back down on the bed and turned my small tv on, flipping the through the channels I stopped on a horror movie called Underworld. I leaned back into the pillows watching the hideous monsters as my thoughts started to drift off. _I wonder what kind of movies Sam likes, probably martial arts_ I thought to myself _He seems like such a well.. guy guy.. The kind of guy that fixes up old cars and watches football and burps out loud. I shouldn't even be thinking about him, I don't know why I keep going back to his face that night, maybe because I feel bad for yelling at him now._ My head jerked up, I'd dozed off in my own thoughts. I rolled over onto my side and glanced at the clock again. 6:30.

I got up and shrugged on my robe and went downstairs to see if anyone else was up yet. As I walked through the kitchen I could hear my mom up and gushing on the phone with Aunt Sue, making sure they had everything ready for the shower today. I gave her a smile as I grabbed a muffin and leaned against the counter eating it.

My mom hung up the phone and turned to me. "Why didn't you tell me you met a nice boy in La Push last weekend?" she grabbed a dishcloth, trying to keep her hands busy.

I shrugged "I didn't really count him as more than an acquaintance" I pulled out a chair and sat down at the table._ I'm gonna kill you Leah, _I thought to myself glumly. _My mom probably thinks I'm going to visit so much just to meet up with Jared now. _

Mom glanced over her shoulder at me "It's fine Em, Aunt Sue says he's a nice boy, she said he kept calling Leah wanting your number and asking questions about you" she smiled brightly at me, as if that were supposed to make me jump up and down.

"Did she give it to him? I tried to force myself to sound excited for her sake.

Mom nodded "He said he was gonna call in a bit, Leah told him you had plans for later this afternoon so he might want to call early".

_Gee thanks Lee…give me to the wolves_. I got up leaned over the counter again, studying the decorations my mom had spread out for the shower this afternoon. "These are nice--"I got cut off by the ringing phone.

My mom excitedly grabbed it up and help out to me. I gave her a look as I paused, trying to decide if I really wanted to answer it or not.. She reached over and hit the talk button and pressed it to my ear.

"Hello?" I said glaring at her as I took the phone in my own hand and started walking upstairs.

"Hey, is this Emily?" a deep voice asked.

I looked at the phone a moment, I didn't know who it was, but I knew it wasn't Jared. "Uh…yeah…can I ask who this is/" I said carefully.

"If I tell you, you gotta promise you won't hang up first" the voice teased.

I ran through the faces of everyone I knew, trying to place who it was.

"You still there?" he asked.

I swallowed hard 'Yeah, I'm here..are you going to tell who this is or not?" I crossed my arms waiting.

"It's..Sam…Sam Uley" he replied.

I froze, staring at the phone in my hand like it was a rattlesnake. "What do you want?" I growled.

He laughed "Can't I call just to talk…I was just wondering when you were coming back down is all.."

I sighed "Why? "

"Maybe, I'd like to see you again" he said bluntly.

I shook my head even though he couldn't see me, "No. I'm sorry but no, and how did you even get this number anyways?"

Sam laughed, quieter than before" Jared called and got it, I got it from him" he explained it simply, like there was nothing wrong with that. "So, can we at least meet somewhere and talk, get to know each other a little better?"

I bristled, thinking on it for a minute. I knew in my heart it wasn't right to do this to Leah, "I guess so, but don't let anyone know.. Ok

Sam was ecstatic "Awesome! When can I pick you up?" he asked eagerly.

"Not today, everyone's kinda coming here for a baby shower for my cousin".

He sighed, disappointed " how about tomorrow then?"

I thought a moment going over how I could possibly get out of the house without my parents knowing who I was really going to hangout with. "Meet me at the Plaza Square, about noon tomorrow" I couldn't believe I was actually telling him that.

Sam breathed heavily into the phone "I guess I can wait another day then,"

I fought back the part of me that wanted to giggle and get that excited look on my face and said hurriedly" I gotta go.. I'll see you tomorrow" I hung up just in time.

My mom reached the top of the stairs then. "Well?" she asked eyeing me.

"Well what?" I asked back pretending to not know what she was expecting me say.

She followed me into my room "Well, what'd he say?" she prodded. I smiled in spite of myself

"He said to meet at Plaza Square tomorrow" I knew it was a lie, but technically she never asked who he was anyways,

********After the baby shower***

I looked up at the clock as I walked around the living room picking up leftover wrapping paper and gift bags. Leah was carrying the leftover trays into the kitchen putting everything in the fridge. It amazed me that one baby would wear that many clothes. I glanced over at Jade, she wouldn't notice the envious look on my face, she was absolutely glowing. She'd loved the embroidered blanket I'd made her along with a few other items all pink of course, the bag said Claire in bright green lettering. I did another once over of the living room making sure I'd got all the trash picked up and made my way into the kitchen.

My mind wandered off while I started rhythmically washing dishes, trying to help with the mess best I could. _Sam really called. I can't get over it. I wonder what he wants to talk about so bad with me, maybe he wants to know how to get back with Leah or something. _I frowned down at the punch bowl in my hands deep in thought.

Leah jabbed me with her elbow "So you're meeting Jared tomorrow?" she set down the bags she was carrying to Jade's car for her. And leaned over the counter ready to hear all the details.

I shook my head like an easel, trying to erase my thoughts "huh…oh yeah.. Him…"

she laughed at my reaction "He's not so bad looking, just kind of..well a jerk most of the time"

I rolled my eyes at her " So you set me up with a loser ?"

I put the last dish to dry and really looked at her for the first time that day. Leah had got back some of her color and didn't look near as bad as she did a couple weeks ago, maybe there was hope she'd get over him after all. She'd put on make up and fixed herself up, her personality was bubbly again as she chatted with our aunts. "Emily?" "Em?" I snapped out if it when my mom touched my cheek.

I gave her an embarrassed smile "Sorry…Just got my mind on other things".

Aunt Sue winked at me "So we've heard." she picked up her freshly washed bowls and tucked them under her arm. "Wouldn't it be nice if you guys could double with Leah and Sam someday soon?" I

looked next to me at Leah "Oh… I didn't know you guys were back together" I felt my heart sink slightly at the news.

Leah rolled her eyes at her mom "We're not back together yet.. We're just seeing if we can be civil and be friends for now is all"

I stared down at the kitchen floor "That's great Lee…I'm so happy to hear that, I know what he means to you"

She smiled with a cloudy look in her eyes "Yeah, I could never go without him. We're soul mates, I swear I could never picture him with anyone else"

Aunt Sue sighed "Puppy love is all it is" .

My mom laughed at her "Isn't that what we all told you about Harry?" She gave her sister a knowing look .

After they'd all left I went to my room to start studying for my finals that were coming up in a month. I was planning on going to the small community college on the reservation. I decided I wanted to work with children, but not quite sure how yet. I paused as I watched the rain fall through my window. _I don't even know if I should bother showing up tomorrow, I don't know what he's playing at, trying to talk to us both, unless he thinks being friends with me will make it easier for him and Leah. I'm happy she's doing so much better, but I can't help but wonder how long it's going to last._


	4. Chapter 4

A/n-- Thanks for reading you guys, Im posting two chapters this time to make up for this one being short. I decided some were too long so I cut them up, lol Hope you enjoy!

Chapter 4-It's over now

I paced around the small courtyard in the Plaza Square while I looked at my watch. He was late. Twenty minutes late to be exact. I blew out a puff of air trying not to look as nervous as I felt. My stomach was in knots already. I walked around in a circle a few more times before I sat down on a stone bench, crossing my arms over myself. I'd curled my hair and put on a skirt and nice top for nothing. I looked down at my hands, fidgetting, trying to kill more time. I'd give him five more minutes.

Looking down the sidewallk at the few shops we had, I spotted him strolling towards me at a quick pace. I stood up immediately. My heart was thudding in my chest as he got closer. "Hey there" Sam called out with a big grin on his face. I couldn't help but grin back "Hey.." I felt myself blush at the look in his eyes when he looked down at me. I'd almost forgotten how big he was. He definitely grew since I saw him last.

"So.. I was thinking we could go for a walk, then catch a movie and dinner later?" It was more of a statement than a question. I gave him a careful look "I said we could talk, I didn't say we could actually go out" I still wasn't exactly sure I should even be seen with him. Sam sighed "Fine..your way then" he held out a huge, calloused hand for me to take. "Come on, I know some good trails down the road a ways." I reluctantly slid my hand in his. After all, friends could hold hands right? He led me to the small parking lot to his truck. He reached over and opened the passenger door for me "Thanks" I said tonelessly. I still didn't want to give him the wrong idea about why we were going for a walk. He hurried over the to the drivers side and hopped in. As we backed out I spotted a few kids from school and waved back as they tried to figure out who I was with. Sam reached over and turned the radio off. "That's better, now we can actually hear each other" he glanced at me and gave me another one of those heart wrenchingly sweet smiles. 'What's so important anyways?" I asked him fiddling with my seatbelt. "I thought everything was already worked out between you and Leah now that you're back together?" . Sam almost slammed on the brakes as he looked at my quickly "Who told you that?' he had a funny look on his face.

"Leah did' I bit my lip wondering. Sam shook his head "Well, we're not back together, and I doubt if we ever will be". I turned to look out the window, not replying. After driving for about twenty minutes we came to a stop at a small wooded area between both of the reservations. I looked down at my shoes for a moment, I hoped there were trails. Very well bore ones at that.

We walked along the river side for awhile in silence before Sam stopped and turned to me. "I need to tell you something' he said bluntly. He ran a hand over the top of his short black hair. I couldn't help but notice how shaky he looked, like he was nervous or worried. "Okay…you tell me what's on your mind then I tell what's on my mind" I negotiated . He gave me a faint smile "If you even want to talk to me again after I tell you". Sam took a deep breath, "I didn't break up with Leah because I don't love her anymore, or changed how I felt about her, I hated to hurt like that" He watched me closely as I threw a few stones at the water. "I had to leave her. I'm not safe for her to be around" Sam's gaze looked far off into the woods, he looked older than the twenty years he was. Aged, like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. I looked at him wondering what he was into that was so bad it was unsafe for Leah to be around him. Keeping true to my word, I didn't speak even though I wanted to argue in my cousins defense. Leah was nothing but an innocent victim in this.

"Ever since I saw you that day she introduced us, I had to be with you" Sam spoke softly. "I can't explain it. I just feel like I need you. Constantly."

A flame burst into my throat as I whirled around to face him, not able to keep my tongue any longer. "You left Leah for me?" I shook my head angrily. "You're even worse than I thought you were, you just broke up with my cousin, my sister, and you actually thought I'd want you to?" Even as I spoke the words I knew they weren't as harsh as I needed them to be. I felt beyond shocked. I'd never really thought Sam had betrayed Leah this way. No matter how I felt about or him about me, Leah was still my own flesh and blood.

Sam reached out and grabbed my wrists forcing me to look at him "No..it's not like that I swear..I loved her, but I feel. Something stronger every time I think of you" He looked deep into my eyes with his own chocolate brown ones, I could see the hurt, the agony, in them. I shook my head again "It's wrong" I jerked my wrists free of his hands. "It's all wrong" I said again, more to myself than him.

He sighed "I wish that were the end of everything I need to tell you" That look came back on his face, he looked tired, worn out, like he hadn't slept in weeks. "You're not going to believe me, I know you're not" he mumbled. Sam looked at me, obviously worried what was going on through my mind right now. "Can't you at least try and understand it?" he asked me in a soft, sad, voice. "I know you can feel it too"

That was entirely too true for him to know. I sank to the grass, and put my head in my hands. I had no clue what to do. He was right, I felt the connection pulling me to him. But I also felt the love and the strong bond with my cousin. He slid down beside and wrapped his arms around me. I made no move to push him away, it felt like his body was made to fit mine perfectly. I let my head rest on his shoulder, I felt a single tear slide down my cheek "I don't know what to do" . Sam brushed my tear aside "Me either.. I've hurt Leah enough, but I can't just ignore this, I've never felt like this.. So.. Controlled by one person"

I closed my eyes for a moment, imagining the hell we were going to put ourselves through. "I need time to tell her, explain it to her"

Sam nodded his head " I understand, the only thing is, I don't know how I can stay away from you in the meantime" he hugged me tightly. Everything just seemed so.. Right.. Like as long as we sat here together nothing would touch us. Too bad that wasn't going to be true when I told Leah. I opened my eyes up slowly and turned to face him "I'll go down to La Push this weekend and talk to her" It was not a trip to look forward to. Sam looked at me, making me melt, adoration dripped from every cell of him when he looked at me like that. I pushed his arms off me gently and scooted away from him. "I'll need to talk my parents too" I looked at the bright sun, wandering how to handle this. It was a lot in one day.

Sam leaned back in the grass, propped up on his elbows "I could come meet them.." he started slowly before I shook my head quickly. "They think I'm with Jared" I told him frankly . "Besides that, have you even thought of what everyone's going to say about us? About **me?"** I could only start to imagine the rumors that would start flying. "Everyone's going to think you were cheating on her with me"

He shrugged "So let them talk, I doubt it if they do it long anyways" he watched me as I stood up, he looked content to just sit and stare at me. "I guess I should get you back" He stood up in a flash and stretched gracefully. He held out his hand again, as if waiting for me take it just to make sure if was ok. I slid my fingers through his, noticing how warm it seemed. _Probably from all the nervousness and worrying he'd been doing on the way here, I thought to myself._

The drive back was completely different than the way there. We talked easily, trying to find out more about each other, about each others lives. We pulled back the shopping center next to my mom's car. "So when I can come back/" he asked eagerly. As he turned the engine off, he moved closer to me. I put my back to the door and faced him "I'll call you and let you know" I promised. He nodded, he'd already given me the number to his mothers house where he lived. Sam reached over and ran a hand through my dark hair, and over my face before kissing my cheek gently. I could feel an unbelievable amount of body heat when he did it. I held his hand a moment longer, staring at him, trying to memorize every detail of his face. All in one day I felt I'd found my soul mate. Someone to really be myself with, someone to love unconditionally. I knew it was going to rip Leah's heart out when I told her. I wasn't sure I could leave Sam alone now if I wanted to.


	5. Chapter 5

a/n: Hope you like this one

Chapter 5- A stab in the heart

It'd been only two days since I'd saw Sam and I felt like it'd been months. Every time I called him I told my mom it was one of my friends from school. We talked endlessly during the day, it seemed at night Sam disappeared and was never there. It was better to talk during the day anyways, my mom and dad both were at work, so they never noticed I was constantly on the phone. He told me about his childhood, his dad leaving, his mom always having to work to take care of him when he was younger, and staying home from college to help out. I had yet to find anything out about him that I didn't like. He seemed so perfect for me. He didn't even laugh when I told him the truth when he asked how many guys I'd dated, or about my parents strict rules. Nothing was going to scare him off.

I laid back on my bed, toying with the phone cord, picturing him. _Now to think of how to tell Leah.. I don't know if I should tell her before mom, She's going to hate me, I don't want to lose her. Reaching beside me, I grabbed the small picture of me and Leah that sat on my night stand. I stared at Leah so long I lost track of time. I frowned, knowing what choice I was fixing to make. I couldn't hurt her. I decided I would only stay with Sam if Leah told me it wasn't going to bother. I knew the chances of that were slim. Very slim. I couldn't picture myself being happy while she wasn't. I was too kind hearted for that. I'd never be able to do anything to cause her so much pain. _

"_Hey hon, how was your day?' my mom was standing in my door way as I tore my eyes away from the picture, taking off her earrings and stepping out of shoes. She worked as a manger at the reservations only small grocery store. I smiled at her, the past few days I felt like I was finally smiling and laughing for the first times. "Great, actually I went ahead and did the housework for you, so you wouldn't have to come home to it'. A look of relief and gratitude came over her face "Thanks sweetie, I notice you've been in a good mood lately, any special reason?" _

_I felt myself glowing as I answered her "Yes" I said smiling. Mom stepped all the way in my room and sat down on the bed beside me "I figured you weren't just talking to Jade, or Leah, or Ariel on that phone" I couldn't get the stupid grin off my face even I tried. My mom patted me on the knee "It's okay.. So when do we get to meet this guy?" she reached up and let her hair out of its tight bun while she talked. I shrugged "Maybe in a few days.. I'll have to see.. " I had no intentions of letting them meet Sam until I found out how Leah took it. She sighed "You don't have to be so shy about it sweetie" she stood up and headed towards my door. I laughed "I'm not shy about him.. It's just.. I don't want to creep him with introduction so early" She shrugged "Well, whenever you decide to bring him by is fine with us, as long someone else is home ok?" she gave me a knowing look as she headed down hallway. _

_Later that night, I crept downstairs and took the cordless off the charger after everyone else had went to bed. I tip toed back up to my room. I shut the door quietly behind me and crawled back into the warm bed. I dialed the number I knew by heart now and sat there listening as it rang. "Hello?" Sam answered quickly. I smiled "Hey..it's me.. Emily" Sam laughed ":I know, so what's up?" I toyed with my hair as I leaned back onto the pillows "Just thought I'd call and say good night" I could almost picture the look on his face as he talked to me "When can I come up there again?" I sighed "I don't know, I wish I could talk to Leah first" we'd already had this conversation a million times. Sam made a noise that sounded almost like a growl "I need to see you, we've still got a lot of talk about, but not over the phone, it hurts not being near you" I closed my eyes drinking in the sound of his voice "Soon. I promise, soon… just a couple of more days" he spoke softly into the phone " If you don't tell when soon, I might just pop up one day" I laughed at him "Too bad I won't be here, I have three more weeks of school left". _

_Sam sighed "I forgot you go to school still, so I guess that just leaves weekend huh?"_

"_For now anyways, I'll have a couple months between graduation and my first semester at mc" I hadn't much on it college lately, it seemed so, foreign. It didn't seem to fit my life right now. Only Sam did. "I guess I better go, I need to get some sleep" Sam yawned "I should probably go to bed soon too, between work and….:he stopped there and paused a moment "well work and other stuff, I'm exhausted" I wondered what else he could possibly be cramming into his schedule, "We can talk it tomorrow, night" He must have noticed my sudden abruptness and paused before saying back "Night Em, see you soon sweetie". We both hung up at the exact same moment. _

_I laid the phone down beside me on the bed and curled into a little ball. My mind wandered back over our short conversation. I knew I wouldn't be able to keep him at bay much longer. He was getting restless about not seeing me now that he knew I felt the same way. I still felt like maybe he saw more into than I did though. I wouldn't be able to put telling Leah off any longer. I might as well get it over with tomorrow._


	6. Chapter 6

I know you guys are reading this so plz review!!! Hope you like it

Chapter 6- Karma

After school I walked over the grocery store where my mom was at work. I walked through the sliding doors feeling the gush of cold air hit me when they opened. I looked around the front for my mom, I frowned wondering where she was. I headed the back when I caught sight of her standing in aisle directing a stock boy on what to do with some boxes. I waved over to her and started walking to her. She met me half way "Hey honey" she hugged me loosely. "Everything ok?" I didn't usually stop in unless I needed something. "No.. I just wanted to see if I could get your car and go see Leah for a little bit.I'll come back by 7" I looked at her pleadingly. She sighed as she reached in her pocket and dug out the keys "Here, but you better leave by 6" I nodded and threw my arms around her neck. "Thanks mom!" I hurried out the door wanting to make the most out of the time limit I had.

I tossed my bag in the back seat and headed towards La Push. I was mentally trying to prepare myself for this. I had no clue exactly what I was going to tell her. I had rehearsed it but I knew I'd forget it as soon as I saw her. I stared out the window at a stop light, forgetting where I was for a moment until I heard a horn honk behind me. I pressed the gas and took off, I had the urge to turn around and head back home, but putting it off would only make it worse though. As I entered the city limits, I turned to pull into the small garage where Sam worked. No sooner than I did, he came running out in his grease stained clothes. I opened up the door and got out. Sam wrapped me into a bear hug, squeezing me tightly. He looked down at me with his dark full of happiness. He let go of me. "Sorry, I couldn't help it, you didn't even call me to tell me" he said accusingly. I laughed "I didn't even know until about an hour ago my self" I shrugged "I figured today's a good as time as any" Sam wrapped his arms around me again, this time earning a few jeers from his co- workers. "I could go with you you know". I let my arms circle his middle loosely "I think I should do it alone, let her get used to this, I don't want her to think we've been together long enough to things as a united front just yet"

Sam loosened his grip on me "Fine" he said tiredly. "But you got to promise me you'll stop back here and tell me what happened"

"If I have time I will" I replied curtly, pushing him away gently. I didn't want him too close too soon. Hanging on each other in public was something we needed to wait a lot longer on. He didn't even seem to care I'd dismissed his affection. "I'd better get going, I have to leave by 6 and its already five." I turned to go , waving at him with one hand. He rolled his eyes "Fine, just tease me and leave me then" he said jokingly. He stepped back as I got into the car waving and watching until I was out of sight from the garage. I glanced in the mirror, my face was flushed and my eyes glittery, I hoped it wouldn't be too obvious to Leah that I was ecstatic over something. My stomach was still fluttering from the sight of him. _Soon_ I reminded my self. _he'll be mine soon. Really mine. I won't have to push him away anymore when we hug, I'll be able to come down here more often instead of just once in a while. _I smiled again, my cheeks were starting to hurt from all this happiness. I kept waiting to explode from it.

It definitely deflated a little as I pulled up in front the Clearwater's house. I sat in the car gripping the wheel, trying to get the courage to get out. I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. It's now or never I thought grimly as I swung the door open. I walked as slow as I could to the door, I had my hand raised to knock when it flung open.. I jumped slightly '!" I forced a smile at Leah as she hugged me tightly. "I'm so happy you're here" she said brightly. "I can't believe they let you come down on a week day though" she led me through the living and up the stairs to her room. Good, at least the while family wouldn't have to witness this. 'Yeah I told mom I had a few things I needed to talk about with you" She swung open the door to her room. I walked in and sat down on the small desk chair. Leah sat cross legged on the floor "So much has been going on down here" she started. "Something strange is up with Sam, he keeps disappearing like he used to before. No one knows where though, or what he's doing". She leaned back against the bed. "I kept hoping that he would come back around but who knows what's going through his head right now?"

I cringed inside, this was not going to be easy I could tell. I moved down the floor to sit beside her. "I need to tell you something. Something important." I stared down at the carpet. Leah studied my face carefully "I'm sorry.. I didn't even stop to ask you what's going on with you that made you come down, I got so absorbed in my problems". I shook my head slowly "No.. don't apologize. I'm the one that owes you the apology. I did something wrong. Something I never would have never thought I'd do in a million years to you" I felt the tears well up in my eyes. Leah hugged me with one arm thrown over my shoulders "It's okay, I'm sure its not that bad Emily" she went to hug me tightly and stopped 'You smell like… oil" she said with a wrinkled nose. I pushed her away from her "Leah." I took a deep breath. "Leah.. I wanted to tell you I've fallen for someone. For the first time I really love someone". She moved back now, I could have sworn she was holding her breath.

"I wanted to tell you I'm with Sam, he needs me, I need him" I could see her turning red as she jumped up. I held a hand up to stop her before she started. "I decided if you're not okay with this then I'll leave him."

Leah exploded "I cannot believe this!" she was screaming "You've been seeing him the whole time haven't you?! that's why he broke up with me after I introduced you to him! You were seeing him behind my back!" she was shaking with emotion. Tears were pouring down both of our faces now. "He's mine, not yours. He's my Sam, not yours" she sobbed

I tried wiping the tears off my cheeks but they kept falling "It's not like that Leah, I swear, I told him I couldn't see him again unless you were okay with. I don't want to cause you pain" I moved to hug her, wrap my arms around her as we both cried. She shoved me away. "Don't touch me! And no you can't see him, how could you?" she kept crying her heart was breaking all over again in front of me. "How could he?" she whispered.

I covered my face in my hands, not wanting her to see the emotion on it, "He never betrayed you Leah, I didn't either, he broke up with you before he even tried to talk to me, I tried to put it off, but I can't, he needs me " I said softly. Leah rolled her eyes "He won't need you for long when he finds out what a prude you are ". I felt like I'd been slapped "Fine, I won't see him, we'll all be miserable, but I'll do it if it means you're still speaking to me"

She laughed harshly 'You'll be lucky if I ever speak to you again" she crossed the room and flung open the door and waited for me to leave. As I walked by her I said quietly "I never meant for it to be this way" I hurried down the stairs, not meeting the eyes of Harry, Sue , and Seth who were all standing at the bottom wondering what had just happened. I ran out of the house and to the car. I slammed the car door shut behind, finally able to sob like I wanted to. I couldn't imagine not hearing his voice anymore. But Leah was more important to me. She was like a sister after all. I'd suffer to make her happy. I could only wander why she wasn't willing to do the same. I sat there a moment until I'd calmed down enough to drive. I backed out and left knowing it would be the last time I visited alone, without my parents again. I knew it was just a matter of time before Sue called my mom and told her what I'd done to Leah.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7- Total eclipse of the heart

I pulled up the garage again and sat in the car knowing Sam would spot me and come out. Sure enough, he came striding out of the work are wiping his hands on a rag. He had a grin on his face until he was close enough to get a good look at me. I knew I looked horrible, my make up had ran and I was blotchy and tear streaked.

"What happened?" he asked me softly as he leaned in the door way. I shook my head "Not here" I said throatily. "Can you take a break?" There was no way I was going to tell him I couldn't see him again in front of friends and co-workers. I reached up and wiped underneath my eyes, sniffling. I should have known it was too good to be true that I could actually be with the guy I'd wanted for so long in secret. Sam glanced back at the small office beside the garage "I'll go see" he jogged off at a hurried pace. I glanced at my reflection in the rearview mirror, but all I could picture was the pain in Leah's eyes when I told her I wanted Sam. It would be a memory that would haunt me forever I knew. _I've got to go through this one time, just one more time,_ I took a deep breath knowing after I did this I would live through it every day again.

I was staring off into space when the passenger door opened and Sam slid in beside me. I started the car and backed out slowly "Where can we go to talk?" I wasn't going to clue him in until we were out of a confined space. "Go up the road and pull over at the trail I took you to last time" I nodded, carefully not looking his way as I felt those warm, loving eyes on me. He cleared his throat and glanced out the window. We stayed in silence until we pulled up to the woods that ran by the river. I opened my door and got out and crossed my arms over myself so he wouldn't try and take my hand or hug me. Sam frowned slightly, noticing a change in my body language since earlier. I walked ahead of him a few feet into the trail before I stopped and whirled to face him.

"I can't be with you" I pushed the words out of my mouth before I could change my mind. I felt the tears welling up all over again. I avoided looking at Sam in the face. He reached out and grabbed my hand and jerked my arms free of each other "Why not? What happened ?" he took my face into his hands gently, tilting it upwards to look into his eyes. "What did Leah say to you?" he demanded. The tears rolled down my cheeks, "I told her I wouldn't see you if it hurt her too much" it came out in a sob. He got an grimace on his beautiful face "You should have known she'd say it did, even if it didn't Emily" An almost growling sound came from him. "I'm sorry…I can't hurt her like this, " I pushed him away from me. "Don't make it any harder than it is" Sam threw his hands in air "You can't just not be with me Emily, I need you. I can't go without you" he said it in a pleading voice. "Don't do this"

I felt my heart shattering just as Leah's had, the lump in my throat grew and a hole formed in my chest "I have to…if she can't have you why should I?" I was breathing in gasps now, almost like I was hyperventilating. "I have to go" I started walking back to my car shakily knowing he would follow after me. I felt his hands on my waist as he spun me to face him." I won't stop trying" Sam's eyes had turned black it seemed with emotion. He pulled me close to him and kissed me with such force and passion I couldn't help but close my eyes and wrap my arms on him. I let him hold me a moment after the kiss ended. "We'll figure something out, I know we can" he pleaded with me. I sighed "We can't.. not until Leah moves" . Sam got a look of desperation " You're willing to sacrifice your own happiness for someone that doesn't care about yours or anyone's as long as she gets what she wants?"

I unwrapped my arms from him "I will sacrifice for her. She's my cousin. If she hurts, I hurt" I knew he would never understand the bond with us. Sam moved to grab onto me again "I'll talk to her, just don't…. don't make any decisions"

I started walking again "I made it after I saw her" I told him in a unfeeling voice. "I'm sorry" I said for what felt like the millionth time that day. "I'll walk back" he said in a dead voice. "I need some time to think". He gave me a look of longing as I walked out of view with each step I took. I knew as soon as I was back in the car alone I would fall to pieces again.

I slammed the door and put my seatbelt on. I couldn't take this feeling, like I was punched in the chest. I leaned my head on the wheel and sobbed. This time it seemed I would never stop. I would never stop crying for Sam. I cried, and cried until my eyes were sore and swollen. I looked at the time on the cd player. It was a quarter to seven. Another problem added to the rest. I wasn't sure if I could handle it if Aunt Sue had already called mom and told her what happened. Mom would be another person angry at me. I couldn't do anything right. I wasn't good enough. I was wrong and selfish for wanting something that wasn't mine. Worse than that, I had been willing to take someone else's happy ending and make it my own. I drove home in the dark, still sniffling. If mom didn't know anything she'd be able to tell when she saw me. I felt quite sure I would fall apart when I got in my own house, worse than I had in the car.

I drove the long drive back, with the radio off until I pulled up to my tiny two story house. I pulled in the drive way and got out, my knees were shaky like a newborn lambs might have been. I carried myself into the house opening the door slowly and tried to make as less noise as possible as I pushed it shut. "Emily!" I hear my mom's voice call out from the livingroom. "Do you have any idea what time it is?" . She was angry. I could tell from her voice. "I'm sorry" I whispered when she walked into the kitchen. She stood in front of me with her hands on her hips. "Your Aunt Sue called me. She had a very interesting story to tell me" She pursed her lips, taking in my appearance." She told me what you did" . I looked up at her, my eyes were so sore I couldn't cry even though I wanted to. "Mom.. It's not like their saying. Leah didn't even let me explain.-" I started only to be cut off. "How could you do her like that?" how could hurt your own cousin?" my mom put a hand on my shoulder. "No matter how great this guy is, he's not worth losing Leah over Emily" I backed away from her, letting her hand drop and spoke so softly I wasn't sure she would hear me "Don't you at least want to hear my side?". My mom shook her hand "I think I've heard enough of if for tonight, and don't even ask to use the car again" She grabbed a dishrag and started scrubbing at the already clean counter. "I thought I knew you better than this" She threw the rag in the sink and stood with her back turned to me. "You're not allowed to go anywhere for awhile either.. Your dad thinks you need to think on what you've done"

"I don't have anyone to see anyways" I mumbled at her. She'd reached for a covered plate and was fixing to put it in the microwave. "I can't eat so don't even bother" If I tried to swallow anything I knew I'd just throw it back up again. My stomach was in knots. Mom covered it back up "You can't starve yourself over him" she said snidely. I looked at her, wanting to explain and make her understand my side of everything so bad. "I told him I couldn't see him again. You'll be happy to know that" I didn't want her to see the pain in my eyes so I took off up the stairs not even speaking to my dad. I slammed my bedroom door behind me and sank on my bed. I didn't bother turning the lights on or even taking my shoes off as I laid down, curled into a little ball and let everything go. It was the only way I knew how to make myself feel better. My body shook with my sobs as I replayed every word he'd spoke to me, the two precious kisses, and few hugs. _I don't know what to do with myself now, I just want to lay here and cry, I want Sam. I want Leah to be happy. _My chest ached from heaving so much. I could hear my mom outside my room, somewhere in the hallway, probably listening to see if I called Sam after I ran up. _I'll never be able to call him again, I'll never be able to hear his voice, see the look in his eyes, like he can see inside of me and truly care for me._ I shifted onto my sides slightly when I heard the door knob twist, slowly the door pushed open.

"Em?" My mom asked softly. She came in and closed it behind her and paused to turn on the small lamp on my dresser. I turned my face away from her, and moved over as she sat down on the edge of my bed. "You barely know this Sam guy sweetie, you can't be that attached to him" She reached over and ran a hand through my long hair. "It might seem like the end of the world but its not' she laid a cool hand on my cheek. I finally rolled over and looked at her. "I want him.. I want to be with him. I told Leah I wouldn't if it hurt her so much, and she still hates me after I told him to go away" I was speaking low. "It's not as childish as you think". Mom nodded her head at me "Not many would have done what you did for Leah. I'm sorry I yelled at you Em, I should have let you explain, not just taken your Aunt Sue's side on everything." . I sat up slowly, "I feel so horrible. I've hurt everyone, Sam didn't mean for it happen either, it just did". I pushed my hair behind my ears "I'll be okay in a few days" She squeezed my hand "Everything will go back to normal after you forget him". She left my room after talking to me a few minutes more. _My sacrifice, _I thought sadly. _My sacrifice that I'll learn to live with,. _

_\_


	8. Chapter 8

\Chapter 8 Suddenly I see -

It had been a week since I'd ripped out Sam and Leah's hearts. Every day I got closer to graduation. I started looking at colleges out of state, I thought if I could get away from everything the weight I felt dragging me down would go away. My Aunt Sue and Leah were more or less ignoring my mother and me. It seemed that even though I did what Leah wanted me to, she still wasn't going to talk to me. She would come around in time my mom told me. I just agreed with her and didn't argue, I hoped that her anger would go away soon, I was as lonely as ever.

I walked the hallways at school with a smile on my face, and laughed and joked with my friends knowing it was an act. They could tell I was hurting but didn't know the whole truth behind it. Everyday was a day closer to graduation. When I left school I walked home slowly, taking in the cool breeze along the cliffs near my house., it was beautiful outside. Almost too beautiful, I felt like it should be dark and raining outside. I walked up the path to my house humming lightly as I let myself in. I could hear the phone ringing as I hurried to grab it. "Hello?" I answered breathlessly. There was silence. "Hello?" I repeated again, just as I was fixing to hang up I heard him say "Don't hang up". I felt my heart skip a beat. "Sam?" I wondered out loud. "Yeah.. Its me.. I know I shouldn't have called but I needed to at least hear you'. I closed my eyes, the sound of his voice was making my mood change quickly. "It's okay..I wanted to call you a few times too but I thought you'd never want to talk to me again" Sam laughed into the phone "I always want to talk to you, hear your voice, and see you, " I knew I should hang up, forget he had called "I still haven't changed my mind' I reminded him. "I still can't see you". He sighed "Yes you can, you just need to think of yourself for once, I know it's not easy for you either". _If only he knew how true that was _I thought to myself. "I never said it was easy, I just said I can't be happy with Leah miserable".

"Yeah but she still hasn't spoke to you even though we're not seeing each other" he reminded me. "She probably won't either". I thought about it, _I can't let him convince me it's right, I know it's not, but he does have a point, he knows only too well about Leah's stubbornness, we're all miserable because of it. _Sam pressed further "So.. With that said.. I wonder if you'd be interested in coming down for a bonfire this Thursday…" he sounded too hopeful. I bit my lip, trying to decide from right and wrong, "I don't know…". I didn't even know if my parents would let me out of the house any time soon. I was still technically grounded despite the fact I hadn't even wanted to go anywhere. "I'll bring you back early and if we get there and you feel uncomfortable I'll take you home or we can go somewhere else.'.

It didn't seem he was ever going to take no for a final answer on anything. "Fine, but only for a couple of hours and I'll have to meet you somewhere in town" I didn't have to elaborate on the reason why. I was sure he realized my family didn't exactly like him at the moment. Sam let out a sigh of relief 'Great.. I'll meet you at seven by the library then" I could almost picture the look on his face right now. "I gotta go, they'll be here soon". It would only make it worse to get out if they knew I'd talked to Sam. "I'll call you if something changes" I said softly, coiling the phone cord around my fingers. "It seems like an eternity to wait," he complained. "I'll take what I can get for now though I guess". I smiled in spite of myself "I'll talk to you soon". He made a grimacing sound "Bye then.. I'll see you soon sweetie". I hung up quickly before he could trick me into talking longer. _What in the world did I agree to? Why does he seem to have some power over me? I can't believe I'm going to see him again. I swore I wouldn't, I guess she won't find out about one time though.._

By the time I'd helped with the dishes after dinner and did my homework I was exhausted. All I'd felt like doing lately was sleeping or just laying in the bed in silence. Tonight while I laid there I started rethinking everything with Sam. I still didn't understand the strong feeling he had for me even though he barely knew me. I felt something strong for him, but not love exactly. I knew it was more than just a friendship feeling though. I could never be just his friend. I turned the tv on and flipped through the channels before deciding on an old black and white movie. I loved classic love stories like that.

I laid for a while until I glanced at the clock. Already midnight. Not thinking too long on it, I grabbed the phone and dialed the familiar number after I promised I wouldn't. It rang several times before Sam picked up. "Emily/" he said sounding a bit out of breath. Suddenly I regretted calling 'I'm sorry.. I shouldn't have called.. It's late, I probably woke you up".

"No.. I'm up, just packing a few things up". I heard some scuffling noises. "Packing?" I said quietly. My mind moved the worst possible things. Sam laughed "Yeah packing, not like that Em.. I'm renting a house not too far from my mom's , I'm packing some of my stuff up to move over there tomorrow". I frowned wondering what had brought this on 'Ohh… Is everything… ok?". He sighed "Sometimes.. Mom doesn't understand sometimes I don't want to come home at night.. Stuff like that". I felt a surge of jealously. Not coming home at night obviously meant he was staying with someone. Or some other girl. "I see " I cleared my throat. It never occurred to me that he might be seeing other people. "I need to go" I stated. I started to hang up when I heard say loudly "Wait!". I paused, did I even want to hear it? " What?" I asked him in a dead, unfeeling voice.

"It's not like that" he started explaining "I just have..stuff to do sometimes and she doesn't like it is all. I know it sounds funny…" his voice trailed off. I snorted into the phone "Stuff huh?" I kept myself from telling him what I really thought his stuff. Sam sighed "I can't tell you.. Not yet.. I'm not out with other girls if that's what you're getting at though" . I didn't answer him right away, I wondered if I should believe him. I didn't really know him that well to know if he was someone that date around or not. "It's not any of my business anyways' I said softly. "We're not together or anything". Sam chuckled and told me in a sweet voice "We could be though. But you don't want to be. I'll just wait til you change your mind". I felt my stomach flutter a little bit "You could be waiting awhile then" I teased him losing any jealousy there had been. He laughed, the way he laughed made me picture his perfect smile. "I'm willing to wait it out for awhile. Its worth it I think". I smiled in spite of myself "I haven't decided if you are". I giggled not being able to help it "I'm still not even sure I should be meeting up with you".

"But you want to, and you know you want to, and you know that if you don't I'll just have to show up at your door" he teased back. "You don't even know where I live" I responded matter of factly. "Don't be so sure of that" he replied back. "You should come help me move". He knew what I was going to say even before I asked. " I can't and you know it'. I yawned getting sleepy. "I guess I should let you go to bed, you have school" he yawned himself. "Only three more weeks" I said sleepily. "Then I graduate". Sam laughed at that "I never noticed you were that young" He sounded more like he was saying it to himself. "How old are you exactly anyways?".

I wondered if I should tell him the truth or not, I hadn't thought too much on his age either. Physically he looked a lot older than me. Probably too old. "I'm eighteen". I waited to hear his reaction. "That's not so bad of a difference I guess, not that it matters anyways, it wouldn't change anything if you were younger than that . It'd just mean a few more years of waiting I guess". He seemed determined to wait it out, no matter what the reason. "What about you?' I asked him curious now. "Twenty" he replied back. "But a very old and very young twenty.". It made sense to me. He was definitely more mature than his age. I felt my head dip "Night" I mumbled. "Night baby" his voice sounded deeper, huskier. I closed my eyes as he said it. It didn't bother me at all for him to call me any pet names. "bye' I whispered and hung up. I drifted off into the first night of willful sleep in a while that hadn't been caused from crying.


	9. Chapter 9

Hey guys, thanks for the reviews and the people that are subscripting. Im trying to catch you guys up with wrote I have written so far, I have actually got twelve chapters to post for you guys lol. Enjoy!!

Chapter 9 Hungry like the wolf

I floated through my classes on Thursday, nothing could my attention it seemed. I was focused on going to La Push later. I'd told Sam to meet me at my house at 4. If I was quick and left on time, I'd be long gone before they noticed I didn't come home and stay home. I looked down at my watch as I walked home from school at a hurried pace. It was 3:30. I waved to the neighbors as I raced by trying to hurry. I unlocked the door and rushed through the living and climbed up the stairs and tossed my bag on the bed. I undressed and started pulling on the denim skirt and pink hooded sweater. I sat down and started rubbing my make up onto my face, making sure it was even. After I got done getting ready, I went and sat outside on the porch watching eagerly for Sam. It was already a quarter til five. I got up and staring pacing back and forth. I stopped and listened hard. A moment later I heard the low rumble of Sam's Ford F-150. I grabbed my purse from the steps and met him as he was pulling up. I jumped in hurriedly,, not giving him a chance to get out to open the door.

Sam had one arm thrown over the back of the seat. "I thought you were gonna stand me up" he joked as he backed up and took off. I laughed as I put my seatbelt on "Actually, I was starting to wonder the same thing about you". He looked over at me as he drove, and that same cloudly look of longing he always had. "I figured I'd take you over to my mom's for a while" he said with a small smile. I glanced at him "Are you serious?". If I had known that I would have chose different clothes. Sam shrugged 'Its not a big deal really." He seemed relaxed about it. 'What am I meeting her as exactly?" I said quietly. I had a feeling his mom thought different of our friendship than I did. He laughed "You're meeting her as Emily girlfriend of a month". He didn't look my way as we entered the La Push city district. It was barely starting to get dark out. We still had at least an hour or so to kill before everyone started gathering down at First Beach.

Sam turned off onto a small dirt road and drove down it for a few minutes before turning into the driveway of a small red and gray house with a fenced in yard and a small shed to the side. I felt myself getting jittery. "Just so you know, you could have at least gave me warning". Sam reached over and took both my hands into his and kissed me on the lips gently. He pressed his forehead against mine, I felt him wrap his arms on me and pull me closer to him. Sam held me tight for a few minutes, his face in my hair and my head resting on his shoulder. The emotions seemed to be pouring from us as we sat there in silence, just holding each other. I never wanted to let him go. "Sam?" I whispered in his ear."I think we should get out". I didn't really want it to end, but I didn't want his mom to wonder what was taking us so long to get out either. He squeezed my waist slightly and kissed me again, this time with more force as he pushed his lips against mine. I felt myself getting weak kneed sitting there and pushed him back from me. I shook my head "Don't" I said softly. I reached for the door handle and got out, closing it loudly behind me.

Sam got out a moment after I did. His face was set into a look I hadn't seen before. He walked around the side of the truck and grabbed my hand. "Don't worry.. She won't bite" he promised as he led me towards the house. I used my free hand to smoother out my pink shirt. I knew my face was flushed but maybe she would think it was all from the nervousness. Sam tugged me up the two steps and pushed up the door. I looked around as I stepped inside, it was small but cozy. The tv was on and the fireplace lit. He led me through to the kitchen where a woman stood with her back to us. From what I could tell she had salt and pepper hair and medium weight. "Hey mom?' he called out. The woman turned around quickly from the counter where she was rolling out dough for something. "Glad to see you finally decided to bring the mystery woman home" she chastised him. She gave me a warm smile and held out her hand to me "I'm Helen" she introduced herself. I took her hand all nervousness was gone. "Hi… I'm Emily" I said shyly. I looked at her face, she resembled Sam but only he had a much more tired, old before his time look in his eyes that were so much like hers.

Helen motioned to the bar stools at the counter "Have a seat, I'll be done here in a few minutes then we can really talk". She winked at Sam. "I'm curious to know what you've done to get him so wrapped around your finger so quick". Sam rolled his eyes at her "Funny.. We can't stay long anyways". He pulled out the stood for me sit in. I slid onto it, perching on the side. Helen starting cleaning up the dough mess as she talked, "So you're Leah's cousin also right?" she said it so innocently I didn't even wonder if she was meaning to take a stab at me. "Actually… yes.. " I looked at Sam to make sure it was okay. He gave me a short nod. Under the counter he'd slid his hand over and rested it on my knee. I shifted making him move. Helen poured us all some lemonade and sat down finally. She seemed like the kind of woman that was headstrong, always doing something.

Helen smiled at me kindly "At first I thought he must be sneaking off to see you then he finally told me the truth about everything. I was relived actually. I thought any kind of girl he couldn't see during the day he didn't need" She laughed at herself "To think I would choose this over that". Sam cleared his throat loudly, and gave her a look. I glanced at him, he'd told me he was moving because she didn't like him not coming home. He lied for some reason. Helen reached across the counter and took my hand in her cold one, "I asked Sam to bring you here so I could meet you, see for myself that you weren't the kind of girl they're all saying you are for taking him from Leah even though you didn't". I felt my face burn with embarrassment. Leah must have told everyone Sam had left her for her man stealing cousin out of spite. Sam didn't say anything. I looked down at the floor. This was going just great. The whole town thought I was a slut. And a heartless one at that. Helen realized what her last few words did to me. "I'm sorry… I didn't mean to upset you.. I thought surely you knew by now, that your Aunt would have told you". She shook her head "That woman is almost as vengeful as her daughter". Sam took a sip of drink "I can't seem to get them to understand that it didn't happened the way they think it did, without going into too much".

I ran my fingers in the moisture from my glass, not meeting their eyes. It hurt me deeply that my own family was spreading lies about me. It was a no win situation. I was almost ready to choose the wrong side in it. Helen squeezed my hand "I want you to know, I think you'll be the best thing to happen to my son". She looked into my eyes, I felt like she was trying to look into my mind, "I haven't seen him so happy in a long time, not for a year to be exact". I didn't know how to reply to this other than nod my head and gaze next to me where Sam looked uncomfortable. He got up breaking the tension I felt "It's about time for everyone to start showing up". I slid down from the stool "Well, it was nice to be able to come meet you, He's told me a lot about you when he was growing up". Helen laughed as she followed us the door "Hopefully all good" She held the door open as I stepped out into the dark night. "You're welcome here anytime, I'd like to talk more, it looks like we'll be around each other a lot in the future if Sam has any say in it". I smiled at her, "Next time I'm in town I'll stop" I promised, We waved bye as we headed to the truck, Sam opened my door for me and closed it after I'd climbed in.

"What'd you think?" he asked with a smirk as he started the truck up and we headed down the beach. I moved closer to him on the seat and leaned against him as he drove, "She's nice…. Why didn't you tell me what everyone's saying about me though?". I was curious to hear the answer to that. Sam wrapped an arm on my shoulders "It's just Leah.. It'll blow over soon anyways, no big deal". He was fluffing it off like it was nothing to be the accused man stealer. "It is too a big deal. I wouldn't have dared shown my face here if you'd told me". Sam got a smug look on his tan face "Exactly". I swatted him with the back of my hand as he pulled into the beach parking lot. The drive was only a couple of miles, I wondered why he even bothered driving the short distance.

"You Can't let her get to you so bad Em" Sam was running a finger over the back of my hand making it tingle. Even though I'd sworn not to have anything to do him, that magnetic connection kept pulling us back together again. I surprised myself by leaning over and kissing his perfect lips. The next second he was kissing me back, turning it more passionate before he pulled away leaving me out of breath. "You ready?' he asked. I knew it was than asking if I was ready to get out. He meant was I ready to face the friends of Leah that hated me by now. I looked at him "No. but I won't give them the satisfaction of scaring me off tonight.". We got out and headed towards the end of the beach. I could hear the music and the laughing and talking of everyone as we got closer. "Hey Sam!" several voices called out. He nodded to the younger boys that seemed to idolize him from the way they looked at him. The girls with the boys didn't look at me too friendly.

"Over here" a voice called out. I looked in the direction it came from. A group of college age guys and a few girls were sitting around a small fire of their own. Sam tugged me in the direction. I followed after him, "This must be the replacement" I heard one of the guys joke with him. "I gotta say… She's a lot prettier than Leah". He grinned at me "I'm Eli. Sam's cousin". He held his hand out for me shake. I took it, smiling in return as we sat down on a log. Everyone around the fire went in a circle introducing themselves to me. It seemed these were Sam's old high school buddies. All of them had went off to school except for him. We sat there laughing and joking, I felt like I fit in easily among his friends. Sam started having a few Bud lights with the others. I eyed him a moment.

I made friends quickly with Eli's girlfriend Cassadee. She asked me questions about myself, my family, and school, obviously trying to get me to feel more at ease with everyone. I looked down at my watch. It was already ten. I was dead when I got home but it was worth it. It was worth it for just one night out. "So how long have you been with Eli?" I asked her as she stirred the fire around. "About a year or so" she said with a grin. "What about you and Sam? I want the truth too" she said giggling. I laughed back "Only a month if even that" I knew she wouldn't believe me. Cassadee winked at me "How long have you been wanting to get with him?" she joked. I shook my head at her, she was unbelievably cool. Eli poked her in the side "We can hear you two talking about us you know". She shrugged "It doesn't bother me, does it you Emily?". Sam smirked at her "It might bother me and Eli". Cassadee rolled her eyes at him "You two don't get an opinion in anything". She speared a marshmallow on the end of a stick and held it over the fire. I copied her, twirling mine around in circles to get even. I pulled it back and popped it in my mouth whole. I could hardly move my jaws. When I finally got it all swallowed, I turned to Sam, "It's getting kinda late". He went to open his mouth to speak but another one of the guys cut him off, "What's the matter Sam? Your girlfriends not allowed out past eleven on a school night?".

Sam punched him lightly in the shoulder "Shut up". He gave him a look. "At least she actually goes which is a lot more than I can we did". That caused everyone nearby to laugh loudly. Cassadee stuck her tongue out at the hater "Leave her alone" she said in a joking but stern tone. Sam slid his arm around my waist as we sat there for a while longer, I could feel him running his thumb back and forth on my side. I shivered, from the cold or his touch I didn't know. He was unreasonably warm while the rest of us sat in jackets and sweaters, he had a short sleeve shirt on. I hadn't forgot about the things I wanted to ask. About his disappearances, his moving out, and what exactly Leah was telling everyone. I yawned as I looked up at the stars while he talked about the upcoming game of some sort with the guys. Cassadee had nodded off in a bundle of borrowed coats.

Sam nudged me "Ready to go?'. I nodded to him quickly. It was midnight now. I might as well sign my rights away as soon as I walked through the door in a little while. He pulled me to my feet, I waved bye to everyone as Sam downed his last beer of the night. He grabbed my hand as we walked towards his truck. "you're not really ready to go home yet are you?" he asked. I shrugged "I might as well make it worth it I guess". I grinned at him as I hopped in. "What'd you have in mind next?". Sam pulled out onto the road "I thought I'd show where I lived at now". I hadn't been expecting to hear that. We could go as long as he didn't have the wrong idea. I thought to myself. When I didn't say anything back he squeezed my hand "I didn't mean it like that, I just thought I'd show in case you wanted to drop in sometime". He turned off down what seemed to be a deserted dead end road. He drove to the end of it, coming up the lane I saw a tiny gray house. It definitely was not as nice as his mom's had been. It needed some work but it had potential. He hopped out and I followed behind him as we walked through the yard and into the house. He flipped on the lights and that's when I really got a good look. It was a total mess and nightmare. Definitely a bachelor pad you could say. It was mostly kitchen on the bottom floor. It had nice, wooden flooring and looked like he had painted the walls in the living room. He didn't have furniture but then again he didn't need it.

Sam laughed at the expression I must have had on my face "It's that bad huh?" He kicked off his shoes by the door, making me wince as dirt flew everywhere. I shook my head at him "I don't mind… uh… helping you out, getting you settled in you know". That was the nicest way I could say I wanted to get a broom, bucket, and bleach and scrub the place top to bottom. Sam shrugged as he held out a coke to me, I shook my head at it. "No thanks…". He put it on the counter as he opened yet another beer. I looked at him warily "Are you sure you're gonna be able to drive?" Sam got that annoying look on his face "I'm sure…" he set it down after only taking one gulp and moved towards me. I tensed up, wondering what he was fixing to do when he pulled my coat off with a smirk on his face. "Don't be so scared of me, I'm not going to bite you". He laughed. As he hung my coat up by the back door.

I relaxed as I walked around his small house, looking at the decor. There were tons of artwork of wolves on the walls. A few looked hand painted. On his entertainment center down the sides where the shelves were there were several figurines. I smirked at them. So he was a collector. I reached up and touched one, aware that his eyes were following my every move. I turned around and met his chest. I looked up at him "I like them". Sam nodded, his eyes looked clouded slightly, like he was thinking hard on something. "Yeah.. I guess you could say I'm kind of… obsessed with them". I gazed at him, he finally looked down and into my eyes, that look of love, and adoration was there. "Emily.." He said my name, it dripped with sweetness and utter longing. I wrapped my arms around him, I didn't feel the need to be so reserved anymore. He put his around me, and pulled me tightly to him.

I could smell the beer on him when he kissed me, it left the taste in my mouth. He nuzzled my neck with his face and ran his hands through my hair. We stood there hugging and kissing for a few minutes before he moved backwards towards the couch and pulled me down on top of him. I knew I needed to stop this before it continued but I felt like I was glued to him. Sam's hand was on the back of my head, gently holding me there, at the same moment it seemed we pulled apart from each other. Sam moved his hand down to rest on my shoulder, "Sorry" he apologized. "I couldn't help it, I've been waiting to really see you alone for so long". I hand my hands under his shirt, his skin felt burning hot to my cool hands. Like he had a fever and didn't realize it. "It's okay…" I whispered back. It was funny to me that we were talking so low when we were so alone here. Sam rested his face on my chest as we lay there. "I'm going to be dead when I get home". I thought of my mom, she was probably pacing around while my dad sat at the kitchen table fuming. Sam frowned "I could take you home… I shouldn't have even let you sneak out like this" he said regretfully. I shook my head at him "Its not your fault. I chose to do it. It was either sneak out or them tell me I couldn't see you at all" I closed my eyes. He smelled like the woods and smoke.

Sam kissed me on the cheek and propped his self up one elbow. "I don't think anything could keep me away from you anymore". I ran hands up and down his stomach, feeling muscles I hadn't got to look at yet. He grabbed my hands and stopped them. He had his eyes closed. He let out deep breath. "I need to tell you something". he told me in a soft, shaky voice. I sat up and leaned against the arm of the couch. "Good because I want to ask you something". I had almost for about the strange things I wanted answers for. "Where do you keep going to?". We were both stretched out with him pushed against the back of the couch. He sighed and pulled his self up straight. "I don't know if you'd even believe me if I told you".

I watched him curiously "You never know unless you tell me". Sam laughed, only it wasn't his usual warm sounding one, this laugh was bitter. "I still don't believe it my self". He had a bitter, hateful look on him as he spoke "There's legends of Taha Uki and his spirit warriors, these spirit warriors were known as the protectors of the tribe, they had great strength, they were the only ones in existence like this. They had powers to do things noone could ever dream of". He looked at me, I was wondering where this story was going. "The legend tells that the burden to protect the tribe is carried on through Taha Aki's bloodline. Direct descendants inherit the power to protect the tribe and its land from their one enemy.". Sam watched my face carefully, like he was waiting me to gasp in horror. "Taha Aki and his spirit warriors had the power to shape shift themselves and fight off the cold ones. Or vampires as you know them, in their own form. Wolves.".

I wrinkled my forehead as I listened to him, I was starting to tense up as he went on, I knew something ugly was fixing to come out. "My father's father was a direct descendant. Therefore when the cold ones came near our land, it triggered the gene in me carried through the generations. As it will happen to my son, and his on and so on.". I looked at him, I thought he was crazy. He actually thought he could transform into a wolf. Sam smiled at me "You think I've gone bonkers don't you?" he laughed. "So did my mom until she saw it for herself, it scared the hell out of me when it happened the first time a few months ago." I bit my lip, maybe he had too much to drink and it was finally getting to him, "You actually expect me to believe this?". Sam shrugged at me, "Its true, when I disappear I'm phased into my other form, I can't always get back right as soon as I want to though, unless I'm calm. Otherwise, I have to stay away, in case I do something I'll regret later". Sam patted my hand "I know you don't believe it".

I had sat up straight and turned my body away from his "Why should I believe it?". I couldn't believe I was even willing to make sense of it. Sam smirked at me, 'I can prove it if you want". He reached into his pocket and pulled out a pocket knife. "One of our powers is that we heal fast". To my horror, he flipped out the blade and ran it down his own arm, barely wincing as he did so. Instinctively I grabbed the first cloth I could find and pressed it against his arm "Are you out of your mind?" I snapped at him. What had I gotten myself into? I wondered. Sam pushed my hand away from him, he shook the cloth off I had wrapped around him, it still had blood on it, but his arm was closed, no sign of any cuts, or scrapes except for a scar exactly where he had cut. I felt my heart shudder inside of me. "This is getting too weird". He laughed 'But at least you believe me now". He tossed the cloth onto the coffee table. I chewed on the inside of my lip letting everything sink in. "So you're not going out and seeing other people then?" I said shyly.

Sam guffawed at that. "I don't see other girls, not even their faces. I tell you I turn into a huge hairy beast and you worry about my dating habits". He hugged me again. "I asked Billy Black, and Harry about this… feeling I get with you" He smiled like he was remembering when he asked them. "Imprinting is what they called it. Its what their fathers had done. They imprinted on their wives. Their soul mates from the first glance." He held me tightly to his chest. "It sounds crazy too. I thought it was just another silly legend. But then I met you during the summer at Leah's. It was like… everything I felt for her wasn't there. Wasn't anywhere as strong as the compassion, the love…. The wanting I felt for you". I closed my eyes listening to him. I didn't know why but I believed every word he told me. It all made perfect sense to me now. "I told your Uncle Harry.. that's why he's not mad at me for leaving Leah the way I did, he knew there was nothing I could do even if I wanted to".

And naturally.. After you did this imprint thing on me, I felt it too?"

He nodded as he kissed my hair. "Not as strong of course.. But still there.." I had all but forgotten about going home. It was late.. Too late to be out on the road I knew. Besides it was really comfortable here in his arms. "Is the heat part of it too? You feel like a furnace" I joked. Sam chuckled "Yeah..that's why I feel hot to you and comfortable to my self, there's a lot of different things that it changed, I'm still learning. Mostly from the Tribal Elders. And they know only what their fathers passed onto them". We laid there in silence, both of us were adjusting to everything being so open.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10 Grounded from the inside

We both had fallen asleep. It was five in the morning. I went to stretch and couldn't move. Sam was weighing me down. He stirred slightly, but didn't wake. I snuggled in closer, enjoying every minute we lay there. I knew this would be the last time for a long time. I was surprised no one had came looking for me yet. Then again.. They might not think to look here. I wiggled a bit trying to get more comfortable. Sam's eyes opened half way. "Emily?" he said half asleep. I smiled at him. He looked so much younger when he was asleep. I knew now the burden he carried, the weight on his shoulders that was making him old before his time. "I'm still here" I whispered. His eyes opened completely "I'm sorry…. I should have had you back over eight hours ago". He laid still before he sat up. "I might as well stay until daylight, its not going to matter now how late I was. Just remember how nice this was while it lasted". He laughed and rubbed his eyes. "Come on.. I'll take you upstairs.. You can sleep in my bed". He stood up and pulled me up by my hands.

Sam led me up the short stairs and down the hall to the room at the end. He pushed open the door to his room. It was different than the downstairs. His room was actually… nice. He had a huge king bed with a dark blue comforter and accessories, even more surprising than the linens matching was the fact the dresser, bed, and nightstand were all one set. There weren't clothes and cds thrown everywhere either. There was a tv on the wall in front of the bed, and a guitar in the corner. He saw what I had spotted and gave me a look that meant it was off limits. I was too tired to bug him to play it anyways.

I kicked my ballet flats off and pulled the blankets back on his bed, he was grabbing a pillow and throw blanket. I climbed into the bed, it felt good to lay out without being cramped. "Make sure I'm up by at least eight". I told him as I started squirming into a little ball. His sheets even smelled good, that same woodsy smell. Sam leaned down and kissed my cheek before he turned off the light and left. I heard him as he walked down the stairs. I rolled onto my side. Last week I wouldn't have believed I would have been here, laying in Sam Uley's bed. I wouldn't have believed I would have did something this bad to make my parents mad. We'd find a way to see each other. I knew I had to keep this sleepover to myself or Leah and the rest of town really would have something to talk about, even though Sam was the perfect gentleman. He knew when to stop without me telling him to. He knew not to try and sleep in his room with me.

I dozed off, wondering what story I was going to make up when I got home. I woke up groggily, something was making too much noise. It was a banging, beating sound. I t didn't go away after I tried to ignore it and go back to sleep. It stopped suddenly as I started to get out of the warm bed. I could hear voices downstairs talking heatedly.

"But I slept on the couch and--" Sam's words were cut off by a familiar voice. "I don't care where you slept, or where she slept, the matter at hand is this, I might understand what's happening to you, but she's my niece, and I love her and you're not going to do this again". I realized who it was. Harry. My mom must have called him. I stood at the bedroom door listening hard. Sam's voice spoke again, pleadingly it seemed, "We didn't do anything wrong, we were talking and fell asleep". Harry had a good laugh at that. "That's all that better have happened here, I won't lie for you two again you hear?" his voice was stern. Sam didn't say anything for a while "I know.. It was stupid. I shouldn't have went along with it, ". Harry scoffed at him "No you shouldn't have, and if you expect me to give you my blessing on this then I suggest you go upstairs and wake her up and tell her I'm here to take her home from staying the night with Leah since she was too tired to come back home after she spent the evening on the beach with her and Seth".

So Uncle Harry was well aware of where I was. I wondered how he'd figured it out. I stepped back when I heard Sam coming up the stairs. He knocked on the door before swinging it open. I held a finger to my lips and crossed over to him. Sam jerked his head downstairs and I nodded. He looped his arms around me, getting one last moment before I had to go home and probably not see him a for while. I breathed in his woodsy scent mixed with cologne as we hugged. "Stop whatever you're doing!" Harry ordered from the foot of the stairs. I giggled, not being able to help it. Sam smiled down at me. "Just remember, call me anytime

you can ok? And you can always show up here whenever you want". He kissed me softly, not like last night at all. "I'll be close enough to know that you're here". I nodded and ran my fingers over his short closely cropped hair. "I better get down there". Harry was starting to huff a little. Sam released me and took my hand as I followed him down the stairs. My uncle looked mad. Really mad. Probably madder than I had ever saw him in my life.

Uncle Harry glared at me "Its about time someone finally laid eyes on you after looking for hours now, you're lucky I got to the phone before Leah or your Aunt Sue did". He glanced at Sam "I take it you told her?". Sam nodded. "We fell asleep talking about everything." That seemed to pacify my Uncle. "Its about time, but don't think it helps the matter at hand".

We left Sam's house and headed towards mine on the Makah reservation. Uncle Harry was telling me the cover up story he'd told my mom. I pulled my hair back into a messy pony tail. "Thank you.." I told him sincerely. "Maybe it wont be so bad when I get there, I was honestly scared to come back home.". Uncle Harry laughed "It wont that bad, I promise'. He pulled up to my house "I'll see you soon". He waved bye as I walked into the house, I was bracing myself for what was going to meet me inside. I turned the knob and walked in. I put a smile on my face as I walked in "Morning". I walked over the coffee pot and poured myself a cup. "I was worried about you" My mom said in a controlled voice, not giving any emotions away.

I sipped my coffee and swallowed "Sorry… I thought Uncle Harry had called you and told you I would just stay the night". She nodded 'He said he forgot to". She cupped her head with both hands, not looking at me "I need to ask you something". I chewed my lip, I wasn't so sure I wanted her to. "Okay". Mom didn't pick her head up as she spoke "Were you with Sam Uley last night?". I froze, I didn't know whether to tell her the truth or not. Mom finally picked her up "I thought so'. She patted the chair next to her. "We need to talk then". I nodded and walked over to the table and sat across from her. Mom sighed and stirred her coffee around "I guess I know what you're feeling right now. I only hate it for Leah." I sighed "I didn't mean for it to happen mom, neither did he," . She nodded "I know sweetie, but she doesn't. I guess as long as your happy though…" her voice trailed off. I sipped my coffee, I wasn't sure where this conversation was headed yet. "I just want to make sure you understand its not acceptable for you to stay out at all hours of the night. You're still in school, and live under our roof".

"I'm not planning on making a habit out of it, I swear". This was going smoother than the yelling I pictured earlier. Mom nodded "Good.. Because I wanted to make sure you still understood about our talks about marriage? And what goes with it?". I rolled my eyes at her, trying to keep from blushing "I didn't sleep with him if that's what you want to know". I saw relief come across her face. "I just don't want you to get into the same situation as me and your father did". She touched my hand "I want you to be able to live your life while you're young enough to do it".

I smiled at her "So does this mean I can bring him to meet you and dad?". She laughed "I guess so. Maybe you can have him over for dinner this week." I got up and put my empty cup in the sink. "I'll have to see.. He works a lot you know.. At the garage in La Push.". I yawned "He's a mechanic there, " My mom nodded, she must have already known that " I met his mother last night".

Mom raised an eyebrow "You're that serious already?" I shrugged " I guess you could say we are". I grabbed a banana, try to show her that I was done now. She waved me off, "we'll finish this up later, go get some sleep sweetheart". I told her goodnight even though it was ten in the morning now.

I made it into my room and changed into pajamas. I wasn't even sure if I could sleep anymore. I was taking it all in. My mom knew about Sam and didn't care. Sam told me his secret. I stayed the night with him. And. I realized last night that he was right. He never would be able to leave me alone, whether I accepted his love or not.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11- Cheater, Cheater

It was Sunday night and I couldn't get a hold of Sam. I'd been calling him all weekend and kept getting his machine. I knew he had to see where I'd been calling on his caller id. I'd wanted to drive to La Push to see him but both my parents needed their cars. I put the phone down and frowned to myself. He'd told me to call when I could, but it seemed to be useless and pointless if he wasn't even going to call me back.

My cousin Jade called just to talk she said. I laid around watching tv as we talked, laughing with each other. She was almost as easy to get long with as Leah had been. I was telling her about the bonfire and the talk my mom had me with, I kept chattering on for a few minutes before I realized I wasn't getting any response back from her. "What's wrong?" I asked her. It wasn't like Jade to just not answer when you were talking with her. Jade cleared her throat "I hate to tell you this Emily…. But I think Sam and Leah got back together". I looked at the phone "They wouldn't… Sam wouldn't take her back." I felt like I was really telling that to myself instead of her. Jade sighed "Well I saw them together at the park yesterday". My throat got dry 'I need to go. I think mom's home" I hung up without even saying good bye to her. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. _How could he?! _. I believed Jade. She wouldn't lie to me. I didn't think she would anyways. Hopefully she wasn't going to choose sides in this ridiculous fight with me and Leah.

It explained why he wouldn't answer my calls. Leah. I felt a surge of anger. Why couldn't she just bow out gracefully from this? I wiped the corners of my eyes with my shirt. If he didn't have to the guts to answer my phone calls and tell me then I would make him say it in person. He knew I was with him now only because he had kept persisting me. If he didn't want me then he should have told me the other night. I knew that Leah would take him back in a heartbeat. Not only to make herself happy, but to upset me like I had her. Leah was vengeful.

By the time my dad had got home I got dressed and talked him out of his keys easily. I left after promising him I would be back by ten at least. He still hadn't forgot the last time I went to La Push. The drive to La Push was a rushed one. I knew I might drive down here and find something I didn't want to see. It was just a risk I was willing to take. I was speeding at 80. I kept thinking about the idea of him being with Leah, even though he was hers first, he was mine now. I had never felt this jealous in my life. I had never felt like this before either. Not as.. Obsessive and love like. I had an actual claim to this man now. I didn't care anymore if it hurt Leah so terribly to see me with him. She would learn to live with it over time. I couldn't stay away from him again. I drove without really paying attention to where I was going. It was raining outside and the roads were slick, but I didn't even care about that. I entered the city limits and slowed some, I was looking left to right for any sign of him at any of the hangouts in town. No luck so far.

I passed the garage he worked at slowly, his truck wasn't there. I sped up, next stop would be at his house. I turned left and headed for the one car, dirt road with the dead end sign. I drove to the end of it, and stopped at his house. His truck was parked outside. I got and slammed my car door hard. I was walking on the porch when his door swung open. Sam was standing there shirtless. He made a move to hug me "Hey sweetie". I shoved him hard away from me. He looked at me surprised "Did I do something?" his eyebrows furrowed together. I stepped into his house and looked around the living room. Leah wasn't here. I whirled around "Do you think I'm stupid or something?" I snapped at him. Sam had a bewildered expression on his face. "What are you talking about?". I rolled my eyes at him "Did you think I wouldn't notice you didn't answer my calls or return them and then be seen with Leah?". I glared at him, anger was boiling inside of me like it hadn't ever before.

Sam grabbed my wrist and held me still from pacing back and forth. "My phone fell in kitchen sink. I just haven't had time to go get one yet. I thought I'd call you later tonight from my mom's house, and I wasn't seen with Leah". I peeled his hands off of me. "That's not what everyone else is saying". Sam shook his head at me "Believe what you want Em, but I swear I'm not with Leah, nor will I ever be again." I laughed harshly at him "No you won't. you've moved onto a new victim and I was stupid enough to go along with it'. Sam's face turned into a face I didn't see before now. He was getting mad. I kept going just to make him madder. Let him see how it felt to be on the other side of it. "Stop it" he ordered me. I rolled my eyes again at him "Stop what? Reminding you of her? Its her that you want isn't it? Why else does it bother you when I talk about her?". Sam was turning red now. "I don't. want. Her." he said in a strained voice.

"She'd told me you guys were getting back together remember? Maybe she was telling me the truth all along. Or did you just have over for a completely different type of sleep over than what we had?". I was waving my hands in the air with emotion as I yelled at him. "That's probably all you want from her anyways. To sleep with her". I paused and took a breath in before I started again on him "You've been going to see her instead of me, you love her still". I let out my deep breath to keep my own emotions in check. "You still love her, you still want to be with her, and she hates you now because of me. You deserve it. I know you're lying to me about seeing her." I could feel adrenaline pumping through my veins. It felt good to really say this to him. 'I trusted you, I thought you wanted to be with me. I can't trust anything you tell me because you'll never be just mine. I don't want you anymore"

I was pacing back and forth again "You're such a liar. You were just going to use me. Like some kind of sick, twisted, joke." I kicked at a shirt that on the floor. "I don't know why she took you back. You hurt her one time. All you know how to is cause pain to everyone you come into contact with". I kept waiting for a response out of him.

Sam wasn't saying anything back to me anymore just, taking deep breaths. This was almost to easy to do. "You're a terrible person. You ripped my family apart. Just to leave me for Leah again. For your precious Leah," I scoffed. "I hate you for this!" I burst out. At the same moment I told him I hated him he lost control.

I didn't realize what was happening until seconds later. In the blink of an eye Sam wasn't Sam anymore. He was a big, jet black, wolf that swung its paw out at me and hit my face. I blanked it all out. The pain was blinding. I felt myself getting light headed, I grasped the back of the couch. I didn't know what happened to me but it was bad. Really bad. I felt something dripping down my face and the side of my body. I couldn't see right. The room spinning around me. The black wolf was howling and going crazy. I opened my mouth to speak and nothing came out of it.

I let go of the couch to go towards the door and staggered and fell down. I was getting weaker by the second. I started trying to drag myself to the door inch by inch. I didn't even know if I was really moving or thought I was. I didn't even know if I was crawling the right direction. The wolf came closer to me, I shrank back, I was terrified. I didn't it to get near me again.

Finally I made it through the doorway, I was only using one arm to pull with now. For some reason I couldn't move the other. The little bit I could make out of the yard was getting fuzzy. I felt a wave of nausea sweep over me, along with a a dark haze that was fogging my limited vision. I needed to stop moving for just one moment. Just a moment to rest and I'd start crawling again. I crumpled into a ball and lay there on the grass. Everything went dark.

A/N-- Im looking for good fanfic. doesn't really matter on the pairing, just something… fluffy lol. Thanks for reading and reviewing!!


	12. Chapter 12

Hey guys, sorry I didnt reply to my reviewers like normal. this website being down has been driving me crazy, anyways hope you enjoy !! REVIEW!!

Chapter 12- All Apologies

I felt groggy when I woke up, my head was killing me. I started to open my eyes and realized something was wrong. My hands flew up my face. I had a bandage covering half of it. I looked with my one eye at my right hand. It had a bandage on it too. I started to sit up when I heard my mom's familiar voice say softly "Just lay back, It's easier if you lay back Emily, don't try and move a lot yet". I turned my head in the direction her voice came from. Mom was sitting in a chair by the window. She smiled at me "I'm glad you woke up". Her smile was sad though. I kept one hand on my face "What happened to me?" I asked her in a small voice. I didn't remember. All I could recall was yelling at Sam. I felt my heart sink.

Mom got up and came to stand by my bed, she touched my hair lovingly, 'You had an accident remember?" Without waiting for me to answer she said in a fronted voice "You were at Sam's house, you were on your way to his door and a bear came out of the woods". She paused and swallowed hard. "When you tried to run inside the house, it got angry and chased you. Sam didn't have time to do anything other than run to help you after it clawed you". I took it all in. That's not what I remembered exactly. "I think I remember it now" I murmured. "How long have I been here?". I was looking at my hand, all the way up my arm at the bandages that followed up to my face. I could feel the pull of stitches in the corner of my eye lid and the tug of them on my mouth. It hurt to talk. I closed my eyes.

"Three days" Mom replied. She touched my good hand "I need to tell you something else too.." She cleared her throat. "Doctor Cullen said even with plastic surgery you'll have scarring severely". I let the news sink in. I would be hideous. I would be scarred so bad I would look like a monster. I felt tears welling up. Mom squeezed my hand tightly. 'If you want the surgeries, we'll have them done. Its your choice'. She let go. "He's been keeping you on strong medicine so you wouldn't have to feel the cuts, but we needed to make a decision on this soon so he took you off, I wanted it to be your choice." I shook my head as best I could. I didn't want to think about surgeries. This was a nightmare. It had to be. I couldn't be like this. Noone would want me. People would stare at me. I choked back a sob. I felt her climb onto the bed beside me "Shh… its ok Emily. I know you're scared sweetheart.' She rubbed my back. "It's going to work out just fine. You're going to be all right". I cried as she comforted me. My body shook with the sobs. After a few minutes, I quieted down but still sniffled. Mom slid off the side of my bed "I've got to go call your dad and let him know you're up". I nodded and she disappeared out the door.

I wouldn't look the same again. I wouldn't be able to smile like I used to. I had caused this disfiguration on myself I knew. I should have stopped yelling at him when he told me to. I didn't know he would phase like that if I pushed him too far. Because of my jealousy and anger, I had paid a high price. I was laying there wallowing in pity when I heard a knock. I turned my head to the door just as Leah stepped into my room. I turned back away from her. "Um.. Hi.." Leah said uncomfortably. I didn't even attempt to smile. "I just thought Id come see how you are". She avoided looking at me. In a hoarse voice I said quietly "I'll be okay. Not for a while but I will be ". Leah nodded, she finally looked straight at me. "I'm sorry". Her words meant more than just being sorry for my accident. I held out an arm for her and she was at my side in a flash, hugging me and crying. "I'm sorry for what I did' she sniffed. " I'm sorry I tried to get back at you when you didn't do anything wrong". I hugged my cousin. "Don't be so sorry. I should have handled it differently". Leah shook her head as she blew her nose "You didn't do anything wrong". She pulled the chair closer to my bed and say there, just holding my hand.

I knew only too well that this could have easily been Leah in this hospital bed with bandages. I was happy for her sake that it wasn't. Leah wouldn't have been able to have handled this. She was too vain, but I could learn to deal with it in time. I was dozing off to Leah's talking. Leah nudged me "Don't fall asleep so fast.. Its been a month since we talked". I nodded my head "Sorry.. Leah.. I want to tell you something". I took in a breath and let it out "He still loves you you know.. I think he always will love you, he might be mine now, but you were his first". Leah sighed "I don't want to talk about it anymore". I didn't say anything back, just laid back into the pillows again.

My mom knocked on the open door as she came in "I'm back Em." She was carrying a Star Bucks cup. She leaned down and hugged Leah's neck and mouthed thank you to her. I wondered if Leah had been put up to come visit me. "Is that for me?" I reached for the latte. Mom pulled her hand back, out of my reach "I'm sorry honey.. Dr. Cullen said you cant have any solids or unapproved liquids until he gives the ok." I frowned at her, she was going to drink it in front of me. Leah whispered in my ear "I'll bring you a milkshake back". She stood up and stretched. "I need to run back home, I got some stuff to take care of, I'll be back though". She hugged me before she left.

I felt the side of my mouth, it was ripped open basically. Mom got a blanket and settled into her chair by my bed and got out a magazine. Now that she was back I could ask her what I really wanted to know. "Mom?'. She didn't even look up from what she was reading. "hmm?" she murmured. "Has Sam came by to see me?" I asked her in a small voice. She closed the magazine. "No. He hasn't came once, he hasn't saw you since he drove you to the hospital. He was so upset by everything your Uncle Harry had to pull him out.". My head started hurting again. "Has anyone else saw him?". I hoped he hadn't lost control so bad he'd disappear like he had before we were even together. I remembered all too well how Leah worried where he was at. My mom shook her head "No. Now that you mention that, someone told Harry they thought he was missing work because he was here with you the whole time". My head pounded now, "I want to see him if he comes, I don't care if he wakes me". Mom nodded her head and stroked my left arm. "If he comes by I will, I still haven't got to thank him for saving your life like he did". I smiled on the inside. Everyone thought he saved me from a bear. They'd never know the truth about what had happened expect for maybe my uncle.

I wanted to apologize to him. It was my fault this had happened. I shouldn't have yelled at him, accused him. He told me to stop but I wouldn't listen to him, I just pushed Sam further and further. I'd rather hurt him than risk being hurt by him. My own stupidity was displayed for everyone to see. I heard a knock and turned my head. Dr. Cullen was smiling as he came towards my bed. "Hello young lady, I've been waiting for you wake up for a few days now". He was feeling my wrist, making notes. He pulled back part of the bandage covering my cheek and then taped it back. I didn't say anything, just stared at him. He was unbelievably good looking.

"Now then, before I give you more pain medicine I want to ask you a few things.". He looked down at his clip board. "I need to know as soon as possible about the surgeries…" I cut him off there "There won't be any surgeries". I gave him a look that dared him to talk me out of it. Dr. Cullen only nodded. "I understand". He put the board under his arm. "You should be able to go back home in a few days, I'd rather keep you here until then to make sure that no infection occurs.". He gave me a sad smile "I'm afraid there wasn't much I could do about the scar tissue you'll have". I shrugged as best I could. "I 'll be fine". I had to put on a brave face. "The cuts were very intensive, you were a very lucky girl to get out of the situation as you did". He gave me another nod and walked out of the room.

It was almost like he suspected the truth. Like he could tell what had happened to me. My mom brushed my hair back "Get some sleep honey". The nurse was injecting something into my iv. I was tired. My mouth hurt from talking so much and my eye hurt from straining to see. I started to get fuzzy as I drifted off as the pain medicine hit my veins.

The next morning I woke up hazily. I could hear the birds outside chirping. It was almost a nice day. I pulled myself up and realized I was alone. My mom must have went home to shower and stuff. I hit the button for the nurse to get something to drink. My mouth felt like cotton balls were stuffed in it while I slept. The young nurse gave me a friendly smile "There's a young man in the waiting room, been here since six this morning waiting for you to get up". She winked at me "He's not bad looking either". Sam must have finally came. I brightened "Could you get him for me?". She nodded and glided out of the door, happy to talk to the handsome, muscly man outside.

I knew I looked horrible. My hair was a greasy, tangled mess. I hadn't got to look in a mirror at all and I had these bandages everywhere. I tried to pat my hair down before he came in the room. I saw him as soon as he came down the hallway. Sam looked even worse than I did. His black hair stuck up at odd angles and his clothes looked like he'd slept in them for days. He had a slight stubble growing on his chin. Sam looked at me, his face expressionless except for the pain showing in his dark eyes.

I moved over and pointed to the chair beside me "We should talk". He nodded and sat down. Sam looked at me, from the hairline to the tip of my fingers. "I am so sorry". He wiped at his eyes. "This is my fault. I should have known better. I should kept a better check on myself.". I opened my mouth and he shook his head at me and continued "They told me this would happen. They told me that I would lose control and do this to you. I didn't listen. I had to with you, I thought I could control myself with you". Sam stood up and paced back and forth in front of my bed. I sat there listening to him. "I'll never forgive myself for this. Ever. ". I saw a chance to speak and took it "No. I should listened to you when you told me to stop. I kept pushing you and pushing you to your breaking point." I motioned for him to come closer to me. He took my undamaged hand in his. "I kept on and on about Leah. I accused you of things I knew weren't true after I said them". Sam face took on a serious expression "I still should have been able to control it Emily. I just couldn't take hearing you say you hated me". He seemed to shiver a little at the memory. "It hurt me so bad to hear those words come from your mouth. Anyone but you and I could have kept calm".

"I won't do it again". I promised. "I didn't mean it when I said it, you have to know that". I hoped he did at least. If there was anyone in this world I hated it certainly was not Sam Uley. The complete opposite of hatred is what I felt. "I knew to quit when I saw what it did to mention Leah in front of you". Sam looked away from me. "I don't want to talk about her ever". I nodded. It was true what I accused him of. He loved her still. "Fine". Sam kissed my hand softly, "I understand if you do hate me now,". I couldn't help but smile at him "I don't. I'm happy this was all that happened. I'm happy that only my face was scratched, it could have been worse". Sam grimaced "That's just it. It could have been worse. I could have killed you and not realized it until it was too late. I'm not safe. I'm a monster".

"You're not a monster.' I comforted him. "I'll be fine. This won't change anything for me". Sam leaned over and rested his head beside mine, so that we were face to face, inches apart. "This didn't change my feelings Sam". I paused, and realized it might have changed his though. I was ugly. He wouldn't want me now. Sam picked up on why I stopped talking to him "It doesn't change for me either". I felt relieved. He might just be saying that to keep me from being so upset in the hospital though. I moved over in my bed and pulled on him to lay beside me. He obeyed and wrapped an arm on me. "I still don't know how I'm going to make sure I keep myself in check yet". I laid my head on his chest "We'll figure out something".

Sam placed a hand on the unmarred side of my face "I don't want you to be scared of me, to be worried that anything you say or do will set me off again". I knew it was going to take a long time for him to forget this. "I'm not scared of you". I was whispering now. I'd been talking too much. My mouth hurt in the corner. Sam ran his finger tips along my bandages, "I just want you to know you can change your mind at any time". I nodded and rested my head on his shoulder again. "I wont".


	13. Chapter 13

Hey guys... Im trying to update daily now,hope you like it, and leave me a review with some of your own favorites, or your own work, I need something to read lol.

Chapter 13-- Keep moving on

It was Friday morning the next week and I was being wheeled out of the county hospital. I finally got to go home today. My mom was pulling the car around while Sam pushed me out. It was like they were trying to out do each other with who could show me the most affection. "I could walk" I grumbled. I felt like a child being wheeled around. Sam smiled down at me "You might fall if you walk, you're still on a lot of medication". I glowered at him, making him grin.

Sam literally picked me up and placed me in my mom's car and started buckling me in until I popped his hand away. "I can do that". I snapped at him. Instantly I was sorry for it. Sam held his hands up "Sorry, just trying to make everything easier on you". My mom turned around in the drivers seat "Sam, are you following us back?" she asked him. He shook his head at her. "I gotta get to work. Larry's been really nice about letting me come and go as I please lately". Sam leaned down to my eye level and looked at me with those intense eyes. I'd never get used to that. "I'll see you later tonight ok?" He kissed my ruined mouth. I couldn't kiss him back if I even wanted to. "Don't forget" I whispered to him. He nodded and kissed me again. My mom coughed in the front, making us both smile and blush. Sam shut my door and backed off as we drove away. He waved until I couldn't see him any longer.

The ride home was terrible. It was uncomfortable to have to sit up right in the car. I'd got used to laying flat and still. My mom looked at me in the rearview mirror "Sam's such a good guy. Well man" she corrected herself. "He had offered to bring you home but I got the day off'. She was driving slowly, not wanting to jostle me. I was sore and bruised still. I had until Monday for the bandages to come off to see what I would look like and we'd make the trip back to La Push. We didn't have a hospital at our reservation. Sam expressed his feelings on my choice to use Dr. Cullen very vividly. He didn't trust him and was convinced that Dr. Cullen could have did more for me.

Half an hour later we made it to our house. My dad came outside hurriedly to help me get out and get the bags. He hugged me tightly "I was starting to wonder if they'd decided to keep you". He took my arm and gently started helping me closer to the porch steps. I could walk if everyone would just leave me alone. Since I woke up it seemed everyone and everything was driving me crazy. I was plain irritable. Sam choosing to go to work irritated me even more. I wanted him here with me. I headed for the couch and let myself flop down on top of it. My parents looked at each other worriedly. "Don't worry I'll go to my room later". My mom grabbed the throw blanket off the back of the couch and covered me with it. "Do you need your medicine?'. I guessed she was gonna fret over me all night. "No.. I'm fine without it. It makes me sleepy and I want to be up when Sam comes".

My mom sighed as she handed me the remote "You can't just lay there and wait for him all the time". She gave me a pillow to put under my head. I pushed it under me. "Its not like I get to go back to school". The principal had arranged for me to graduate as normal if I wrote a six page paper for each class in place of the final exams. That was fine with me. I didn't know if I was ready for people outside of my family to see me yet. I hadn't even adjusted to the marks that covered me. I'd saw glimpses of them while they changed my bandages. They were almost healed now though.

My dad settled into the recliner beside the couch and watched tv without saying much to me. We sat in silence, listening to my mom make dinner. I shrank back into the cushions. I didn't hurt much anymore but I was still tired. I knew as soon as I would drift off though that Sam would come. I had waited anxiously for him every evening at the hospital. My mom seemed to warm up to him almost instantly after seeing the affect he had on me. I remembered her telling me she'd noticed the way he watched me. Like he was happy and content just to see me sleep or watch tv.

I was in my own thoughts when I heard a knock at the door. I started to get up from the couch but my dad gave me a look and I settled back down. He went to the door, I heard him greeting Sam, my dad wandered back in. I heard Sam call out a hello to my mom before coming into the living room. This was the first time he'd ever actually been inside my house. He seemed so at ease though. Sam sank down beside "Glad to see you waited up for me" he joked. I moved closer to him and hugged him tightly. "I figured it was worth it." Sam nodded his head and looked around, taking in the appearance of everything. I hadn't noticed until now how.. Uptight my house was. Like it was decorated from Kirkland's or something.

My dad glanced over at us, he got a funny look on his face. Sam shifted slightly and moved a little bit away from me. My mom came out from the kitchen, drying her hands on a dish towel. "Everything's ready if you want something Sam". Dad got up immediately and went to the kitchen. Sam smiled at my mom gratefully "Thanks.. I'll get it in just a minute. I don't think I can get up if I even tried to right now'. Mom laughed "Well you must be getting tired, between work and Emily." She glanced downwards at me "Do you think you could eat Em?". Dr. Cullen told me I could eat solidly as long as I felt okay doing it. The stitches were halfway dissolved in my mouth already but it was like learning a while new way of everything. I shrugged "I'll get something when Sam does". She shook her head at us both. "You both need to eat something real." she chastised us. Sam flashed her his smile, his white teeth gleaming "Give us five and we'll both get up and go to the table'. She accepted that it seemed and walked off back to the kitchen.

As soon as she was gone, I moved back towards him "Well?". Sam smirked at me "Well what?" he said back softly. I leaned against him "Did you really go to work?". He didn't smell like grease like he usually did. Sam shook his head at me "I'll tell you later:. He whispered. I nodded and grasped his hand "Come on.. I know you're starving". Shakily I got up from the couch and pulled him into the small kitchen. Sam was still looking around at everything as I drug him. My mom started to get up from her spot but I waved her off. "Sit" I told him as I started getting a little bit of everything for him. I knew he had to be tired from everything he tried to keep track off. I carried his plate over to him and sat it down. I didn't get myself anything but just sat there by him.

After everyone was finished I got up and started helping clear away the table. I had a sudden burst of energy that hadn't been there before. My mom took the stack of plates from me "I'll do this, " she said sternly. "You're not supposed to move a lot just yet.". I nodded and washed my hands off, or hand rather. Sam was back in the living room watching the game with my dad. I stood there in the doorway, listening to them talk about who was the better team. Sam glanced at me, then did a double take and looked again. He flashed me a grin, I gave him a pointed look. He got up off the couch slowly and stretched. I watched his stomach flex as he bent his back. Sam and my dad exchanged a couple more quips before he followed me up the stairs close behind in case I got weak I guess. I led him into my room and shut the door behind us. My mom could yell at me later.

"Nice room" Sam joked in a playful tone. I laid down on the edge of my bed. "This is the first time we've got to talk in private since before…". He nodded and picked up a picture and looked at it and put it back down again. "I know.". I patted the bed beside me. Sam slid down by me "What's on your mind sweetie?". He traced a pattern on my arm. "You've been kind of funny since you left the hospital.". I pulled him to lay by me and looked him square in the eye "Are you going to be ashamed to seen with me?'. It came out bluntly. Sam sat back up 'What?! Of course I won't be ashamed be to seen with you.. What in the world gave you that idea?". He frowned at me, like I'd lost my mind. "You didn't bring me back though.. You left to go to work…" my voice trailed off. Sam leaned down, even laying on our sides he was still looking down at me, "I left because I had a meeting with the Council". He sighed as he pulled me closer to him, being careful not touch my bandages. "They felt like we needed to have a talk after this…" He rolled his eyes. "I wasn't technically supposed to be seeing you, not until I was absolutely sure I'd be fine around you, no one is sure how this imprinting thing works though, so they don't understand the pull, the way that I'm bound to you". I pushed myself close to him, feeling his body heat radiate "I guess I won't have to worry about you up and disappearing for days at a time then". He laughed 'Even when I did go away like everyone thought while you were in the hospital I wasn't really away from you, I was just watching from a distance". I nodded my head, or bobbed it up rather "I thought you were, but I couldn't be sure.".

Sam ran his long fingers through my hair, "Your parents must really trust us". He glanced at the clock "Half an hour and noone's came up to check on us". I smirked at him "Or maybe they know there's no reason to come check on us". I moved my cool hands under his shirt and on his back. Sam stared down at me "How old are you exactly anyways?". It never occurred to me we didn't know all the basics about each other. "How old are you?" I asked back slowly. Sam smiled grimly "Technically I'm only nineteen, but I'm physically about… 25. 26 maybe". He definitely looked it. Sam was huge. "What about you?" He nudged me. "Seventeen, not that big of a difference really". Sam kissed my forehead "I'll be twenty in three months". He sounded regretful about it. "So.. Only two years then". He nodded his head and laid back and closed his eyes. "Are you still going to graduation?". I shrugged my shoulders carelessly. "I don't know. Probably not". He opened his eyes and glared at me "You should. It's a once in a lifetime experience." I giggled "You sound like an old man".

I was watching his chest rise and fall as he took deep breaths "I am an old man by now. I work day and night". Sam let his hand rest on my back as he spoke "I'm still working at the garage, running the grounds at night, working on my house during the time between work, and making time for you too". I felt sympathetic for him. "You don't sleep?" He shook his head no. "Not a whole lot anyways". That explained the tired look he had, the yawning. "You don't sleep so well yourself" he added. "I've seen your light go on in the middle of the night'. I glanced at him "You spy on me?".

"Not in so many words. I just make a loop around here, don't worry I don't stare inside or anything," There was humor in his voice. "In a couple of months I won't be here for you to stare at every night". I was still planning on going to school. Sam sat up straight "Why not?" he asked cautiously. I sat up too, being careful as I spoke so I wouldn't provoke anything. "I have to go to school Sam, I can't just stay here with my parents for the rest of my life". I frowned at him. Surely he didn't honestly think I would. Sam got up and moved away from me, I could have sworn I saw him quiver as he moved. "I thought you would." He paced around "I guess I just assumed that now.. That now you would just find a job nearby or something,". I wasn't quite ready to make this decision yet. "I could, I suppose. But no one will hire me". Sam stopped "Why wouldn't they?"

"I'm not exactly going to be wonderful to look at". There was it again, my ruined face getting in the way. Sam crossed his arms over himself "So basically you're saying, you either have to go to school, or stay here and get a job that you won't feel comfortable at?" He bristled, he had stopped quivering. I motioned down below us "Its not my rules." It would break my mothers heart for me to turn down going to school to do what I wanted to for so long. Sam crossed towards me and suddenly had a tight hug wrapped around me. "What if you're not under their roof?". I stared at his chest, confused. "I don't see how to avoid it". Sam smiled slyly "I do. I have a house remember". I pushed him away from me, shaking my head at him "No. no, and no".

He gave me a hurt look, he thought I was rejecting him not his not so brilliant idea. "I can't live with you,. They'd kill me". My dad would literally have a heart attack. My mom would give me talk after talk after talk. Sam still had that look on his face. "I could move back out.' he stated. I rolled my eyes "You can't move out of your own house Sam," I wondered if he was really that desperate to keep me near him. "Why not? You could live there, and I could stay with my mom or one of my cousins or something, I'll fix it up for you". He was trying to persuade me. I gave him a warning look. "No. We'll just have to see what happens". Sam grabbed my wrists and pulled me back to him. "I should get going, its late". It was already eleven. I knew my mom was probably sitting in the living room, waiting to make sure he did leave.

Sam squeezed me into an embrace, I could feel his hot hands sliding on my back and pulling me against him, as he kissed me on my ruined mouth. I just stood there, holding onto him. I couldn't exactly kiss him back yet. He kissed my cheek and my jaw and stopped there, breathing into my ear. "You should stop" I whispered to him. I didn't quite trust myself with him. He nodded his head but didn't release his grip on me. "I don't want to go" he whispered back. I heard a creak of the floorboards on the staircase. Mom must be wondering why we got so quiet. "She's listening to us" I whispered to him. Sam looked at the door and whispered back "I probably wouldn't trust me with my daughter alone for too long either" he grinned as he said it. I rolled my eyes at him "Can you come back soon?". Sam kissed my hair "Probably. I'll call you and let you know. I might have to sneak off from the res". I leaned on him "I could come down there, but I won't be able to drive for a few more days". We both heard the sharp knock at the same time and sprung apart. I knew we looked guilty as we stood there innocently. My mom eyed us 'It's getting late". Sam nodded "I was on my way out". He threw me a sad look as he walked out. I trailed after him like a puppy to the door. "Don't forget" I mouthed to him. He blew me a kiss as he got in the truck. I hoped it wouldn't be more than a couple of days before I could see him. It wasn't the same knowing he saw me but I didn't see him. He waved bye as he drove off. I watched him until he disappeared and went back inside and shut the door quietly.

"Emily.." My mom's voice called out warningly. She walked in from the kitchen in her pajamas. "I don't like you two being up there closed up alone". She gave me a look. "I trust you but I'm not so sure about him. Not after what Sue went through with him and Leah". Ah, Leah. She never came back to see me again after that one day. There was still hope though. I pointed at my arm and face "Can't you just be happy he even still wants me?" I knew that would stab at her. "Anyone else would have walked away". My mom sighed as she turned off the lamps and tv, "I know sweetheart, I know. I'm just saying next time stay down here. Or leave the door open at least." I stopped walking dead in front of her and turned around "I'm not a child you know" I snapped at her, the irritable mood was coming back again. I was sick of being treated like a child and prisoner in my own home. "I do know how to make sensible decisions" My mom stared at me a moment, not sure of how to react to my out burst. "I think you need to go to bed before this goes much further.' I glared at her "I'm just asking to be treated like an adult. I'll be one in four weeks you know"

"I know and in four weeks you'll be treated like one. For now, you're going to be treated like the child you're acting like". I realized then how childish I really was acting . I didn't let on to her though. I followed mom upstairs. "Sorry" I mumbled. She didn't answer me back just went to her room and shut the door. I went to mine and shut it behind me and flopped down on the bed. I was miserable so I was making everyone else around me feel the same way. If I go to school, Sam won't be able to stand it. If I stay home, I have to find a job where I'll be able to handle all the stares plus deal with my mom and my dads disappointment. Not to mention find a place to live if they were so upset they threw me out. I'm sick of being treated like a child by her. She acts like I'm so stupid I'll just jump into bed with anyone, and throw away any decent decision making I possess . I reached up and rubbed my temples, everything seemed to happen too fast lately.


	14. Chapter 14

Im putting up two new chapters tonight to try and get you guys to the lemons you've been asking for lol. I'd like to say thanks to crazyapril for not getting too mad that I'm observing her crazy little ways at work and importing them into my story. keep reading!! REVIEW!!

Chapter 14 Choices

It had been a week since I saw Sam face to face. He'd been too busy to have time to drive up and see me. I had a feeling he was seeing me from afar though. I glanced out my window several times at night hoping to catch a glimpse of the giant black wolf in the trees. My mom took the day off of work to drive me to La Push. It was time to uncover my cuts. I was nervous about it. I already had an idea of what I would like without them on but I was still hoping some sort of miracle happened.

We passed by the familiar garage, I spotted Sam's truck parked outside. So he really was working. I felt satisfied with knowing that. I still got the feeling that he held back from the truth with me at times. I knew better than to even bring it up to him though. I was still wary on pushing Sam's temper again. We pulled up in front of the small hospital and got out. On the way in I was bracing myself for the big reveal. As we took our seats in the waiting room, I felt like everyone in there was staring at me. During one of Sue's pretend caring phone calls she'd mentioned to my mom that everyone in La Push was talking about the accident. I almost laughed thinking about it. They weren't talking about the accident, they were talking about me stealing Sam from Leah.

"Ms. Young?" a nurse's voice called out from the door. I jumped up, motioning for my mom to come with me. We walked into the small office and sat down and waited for Dr. Cullen to come in. My mom was looking even more nervous than I was. The door finally opened and he came in all smiles as he pulled the stool up closer to the table. "How's everything?" He asked me pleasantly. I just nodded my head at him. Dr. Cullen turned serious as he put gloves on and started gently pulling back the wraps. I heard my mom gasp as he pulled down the longer part of them. I held still until he was finished. "Well?" I asked nervously. Dr. Cullen didn't say anything as he wiped my face and arm off. I glanced down at my arm and hand and froze. It was still a vicious ugly red. I touched my face. "Still as beautiful as you were". He tried to reassure me. My mom's eyes were brimming with tears. I knew Dr. Cullen was lying. I stood up off of the table and put on my brave front. "I'm ready". My mom got up, "You don't want to see…..?" I shook my head "No. I'll see them every day won't I?". I could have sworn I saw Dr. Cullen smile out of the corner of my eye. I walked down the hallway, readying myself. As I rounded the corner I crossed my arms on front of me. My mom was trailing behind me. The woman at the desk stared at me as I passed by her. "That poor child" I heard one woman mutter to the other. I would not cry in front of anyone. I promised myself.

As soon as we were in the car I pulled down the mirror and looked. It wasn't that bad. Not really. I would look better after the stitches dissolved in the corner of my eye and mouth. Make up might hide some of the scarring. I couldn't dwell on this forever. I'd cry over it until I got used to the stares and whispers. My mom started the car and started leaving "If you change your mind about the other surgeries, it's ok Emily". I glared at her "I won't change my mind." Now my mom thought I was hideous too. "Can you stop me to see Sam?" I asked her in a hopeful voice. She gave me a look "Are you sure?". I nodded at her. I wanted to see him and knowing I was so close was torture.

She pulled into the garage parking lot, she hadn't even slowed down all the way before I hopped out. I pulled down on my skirt as I walked towards the pit I was sure he was working in. I pushed my hair towards the front and held it over my face. I heard one of the guys call out "Sam! Visitor!". So they knew who I was. I kept my head down as I waited for him. The guys that were working all said hey in mumbles and didn't look at me. Finally Sam came up from below a car. He looked around until he saw me. His face brightened automatically. He grabbed me into a tight hug. "I thought it was you". He squeezed me until I could hardly breath. "I hadn't saw you in a few days.. I didn't think you'd care if I stopped by for a moment".

Sam went to brush my hair back from my face and paused as he saw the white coverings were gone. "Oh. You didn't tell me it was today". I finally picked my head up and tilted it back. All at once it seemed everyone he worked with got busy and quit watching us. Sam touched my face gently "You want to just hang out for an hour until I get off?" His eyes were pleading as he asked. I looked down and moved my hair back over my face "Let me go tell my mom" I turned and walked back out, I could feel his eyes on me as I leaned down to talk to my mom "I think I'll just hang out here for a little bit. Sam said he'd bring me back later". My mom got that worried look again. "Did he see…?". I rolled my eyes "Yes he saw it. " I stood up and backed away from her "I won't be late". She shook her head, she knew she was fighting a losing battle if she even tried to take me back home.

I walked back inside, Sam was scribbling on some papers. "The warden let you out on good behavior?" He said with a smirk. I shrugged "She didn't exactly have much of a choice to". He pointed to a chair "You can sit there, I'll be done a little bit". I obediently went and sat down. I picked up one of the old car magazines that was laying there. I flipped through it, not even looking at the pages. I crossed my legs, and threw the book back down. I looked around me, it was pretty filthy in here. Grease covered everything it seemed. At least Sam wasn't so ashamed of me that he would rather have I went home. I sat in in bored silence, listening to the others chatter to each other, every now and then I could hear Sam's deep laugh. After forever it seemed Sam walked over to me, wiping his filthy hands off on a even dirtier rag. "Ready?" He asked me, he looked down at me with a warm smile. I jumped up and grabbed my purse, eager to get out of here.

I hopped into the passenger side of the familiar truck. I left the window, my long hair was blowing in the wind. It was starting to warm up finally. It still rained almost everyday though. "We gotta go to my house first, I need a bath" He said with a laugh. Ok, well if he was going to mention it neither was I, I decided. "That's fine" I said over the music. We roared down the roads to his small, dull house in the middle of nowhere. "I'm glad you came by, I was gonna see if I could come over tonight, I just haven't had the time to do much lately". I shrugged "It's fine, I understand".

As we drove down the main road to get to his dirt one, I noticed most the adults, and elder tribe members waved to Sam as he passed. I smirked at him "I don't know what you've done to make them like you so much". Sam laughed "I'm a good guy easy". He flashed me an almost wolfish grin. "They think I'm doing wonders for the tribe. Scaring off the wrong doers from their children, helping Old Quil around," He laughed again "They'd be terrified if they really knew". I couldn't help but smile back at him, it was kind of funny that these people encouraged him to be the resident peacekeeper and good deed doer on the rez when he actually was the scariest member of the tribe. We turned into his driveway and rolled to a stop in front of the house. It looked better than the last time I'd been over. He must have painted it.

Sam grinned at me as we headed inside "I know, it looks better, I put the shutters up". He unlocked the door clumsily and let me in first. He flipped the lights on. He had done some work on the inside too. The walls were freshly painted and someone had obviously hung pictures up for him. There was some area rugs layed down on the wooden floorboards. "You want anything to drink?' I shook my head at him "No thanks, I'm fine". I sat down on his couch while he walked around grabbing stuff to take up with him to shower. He was standing on the back side of the couch behind me "You can come up you know, you watch tv or something in my room," For a moment there I had almost panicked. I pulled myself up and followed him up the stairs, Sam had already pulled off his shirt. He was perfect, I decided.

Sam flipped the lights on in his room and pointed at some books in a stack on his dresser "You can go through those if you get bored, I won't be long" I picked one up gingerly. It was an old book of Quileute legends that someone had scribbled by hand, only it was partially faded. I started reading, only vaguely aware of the running shower. I furrowed my eyebrows. It was kind of frustrating. I could only make out half of what I wanted to see. I flipped through looking for the legible pieces. I put it down and leaned back on his bed. He'd done some moving around in here too. It didn't look as bachelorish now. I glanced at a pile of shredded clothes and shook my head. Must have lost his temper. I heard the shower cut off and sat up. I sat there and waited for him to come in.

"I feel tons better" Sam announced as he walked in wearing only a pair of long, board shorts. He was toweling off his short hair. He tossed the towel on the chair by the dresser and slid down by me. "You want to go somewhere for dinner or stay in?" he asked me. I gave him a look "I'm not going out just yet". Sam only nodded "Okay… I guess its pizza then". I laughed at him "I can cook you know." Sam pulled me up from his bed with him "Glad one of us can" he quipped as he drug me after him. I appraised his huge kitchen. Most of the first floor was taken up by it. I dug around his house like it was my own while he leaned on the counter and watched me, just content watching me move around. "Quit it" I ordered him, making him look away quickly. "Sorry, I can't exactly help it you know". I didn't say anything back to him as I started fixing his dinner. Sam grabbed a piece a cherry tomato and popped it in his mouth whole "I can help you know, I'm not completely insolent" As if to prove himself he grabbed the spatula from me and flipped the meat a little too early. I snatched it back and popped him with it "How do you fend yourself most days?" I asked curious.

"You're probably better off if I don't answer that" He said seriously. I laughed at him "Pizza? Take out? that's not so bad". Sam grimaced slightly "Not exactly take out" I took his meaning then and made a disgusted face at him. "Enough" I shuddered at the thought. "Its easier, besides, I really don't even notice it, its natural". I pushed his salad at him "Eat that. And you're not doing that anymore" I gave him a stern look. Sam drenched the salad in dressing before devouring it quickly. "You act like you're starving' I chastised him as I lifted the huge piece of meat from the pan and dropped it on a plate. I pushed that to him too, expecting him to let it cool, but instead he immediately started in on it too. I shook my head watching him. "Should I make more?" He smirked as he chewed and swallowed "No. this is good. Thanks" I looked at the clock. Five minutes and he was done. He downed everything with a gallon of water it seemed.

"You didn't want anything?" he asked me. I had my back turned to him washing everything I had used "No. I'm fine. My stomachs in knots lately". I hadn't heard him as he moved up to stand close by. 'Leave them, I'll do them later" he suggested and pulling the plate from my hand and let it fall into the soapy water. He held on my hand, gazing down at me. "If you stayed with me all time, then we wouldn't have to rush our dates." There he was again, pushing for me to move closer to him. "I told you I couldn't". Sam sighed "It would be easier though" He was headed towards his living room where he dropped down into the arm chair instead of the couch. I took that as a sign. Not a night for cuddling.

I sat down in the corner of the couch as he flipped through the channels. "It's not like we'd be living in sin or anything" I stifled a giggle when it came out of his mouth. Sam glanced at me "What? Isn't that the reason why you won't?". I couldn't help but laugh. "it's the way you put it. And yes, that's part of it. The other part is, we don't know each other enough to live together". Sam shrugged it off "Then I wont stay here with you." I felt myself started to tug towards the idea. "I don't know" I fidgeted with a pretend thread. "I'll have to find a job here, if I'm not going to school." Sam's eyes narrowed slightly "You don't need a job". He was going to be even more difficult than I could have imagined with this. "I have to have a job to pay my share." I could have popped him. Sam moved over to the couch slowly and pulled me into his arms. "You don't have a share to pay. You're share is my share". I felt guilty though I didn't know why. "You can't honestly expect me to move here, with no job, no money, no nothing to contribute". Sam started to speak but a knock at the door interrupted him. He scowled in that direction "Probably mom". He released his grip slightly and called out "Its open!". The door opened slowly, "Hello?' A familiar voice sounded out. We both looked at each other. What in the world did **she want?**


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15 Today is the greatest

Sam stood up and walked straight backed to towards Leah's voice. I felt anger boiling inside of me. What was she doing here? I felt jealousy pitting inside of me. "I just thought I'd stop by and see how things were". She was in my view now. She had on a short, halter top black dress. Obviously she dressed for something other than to just stop by and visit Sam. I narrowed my eyes at her. I tried to stay calm, I'd get rid of her first then, start on him I decided. Leah moved to slide her tanned arms on him, I stood up and was at his side in a moment, I gave her a hard look "Things are fine here". Leah looked at Sam's bare chest and back at my scarred face. She was looking at me horrified. "I just thought that you two had…..' her voice trailed off. Leah backed away. I knew what she started to say. She thought we had broken up after he saw me. "Its nice of you to feel sorry for her" Leah told Sam sweetly changing her tune. I felt pain spread through me. Sam gave Leah a look, I noticed his eyes. They were getting darker. I moved towards Leah "You should really go". I said softly. Leah scoffed "I'll go if Sam wants me to". Our eyes met a moment, Sam said in a strained voice 'You need to go". Leah's face crumpled slightly as she turned back to go. "When you get tired of the freak show you know where to find me'. I heard Sam growl, hopefully to Leah it sounded like a mumble. I rushed her out of the house as quickly as I could. I slammed the door behind her and locked it.

Sam was calming his self as I stood back. I watched him carefully, waiting for a sign I should get out quickly. He motioned me to come closer. "I'm fine" he reassured me. I felt the rush of emotion hit me after he told me he was ok. "Why can't she leave you alone?" I whimpered as I cried against him. Sam pulled his hands through my hair 'I don't know, I wish she would though.". I sniffled, I wasn't crying just over Leah's cruel remarks, I was crying because I honestly wanted Leah to go away and not bother us anymore. I didn't understand the fixation. Sam didn't want her. He loved her sure, but not like that.

"Shh…" he whispered." Don't let her get under your skin". I was breathing in shaky breaths, "I'm sor-sorrry" I hiccupped. "I don't want her to touch you or be near you, I know its stupid". To my surprise he laughed "That's exactly how I feel about you and other people". I looked up at him, he wiped the tears my cheeks with the back of his hand. "She thought you left me because I'm ugly!". The tears started coming down again. "I'm ugly, hideous, I'm repulsive" I was sobbing now. Sam shook me gently and took my face and tilted it up "Don't ever say that again. You're not any of those things. You're beautiful".

I continued to cry as he moved me to the couch and laid me down. "Emily' he begged. "Please stop" he was pleading me. I cried even harder feeling bad for even crying when he begged me not to. Sam put his arm around me and waited it out. When I finally got a handle on myself I wiped under my eyes. "I'm done I think". I said in a stuffy voice. He looked relieved "It won't happen again." Sam kissed my cheek and as an afterthought he kissed my scars on my face and on my hand. "Don't do that to me again" he said with a smile. I laughed "I guess I'd been holding it all day." He was wiping off tears again. "You can't let her bug you Em. I don't want her. I don't even think of her like that anymore." His voice sounded sincere, honest. I knew then I could believe him "I know. I just can't help it' Sam held both my hands in one his large ones. "I guess it just goes along with being imprinted. Being so possessive of each other." He laughed at his self. "And you say we're not close enough to live together."

I snuggled closer to him, making him sigh as he moved away again like he did earlier. "What's wrong?" I asked him, wondering what I did. Sam shrugged 'Harry told me not to…." He stopped there, I could have sworn I saw a blush. I giggled "I can't believe him". I moved closer to him again this time getting a grip on him. 'It's fine". Sam gave in and finally pulled me against him, I was laying on top of his chest now. "He's just… concerned." I rolled my eyes " No, he's nosy, and thinking about things that aren't anyone's business." Sam didn't reply only kissed me with force. I didn't respond to it, just let him kiss me. I still couldn't kiss him back exactly. Four more weeks I reminded myself. He didn't seem to mind it as his lips moved to my jaw. I could feel his hands pressing on my back until I reached behind me and shoved them off.

He would learn after a while what not to do. I felt his mouth going my neck and jerked away. I gave him a look as I sat up. Sam just smiled at me "Sorry.". He didn't sound sorry about it. He sounded pretty pleased with his self. "I should get going". I reminded him. He sighed "I don't see why. You don't have school. You don't have anything to be home so early for.." I looked behind "Its ten, and I have to go home because my parents say so, and I'm not as lucky as you are to live alone with no parents." He was only too happy to remind me of this "But you could too". I pushed him away completely "Come on." I chose to ignore his begs.

Sam grumbled as he got the keys and reluctantly drove me back home. "Next time we're actually going to go somewhere' he warned me. "We can't stay inside all the time you know… I'm sure everyone's wondering about my mystery lady". I laughed at him "Mystery lady?' I asked him curiously. Sam turned reddish under his copper skin "Yeah, they've all heard a lot about you.". I shook my head at him in amazement. "No wonder the guys at the garage all stare at me." Sam shot me a grin "So does that mean next time we can really have a date?". I unhooked my seatbelt and scooted over to him and hooked he middle belt around me so I could sit closer. I could feel his body heat radiating from under the shirt he'd throw on. 'I guess so, but only if you tell me where we're going first so I can prepare myself. " He tossed his arm over the back of the seat. "You could at least think about staying a few nights down in La Push with me". His hand dropped down on my shoulder. "I won't do anything disrespectful or unwanted I swear, it'll just give us more time together".

"I don't think my parents are going to exactly go for that idea," I knew they wouldn't actually. We were pulling up to my house now. The lights were still on in the living room. "We can see each other more if you would quit being so secretive. You can trust me you know.". Sam let out a low rumble, something I doubted I would ever get used to was his wolfish qualities. "I do trust you, I tell you everything," I gave him a withering look "You do not. You still don't tell me why you're gone so much at night lately." Sam turned towards me, his back against the door "I'm out late so I can keep an eye on things, it helps keep me calm when I'm close to you if I run out all the energy pent up in me."

I unhooked my seat belt "I still think you're holding out on me.". Sam didn't answer me back, just silenced with a smoldering look in his eyes as he kissed my mouth back shut. I felt like he was fixing to suffocate me when he pulled away. He had smirk on his face as he looked at me, tracing my face with his fingers. "You know… " he stopped. "Never mind" He got a mask of calmness. I hugged him one last time before I got out, just as I started to slam the door shut I could have sworn I heard him say "I love you". I let the door close. My face burned, I wanted to turn back around and ask him, on the other hand, if he didn't say I love you, I would feel really stupid if I asked. I clumsily opened the door to my house and went inside the liviing room "I'm back mom." "It's about time" Mom said sleepily. I smiled at her, it was so funny to see her wait up. "Its not that late' I reminded her. "What did you two do?" she asked me as she looked at my face, scrutinizing me. "Just hung out, made dinner, Leah stopped by." I figured I'd go ahead and mention that to her in case Sue had already called to tell her about my latest scandal of yelling at Leah. My mom yawned "That's nice, I'm glad you kids are getting along better." She seemed relieved. "You got some letters from school too." she nodded towards the table as she started up the stairs. "Night Em.'

I grabbed my mail and went up. The I love you was still ringing in my ears. I didn't know for sure that's what he'd told me. Out of nowhere I realized that if it was, he probably thought I was being rude when I slammed the door shut and walked off. I slid into my pajamas and into bed. It had been a long day and now it looked like it would be an even longer night. I closed my eyes, replaying the days events. His words kept coming back. Did I want to tell him I love you too? More importantly did I love Sam? I hadn't known him very long but I could feel it inside. I just didn't know if I wanted him to know yet. I felt giddy like a small child might as I lay there.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16 -I knew I loved you

I walked downstairs in my pajamas the next afternoon. My mom was at home today, but was till at the table shuffling papers from work. "Morning" she said sarcastically. I looked at her, thinking on if I should reply or not. "I'm tired" I mumbled as I sat down across from after getting myself juice. My mom stared at me before looking back down at the papers she was going over. "I was thinking.. Since you decided not to walk with your class for graduation, how about we do something really big for your birthday with the rest of the family?' I almost spit the juice out. "I thought maybe something small actually. " My mom nodded, going along with it "Okay. that's fine too then, I'll take care of it, I'll invite everyone and take care of decorations and food.' That was easy, I thought. I let my head rest on my hand, I was thinking back on what Sam had said last night. I love you. It was amazing what the effect of those three words had on me. I smiled to myself, my mom looked at me funny, "What're you so happy about?" I shook my head, like an etch a sketch. "Nothing, just thinking about yesterday.' I stood up and opened the fridge and grabbed an apple. I sat back down, "Is it ok if I go back to La Push today?' My mom shook her head no without looking up. "Not today sweetheart, your dad and I would just prefer if you stayed close to home for a while.". I frowned at her "So Sam can't come here either?". My mom sighed "Not tonight, it wont kill you not to see him for a few days you know.'.

I felt stung at her words, I got up and pushed the chair in, slamming it against the table. "Fine." I stomped my wa"And you wonder why you get treated like a child!" she called after me. I turned back around and snapped back angrily "I don't know why you're being like that to Sam, He hasn't done anything wrong". My mom had moved from the kitchen to stand in the living room. "What he's done is caused you to neglect your family values and bonds, I just don't want you with him every minute of every day". I gave her an angry look "You can't stop me from seeing him you know." My mom laughed harshly "Oh yes I can.". I felt a surge of hatred towards her "Three weeks" I reminded her. "Three weeks won't make you automatically responsible you know, in three weeks Sam might have found someone else.'.

"He's not like that and you might have made a mistake having me, but that doesn't mean I'll make the some mistake as you did, I'm a lot smarter than that." I put a venomous anger into saying the word mistake. I fled back up the stairs, I wouldn't cry over this I told myself. My mom was standing there shocked I'd yelled back at her for a change I guess. I slammed the door and locked it before sliding down to the floor in front of it. She couldn't keep me from him. Not for three weeks. It would be torture. I wasn't even sure Sam would be able to keep back that long without even a glimpse of me. I knew it hurt him to go too long without seeing me. I didn't know why she felt so strongly about keeping us apart. I wasn't stupid. I knew what I was doing. I was sure by now Sam realized not to even try any more. It wasn't all about physical attraction for us.

I moved to the bed, grateful I still had pajamas on as I crawled back into it. I'd have to wait for her to leave or go to bed late tonight to call Sam. I'd lay here and punish her by not speaking to her. It would drive my mom crazy. I stared up at the ceiling. My chest was aching already, just knowing I wouldn't be able to see Sam. That told me the truth I'd been denying. I did love him. I loved him more than life its self. Why couldn't she just accept it already?

I started thinking onto his pushing for me to move in with him so badly. We'd see each other more, he was right about that. On the other hand, he didn't want to me work, he didn't want me to have to feel like I had to go to school either. I needed a life. I needed something to do. I wasn't so sure about going to college anymore either. Working with children didn't seem like that good of an idea anymore. My job options were limited. My mom didn't understand my dating options were limited now too. Any other mother would be happy that an attractive, respectful, man wanted to take out her disfigured daughter.

y back upstairs. "And you wonder why you get treated like a child!" she called after me. I turned back around and snapped back angrily "I don't know why you're being like that to Sam, He hasn't done anything wrong". My mom had moved from the kitchen to stand in the living room. "What he's done is caused you to neglect your family values and bonds, I just don't want you with him every minute of every day". I gave her an angry look "You can't stop me from seeing him you know." My mom laughed harshly "Oh yes I can.". I felt a surge of hatred towards her "Three weeks" I reminded her. "Three weeks won't make you automatically responsible you know, in three weeks Sam might have found someone else.'.

"He's not like that and you might have made a mistake having me, but that doesn't mean I'll make the some mistake as you did, I'm a lot smarter than that." I put a venomous anger into saying the word mistake. I fled back up the stairs, I wouldn't cry over this I told myself. My mom was standing there shocked I'd yelled back at her for a change I guess. I slammed the door and locked it before sliding down to the floor in front of it. She couldn't keep me from him. Not for three weeks. It would be torture. I wasn't even sure Sam would be able to keep back that long without even a glimpse of me. I knew it hurt him to go too long without seeing me. I didn't know why she felt so strongly about keeping us apart. I wasn't stupid. I knew what I was doing. I was sure by now Sam realized not to even try any more. It wasn't all about physical attraction for us.

I moved to the bed, grateful I still had pajamas on as I crawled back into it. I'd have to wait for her to leave or go to bed late tonight to call Sam. I'd lay here and punish her by not speaking to her. It would drive my mom crazy. I stared up at the ceiling. My chest was aching already, just knowing I wouldn't be able to see Sam. That told me the truth I'd been denying. I did love him. I loved him more than life its self. Why couldn't she just accept it already?

I started thinking onto his pushing for me to move in with him so badly. We'd see each other more, he was right about that. On the other hand, he didn't want to me work, he didn't want me to have to feel like I had to go to school either. I needed a life. I needed something to do. I wasn't so sure about going to college anymore either. Working with children didn't seem like that good of an idea anymore. My job options were limited. My mom didn't understand my dating options were limited now too. Any other mother would be happy that an attractive, respectful, man wanted to take out her disfigured daughter.

I fell asleep listening to the tv drone on and slept in a deep slumber for hours. I was having another one of those strange dreams again. The giant black wolf was staring at me as I tried to find my through the thick green forest. I was running in circles, back and forth, crying for help. I fell down terrified as the wolf approached me and nudged me. I looked up, Sam was standing there looking down at me, he held his hand out and pulled me up. He opened his mouth and nothing came out.

A sharp bang made me jolt up. Perfect. Dad was back. "Emily open this door up right now!" he was banging on it. I sat there listening as he knocked. "Is she with you?" I called out tentatively. "No now open up." He demanded. I padded to the door and undid the dead bolt. My dad was standing there with a look of disbelief on his face. "I can't believe you" he started. I held my hand "She wouldn't leave me alone. She was being horrible to me.' I said softly. My dad rubbed his chin, "She's still your mother Emily, you can't just lock her out of your life. She's worried about you is all". He loosened his tie. "It hurt her feelings that you wanted Sam to comfort you yesterday instead of her". I laughed "I didn't need any comforting though. I'm not that upset about it anymore, I've had time to get used to everything.". My dad slipped the tie off finally. "We just want you home for a while, not out wandering around with Sam honey.' He looked sympathetic. "It worries us, how quickly you started clinging to this boy."

I rolled my eyes up at the ceiling "I want to be with him as much as I can. Same for him.". My dad rubbed his eyes "Just go along with it for now please." he sounded tired. I nodded my head after a moment "Fine" I agreed like the good daughter I was. I knew better than to go against my dad. It would be too disrespectful.

I grudgingly went down stairs for dinner, I made a point of not looking at my mom directly. I sat down at the table and crossed my legs into my chair under me. I cleared my throat out loudly "I want to ask you guys something.". My mom put her fork down on her plate and looked at me, as if to say what now? My dad simply nodded his head for me to go on. "I want to know why you don't like Sam, the honest truth." I crossed my arms over my chest and waited . My mom gave an expatriated sigh "I do like him, I think that maybe he's too big of an influence on you right now." My dad nodded in agreement, "Sam's a good kid, Well man I guess I should say, I just don't think you need to let him control your every move". He gave me a small smile "I get the feeling you'd do anything he asked and I don't like it one bit Emily,". I rolled my eyes at them "You're making it sound like something its not.".

"I don't see why we're even discussing this Emily, you already know the verdict.' M y mom snapped at me. She picked the fork back up. I felt like throwing my hands up and screaming. I had to see him, why couldn't they understand it? I shoved my plate back. "Its not fair is all" I said softly. I stood up and shoved my chair back in its place. "Goodnight" I mumbled as I went back to my safe haven. I heard my dad tell my mom quietly "It wouldn't hurt to let him come here though". At least someone was on my side in this.

I shut the door and sat back down in front of the tv. I was watching it but not even paying attention. An idea had popped into my head. If they wouldn't let me see Sam then I'd find my own way to see him. I'd wait until they were asleep to leave though. I grabbed my overnight and shoved a few things inside of it. Pajamas, toothbrush, clothes for tomorrow. I ran through the list mentally. Now if I could convince Sam to come get me without him making a fuss. I headed back downstairs to get the phone to call "Emily? Come in here a second" My dad called out to me. I cringed and turned back around to the living room where my dad was watching the game. "Yes sir?" I said not looking at him. I was still mad at him. "Sit down" he motioned to the spot next to him on the couch.

I sat down and looked at him with a blank expression. "Sam can come here.. With a few conditions of course." My face lit up as the words left his mouth. "First one is, you two have to stay down stairs, no visiting after ten, and eleven on weekends." I nodded eagerly. "Fine, I'll take it." It was only for three weeks anyways. My dad rubbed his temples "I wanted to ask what you decided about school also, are you going more importantly?". I shrugged "I thought I'd take some time off, I'm not so sure what I want to do now, I figured I'd find a job or something." He nodded "I understand". That seemed to close our conversation, I went for the phone with different intentions as I called Sam.

The phone rang and rang it seemed finally he picked it up "Hello?" He asked sleepily. I felt bad instantly for waking him up. 'Sorry.. Go back to sleep" I said smiling. I could picture him laying there on the couch, fully clothed, half asleep. "No, I'm up now, I needed to get up anyways, I gotta go out tonight for a while' Sam yawned tiredly. I sat down and closed my eyes, drinking in the sound of his voice. "Are you coming out here?" I teased him. Sam laughed lightly "I might, depends on if the lights are off or not". I laughed back at him "I could come out you know.. Wait on the porch for you'.

There was silence on the other end. "I don't think that's a good idea actually' Sam said slowly. "I don't know if I can…"He didn't have to finish for me to know what he meant. I sighed "I think you can though, I'm not scared of you,". Sam didn't answer me, he was at least thinking it over, "How about… I just bring pants with me and I'll phase when I'm in the woods, I don't want you to be around me in my other form". I giggled "Bring pants?' The idea was funny to me, I pictured him running around with jeans in his mouth. Sam laughed into the phone softly "Well they don't pop in and out with me you know". I should have realized that, then again there was a lot to this wolf thing I needed to learn. "It might be our last chance in a while to be alone, " I told him about the new rules instituted on us. Sam groaned "If that's what I have to do I guess its okay, we just won't be able to talk about anything in front of them." I looked at the clock "How long will it take for you to get here?"

"I don't know…fifteen minutes?" He guessed. "I'll be on the porch, just whistle when you're outside'. I heard my parents heading to their room. "I'll see you soon" I promised. Sam paused before saying "Love you" before he hung up. There it was again. He had definitely said it this time. I kept my eye on the clock as I changed into different pajamas. These ones looked a little bit better, they weren't too big or had holes. I slid my slippers on and padded down the stairs quietly as I could manage. I opened the door and left it open just a crack as I slid out of it. I sat on the steps outside, listening hard for any sign of him approaching. It was kinda cool how quickly he could run his way here. I heard a rustle in the bushes and stood up shivering. I walked towards the woods "Sam?" I whispered. I felt a hand reach out and grab me, I let out a yelp and started hitting the rock chest my fists met with,

He covered my mouth with a hand "Shh.. You scare too easy" He smiled down at me as he drug me into the woods. Sam drug me just outside of view of the house before he embraced me. "Its childish having to sneak around" He said softly. I wrapped my arms around him too as we stood there, just looking at each other "I know, but not for long". Sam kissed the top of my head "I don't think things are going to get much better after your birthday, you're still going to live with them". I leaned onto him "I think it will. I think my mom's just still feeling you out is all." Sam let his hands drop to my sides, rubbing my left rib cage. I grabbed his hand as it went down further and drug it back up to my back. "How long can you be out in one spot?" I asked him. Sam shrugged "As long I want to be really, I can smell everything I need to," I smirked at him "Smell?"

"Yes smell, and hear too," He was looking at my scars as he spoke. I looked down, blushing under his gaze. "What else can you do?' I asked him, seriously wondering. Sam laughed at me as he released me form his hold and dropped to the ground , I dropped down by him, and rested a hand on his leg. He looked down at my hand before he spoke. "Nothing too exciting really. Obviously I can smell things, hear them better than a normal person, I don't have any special powers or anything if that's what you're asking.". I grinned at him "No biting and making me a moon walker then?" Sam chuckled "No. Only ours kids will be, the sons anyways.". He realized what he'd just blurted out. "I mean.. if.. I didn't mean that" He looked at me worriedly. "I know what you meant" I reassured him. The hole in my chest felt filled as I sat close to him, drinking in every bit of him.

Sam kissed my cheek, the right side of course. I turned my face from him "Why do you keep doing that?' I grumbled at him. "Because I like showing my love for you" was his reply. I gave him a steady look. "You know what I mean, you're always touching the scars you made on me". Sam took my marred right hand and kissed it. "I kiss them to show you they don't bother me,". I felt his lips going up my arm until he reached my mouth. "I love you so much" He whispered as he kissed me gently. I heard myself whispering back "I love you too" as we entwined ourselves. Something clicked as soon as the words were out.

We sat there grasping each other as we kissed for what seemed like forever. I closed my eyes, losing myself in the kiss. I felt his tongue moving with mine, the bite on my bottom lip. He was supporting me up into a sitting position with one hand, the other was on my thigh. Sam finally pulled apart from me, my hands still clutching at his bare chest. "I think that's enough" He said softly. I nodded my head, still not taking my hands off of him. "Can't we just.. Sit here a while longer?" I half begged him. Sam sighed as he put his arms back around me "Just for a few minutes, I don't want them to notice you're gone, they'll know you're with me" I smiled contently as he held me close to him. "Do you mind if I ask you something?". Sam yawned "No, go ahead". I looked up at him, "Do you hate it?'. Sam didn't answer me. He shifted slightly "I hate it because I've hurt people I cared about to keep the secret, and I know the same curse will be passed down to my sons, I hate being the only one. Billy says I still have at least six months before any of the younger ones will change, but even then, it still leaves me as the Alpha." He took a deep breath. "On the other hand, I looked at it as the best thing that's ever happened to me. I wouldn't have ever found you if I hadn't changed. I wouldn't have ever known what love really could be like."

"Can't you.. Quit?" I wondered aloud. Sam shook his head sadly, "Not until I can find a way to keep myself from phasing for a long time, and I can't do that even if I really wanted to. The tribe is depending on me too much". Sam was twisting my hair round and round with his fingers. "I'll be stuck like this for a while". I took it all in. There were pros and cons just like anything. "Who knows?" Sam mentally counted " Only a handful of people. The council of course, you, and my mom." I felt a surge of happiness. "So Leah never knew?" He shook his head "I couldn't tell her. She wasn't you. She wasn't my mate. My soul mate I guess I should say," I laughed at the term mate. "And none of the legends tell you why me?".

Nope. Its rare though. Not every one will imprint like I did with you. I think maybe it has something to do with being able to find the person you have the best chance of passing the gene onto with, someone that will automatically get it, understand everything." He kissed my scars again. "I need to get going". I sighed as we stood up from the grass, him pulling me up with him. "Will you come back tomorrow and see me?' I pleaded. I didn't like the distance he put between us at times. Sam thought on it. "I think I can." He grinned at the look I got. "You know I will." I leaned up and kissed him one last time before I headed back to sneak inside again. I glanced back at him as I went inside. He was waiting for me to be in before he phased I realized. He waved as he disappeared. I saw his body doing that familiar quiver I'd learned to recognize as a sign that he was losing his temper. It must be how he phased.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17 Here I go again

A week later

I walked down the shore line, letting the hot piercing sun hit me. I had my hair pulled up into a messy pony tail, and had on plain denim shorts and a tank top. It was surprisingly warm out today. I kicked up the sand as I walked, looking out at the water. It was beautiful out.

I'd came down to the beach that ran along the Makah reservation with Sam, it was a chance to get out of the house where we were being watched every moment. Sam was dragging behind me, he pausing to take deep breaths. He claimed it smelled funny out here. I laughed as I remembered the look on his face. Sam ran up behind me and grabbed me, lifting me up as he tickled me. "Still laughing at me?" He teased as he put me back down. I smiled at him warmly and held out my hand for him to take. "Its nice out today" The sun was going down little by little.

Sam swung our hands back and forth slightly. "It is. I'll have to get a hair cut sometime". I snickered 'What does the weather have to do with a hair cut?". Sam looked at me blankly. "I do have fur you know.. When I change. And if its hot out, I'd rather have a short coat.". Sam poked me in the side "Ready to head back?". I nodded my head as I stopped and slid my shoes back on.

We started walking back up the street to my house. I didn't live quite as far in the woods as he did. "So I was thinking on your birthday…' I shook my head at him warningly "I don't want anything. And I don't want to go anywhere" I stated. Sam looked hurt "I thought it'd be nice if we went out somewhere a little bit more dressier than the beach for a change." I squeezed his hand "It would be nice, but not yet". Not yet was always my excuse to him. Sam accepted it without arguing. "Then I'll just get you something really great then."

"Don't waste all of your money on me" I hated when he tried to pay for stuff or buy me anything. "Its your birthday" He exclaimed. "A very important birthday too". I knew it was important for him. It meant I could leave the Makah reservation if I wanted to. The thing was, I didn't know if I wanted to or not. "I don't want a big fuss is all". I wold rather everything be kept simple. I hated having tons of attention drawn towards me. Sam looked thoughtful as he chewed on his bottom lip "I know I'll do". A smile played on his face as he fought to keep it to his self.

We were nearing my house now, "Remember, no growling or showing your teeth when she makes you mad" I reminded him. Sam laughed "I'm not the family pet" he joked. We walked into the house, stilling holding each others hand. His was burning into mine. I couldn't let it go though. "I was wondering where you two had got off to" My mom commented as she stirred something on the stove. I pulled Sam to the table and pulled out a chair for him before sitting down myself. "Just for a walk down the beach, nothing too exciting.".

Mom motioned to the cabinet above the stove, "You want to get the plates out?" I got up and moved to help her. I grabbed a stack of plates and a handful of silverware and laid it on the counter. My dad loped in, hearing us getting ready and sat down across from Sam. They greeted each other friendly enough. Sam was constantly trying to make small talk with my parents, it just didn't work. No matter what he did they didn't change their minds. My mom carried my dad a plate over to the table. I moved to do the same thing for Sam, I felt her eyes staring at me as I fixed it. I could almost hear her thoughts. She couldn't stand that I did everything for Sam when he was here. It felt natural to fuss over him though.

I laid his plate down with a glass of water which I'd discovered was his choice drink. He rarely drank anything else. Sam started to get up, I glanced over at him and immediately quit eating and got him a paper towel. "So Sam, how's everything in La Push?" My dad asked him. Sam swallowed before he answered "Pretty quiet, nothing too exciting really, ". My dad wiped his mouth "How's the house coming along?". Sam gulped some water, I got up and refilled the glass quickly. "Pretty good actually, I need to do some more painting inside and get some new stuff and I'll be more or less through with the work I had to go when I bought it.'. My dad and Sam were always talking about the house. My dad was a supervisor at a construction company so it went hand in hand. "Awfully big house you got for just you though, three rooms" He shook his head. "Must be a real pain to have to re work each one of them along with the basic ones.". Sam shrugged "Its not so bad, I couldn't pass the deal up honestly, Old Quil gave me a great deal". My mom looked his way then "How is he? I heard his health wasn't so good lately." I sat there and listened as they discussed several of the older Quileute tribe members. Sam seemed to know them all well.

Sam laughed at something my mom said making me look at her, "Actually, I figured my mom would do most of that' he was saying. Must be talking about the actual decorating. I stabbed my spaghetti and twirled it around my fork. I got up to get some more garlic bread, I could feel Sam watching me as I moved. I had just sat back down when he shifted in his car as I sat in mine. "Well, I'm sure it was a change to go from living at home to alone so suddenly." Sam nodded still watching me, "Yeah, I decided maybe it was time me and mom spent some time apart from each other after taking care of each other for so long, we needed a break". Sam didn't hide his fathers leaving from my parents and having the hardship of it hang over him as he got older. I suspected that's what made my dad warm up to him the teeny bit he had.

"Do you want some more?" I asked nudging him. I knew he had to be starving. Sam shook his head at me "I'm fine, thanks". I put my fork down again and got up and carried his empty plate to the sink, rinsing it off. "I'm done" I told him pointedly. He smiled politely at my mom as he got up "Thanks for dinner.. " He followed after me into the living room. I sat down on the smaller sofa and pulled him down beside me. Most nights we just sat there close to each other as we dared get, listening to my parents talk to each other while we pretended to watch tv. Sam glanced back at the kitchen before he gave me a quick peck. "I love you" he whispered randomly. I smiled to hear the words, before I could whisper them back my mom came in and sat across from us. She was determined to never leave us alone to talk by ourselves. "I'm stuffed ' my dad announced as he came in and fell into his recliner.

"Emily, will you do the dishes tonight?" My mom asked sweetly, I nodded, "Yeah, I'll do them right now." I stood from the couch, causing Sam to stand at the same moment, I headed into the kitchen, his eyes on me again. He sat back down looking a little embarrassed. My mom had a funny look on her face as she caught my eye. I ignored her as I started hurriedly washing everything and cleaning the mess. Every now and then I saw Sam shift to look at me. The more time we spent together the more I noticed it happening. He reflected every move I made. His eyes were on me constantly if he didn't have a hand on me somehow. It was a sub conscious habit.

A plate slid from my fingers and busted across the tile floor with a loud shatter. In a flash Sam was in the kitchen, "What happened?" he demanded to know as he grabbed my hand to look for any shards. "It slipped" I said as he started running my bleeding hand under water. "You should be more careful" he told me sternly. I smiled at his manner before I pulled my hand away from him and wrapped in a towel. "Its fine". I bent down and started picking up the pieces of the plate. Sam leaned down and helped me, getting the smaller pieces. "I think I'm gonna get going" he said in a low voice so that only I could hear him. "I'll walk you out" I said just as low. I stood up and dumped the broken plate in the trash. "I'll be right back to finish" I told my mom as I walked Sam out onto the porch and shut the door behind us. We walked to his truck and I leaned against the side of it. "what's wrong?" I asked him.

"Nothings wrong, I just wasn't sure how much longer I could take being stared and scrutinized by your mother." I crossed my arms over myself. "You must not want to see me that badly then" I started, knowing I'd make him feel bad. Sam gave me a look, "Please don't pull that on me". I held my arms out for him, he immediately wrapped them on his neck, trapping me between him and the truck. Something he wouldn't have usually done. Anytime we were in a position I wouldn't be able to get from him in quickly he would move around. This time he pushed his rock hard body against mine. I wanted him, I wanted Sam in a way I hadn't wanted any guy before he did that. I kissed his neck hesitantly, I felt his hands slide slowly up the side of my shirt. I held my breath, letting it out slowly. I couldn't stand being this close to him.

Sam looked towards the window before he kissed my neck, and then backed away from me. He had a sly grin on his face. "Want me to come back later?' He meant did I want him to go home phase and jog back after everyone was asleep. I moved away from the truck, "Not tonight". I wasn't so sure I wanted to be alone with him now. Sam's eyes instantly clouded over "I'm sorry". I laughed "Do you even know what you did?". Sam shrugged "I have an idea'. He pulled on the hem of his shirt. It clung to him tightly. "I'm tired anyways" I told him with a pretend yawn I started walking backwards in the direction of the house as he opened the door and got in. 'I'll see you tomorrow!". I went back inside and closed the loudly behind me so they'd hear that I came back in.

I went to the sink to finish cleaning. Everything was already washed and dried. I frowned as I went into the living room "I would have done those mom". She looked up from her magazine. "I didn't know how long you were going to be outside.". She said with a smile. My dad clicked the tv off. "Em, you know you can tell us anything". I stared at him, "I know that" I said slowly.

My mom patted the couch for me sit down. "We're just a little worried is all.". I sighed, not this again, "We're not doing anything wrong I swear," I started. My mom silenced me "What's he done that's got you so scared of him Emily?" Her voice was serious. I looked at her in disbelief. "I'm not scared of Sam'. My dad twiddled his thumbs around "There's something not right about him. The way he watches you all the time."

"Its not like he's watching me in a creepy way or anything" I said not believing this. They honestly convinced them selves that Sam was some sort of abusive boyfriend. "And another thing that's not quite right, he moves every time you move, its just nor normal".

I stood up "Quit making up things about Sam, I'm sick of it'. The possessiveness was kicking in again. "I can't handle you attacking him much longer"'. I tried to steady myself before I cried. The mental toll this was taking on me was getting to be too hard to take anymore. "Sweetie, did he do something to you? Is that what really happened to you that day you got hurt?" That was it, I lost it. "He didn't do anything to me! I had an accident, a simple accident and he helped me,!" I was shaking.

"Emily Young I suggest you lower your voice" My dad instructed me sternly. He had got up from his chair. I stomped my foot "No I won't, not this time, you two have gone too far". I was crying now. My mom was getting up now "As long as you're in my house you will show respect to me and you won't lie". I snapped "Then maybe I wont stay in your house" I started up the stairs to pack.

"You don't have anywhere to go Emily, you don't have a job or any money" her voice followed me up. I snatched the phone and dialed the number quickly praying that he was home by now. "Hey" Sam said happily. I sniffled tipping him off, "What's wrong?" he asked quickly. "I need you to come get me as fast as you can". I choked out. "Be there in twenty" He said hanging up quickly.

I grabbed a large suitcase and started filling it with my belongings. It was hard to decide what to throw in here. I grabbed an armload of jeans and tossed them in with whatever shirts were in my drawers. I snatched up socks and underclothes in handfuls stuffing them in the overflowing suitcase. I grabbed the overnight bag and shoved shoes into it, I would have to come back the rest of my stuff.

I started lugging my two bags down the stairs. My parents were down there arguing between themselves. My mom stopped mid yell as she saw coming down with the bags. "You can't leave" she said menacingly. I kept going "I am. I can't stay here with you anymore, you're driving me crazy." I'd never dreamed of saying these things to my mother before. But they kept slipping out. My bond and love with Sam was even stronger than family ties it seemed.

I didn't pay attention to her idle threats as I started walking down the driveway, I didn't want Sam to have to pull up into this mess if I could help it. I walked for a couple of miles until he pulled up on the side of the road and jumped out, grabbing my stuff for me and swinging it in the back. I got in and slammed the door. As he got back on the road he looked at me sideways, concern flooded his face. "

What happened after I left?" I shook my head, tears started pouring again as I thought of their false accusations. "I'll tell you later when we get home". I was calling his home my home. Sam nodded and reached over and squeezed my hand as we drove, the rain started pouring from the sky, pounding against the windows. It seemed like it took forever before we reached the Quileute reservation. I let out a breath of relief. I was home free now.

Sam drove down the now muddy lane to his house. "I'll get your stuff, just get inside of the rain" he ordered me. I had no problem listening to him as I ran for the door. I flung it open ran in, shaking the rain water of me, It was dried on my face with my own tears. I heard his pounding footsteps as his feet hit the porch and he ducked inside. He laid my bags down near the door and closed it, shutting out the wind. "Here, I'll go get you a blanket, you look like you're freezing"/ He started for the stairs. I called out quickly "No. Its okay". He stopped and stared at me. He was feeling my pain, I could tell.

I kicked my shoes off and sat down on the couch.. "They think you're hurting me" I told him without hesitating. Sam turned red, "I wouldn't hurt you, I couldn't ever hurt you again". His body blurred a moment. I watched him carefully, making sure he calmed back down before I continued. "My mom asked me if you did this to me" I motioned to my face. Sam turned away from me, taking a deep breath. 'What did you tell her?" He asked me cautiously. I laughed bitterly "I told her she was crazy and making things up".

That seemed to do the trick. Sam walked back closer towards me, making sure he calmed down with each step.

Sam moved down next to me, holding me in a protective circle with his arms. "I'm sorry, I didn't want to cause this much trouble for you". I smiled at him faintly, "You didn't do anything but love me,". I rested my head on his chest "I guess the cops will be here looking for me".

Sam laughed, I could feel it vibrate his chest. "Don't worry about that, noone will mess with you here". I nodded, closing my eyes, I was so tired, I was tired from the past couple of months taking its toll on me, fighting with everyone. I just wanted to lay down and sleep. I felt his arms under me, carrying me upstairs as I laid half asleep in his cradle. He put me in bed, tugging my coat off and pulling my hair down as he covered me. "You're fine here" he told me again as he kissed my right cheek, he turned off the lights, staring at me with a look of serenity.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18 The Police

I opened my eyes. My neck was killing me. I started to sit up and then laid back down. Sam was on the other side of the bed. I hated to wake him up, I knew he rarely slept. My head ached slightly, I closed my eyes again, remembering the nights events. My parents false accusations, except for one very true one. They'd never know the truth on that though. Noone knew but me and Sam. The phone started ringing out of nowhere. I looked around, it was in the kitchen on the charge. Sam stirred, it took awhile for him to realize what woke him up.

He stretched and yawned slowly. He opened his eyes lazily. "Mornin." He said evenly. It was already four in the afternoon. I had a feeling he didn't know how to react just yet. "Your phones been ringing off the hook" I said eyeing him. Sam yawned again and got up in one swift motion and went down stairs to the kitchen where the phone started ringing again. "Hello?" He said balancing his self with one hand on the wall. Surprisingly, he still had a shirt on. I watched him critically, seeing him differently as he stood in the sunlight. "Yeah I know, Its not like we planned it" He listened to You have my word on it that's not what my intentions were, thanks Bill". He hung up the phone and rubbed his eyes.

I looked away before he could catch my eye. I felt miserable. Everyone I loved was mad at me. Except Sam. I was starting to feel the burden he carried. It was ours to share now, literally. His family was distanced from him, now mine were distanced from me. We really only had each other. "Your mom called the cops on me" Sam told me, a hint of humor in his voice. I didn't even flinch. "Go figure, Well what time is she coming to get me back at?" I asked him in a dead, unfeeling tone. Sam was still standing as he spoke "She's not coming to get you. She can't. Bill told her there was nothing she could do if you wanted to stay with me. Its your choice".

I realized what he was asking, not saying. "I want to stay here" I told him, looking up at him. "I don't want to go back there". I refrained from saying home. My parents home was no longer mine. Sam's was. Sam sat down next to me "I won't be mad at you if you do, We'll find a way to see each other". His voice was understanding as he spoke softly. I took his blazing hand. "I'm sure, I don't want to be apart again, not like that". Sam squeezed my hand. "I'll start packing my stuff up in a little bit then". I felt a surge of respect for him, he was doing so much for me. "Thank you" I whispered to him before I kissed his cheek.

Sam pushed me gently back on the bed "Go back to bed, I gotta call Billy and tell him you're here and do a few things". He pulled the woven blanket over me. "I don't know if I'll be able to' I sighed. This was a whole new thing for me. Living with Sam,, though technically not with him. Half of me wanted to wallow in pity for myself, the other half wanted to get up and start cleaning this place that I had to live in. "You know where everything is if you want to take a shower, or get something from the kitchen for yourself." Sam was heading up the stairs now, "It won't take me long".

I laid there for what seemed like forever, I still wasn't so sure about this. I didn't know how living in close quarters was going to work for us. Sam said he'd move in with his mom again, but I didn't really expect him to. I finally rolled off the couch and stretched. "Sam?" I called out as I moved slowly up the stairs. I listened for the shower as I passed the bathroom. Nothing. I paused at his bedroom door, should I knock? I thought to myself. I raised my hand and then dropped it. I didn't want to just bust in on him, whatever he was doing. "Sam?" I said loudly.

"You can come in" His deep voice said as he opened the door in a swing. He was standing there in a towel. I flushed and looked away. "Sorry" I muttered. I turned my back away from him. "its okay". He said with a smile in his voice. I glanced and then turned back around and went to sit on the fluffy bed. "Well… are they mad at you for me being here?" I asked him, I was watching him as he pulled a shirt over his head. Blue. He looked great in blue when he wore clothes. "No their not mad, just… worried for you is all". Sam gave me a lopsided grin. "I'm not exactly trusted right now with close human contact".

"You won't hurt me, I know that, I'm not worried about that". I smiled at him.. "I'm more worried about what's gonna fly around town now". Sam laughed loudly "Nothing. I'm moving back home remember? You'll stay here, I'll stay there, keeps everything safe on either side". I pulled my knees up to my chest "You don't have to move out,". Sam's face clouded over slightly "I don't want you to go against anything you've decided just to keep me happy Em, I don't mind it honestly". He sat down by me on the edge of the bed. "I mean.. I got another room here, its not like you have to sleep with me or anything". I felt the blood rush to my cheeks when he said sleep with me. Sam smirked at me "That's not what I meant. I meant sleep in the same bed as me or anything". I nodded, "We could try it out for a week or two". Sam rubbed my knee lovingly. "As long as you want to". He cupped my chin in his hand "I love you". The words sounded so full of love as he said them. "I love you too". I whispered back. I still wasn't as open as he was to just blurt it out.

"I should get a shower" I frowned at the idea of having to get up and move around. "I don't feel like doing anything but cry". I let myself tip over so that I was curled into a little ball. I shut my eyes, "Where should I put my stuff at?". Sam thought on that a moment "I guess in here, I'll just sleep in the other room". He moved to the dresser and opened the drawers up looking in them. "There should be a lot of room for you, I don't really need clothes and things". I was watching him as he had his back turned. He was so graceful in the way that he moved. Sam glided across the floor it seemed.

"Is it okay if I put stuff in the bathroom?"

"Its yours, I don't see why not" was the short reply. Sam was moving around, unpacking my things for me, while I laid there and watched him. "I don't think I feel good". I had a splitting headache and my stomach was killing me. Sam looked at me, frowning "What's wrong?". I moved around, trying to get comfortable. "My stomach doesn't feel so good".

As if to remind me, I felt it twist into a tight knot. I felt nauseated suddenly. "I don't know if I should lay here or get up". I shut my eyes, trying to steady my spinning thoughts. The room was spinning. I felt his warm hands feeling my forehead, "I can go get you something" he offered. I shook my head, grimacing. "No. I'll be okay." I opened my eyes back up again. "Where are you going?" I demanded. He was slipping shoes on. Sam gave me an apologetic look "Over to the Hills. Jared's been acting kinda funny."

He sighed as he ran a hand over his short cropped hair. "I think he's next" he said gravely. I looked at him in shock. "The same Jared that I hung out with?". I couldn't picture him being like Sam. So.. Huge.. Sam grabbed a coat, even though I knew he didn't need one. "Yeah, same one, I'm just waiting for it. I cant let him phase and not help him. Not like what happened my first time". I felt another wave of it, worse this time. "Are you coming right back?" I felt like a child begging a parent to stay with them. "I gotta do some patrol tonight too Em, I didn't go last night and if Jared phases that means there's more vampires out there".

I didn't like the idea of him being out there alone with those monsters. I didn't like the idea of Jared having to handle everything Sam did either. Sam was strong enough to handle it, I didn't think Jared was though. "So I'll be alone?" I said softly. I could hear the rain pouring down outside now. Sam knelt down by me "For most of the night, yeah, I'll let myself in so I won't wake you up when I get back". I sighed at him, my first real night here was going to be alone.

"I'll find something to do I guess". I wasn't pleased with the idea at all. I didn't feel comfortable here on my own. "Do what you want to, don't worry about getting into anything or doing something you think I wont like, everythings yours now". He kissed me on the forehead, "Call my mom if you get sick ok? I'll try and check in with you". I felt like a pet when he said that. A pet that needed to be given food and water three times a day.

Sam left a few minutes later, locking the door behind him. I sat there, clutching at my stomach as I finally heaved myself up and went slowly into the bathroom where I sat on the linoleum. I sat there for a few minutes before I lost everything I'd eaten. I couldn't handle this. I sat there on the cold floor for a while. I threw up several more times. I leaned against the wall a moment before I tried to pull myself up. As weak as I was, I was able to get myself back to Sam's room. I crawled onto the bed. I was freezing now. It had turned pitch black out as the winds howled. I could hear the trees tapping the windows. It was creepy in here alone at night.

I felt my stomach turning again. This was horrible. I wasn't sure if I would make it worse by getting up or just laying there, waiting it out. I heard the front door slam shut. I froze, I didn't want Sam to see me like this. "Emily Emily sweetheart? Where are you?" I heard a lady's voice call out, I could hear her moving around downstairs. I opened my mouth and called back weakly "I'm up here'. I wasn't sure who it was but they knew me. I leaned over got sick again, this time in Sam's small wastebasket. "You poor thing!" I turned to see who said it. Mrs. Uley. Or Helen rather. She was at my side in a flash, pushing my hair back. I laid back down, "I'm sorry" I whispered.

Helen shook her head at me "Don't apologize, you're sick, you can't help it". She went to the bathroom and came back with a wet, cool, cloth. She pressed it against my forehead. I shivered, I was hot and cold at the same time. Helen sat there beside me, rubbing my back. "Is it something you ate?" She asked worriedly. I shook my head no. "No.. just feel awful. I cant get my stomach to settle down". I shook from being cold. "And S-S-Sam left me". I felt tears adding up in the corners of my eyes. I'd been avoiding thinking about that. It was supposed to be our first night home together. Helen patted my hand "I'm going to see if I can find you something for your stomach hon". She left room after she'd propped me up on the pillows. I felt awful and didn't like Sam's mother making a fuss over me.

My body started shaking slightly as I heaved again. "ohhhh" I moaned. Helen came into the room carrying a glass with something murky in it. "Drink this, its some herbs, Sam doesn't keep regular over the counter medicine here, I'll tell him to get a few thins for you". I reached out to take the glass but she held onto it and held it for me drink from, I took a sip, and fought the urge to spit it out. It tasted terrible. "I know its not the best tasting thing, but it'll help". I gulped a little more before she set it down. "I'm sorry I'm such a trouble". I said softly to Helen.

She shook her head "Its not a trouble for me to help you, Sam should be here in a few hours, he stopped by and wanted to make sure I'd stop by and make sure you were okay.". Helen smiled at me kindly "He told me you were going to stay with him for a while, that your parents and you had an argument.". I nodded, my stomach was starting to settle down. "They just don't get it".

"I guess they wouldn't". Helen laughed. "I wouldn't like it either if I were them, but I can say this Emily, it's a huge honor to have Sam love you like he does. The entire tribe will think highly of you because of him.". She spoke with pride in her voice for her son. "Sam isn't just a kid in a bad situation. He's more important to the tribe than he lets on to you". Helen felt my forehead again. "I think you're cooling down". Her hand was cool on my forehead. "Thank you for being with my son." She said in a quiet, reserved voice. "I know it wasn't easy for you to do, to go against your family in so many ways". Helen paused. "I want you to know, we're your family. You have us. Don't hesitate to ask me for help or just to talk,". Helen sounded teary. "I want nothing but for Sam to be happy and I can see that you do". I smiled at her weakly "Thank you".

That was all I had to say Helen stayed there with me, sponging me off and helping me back and forth from the bathroom into the wee hours of the night. I was starting to worry about Sam. "Is he always out this late?" I asked her. Helen just shrugged "Sometimes, it all just depends. I thought he'd hurry back tonight though. It was killing him to leave you here alone. He was guilt tripping his self." I pictured Sam in my mind, running through the forest as the big, black, wolf that stood taller than a horse. "I think I'll be okay if you need to go".

Helen looked at me carefully "Are you sure?". She frowned at me, I hadn't got sick in a while now, but I knew I looked horrible none the less. "I'm sure, no sense in you staying here all night, I'll be okay". Helen picked up her thin sweater and put it on. "I guess I'll go then, but if you need me you call ok?". I nodded at her stern tone. "Thank you". Helen didn't answer as she walked out the door, only waved to me. I followed her out and bolted it shut after her. She must have a key, I realized. I wasn't sure how I felt about that.

I laid down on the couch for a change and turned the tv on. I kept it down low and listened for any sign of Sam coming in. I wanted to see him before I fell back asleep. That hollow feeling was resting in my chest with him being away from me. Or maybe it was from being sick. I felt my head droop down a few times and jerked back up. It was four in the morning now.

I got up and went to the window and peeked out. Nothing out there. I sighed and paced around, I finally went into the kitchen and poked around, not finding much in there to make my stomach feel better. I slammed the fridge door shut and went upstairs and got in the shower. I was a mess, I still had on the clothes I wore when I got here. I hurried through the shower in case I got sick from moving so much. By the time I got out I was tired from the heat of the water. I pulled on a tank top and shorts and brushed my teeth. I looked at my watch. Almost five. I had an anxious feeling that wouldn't go away.

I crawled into Sam's bed and left the lights off. It was almost sunrise anyways. I hugged a pillow close to my body, and breathed in deeply. I could smell him at least, if I couldn't see him. It was almost as good. I closed my eyes and tried to fall asleep. I was starting to drift off when I felt someone sliding in the bed next to me. I rolled over "Sam?' I whispered. Sam smiled at me sweetly, "Emily" he said my name, letting it drip over his tongue.

I wiggled closer to him instantly "I thought something happened to you". Sam wrapped an arm on my side. "Nothing can hurt me, I just got tied up with Jared is all, he finally phased about eleven". I must have had a strange look on my face "No, he's fine now. I just had to get him to calm down is all. Explain everything to him. He took it pretty easy though, not as bad as I did, he didn't take too long to get back into his human form.".

I rested my head on his chest "That's good I guess, at least you're not alone anymore". I knew he hated being by his self in this. "Not so sure about how good it is". Sam rubbed his eyes, they were turning red from being so tired. "Something else happened…" He stopped and then started talking again "I guess I'm kinda the Alpha now, at least until Jacob Black hit's the age to phase." Sam didn't sound too happy about it. I looked into his eyes, searching them "Alpha?" I said curiously. Sam kissed my cheek "Yeah, I'm the leader of the pack. The chief now technically if there wasn't a council that it.".

Sam brushed my cheek gently "My mom told me you were pretty sick".

"Not too bad" I said lowering my eyes. "Just didn't feel so great, and I didn't know where you were, I felt… funny without you".

Sam laughed "Just another perk of our strange relationship I guess, do you need anything? Medicine? Sprite?" His voice was getting thick. I knew he was fixing to pass out. "I'm fine". I assured him. "I should go downstairs" He muttered as he took his arm off of me. "Shouldn't stay here with you like this". "Its fine, I don't feel good, I don't want to be alone again". Sam nodded and kissed my cheek before nestling his face into my neck. I put my arms on him, trying to pull some of his heat towards me. He smelled like the fresh air and pine for some reason. I heard his low, steady breathing, and relaxed some. Tomorrow would be better, I decided.


	19. Chapter 19

Come on guys,I know your reading this, so plz plz leave me a review!!! alot of thanks and appreciation geos out to the few of you that do review for me, :)

Chapter 19 May I?

I felt the sun beaming down on me and turned over. I opened my eyes into slits. Sam was beside me, still asleep. He had on sweatpants and nothing else. I took the moment to stare at his body. His muscles were well developed all through his arms, down his chest and abdomen. I stopped there and blushed and looked away. I knew he was asleep but it still made me flush to see him like I was really seeing him for the first time. My Sam.

He looked younger as he slept. Like the Sam Leah had introduced me to last summer. More carefree. I was staring at him when his eyes opened suddenly. "What's wrong?" He said sitting up with a jolt. I only smiled at him "Nothings wrong, just.. Watching you is all". I stretched lazily. "I feel better". Sam fell back into the sheets. "Good. We gotta go shopping for you to have stuff here you know, I don't use medicine much around here". Sam pulled the blankets around his self though I knew he couldn't possibly be cold. "Come here". he said huskily. His eyes darkened slightly as I moved closer to him, I snuggled in by him. "I could stay like this forever" I said softly. Sam didn't answer as he pulled me into his broad arms. I leaned forward and kissed his chest, not being able to help myself. Sam took it to mean more than I intended.

He brought his mouth to mine and kissed me hard, like he couldn't stop. I shut my eyes, savoring every moment. Instinctively I opened my mouth slightly and ran my tongue on his lips. Sam rolled on top of me, but held his weight off of me, His right hand was pressing into my back, holding me in place. I didn't try to shove him away so quickly this time. I loved the way his hand felt as it ran up and down my side, pausing on my hip a moment. I felt his fingers slyly starting to work there way under my bottoms, touching me through my think cotton panties. I had my own hands on his back, digging into him, as I clutched him for dear life. I didn't want him to leave me alone for so long again. Sam's left hand started to slide up my shirt before I shoved it back down. "Sorry" he mumbled as he kissed me one last time before he rolled back off of me. I laid there breathless, and hot, I felt shaky as I looked at him. "I'm sorry.. I cant even.. Its not like I can even really kiss you right now". I motioned at the side of my mouth. Almost gone completely. "Don't be. Not for that anyways". Sam rubbed my shoulder gently as he laid back and closed his eyes. "I should get back over to Jared's place.". I tried not to sigh as he said it.

Without noticing, I'd moved back away from him as he spoke, I turned away from him. Was it so much to ask that he stayed home for a few hours with me other than sleeping? Sam leaned up "What's wrong sweetie?" He pushed my hair back "Are you feeling sick again?" he asked concerned. I shook my head at him, "No, I feel ok, just not great." I didn't look at him. I kept my eyes down cast. Sam kissed my cheek "Then what?". I finally met his worried gaze "It just… you keep leaving me". I felt like a little kid begging for attention as I said it. I felt my lip tremble. I bit down on it to keep from crying. Sam immediately looked sorry. "I don't want to, I just don't want Jared to be so freaked". Sam looked like he was holding something back before he opened his mouth again "And I feel.. Different.. There's this.. Feeling running through me now, like.. Power or something". He thought about it a moment "I guess it's the Alpha blood flowing through me". I lowered my eyes into slits as I listened to him. I didn't know if I liked this whole alpha thing. It had changed him.

I didn't notice until he stood from the bed. Sam had grown a little bit taller and broader. I must have been staring at him too hard because he caught my eyes watching his chest and smirked at me. "I could put a shirt on you know". I glared at him and threw a pillow at him. Sam laughed as he caught it. " I could sleep downstairs or in the spare room". he said casually. I knew what he was trying to get out of me. "I don't care, as long you don't care that we're strictly sleeping in here". This time I smirked at him. Sam shrugged as he grabbed a pair of jeans and a worn shirt from his dresser. "Doesn't bother me any. I'm too tired for much else anyways.". I rolled my eyes as I studied his every move. I could see why he liked watching me so much now. He moved gracefully for someone of his size. "I should get up and see if I can get an appointment with Dr. Cullen". I groaned inwardly at the thought of him poking at me. Sam froze.

He turned to look at me harshly. "You'll have to find another doctor". He said in a hard voice he had never used with me before. I shrank back, "Why?" I asked in a small voice. Sam glared a little, though not at me, his demeanor was making me cower. "He's one of them" he spat out. "I won't have him touching you, or you using him as a doctor. We don't go there". The we he implied of course was the tribe in La Push. Or at least the members that were suspicious of Dr. Cullen. I sat up and wrapped my arms around me knees. 'It didn't bother you before though". I didn't understand why he hadn't said anything before. Sam glowered "You weren't living in my house then either.". I took that in. So if I lived with Sam, it was Sam's rules. I didn't know if I liked him telling me what to do. "There's certain things I won't allow now". he said tenderly. "You can't go into the woods anymore, not alone, or without me knowing. And you can't go to Forks anymore to see Dr. Cullen. No more hiding inside either. I want you to start getting out more. You can use my truck, meet the neighbors."

"Oh so you're the boss huh?" I snapped at him. Sam stepped back, "I guess I am" He shot back at me. I threw him a dirty look. "And. You can't go past a certain point in Forks now either. They won't like that. They'll smell me on you, I don't trust them". Sam crossed his arms over his chest, waiting for me to challenge him. I just shook my head at him "I don't have to do what you say". I wasn't going to let him boss me around so easily. Sam stood straight, and gave me a look. "Fine" I said quietly. Sam looked relieved. "So today, you're going to get up, get dressed and go visit the neighbors". I sighed loudly "Today?". I'd rather lay in bed. "I don't feel good you know".

"You felt fine a moment ago, get up Emily". If I'd known he would be this bossy, I would have stayed at home I decided. "I'll

get up after you take your shower". I pulled the comforter up to my neck and snuggled back down in his bed. "Emily" his voice let the words drip from his mouth. "I don't want to get up. I just want to lay here and wallow in my pity". Sam sat on the edge of the bed. "You can't stay here in bed all the time Em, its not healthy for you, just get up for a little while, please". He was rubbing my back. "For me?" He said softly. I moved a little bit, and he smiled. "If you get up now, we can spend some time together before I go, and I'll tell you which neighbors to go visit first. Some of them have an idea of what's going on, the older ones anyways". I looked at him, trying make a sad face. "I think I'll clean the house before I go anywhere, its not exactly clean in here". To make my point I pointed to a pile of laundry on the floor. Sam stood back up 'I gotta get a shower, I'll be back". I smiled to myself thinking I'd won when he didn't push it.

I heard the shower running in the bathroom and crawled out of the bed. I rifled through the clothes of mine that Sam had unpacked and shoved into drawers for me. I blushed when I realized he'd unpacked everything. I grabbed a pair of track pants and a shirt and everything else I needed and tossed it on the end of the bed and crawled back in. I dreaded getting up. It was like something would happen if I did. I heard the shower cut off. I could hear the bathroom door open and a moment later Sam was back in his room with his towel on his waist. I pulled the blanket over my face "Stop doing that" I snapped at him. Sam laughed at me "Stop doing what? I'm not naked you know, I have a towel on". I felt my face flush "Hurry up then". I heard him ruffling around a moment before he said "fine". I peeked out from under my blanket. He was dressed. I let out the breath I'd been holding in.

"Get up". It sounded more like an order this time. For whatever reason, I obediently got up and walked off into the bathroom and slammed the door behind me. I could have sworn I heard him laughing. I pulled my pajamas off quickly and pulled on my easy clothes. Big difference. I tossed them on the bathroom shelf. I pulled my hair up into a ponytail and washed my face quickly. I opened up the door and headed down the stairs, I heard Sam banging around in there. "You look great" He said cheerfully. I shrugged "I guess so. Nothing special though. "Hungry?" I shook my head. "Actually, I think I'll just call your mom for some of whatever she gave me last night". Sam shrugged "Suit yourself then". He'd already made his self scrambled eggs and was shoveling them in his mouth. "We should go shopping soon, get you some stuff, I'm not used to having human problems". He smiled to his self at his little joke. I sipped a glass of juice "I don't want you fussing over me".

Sam laid his empty plate in the sink, "Its not fussing. I mean you got sick and I didn't have any Tylenol or anything for you, and I know you're not going to eat what I do,". I downed the last of the orange juice "Not a big deal I swear. If I want something I'll go get it." Sam reached down and pulled me up by my wrists, "I don't want to go".

"So don't, stay here with me all day and all night". I lowered my eyes, hoping for a shy, innocent look. "You make it sound so easy". Sam was standing there, encircling my waist. "Please.. I haven't got to see you so much". I tried to sound whiny as I spoke. Sam only smiled down at me lovingly "I know and I feel bad for it. I got another boy to go check on today too. Paul Kimkirk. I can feel it coming". I sighed "Fine. I'll stay here and clean and do everything you demanded". It was a petty remark I knew. I heard a vibration in his chest and tensed. His hands pushed me back closer to him. "Don't flinch from me like that." he said softly. "I'm not going to snap". I nodded my head as his grip loosened again. "And you don't have to clean or do any of that stuff". I mumbled "I know but I want to. If you wont let me work or help out it's the least I can do, take care of you". Sam smiled at that. "Take care of me?"

I laughed "Yes. Take care of you. Someone needs to. I might as well." Sam touched my mouth lightly "I think I like that idea. Just remember, everything's yours now too. Not mine. Yours." I grinned at him "What exactly are we sharing then?" Sam cupped my chin "The house is part yours. The money. The truck. Everything.". I pretended to think on it. "How much money?" Sam laughed at me "Yeah you would think about that, and its not much money but its enough for us". He kissed me mouth lightly. "I gotta get your name on the accounts. And get you a key". I felt uncomfortable even though I was joking with him. "I don't know if that's a good idea'". Sam looked me in the eye "I meant what I said about you staying here. I want you to have half of it all. I wouldn't have got the house if I didn't think you were going to live with me". He didn't mean it in an unkind way, but as a matter of reason. That he had got the house for us to live in and start our life together. "Fine. But I'm not touching the money unless I ask first". Sam didn't seem to care either way. "Its just money. I don't have much use for it".

"You still have bills like anyone else". I was sure he did. "Not really. Just the truck and lights. I help my mom out sometimes when she'll let me. I know you're going to want to change things in here.'. He looked around the kitchen. "Not exactly homey". I looked too, seeing it for the first time. It needed a woman's touch definitely. Some odd and ends here and there. "This way, you can buy what you want". Sam glanced at the clock. "I only have a few more minutes'. He leaned down and nuzzled my neck with his mouth. I shivered immediately, making him grin. "Nervous?" He joked. I didn't answer him, he kissed my jaw as if to prove he could make me flinch. I wrapped my arms on him and closed my eyes. Knock Knock. I shoved him away, wondering who it was. We couldn't even have a moment alone.

Sam crossed to the back door and opened it. An older Quileute woman was standing there smiling broadly. Sam spoke to her politely and respectfully in Quileute. He stepped back and held the door open for her. She came in smiling at me. "Hello. I'm Mrs. Narata, I live down the road before you turn down here". She held out her hand for me to take. I shyly shook it. "I'm Emily." I smiled back at her. "Well Emily, I came to see if you were as beautiful as everyone was saying". She winked at Sam. "Helen came by earlier to get some herbs from my garden to make you some broth with. Said you'd been sick". Sam pulled out a chair for her to sit in, she obligingly sat in it. I noticed then that she'd brought a small covered bowl with her. "I feel much better really. I was actually getting ready to come meet you and the others, Sam was about to tell me where to go". Sam had moved into the living room where he was slipping his shoes on.

Mrs. Narata pushed the bowl towards me "You need to eat child. You have a hard time ahead of you". I flushed. I wasn't used to talking to freely with someone I'd just met. "Hard time?". She nodded her head, she had long grayish black hair that was wound into a tight braid around her head. "Sam's made a terrible mess out of the house." She smiled after she said it. Sam came back, "Its not that bad, not really. Just a little cluttered is all". He leaned down and kissed me on the cheek "I'll be back' he said disappearing quickly out of the door. I frowned after him. Mrs. Narata followed my eyes after him and reached across the table and patted my hand 'He'll be back soon enough. I asked him to come help me trim my shrubs". I laughed at her

I couldn't help but wonder why this woman I'd never met was so concerned about whether I'd been sick or not. "I guess Sam does have a mess in here". I looked around, everything needed to be scrubbed. Mrs. Narata pushed back the chair and stood up "Well Emily dear, do stop by and see me sometime soon. " She smiled kindly at me as I stood to walk her out. "I like visitors and I know you'll be lonely here, that boy's going to work his self to death trying to take care of everyone in the city". I nodded quickly. "He will, I'm hoping he'll slow down now though… now that I'm..". I flushed and stopped. She laughed at me "It's ok dear, I don't think anything of it'. She walked down the steps and was standing on the grass. "Now go in and eat". I waved bye to her until she was out of my sight. Undoubtedly she lived within walking distance.

I headed back inside and grabbed the bottle of bleach from the laundry room and mixed a bucket of it up. I started scrubbing everything in sight down.

It took about two hours before everything was the way I wanted it. He needed new furniture that was for sure. But at least everything was clean now. I carried out the last bag of garbage I'd gathered. I'd thrown away everything I didn't think he needed or used anymore. I stepped back and looked at my work. Everything sparkled it seemed. I glanced up at the clock. Sam had been gone for three hours. I pushed my anger aside as I dug through the freezer and pulled out something to fix for dinner later. I'd make a list for him to go shopping with. I didn't want to get out that much just yet.

I fixed a glass of tea and went and sat outside on the porch and watched the birds chirp and fly around. It was beautiful outside. I had a feeling this was how my life would be from now on. Waiting for Sam to come home and find time for me. I was okay with that though. It was more time together than we would have had if I'd stayed at home. I wondered if the other boy had phased too. So young to live with this, I shook my head. I heard the phone ringing back inside and jumped up quickly to get it. 'Hello?" I said breathlessly, "Um.. Emily?" I heard my mom's voice ask timidly. I scowled "Yes. Its me mom.". I didn't say anything more. I wasn't going to make this any easier on her than I had to. "I just thought I'd see how you were doing. You didn't call us." She sounded different. 'I'm fine. Sam's taking care of me". I threw his name in to see how she'd react. She cleared her throat "That's nice sweetheart, well, what I was really calling for is your cousin is sick with something or another, I've had Claire for two days already, and I thought maybe-" I cut her off "Of course I will. I'll come get her."

"Actually, I thought maybe I could drop her off to you". I played with the idea for a moment. "Fine, Sam's not here right now if you want to run over now, I know you don't want to see him". "Fine, I'll be there in a bit, I love you "She hung up quickly after she said it, she seemed scared I'd say something mean back.

A big grin came over my face. A baby. My own niece. I looked around the living room, happy I'd cleaned it. I couldn't help but wonder how she knew where Sam's house was exactly. I flitted around now, wondering where I should put the baby at to sleep, and how long I'd have her for. I wouldn't be alone anymore I thought happily. I heard the back door close. "Hey sweetie, where you at?" Sam called out. I knew it was him the moment I heard his foot steps. I ran to him in the kitchen excitedly. "Guess what?" I gushed. Sam couldn't help but smile at my happiness. "Your mood changed quick" he observed. "The baby's coming to stay with us!" I threw my arms on him. "The baby?" he said slowly. He pulled back from me. " I don't know if that's such a good idea". He had a funny look on his face. I glared at him "And why not? You're not here with me". I threw at him. Sam sighed and rubbed his neck "Fine. I'll have a talk with the boys then".

This time I looked at him funny. "Boys?" I questioned. Sam nodded "Yeah. It seems I have a pack now. Paul phased, only he took it better than Jared. His anger is just a little worse than his was. Other wise they're both in great shape". He smiled at me a little too nicely. "I told them they can stop by if they need a place to just think or get away for a bit. I gotta start getting them on patrols". I didn't mind that. "I don't care if they stop in. As long they hold their temper" I hadn't forget what it was like to have an angry wolf in a closed space. "They will. it's a rule. They're not allowed to hurt you. If they did.." he stopped there. I got the idea.

"I don't know how long the baby will be here for, but I didn't think you'd mind about that". Sam shrugged "I don't mind. I like kids". He seemed to mean it as he said it. I smiled at him "My mom's bringing her over". His face darkened immediately "I think I'll go do those shrubs then". I sighed as he headed back for the door "Aren't you hungry by now?" I knew he had to eat often. "I'm fine. I think you're the one that needs to eat". He pointed at the bowl of soup I'd left sitting out. 'I'm not hungry". I really wasn't. "But you need to eat. You did a lot today." So he did notice the house then. "It looks nice in here".

Sam didn't notice I threw everything away, or if he did he was too nice to say anything about it. "How long before she gets here?" He asked quietly. I shrugged and leaned against the kitchen table. "About twenty minutes". I was watching him now. His shirt seemed to hug him in all the right places. I caught his eyes. Sam looked at me, his eyes seemed to be saying something. I stared into them, not moving. Finally, he looked away from me. I smiled to myself, feeling like I'd won somehow. I crossed over him and stood up on my tip toes and gave him a quick peck on the cheek.

"So I guess the other two know I'm here then?" I grabbed his hand and held it in both of mine. "I didn't have to tell them exactly" Sam looked back up at me "They can see everything in my mind when we're all phased". I jerked my hand back from him "What?" I felt uncomfortable knowing that, they could see us standing here talking if Sam thought about it, they could see Sam eating if he thought about it. If we.. I stared at him "Everything you think about?". Sam nodded slowly. "Yeah. Everything. So I guess.. I'll just have to watch what I think about from now on.". I licked my lips nervously. "I think that's a good idea".

Sam smirked at me " Its not like I have anything to show them I don't want them to see right now anyways". I popped him lightly "Funny, if you keep going like this you never will either". He laughed at me "I think we'll be fine in that department, I'll just block it out of my mind every time we're alone'. I took his warm hand back. "Good." A new thought popped into my mind "Did they think I'm ?" He knew what I was asking him. "No. They didn't. Jared remembered you immediately and realized I used him to get to you" He laughed remembering. "They think you're beautiful honestly. And that I don't appreciate you enough". He kissed my forehead. "And I do appreciate you. Its just hard helping them and being with you at the same time. I should be here all night tonight though". He encircled my waist, "We still have a lot to learn about each other". I nodded, even though we'd stayed up talking, learning every detail about each other the past few weeks, it seemed there was no limit to what we wanted to know about each other. I heard a car pull up, Sam looked down at me, "I'll be back". He ducked out the back door just as I heard a quick rap at the door.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20 Babies

I opened the door quickly, smiling. My mom was smiling, at me, holding a small dark skinned baby in pink frills. I immediately took her from my mom. "Come in, come in" I said leading her into the living room. She was looking around, obviously seizing the place up. I held the tiny, fragile, baby close to me, "How old is she now?" My mom smiled at the baby. "Only a month, your poor cousin came down with the flu, she can't be around her". I cradled her in my arms "I don't mind at all". I looked at her lovingly. My mom watched me "I'll go get her bag then". She walked off quickly out of the house. A few minute later she walked back in carrying two pink diaper bags. "I put a list in there of feeding information and stuff I didn't think you would know". I rolled my eyes at her "I'm not that stupid you know".

My mom got an annoying smile on her face "Sometimes I wonder". I let it slide "You know, it wouldn't kill you to admit you were wrong". I gave her a pointed look. My mom only laughed "I don't think I was wrong. I just wish we could resolve this, and that you would come back home where you belong.'. I shook my head at her "I belong here with Sam. My place is wheris". She scoffed at that "Fine. Just remember, I'm still your mother and I do love you, I just think you're making a mistake". I kissed the sleeping baby "I'll call Jade if I need anything else". I walked to the door pointedly. My mom stepped out "I'll call and check on her later". She left hurriedly, glancing around. I smirked. She was hoping to run into Sam I knew.

I shut the door and went to the couch and sat down, just holding the baby. I marveled at how beautiful she was. So tiny. I held her tiny hand in my finger. I simply sat there and watched her sleep in my arms until Sam came in. His face lit up when he saw the tiny bundle I held. "What's her name?" he whispered, not wanting to wake her. "Claire". I whispered back. I shifted her slightly and he obligingly held out his arms and took her. I couldn't help but smile at Sam holding the baby. He looked so utterly right with her. Sam stared down at her, struck by her as much as I'd been. "I've got to start dinner". I stood up slowly, being careful not to jostle her.

Sam nodded and waved me off, he propped his feet up on the coffee table and leaned his head back, trying to nap while he was stuck holding the baby. I hummed quietly as I cooked, moving around swiftly. I would stop and peer in at them every now and then. Both of them were sleeping. I shook my head with a smile. I didn't have Sam figured as baby person somehow. I finished dinner quickly. I hated to wake them up. I sat down by Sam and slowly moved Claire from his arms. His eyes opened quickly "What's wrong?" he mumbled. I smiled at him "Your dinners ready". He rubbed his eyes. "Thanks Em" He kissed my cheek softly as he got up and stretched. "Lets hope she does that all night' he joked as he went to the table where I'd fixed his plate. Sam ate hurriedly, never taking his eyes off of us.

I heard a small cry and Claire's tiny little arms flailed as she opened her mouth and wailed loudly. I laughed at her "Hungry are we?" I got up bouncing her as I carried her to kitchen and popped a bottle in the microwave. I shushed her while it warmed. Even crying I thought she was adorable. Sam stared for a minute "What's wrong with her?" he said worried. I glanced at Sam as I shook the bottle up and tested it before popping it in her mouth "She's hungry". Sam looked at Claire and made a face "Don't see how that can taste good". I giggled "She probably thinks the same thing about your almost bloody steak". Sam popped another bite in his mouth "I happen to like it". Claire sucked greedily as I walked around with her, "We'll have to find a spot for her bassinet".

"In our room?" he asked warily. I nodded "Yes in our room. She can't sleep too far from us. I might not hear her if she cries". Sam downed the last bit of water. "I'll take everything up stairs. You don't need to carry it". In a moments time he had the fold up bassinet and the bags walking up the stairs with them. "You're so cute" I cooed to Claire as I changed her. She seemed to smile up at me, even though I knew she was too little. I picked her back up, and leaned her over my shoulder, rubbing her back. I heard something moving across the floor and frowned at the ceiling. "You ok?" I called up. "Just making some room" was his answer. I breathed in Claire's baby lotion smell and closed my eyes. I loved the feeling of this tiny body against mine.

******Later that night*****

I came out of the bathroom in my pajamas. Shorts and a tank top and socks. I peered down at the sleeping baby and smiled at her and placed my hand on her, feeling her breathing before I crawled into the bed beside Sam. He was flipping through an old, worn book. I turned on my side, facing him. "Isn't she perfect?" I said in an awed voice. Sam laughed 'That's the third time you've told me that in the last hour". I blushed 'I cant help it. She's just… so.. Adorable." He closed the book and leaned over me to put on the night stand. "I know I know. I like her too". He hovered over me. "Good things she's asleep" he said huskily as he kissed me forcibly. I drank it in, melting into him. It was nice having Sam at home with me. "mmm" I murmured as he pressed against me. I clutched his back as he kissed down my neck stopping at the nape of it and running the tip of his tongue down it. "Sam…" I whispered. He lifted his head up "Want me to stop?" I nodded, not saying anything, I wasn't sure I could piece a sentence together right now anyways. Sam rolled back off of me and onto his back. "Only one more week til you need to go back to the doctor right?"

"I found one in Port Angeles, since I can't see Dr. Cullen anymore". I still didn't feel quite right about that. "Good. You want me to go with you?" I moved to his side, wiggling over to him. "I'll be fine. You have to work anyways". Sam laughed lightly "I don't have to work that day. Larry sees things my way with my work schedule".

"No. Go to work. I want you to get a new couch and things, you need the money". Sam poked me in the side jokingly "I just love the way you put that'. It seemed natural, laying here, arguing with each other. Everything fit so right for us. "I'll only have the baby for one night". I frowned at the thought of giving her back. "I want to get started decorating after that". Sam only yawned "Whatever you want". It was easy to get him to agree. 'Thanks" I said softly. "I don't mind it you know an arm around me as we lay there. "I love you". I kissed his cheek as he said it. "I know you do. I don't know if I deserve it sometimes though". Sam's hand rested on my shoulder "You do. And so much more". I closed my eyes, and leaned in for another kiss, Wham!

We jerked apart. I sat up "What was that?" I whispered. Sam slid off the end of the bed "I'll go see. Stay here". He walked out of our room and down the stairs, not worried at all. I sat up, waiting for some noise. I could hear him talking to someone. "Its fine. No. Its okay Paul. I was up anyways". I sighed heavily. So much for a night together. I just couldn't win an entire night with Sam for anything.

I heard a deep voice apologizing still, "It just.. Hit me. I was too scared to be alone. My mom's at work on the late shift". Sam replied back "I told you it was ok to come over any time, just uh. Excuse me a moment". There was silence "I didn't know that--" Sam's voice boomed out again closer to me this time "No. I was just laying there awake". I heard him as he came down the hallway. "Paul's here" he said apologetically. "He doesn't want to be alone right now. I'm gonna hang out down stairs with him". I tried not to let the resentment come through "Its okay. I'll be up with Claire anyways". Actually I'd only be up with her every four hours for feeding. I saw him through the dim light coming from downstairs, pulling a shirt on over his bare chest. "Don't stay up for me". I laid my head on the pillow sadly. Our second night was ruined.

The next morning early, I yawned sleepily as I walked down stairs in a robe with Claire who had woken me up for a bottle. I walked down quietly. I had a feeling Paul had stayed all night with Sam. Sure enough, a shorter, stockier, boy was slumped over on the couch. Sam was already awake and watching tv. He looked up as I walked by carrying the baby. "Morning beautiful" He said sweetly as he got up. He hugged me slightly "I'll hold her". Without me having to even pass her to him, he'd pulled the baby in his own arms. "Thanks" I glanced at Paul. "I'll fix you guys breakfast after I feed her". He nodded as he sat down, rocking her back and forth. "Too bad she has to go home later". He seemed truly sorry for it.

I handed Sam the warm bottle and he gently held it to the whimpering baby. I watched him care for her, he seemed to be good with kids. I walked back to the stove and started breakfast for Sam and Paul. I was frying pieces of bacon when I heard a low, but deep voice say "Morning". I turned around and smiled I slid Claire from Sam's arm into my own. "Help yourself'. I felt like I needed to overly nice to Paul for some reason. I glanced at Sam "I'm going to put her back down". He nodded, his facial expression was different than normal. It had a harder look than what I was used to. I walked back up the stairs, whispering and cooing to the tiny baby. I set her carefully into her bassinet and started picking up around the room. It didn't take long to realize Sam went through a ton of clothes. Everything was basically new. I threw some into he hamper Id moved into the corner of the room and made sure Claire was asleep before I went back downstairs and left the bedroom door open to hear her if she cried

As I came back down I could hear Paul talking. "I just feel so… angry.. So mad" Sam's deeper, sterner voice said "Its normal. I couldn't be around a lot of people for about three weeks. I told Jared not to go to school for two weeks. I don't want you guys phasing because you lost your temper there". I rounded the corner into the kitchen. Sam's eyes fell on me, the love was still in them, he just wasn't being the same Sam right now. I reached over him and started clearing the table. "Can I get you anything else?" Sam shook his head no, as did Paul. I saw Paul out of the corner of my eye, watching us. He looked away after a moment, flushing it seemed. "So uh.. Is that normal?" he said softly. Motioning towards me. I looked down at Sam wondering what he meant.

Sam smiled, my Sam's smile. "Not from what the legends say. Imprinting is rare. Usually only the Alphas and their seconds will imprint." Paul rested his head in his hands. "I should get going. My mom's gonna be worried". Sam nodded, "If she gives you any trouble for not coming home, call me and I'll come talk to her. I had to go do the same with Jared's folks. Being an Elder has some perks for you kids I guess". Paul laughed "Never thought I'd be hanging out with you though." Sam sipped his coffee. "Me, Jared, and Emily are all the friends you have right now. Just remember that. You cant be around anyone else until you can control it". Paul smirked "I have a feeling that's easier said than done". He got up and shook Sam's hand. "I'll try not to bother you guys again tonight". He gave Sam a look. Sam rolled his eyes "Go home kid". He watched Paul as he walked down our long driveway.

warmly at the boy. He didn't look much older than I was. "Have a seat. I'll be done in a moment". Paul pulled out one of the wooden chairs and sat down. He looked as tired as Sam did most days. "I didn't know you had a baby". he said slowly. Sam cleared his throat "She's Emily's niece". Paul nodded quickly and averted his eyes from Sam. I walked towards the table and sat down a heaping plate of bacon and another of scrambled eggs.

"Is he.. Safe?" I asked Sam. Paul seemed to be holding something back. "He's fine. Just angrier than me and Jared. Short tempered." I didn't like the idea of Paul losing his temper. Sam softened to me "Don't worry about him. He won't hurt you. He knows not to even try". Sam leaned beside me, where I was washing the dishes. "Thanks for fixing breakfast for us". He smiled down at me. "Paul thinks you don't like him". I laughed as I dried the plates. "I don't even know him". I wiped my hands off on the dish towel and put my arms around Sam's waist, "I won't like him if he comes back tonight though". Sam smirked at me as I leaned up to him, and kissed him on the jaw line. 'It was getting pretty interesting wasn't it?" he mumbled into my hair as he pulled me closer to him. I felt like my back might break from the grip he had on me now. He pushed me over slightly so that now I was pressed between him and the counter. I moved my hands to run through his hair, I couldn't help but want him. Sam was perfect. He knew what to do to make me want him like this.

I closed my eyes, relishing in his mouth running across my neck, stopping at just the right spot. "Sam…" I whispered as he sucked on my neck, in the curve, making me sigh. I squirmed slightly in his arms, I thought I heard him laugh as he moved his warm lips downwards towards my chest. He stopped there and slid his hands up the back of the thin thank top I had on. I shivered, almost forgetting the running water in the sink next to us. I arched slightly and he took it as a sign to continue. Sam kissed me roughly as he started lifting my shirt. He paused, and looked at me, as if to ask first. I heard someone walking in the living room "Sam? Emily?" I froze and looked at him horrified, I shoved him away just as Helen walked in. I could feel my face burning as I turned the water off. Sam was looking at the wooden floor, "Hey mom".

Mrs. Uley stared at us for a moment before flushing herself "I guess I should start knocking before I just let myself in". Sam seemed to cringe 'Yeah, please.". She laid down a small wicker basket. "I got a few things I thought Emily would need until she can get to the store herself". She opened the top and pulled out things like Tylenol, pepto, and to Sam's horror. Tampons. 'Thanks' I told her appreciatively. Helen pulled out a bag of crushed herbs and roots. "Drink these once a week, it'll help your immune system out". I nodded as she took out a few other things she knew didn't have. I small cry made us all jump. Claire. I'd almost forgotten her. I hurried upstairs. "Who's baby?" Helen asked curiously as I went to get her. "Claire. Emily's niece."

I ran to the crying baby and picked her up, rubbing her back gently. "I'm sorry precious' I whispered to her. I carried her back downstairs with me. She'd quieted back down, Sam had already grabbed a bottle and warmed it and had it ready. Helen immediately wanted a turn holding her. I smiled as she played with the baby while she ate. Claire seemed to have that affect on everyone. Helen stayed and played with Claire and chatted easily with us until Jade came to get her. I hated to give her up. I wanted to keep her. I wanted a baby.

I sat down next to Sam on the couch, he was watching tv, only it looked like he was staring at it, not really watching it. I frowned at him "What's wrong?" Sam snapped out of it. "Just thinking is all" he put an arm around me. "I noticed you've been in a daze too". I shrugged and leaned against. "Just thinking" I said slyly. Sam laughed "Thinking on what?". I pulled at a thread on my shirt, "Claire" I said simply. Sam smiled faintly "She was sweet", I licked my lips, "Do you want kids?" I asked, not sure if I wanted an answer. Sam moved his arm around me. "Doesn't everyone? I want as many as I can have". I twiddled my fingers, "Can I ask you something else?" Sex was a topic, we hadn't really discussed.

Sam eyes looked at me curiously "Shoot". I kept my face down, "Was Leah the only one you had..?" Sam stiffened beside me. "Does it matter?" he said finally. I shrugged, "I was just curious. I mean we never really talked about this part". Sam turned around on the couch so that he was facing me. "I didn't think we had to". I scooted away from him "I know you were with her. She told me". Sam sighed "I figured she did, and yes she was the only one". I bit my lip slightly, thinking. "So it was only Leah then". He gave me a look "I told you she was. And yes, we were careful".

I felt satisfied I'd gotten the truth out of him. "Why are we even talking about this?" he wondered. I tried to keep my face cool, and unemotional. "I just thought after the kitchen earlier that we should". Sam rubbed the back of his neck, "And what do you think about us?" I met his eyes "I think you already know that. I promised I wouldn't do anything I'd regret later". Sam showed no signs of being uncomfortable now "I know. I could tell. Doesn't bother me".

I still hadn't quite got everything out that I wanted to say. Sam kissed my cheek. "I want---" A sharp knock came on the door. "Come in" Sam called out. The door opened. Paul and Jared of course. They averted their eyes away from us, I felt annoyed. They'd ruined it. I pulled away from Sam, allowing him to do his whole pack leader thing. I stood up from the couch, "I'm going to bed" I said looking at Sam. He nodded and seemed to dismiss me in a way. I said goodnight politely to the boys and headed upstairs. Another night lost.


	21. Chapter 21

Ok so you are all forewarned.. This is a major lemon chapter, if you dont wanna read it, you should skip this entire chapter lol. with that warning, I hope you guys leave me a few reviews on this.. also Id like to thank **Embry.a.k.'sluvr** for helping me out with this chapter, it was greatly appreciated.

Chapter 21 Happy Birthday!I drove Sam's truck to the doctor in Port Angeles. Today was my birthday. I hadn't seen Sam yet He'd been out all night with the two younger boys.

I smiled as I parked and headed inside. Today I would get to see how bad the damage was. It was still a happy day for me regardless. The scarring didn't bother me anymore. I had gotten use to going out in public now. I'd been at Sam's for a little over a week. We were still getting over the awkwardness of living together. It was nice to know though, that after today, I would have no restrictions. I sat in the waiting room, nervous. The stares from the other patients didn't even bother me today. I thought back to this morning. It was the first time this week that I didn't have breakfast waiting for the three wolves when they came in. A few days ago I'd noticed that there were two sides to Sam. Sam, the Alpha, calm and authoritative over the younger two, and my Sam. My Sam, who was amazingly sweet to me. He knew I was getting agitated with his being out all night, then taking off to work during the day. I was alone most of the day. I had felt so lonely since Claire went home.

I jumped as the doctor called my name and hurried back.

"So Ms. Young, I see here that you had an unfortunate accident". The old, gray, headed doctorlooked up from his clipboard. "A bear, correct?"I nodded quickly. I would go along with whatever fit. He washed his hands and examined where thestitches had been.

"They've healed very nicely. That Dr. Cullen knew what he was doing".

I cleared my throat "Will the scars fade, over time?"

Dr. Ortega shook his head sadly. "I'm afraid not. Not unless you have the surgeries to remove the scar tissue".

I stood up "No thank you, I decided against it".

Dr. Ortega scribbled his signature on a few pieces of paper. "Here's your clean bill of health then".

I took the papers and hurried out of the office, stopping to pay at the desk with Sam's debit card.I decided to stop off and pick up something different to wear. Something girlier. I'd noticed a few stores on my way into town. I drove around hunting for a department store. I finally parked after several tries. Sam's truck and I did not get along. It was way too big for me to easily park it, but it was big enough for Sam and his two henchmen so I suppose we'd have to keep it. I walked into the store, and immediately started flipping through a rack of dresses. I felt… more adult today.

I stopped when I a dark purple dress caught my eye. I pulled it from the rack and inspected it. It was my size, shorter than I would normally wear, but it was perfect. Very feminine but not overly so, it reached just below the middle of my thigh, the waist was fitted and sleeveless with buttons that reached to just above the hip in the front and then flowed out letting the dress hang gently. I held it up to myself. One look told me it would fit just right. I glanced at the price tag and frowned. I didn't really want to spend that much. On the other hand, it was my birthday. My 18th birthday.

I headed for the register before I could change my mind. The girl at the counter looked at me for a second before she carefully avoided making eye contact. I snatched my bag from her and hurried out of the store. On the way back to La Push, I mentally calculated how long I'd been with Sam. Three months. It seemed like longer than that.

We'd memorized every detail about each other already. I knew what he expected when he came home from work. He knew what to do to make me happy. We rarely argued. If we did, I always won. It was just easier to let me win than for him to risk losing his temper. I took advantage of that fact as much as possible. Jared, Paul, and Sam were like brothers now. Sam had to make frequent calls to their parents, assuring them that their sons were safely tucked away at our tiny house. Sam had a way of calming them down. He was still working on Paul's temper. It didn't take much to set him off. Around me though, both Jared and Paul were respectful and overly kind. I guess with Sam as their Alpha I was sort of the den mother. Sam didn't seem to notice that I was only a couple of years older than they were. He probably didn't care to be honest. I drove into La Push, feeling at ease and happy. I waved to the familiar faces as I passed them by. I pulled up to our tiny house and hopped out with my dress bag. I felt like fixing my hair up a bit nicer than I usually did. I hummed as I went inside. A dozen pink tulips were sitting on the coffee table. I admired them before reading the card attached to them. "Happy Birthday sweetheart, Love mom and dad". I smiled, I knew they wanted me to spend my birthday with them, but the circumstances just weren't the same. Inside the card was a crisp hundred dollar bill.

I picked up the flowers, placing them on the kitchen counter. Sam must have been here to accept the delivery but there was no sign of him.

I headed up the stairs to get dressed. I wasn't expecting to go anywhere really. I just wanted to look nice. I went into the bathroom, turning on my curling iron, then headed for the bedroom. I sat down on Sam's bed and started putting on my makeup, the concealer really helped with the redness of my scars.

After I finished I headed for the bathroom to start on my hair. I studied myself in the mirror as I curled my hair. I looked so different. I laughed, imaging Sam's reaction. I twirled my curls around, fluffing them into place. Voila I thought as I studied my reflection. I looked at my watch.

It had taken me almost an hour. I went back into Sam's room and slid out of my jeans and long sleeved shirt and into the dress. I pulled down on the hem nervously. I wasn't sure I could pull off this much leg. I slid on a pair of silver flats and headed down the stairs. Now what? I was all dressed up and had nothing to do.

The phone rang, I grabbed it quickly "Hello?"

"About time you got home." a husky voice said on the other end.

I smiled. " I've been back for a couple of hours. Did you let the florist in?"

"No. I haven't been home actually." I felt a prick of irritation. Helen, I'd be willing to bet money on it.

"Might have been mom" he said slowly. Sam was noticing more and more how it bothered me that she let herself in.

"Must have been. Do you need me to come get you?" I asked coyly.

Sam laughed "No, I have a way home, I just wanted to call and let you know that I didn't forget.".

I knew Sam hadn't forgotten about my birthday. Today meant something else for Sam, it meant he wasn't harboring a runaway any more.

"When will you be here?" I said softly.

"Soon. I gotta finish a few things first though, check on the boys".

I didn't let it bug me today. "I'll be here then,".

"I would hope so" he said silkily.

I walked around in circles talking to him "I guess I'll let you get back to work so you can come home soon". "I'll see you soon. Love you baby". He hung up before I could say anything back.

I put the phone down and started straightening up the living room. I folded up the wool blankets Jared and Paul had used the night before and put them on the back of the couch. Hopefully Sam had told them not to come around tonight. I was determined to have one undisturbed night alone. I sat down and flipped through the different channels, trying to find something. I decided on a re run of Happy Days. I zoned out and watched TV for a while.

********************************************************************************

I heard him before I saw him. I jumped up and flung open the door. Sam looked at me surprised. His arms were laden with brown take out bags and balloons and roses. I took the roses and balloons from him,

"You didn't have to get all of this". I said.

Sam grinned at me as he made his way to the kitchen and let the bags drop on the table. In a flash he had taken the flowers from me and tossed them on the counter. He turned towards me, his eyes looked me up and down appreciatively. I tugged on the hem of the dress again.

"You look great". He said in a loving voice.

I pretended to shrug it off. "I know" I joked. Sam pulled me into his arms,

"Happy birthday".

I kissed him full force. I pulled back, seeing the surprised look on his face, I hadn't been able to do this in a while.

Sam's hands were everywhere. It had been three days since we'd been able to have a private moment together.

He pressed his hand against the small of my back, pulling me closer. "You're so beautiful" he said softly. He reached up and carefully wiped the makeup off the right side of my face. His thumb moved along my scars, tracing them. "Don't cover them, I want to see them". I nodded, I wouldn't do it again. "It's a part of you". Sam kissed my face, and down my arm where they stopped.

"Come on, I got dinner for us. I didn't think you'd want to go out anywhere". I moved to get plates, but he stopped me "Sit down, I can do it". I hesitated a moment before sitting down at the table.

Sam had gotten us Italian food, my favorite. I was so wound up I hardly touched it though. It was dark out now.

"Are the boys coming by?" I asked hesitantly. Sam shook his head

"No. I told them to run patrol and to not stop by tonight unless there was an emergency that one of the elders couldn't handle for them". I felt relief wash over me followed by excitement.

"What about your mom?" I always tried to keep back how I felt about her intrusions. I loved Mrs. Uley to death, but she just didn't seem to realize when it was ok for her to come over and that it might be a good idea to stop letting herself in.

"I told her we were going somewhere in Seattle". I nodded, wondering how he knew I'd want complete peace and quiet.

"I know this hasn't been easy for you Emily, I know I'm not around as much as you'd like. I know that having the boys around is infringing on your time too". His eyes were soft as he looked into mine "But I do care about you, more than you'll ever know. I don't want you to feel like you have to stay here in this house like a housewife or something. I love you and you can do whatever you want to". I listened to him talk, his voice was like candy for my ears.

"I love you too" I meant it with all of my heart. Sam reached across the table and took my hands in his.

"Ok birthday girl, what do you want to do next?" I shrugged

"Lets just watch a movie upstairs, I'm worried that if we stay down here the phone will ring or someone will stop by". I was being selfish today. Sam stood up and motioned for me to go on up

"I'm gonna turn out the lights down here," He said giving me a sly grin.

"Unplug the phone and dead bolt the doors". I giggled at him "Sometimes I think we need to do that on a nightly basis". Sam laughed and kissed me.

"I'll be right up I promise".

I laughed as I went upstairs. I went into the bathroom and started wiping off my makeup. I shimmied out of the dress. It had done its work. I peeked downstairs before I padded into -Sam's room and grabbed a long plain white cotton sleeveless t-shirt and slipped it on. It stopped mid thigh, nothing special. I rifled through the DVDs he had upstairs until I found one I hadn't seen and popped it in. I was sliding in between the sheets when Sam came in carrying a small pink wrapped box. I sat back up.

"You shouldn't have gotten me anything else". I shook my head as he handed it to me.

"I didn't spend money on it I swear". He had a small smile on his face as I unwrapped it. In the box was a woven bracelet. I looked up at him,

"It's a Quileute promise ring" he explained. "It just shows that someday…" I was already sliding it on. Sam kissed the wrist I'd put it on.

"Glad you like it". I patted the bed next to me

"Lay down for a bit" I badgered him. Sam nodded

"I will, just let me get out of this". He turned around grabbing his usual sweatpants from the dresser where I'd put them away. For the first time, I didn't bother to look away as he undressed. Sam smirked at me as I watched him unbutton the jeans he was wearing and step out of them. I couldn't help but stare. It was my first real glimpse of Sam with only his boxers on. He was gorgeous. He had muscles everywhere, literally. He pulled his sweats on and moved to lie down beside me.

"It feels good to lay down at the same time as you". I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Maybe we won't have to pretend to go out of town next time". Sam drummed his fingers against my bare thigh,

"Maybe" He agreed. I slid my fingers along his neck, making him shiver. "That feels good" he whispered closing his eyes. I traced circles,

"Can I ask you something?" I whispered back, it was almost like we were afraid to talk too loud.

"Anything". He replied. I swallowed hard

"Can I--?" I stopped, chickening out before I even got half of the words out. Sam's eyes opened

"Can you what?" he prodded. I moved my hand to his cheek.

" Nothing it was stupid". I knew I wouldn't be able to ask now. Babies had been on my mind since I baby sat for Claire. I wanted one. It was ridiculous I knew, I hadn't even done anything to have a baby and yet I wanted one so badly. I felt that a child would fill some of the loneliness in my heart. Sam looked at me closely

"If you say so, but if you want to ask then ask". I smiled at him, changing the subject

"You're not even watching the movie". I said. I hadn't been paying any attention either. Sam glanced at the TV.

"It's not as nice to look at as you are". I suddenly had the urge to slide my leg over his side. Sam bit his lip, not knowing what to do. I leaned in closer, breathing in his woodsy smell.

"Did I already mention how much I love you?" he said softly before he kissed me. I kissed him back, eagerly, we didn't have to be so gentle now.

Sam moved over me, pushing me onto my back and pulling my leg around his waist. I tensed underneath him, making him hesitate,

"I can stop" he whispered. I shook my head and kissed him, pulling him closer. He broke the kiss, moving down my neck, his kiss was not as chaste as the last time, he opened his mouth letting me feel his hot breath, sucking gently.

That did it.

I pulled at him trying to get closer "Mmmm" I murmured wrapping my other leg around him. I felt like I couldn't control myself anymore. I wanted him so badly.

My mind flashed back to every promise I'd ever made myself about waiting. I didn't want to do this. On the other hand I didn't want to stop either. A thought popped into my head. Sam and Leah, complete with mental images. I'd almost forgotten, almost. I recoiled, pulling my mouth from his.

"What's wrong?" he whispered.

"Nothing. Nervous" I whispered back, running my hand through his hair. He'd let it grow out a bit, I liked it better this way.

"It's okay, just tell me" his tone was loving. I nodded. Pulling him close to me. His body felt hot against mine. I'd almost ruined it for myself. I pressed my mouth against his, tasting him.

Sam took my hand placing it on his hip. I squeezed his hips in-between my thighs, wanting to get as close as I could to him, I could feel him, hard against me, making me want him even more.

Sam kissed my scars. I closed my eyes as he moved down my neck. He stopped, pulling back slightly, as he moved his warm hands underneath my nightgown. He hesitated, looking into my eyes, I stared back, I wanted him to see that I wouldn't regret this.. I lifted my arms, letting him take it off. Sam pulled back, staring at me. I blushed, as his eyes studied me. He moved back in-between my legs.

"Don't be so shy" he said softly. I was melting into a puddle of weakness. I wasn't sure what to do now. He moved his hands over me, touching every inch of me. He stopped, keeping his eyes on me as he leaned towards the night stand. I felt panicky. I grabbed his hand before he could reach in the drawer.

"No. Don't." Sam's eyes filled with a question

"Don't as in stop? Or don't as in don't use a condom?" he asked softly. I knew this might be my only chance to tell him what was on my mind.

"I want.. I want a.." I couldn't force the word out.

Sam seemed to understand what I meant. Surprise came over his face. "Are you sure?" he said concerned. I nodded pulling him back to me

"If it happens it happens I guess" he said quietly. I was relieved he finally knew my intentions. We were tangled in each other's arms again in a moment. I knew I wouldn't regret this.

I felt him tugging off my panties next, I shut my eyes, as his hands stayed there "Relax" I heard Sam whisper to me as held me close to him. I closed my eyes trying to calm my nerves. Sam's eyes stayed locked onto mine as he explored my body with his hands, I let my eyes close, as a moan escaped my lips,

"Don't close your eyes" he said softly.

He kissed me lips, leaving a trail of wet, soft kisses down my neck, moving lower. I felt him kiss the inside of each of my thighs before I felt his tongue darting in between my folds. I gasped out loud, arching my back. Amazing. With each stroke of his tongue, I moaned, my knees feeling weak.

I clutched at the sheets for a moment before my hands clung to his back, unable to control myself. Finally, he pulled away from me, an uncertain look on his face as he removed the rest of his clothes.

"It's going to hurt" he said softly. I nodded, mesmerized by his naked form. I figured it would.

"I trust you" I whispered back. I wrapped my arms around him,

"Tell me if you want me to stop" he said as he moved to hold his weight off me. I felt him push my legs further apart, I was feeling nervous again.

"You have to relax" he whispered in my ear. I tried to will myself to calm down as I felt him push against me. I couldn't help but wince and squirm away. It hurt, bad and he wasn't even close to being all the way inside of me. I could feel his hot breath on me as he pushed a little further. I almost cried out from the pain.

"Shh... It's okay, I'll stop" he said as he kissed me softly. I shook my head. I knew this was torture for him and in spite of the pain I still wanted him. Sam pressed his mouth on mine roughly as he pushed again, muffling my loud cry. We were completely together now, but he didn't move. He looked into my eyes for a sign that it was okay. I nodded, pressing my hands into his back as he started to thrust slowly, not wanting to rush it.

"Ooh. Ah. Sam" I whispered as I wiggled under him, it felt. Uncomfortable at first. Then the pain faded away. I moaned as he moved harder against me with each new thrust. I dug my nails into his back, as he lifted my left leg around his waist,

"god.. Emily" he muttered as he buried his face in my hair. I couldn't take it. I lifted my other leg around him, making him growl lowly from the feeling of the new position. I shocked myself when I bit down on his shoulder, a series of moans and gasps were coming from me. I heard another growl escape from his lips. I pushed his face towards mine and kissed him,

I wanted every bit of Sam.

I clutched him gasping out loud as he suddenly quit being so gentle. "Sam--" I managed to say, wanting to tell him to stop. He heard me say his name and took it differently and kissed my neck, biting it.

He was getting more into it now than before if that were possible. So much into it that I was starting to feel sore, "Sam" I whimpered, as I felt his thumb press on my nub, the pain quickly disappeared as a felt a jolt of pure pleasure rush through me, becoming more intense with each new thrust. His growling was more like a purr now; I moved my hands to his hair, tugging at it. This was a different, more wolfish side that I hadn't seen before and I liked it. I was gasping now, unable to form a thought let alone words as I climaxed, It was euphoric. Sam spasmed against me, my own body shuddered as I gripped him, trying to hold him in place, not wanting him to stop now.

"Emily' I he whispered as he turned my face to his and kissed me. He moved to lay down beside me, pulling me to his chest,

"I'm so sorry" he whispered. I kissed him back, trying to show him it was okay. I hugged him tightly, his eyes held only love.

"I shouldn't have…."he said softly.

I pulled away from Sam and looked at him hesitantly. I wasn't sure what to say. It wasn't what I'd been expecting, it was better.

Sam looked me, "Come here" he said quietly, pulling me against him. I let him pull me into his arms. I could feel his chest rising up and down as he took in deep breaths. He kissed the top of my head through my now straight hair. The curl was gone from it completely. I laid there in his arms, content and happy. I gazed up at him, his eyes met mine,

"Are you… ok?" he asked. I nodded slowly. Sam rubbed my back.

"I didn't mean to hurt you" he apologized for the fifth time. "I just.. You felt.. " he wasn't sure how to explain it to me. I knew I was blushing. "It's just me" he said blankly. I knew what he meant. After tonight, there would be no boundaries for us. No more childishness.

I was sore, I knew that. I glanced over at the clock. It was four. An entire night and half the morning spent together. It was probably going to be awhile before we'd be able to have a moment alone like this again.

Sam seemed to know how everything was supposed to go between us. I was figuring this out little by little. Now he was mine.

"Do you want anything?" he asked me carefully. I shook my head. He frowned at me "You can speak you know, its okay". I swallowed hard

"I know" I said softly. "I just.. I don't know how to explain it". Sam pulled the blankets up, even with his body heat, I was still chilly.

"Are you mad..?" I smiled at that.

"No, I'm not mad". Sam kissed my forehead. "Sam," I said "That was…" I laughed "Amazing." I laughed again as he smiled down at me "I'm happy. Happy you went along with me wanting a… baby so soon". Sam sighed

"I don't think we've been together long enough yet but I'll let fate decide what happens," I was more than willing to take that.

"I don't think I'll be as lonely, ever since I saw Claire the thought has been in my head".

"It feels like we've been together longer than three months" Sam said wistfully. He moved, reaching over the side of the bed. He grabbed his boxers and stood up to put them on. I started to look away like I always did, but stopped myself. I watched him trying not to stare. Perfect.

"Will you bring me something to put on?" I asked shyly. Sam nodded and tossed me a couple things.. I started to crawl out of the bed and groaned inwardly. It hurt to move. I pulled on my clothes and turned around to find Sam staring at me, smiling. I smiled back at him and then looked down, blushing. I walked carefully into the bathroom trying not to move too much, shutting the door behind me, I stared at myself in the mirror. I was flushed, my face was red in splotches.

I ran a brush through my hair and pulled it up. I stopped and leaned closer to the mirror. Great, I thought to myself. I touched the spots on my neck. I was covered in hickeys. I went to the bathroom, my heart jolted at first when I saw the blood. I knew it was from losing my virginity, but still, it freaked me out. I glanced at the bath tub, I wondered if it would be rude to take a shower. I shook the thought from my head, and ran some water and wet a wash cloth and wiped my face off. I opened the door back up and stepped out into the hallway. A light was on downstairs.

"Sam?" I said as I walked gingerly down the stairs. I held onto the rail as I walked down.

"I'm in here". his deep voice answered. I followed the light into the kitchen. Sam was standing there, downing a glass of water. "I was coming back in a minute". I took the glass from him and had a sip,

"I know you were, I was just seeing what you were doing". I set the glass back down "Look". I pointed. Sam looked at my neck

"Sorry. It'll go away soon". As if to prove it, he kissed my neck lightly. "Come on". In a quick motion he lifted me into his arms easily, and carried me off upstairs.

"I could have walked".

"You don't want to though". he said curtly. He sat me on the edge of the bed. "I'm not even sure what to do, we've never been alone all night and most of the morning". I laughed

"I know, we should make a habit out of it though". I scooted over so he could lay next to me. Sam's hand rested on my abdomen as we watched the movie we'd started long ago. It felt like a normal relationship for a while. No werewolf talk.


	22. Chapter 22

Allright guys, I want your opinions on Paul and Jared, lol. so pm me or leave me a review!! thanks for reading :)

Chapter 22 Once in a while

I looked out the small kitchen window, Sam got up early and went to find the others. I was standing at the stove waiting for the pancakes to get done. I had my hair down, pushed around my neck. I reached over the stove and flipped the pancakes. A few more minutes and they'd be done.

I turned and grabbed the syrup and put it on the table, along with juice for the boys and coffee for Sam. I'd noticed a few purplish bruises along my arms. They were as big as Sam's hands when they were wrapped on me last night. I had a few on my sides too. I put the giant stack of pancakes down on the table and sat down to wait. I had to practically shove Sam out of the door. I needed a few moments completely alone.

I started eating without them, what was taking them so long? I wondered. I drank a bit of juice, I kept thinking back the memories. The back door opened, and I rose automatically. "I was getting worried" I said cheerfully. I smiled at the two boys following behind Sam. "Breakfast is on the table". They both avoided looking at me "Uh.. Thanks" Jared finally said. Paul didn't say a word as he sat down and started eating at a fast pace. Sam was watching them closely, like he was waiting for them to do something. "Aren't you going to eat?" I prodded Sam. "In a minute" he said in his sterner voice.

I frowned up at him, that was different. "Why is everyone acting so strange?" I finally asked. Paul and Jared looked at each other, I could have sworn I saw them wink. It hit me. They'd saw everything this morning once Sam phased.

I sputtered, then caught myself "I think I need to.. Do something upstairs". I whirled around and took off upstairs. No wonder they couldn't look me in the face. My face was burning as I went into the spare room and pretended to straighten it up. I stayed up there messing around until I was sure they were gone. I went back downstairs, "Why did you show them that?" I demanded of Sam where he sat eating. Sam didn't look at me either. "Its not like I had a choice". I fumed "You could have thought about something else!". I snatched the plate he was eating from out from under him and dumped everything in the trash, I tossed the plate into the sink and grabbed his coffee cup next. Sam was looking at me like I was crazy.

Sam leaned back in the chair, "I'm sorry, I can't help it. Its not like they haven't saw what I imagined before last night anyways". I glared at him angrily, "I didn't even feel comfortable with you seeing me, much less them". I felt hot, angry tears running down my cheeks. Sam moved to comfort me, I jerked back from him "I don't want to sleep with you again" I snapped at him. "Not if they entire pack gets to see us, its supposed to be an intimate moment not a public one". Sam looked like he'd been slapped. "Emily, I didn't mean to, its not like I told them with my own mouth or anything. It just.. Happens when they see things". His tone was calm. Calmer than usual. I must have hit a nerve.

"You shouldn't have let them see" I said shakily. My sight blurred as I started to cry. I was embarrassed beyond belief. I knew in a way I being ridiculous, but I didn't care. Sam slowly moved to hug me, afraid I'd push him again. "I'm so sorry, if I could keep it away from them I would Em, its not like I like them being able to see that". I sniffled, burying my face into his shoulder, "I know but they did see. I want to crawl under a rock or something". Sam rubbed my back soothingly. "Its okay if you still don't want to…." He hugged me tightly against him "I understand and all, but you can't exactly have a baby if we don't". I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand.. "I know that". I closed my eyes, trying to decide what would be the better decision.

"Can't you order them not to see it?" I asked softly. Sam laughed, his chest vibrated, "I don't think it works like that". I pulled away from him "They didn't have to wink". I went to the sink and started washing the dishes. "I'm sorry I threw your food away, I can fix you something else if you want?" Sam shook his head no, "I think we have company" he said lowly watching out the window.

I followed his gaze. My mom. I felt my stomach flip flop. "I wonder what she wants". I dried my hands off on the towel and went to the door before she could even knock on it. I patted my hair around my shoulders, and opened it slowly. "Hey mom" I said warmly. My mom smiled back at me. "Hi kitten, I just wanted to stop and make sure you got the flowers and money I sent yesterday. I was on my way to Aunt Sue's for a bit". She was looking around the house, just like last time. I crossed my arms in front of me nervously. "I got them, I meant to call you and tell you thanks but I got kinda busy". Her eyes flashed down to me. They stopped on my arms. I immediately moved put them behind my back. "What happened sweetie?" she said worriedly. She tried prying one of them from behind me. I moved back from her "Nothing, just bumped into something is all" I knew she wouldn't buy it.

"Is that what he told you to say?" she snapped back. "Why don't you just come home with me?" I sighed "Sam didn't do this to me mom". I heard Sam clear his throat loudly. I turned around quickly, "Its okay" I said trying to make sure he was calm. Sam had a menacing look on his face as he spoke to my mother "I didn't do anything to her. And I don't like you just coming in here making accusations either, I think you should go now". I was torn. I wanted my mom to talk to me friendly like we had started out, I didn't like Sam's tone with her though. My mom stared Sam down "I will leave, but I will be back to see my daughter'. She glanced at me "You just call when you're ready to come back home where you belong". I watched sadly as my mom left the house, slamming the door behind her.

I immediately turned my anger to Sam. "Why did you do that?" . Sam gave me that do as I say look "Because she was wrong. She thinks I'm hurting you or something, I can't stand the idea that she has created in her mind". I gave him a look of hatred "Don't treat me like one of your followers" I said harshly as I walked away from him. If we were going to argue, I wasn't standing so close.

"You would rather her think I did that out of meanness instead of love?" he snapped back at me, pointing at my arms. "I don't think she should come back, all she does it cause problems every time she shows up". I saw red for a moment as I lost it on him, "And its ok for your nosy mother to let herself into our house unannounced? And just walk around snooping almost seeing us with each other? Or taking it upon herself to come in while we're both gone? If my mother can't come over, neither can yours!" I was shouting at him now. "I need my family as much as you need yours, your selfish you know that!" I grabbed the blue china pitcher vase and chunked it at Sam as hard as I could. I heard it shatter.

"What the hell has gotten into you lately?" Sam was saying back. "One minute you love me and my mother, the next minute your throwing stuff at me like a crazy lady". "I don't think your mature enough for a baby right now". The words made their cut on me. "Don't you dare bring that into this!" I snapped at him. Sam scoffed it seemed "And why not? I felt anger rushing through me "If I had a baby that would mean your nosy mother would be over here even more wouldn't it? And maybe I don't want to carry your stupid puppies anymore!". Sam glowered for a moment, his shape blurred slightly, he gave me a terrifying look as he fled out of the house at a fast pace. I yelled after him "Sure just run away, it seems you're great at leaving girls the day after!".

I watched him as he ran off into the woods, I knew he was phasing, not being able to control his self any longer. I looked over where he'd been standing at the busted vase. I wasn't even going to bother to pick the pieces up. I was still fuming when I saw Helen pulling up, she waved as she got out of her car. I only glared at her 'Where's Sam?" she called out. I threw her a dirty look as I stomped my way up the stairs, "I don't know, he did what he's good at. He left" I slammed the bedroom door behind me and locked it. I sank down on the floor beside it, crying. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to live together after all.

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I sat on the porch in the pitch black waiting. I'd been waiting for a while now. My eyes were puffy from crying. When I had finally unlocked the door, Helen had left. She'd picked up all the pieces of the pitcher and put them on the counter and apparently picked up Sam's now shredded clothes. I shivered sitting there in the cool night air. "Please come home" I whispered aloud knowing Sam couldn't hear me.

I felt terrible about the hateful things I'd yelled at him. Then again, he'd said terrible things to me. I was hoping we could just call it even and make up. I didn't want to be without Sam. I was already feeling the hole in my chest from being apart. I stared at the forest, waiting for him to come out. He'd been gone for hours. I wasn't sure how long it'd take to calm down again. I needed to call Helen and apologize too I knew. I wasn't ready to push my pride that far down yet though.

I heard a rustle in the bushes and jumped up "Sam?" I said slowly. I bit my lip hesitantly, hoping he wasn't still mad at me. Sam appeared wearing a pair of cargo shorts and nothing else. "Emily" he said back. He stood a few paces off the porch. I wasn't sure how to tell how embarrassed and sorry I was now that he was here. I looked at him, hoping he could see it in my eyes. Finally he moved towards me, his head bent down. "I want to tell you how embarrassed and sorry I am" I whispered to him. I blinked back the emotions that were rising. "I shouldn't have did that. I shouldn't have yelled at you. I don't know why I said those things, I didn't mean them". I trembled waiting for him to say something.

"I didn't mean to break the vase either. I shouldn't have thrown that at you". Why wouldn't he say anything? I wondered. Sam finally spoke in a low, sad voice "I'm sorry too. I pushed it too far when I said that about the baby thing". He moved onto the porch "I knew when I was pushing it too far and I kept digging at you". I held out my arms for him and in a swift move he was hugging me. "You scared me, acting like that" he whispered. "I've never seen you.. So.. Out of it like that". I nodded, knowing that the day he had hurt me, wasn't even as bad as this.

Sam kissed me gently "I don't like fighting like this,". I knew what he meant. "I don't want to, I think everything was just building up inside of me. Last night, today's first argument, and the tension with your mom, I let everything get to me". Sam was tugging me into the house. "You've been so good to me". Sam grabbed a one of the woven blankets off the back of the couch and wrapped it around me. "We're both to blame" he said matter of factly. "At least we know we can argue without me phasing in a snap when you push me though". I smiled slightly "I tried to stand back to be on the safe side". Sam pushed me down onto the couch and went in the kitchen, talking loudly enough so that I could hear him. "Don't be so afraid of me".

I got up and went to see what he was doing. I didn't like him being in there. "I can fix whatever you want". I watched him as he emptied some of Helen's herbs into a hot cup of water and stirred them around. I took it as he pushed it towards me. "Thank you". Sam only nodded at me and plundered around until he found what he was looking for. Scotch. I shook my head as he poured a shot of it and swallowed. He turned towards me, "I saw my mom was here".

I winced. "I didn't mean to be hateful to her either". I felt bad for treating Helen the way I did earlier. Sam sighed as he put the bottle back up and pushed the cup towards me again. "Drink it' he ordered. I took a small sip to satisfy him. "What is this?" I asked warily. Sam smiled at me lopsided "Just something to help calm you". I sipped it again. "Will you please tell me its okay?" I was feeling like I needed some iron clad evidence of everything being okay between us. Sam hugged me tightly "Its okay I promise. I'm not mad at you. I'm not even irritated with you. I just want to get you upstairs and get you to fall asleep and let the day be over".

I drew back and downed what was left in the cup and put it in the sink, "Come on. I'm tired". I turned out the lights downstairs and dead bolted the door. Sam was already upstairs when I had finished. I felt relieved as I headed up after Sam, I couldn't stand him mad at me for too long. I went in the dimly lit room and saw Sam already laying down, half asleep. I smiled to myself as I slid on pajamas. A second night completely alone and it was to be spent in awkwardness of a whole new level.


	23. Chapter 23

Thanks for the reviews guys, it makes me feel good to get them. Hope this chapter makes you laugh :)

Chapter 23 Trouble

I looked around at all the bright, shiny furniture. I had dropped Sam off at work and decided today was a good of day of any to look for new furniture. I walked through the store, pausing to look at different sets of couches. I didn't see anything so far that looked down it wouldn't break under any of the pack.

I leaned down to look at the price of an attractive while leather couch "Miss? Do you need some help?" a cheerful, friendly voice asked. I straightened back up "Oh. Hi" I said smiling at her. I fiddled with my purse. "I was just looking for a lot of things actually".

The lady looked at me curiously "If you don't mind my asking, aren't you Sam Uley's girl friend?". I wasn't sure if telling her yes was good or not. "Actually.. I am. I'm Emily" I held out my hand, the woman wrapped me in a hug unexpectedly. "I'm so happy to finally meet you" she said as she pulled away. "I'm Mrs. Kimkirk. Paul's mother?" she kept on talking animatedly. "I've been so grateful to everything your Sam's been doing for her. Paul's really changed for the better. I used to worry about him all the time".

I smiled at her, "Paul's a good kid, he's actually really polite". Mrs. Kimkirk seemed thrilled with my compliments "Sam's been great with the youth around here, its just too bad he didn't go away to school like he'd planned". I nodded, she hardly needed encouragement though, "It must be terrible for you to live there with all those kids in and out". I laughed at that "The boys don't bother me. I like having them around. So does Sam".

Mrs. Kimkirk got a different type of smile on her face "And to think. You're barely more than a child yourself and already setting the examples for all the others, not many of the women in town have seen you out, we've all been wondering when we heard.. Well.. When we about your accident". I looked at her, wondering, "Example?" I said slowly. She nodded, "Of course, now that he's a council member, you're looked up to automatically. Especially since you're the youngest pair on there". I hadn't realized this council member thing was that big of a deal. I thought it meant Sam got to sit in on meetings and things. I didn't know everyone in the tribe would look at him like my uncle Harry.

The kind woman reached over and patted my back "You're doing fine. Sam will make a good husband for you. Everyone already says great things about how he puts the tribe and our land first. All while working to help his poor mother out since he was a child. Poor Helen, now that's another story" she said in a tell tale voice. I forced a smile at her "I've heard" I didn't want to hear about it. I didn't want to think about Helen. I still felt bad for yelling at her even though Sam had called her and told her what had happened. "Now, why don't I show you this set over here? Its more conventional". I followed after her, letting her talk me into the furniture. Sam didn't care either way, he could care less if I brought home a cot.

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After I'd shopped for groceries and dropped a deposit off at the bank I headed back home to get dinner ready for my family. I was still kind of wary of seeing Paul and Jacob again. I couldn't help but feel embarrassed still. I started unloading the groceries, tugging them into the house. I'd learned to buy way more than what was needed for me and Sam alone.

I bent over pulling on a heavier one, a hand reached down and picked it up easily. I turned around, Sam was on the other side of the truck bed with Paul and Jared making them help me. "We got this" he said not looking at me. I nodded and fled for the house, not wanting to look at them. I started boiling water in a big pot and grabbed a few salts and spices from the top cabinet as they came in, 'Just put them down, I'll put everything up". I felt Sam's hand on my lower back, and his lips on my neck for a brief moment before he retreated with the younger two.

I dumped noodles into the water and stirred them around. I checked the sauce I had bubbling on the other side of the stove. "Sam?" I called out as I stepped into the doorway of the kitchen and living room. I needed him to come get the overflowing trash . Sam loped in, he'd already taken his shirt off and changed into short. "What you need sweetie?" he said in a soft, sweet voice, so low they couldn't hear him in the next room. I let my eyes linger on his chest a moment, "You.. You to take the garbage out. Everything's almost done". Sam smirked at me as he leaned in and kissed me roughly, "They'll be gone soon" he whispered through my hair. Just as quickly as he'd kissed me, he let go and disappeared out the back door.

I stood back cautiously as I put the giant pot of spaghetti on the table for them. Paul and Jared both said their thanks at the same moment. I held back a laugh as Paul growled lowly at Jared when he snatched a piece of garlic bread from him. Sam was talking over their banter "So I give him two week at most, Embry's next. I can feel it".

I frowned when I heard Embry's name. His mother was from my reservation. Not Quileute. Paul swallowed before he spoke "Well, I'm ready to do something a little more fun that run around the woods all night. I'm ready to shred some leeches". Jared seconded, nodding until he gulped down some soda "Same here, I'm sick of sitting around listening to your guys boring ass thoughts all night". Paul laughed loudly, sounding like a donkey. "I'm definitely over that". Sam gave them a sharp look. Both boys quieted down.

They finished eating in silence. Sam moved to start putting the dishes in the sink for me "I can do it. You guys go hang out". Sam gave me a quick look of wanting before he went to watch tv with them. I started cleaning up the mess, muttering as I wiped down the counters. I messed around in the kitchen for an hour at least. I looked at the clock. It was already eight thirty. I'd been up since six with Sam, I liked to get up and see him before he left for work. I walked off into the living room where the boys were poised on the couch watching Spike tv. "I'm going upstairs for a while". I said loudly so that Sam could hear me over the roar of the tv. He nodded curtly and motioned that it was okay. Like I needed his permission I thought agitated.

I headed up stairs and stopped to grab a few things that were out of place. Wondering how much longer it would be for them to leave I changed into a set of lingerie I'd bought with the purple dress for my birthday. I was still mustering up the courage for it. It didn't leave much open for the imagination. Not that the two downstairs had anything left to imagine anyways. I moved around the room, straightening up. I paused at the nightstand and pulled open the top drawer. There they were. I snatched up the pack of condoms and put them in the bag the lingerie had been in and shoved them to the bottom of the trash can. There.

I laid down on the bed on my side, hoping I looked seductive. I moved around, pulling down on the skimpy red lace, trying to get comfortable. I laid my head down on the pillows I'd arranged in a mound, I wouldn't fall asleep. I would wait up for Sam…… I drifted off peacefully.

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I was freezing. I moved my arm out for Sam. There was nothing but air beside me on the bed. I frowned and sat up. No wonder I was cold. Sam wasn't here and I wasn't wearing much of anything. I patted down my hair, I must have slept for a while I decided as I headed down the hallway for the stairs. I was walking down the first few "Sam?" I said sleepily. I was halfway down now. All the lights were still on I realized. I froze and turned to go back up. Paul's deep voice boomed out "Don't you mean.. Saaaaammmm?" he said in a falsetto voice. I could hear him and Jared laughing. Sam's loud growl rose above them. Forgetting what I was wearing I flew down the next few stairs. "Hey nice pajamas" Jared said slyly.

I stopped and crossed my arms over myself. Sam was growling even louder at them "Close you eyes now" he demanded at them. Both boys had quit laughing. Sam flung a blanket at me. "Put that on' he ordered me. I wrapped it around myself just as Jared's eyes opened again "I've already saw everything you have Sam," he shot off. I snapped at him "And you better get used to it too, used to thinking about something else because it will happen again. Probably every night for a month if you're not careful and maybe Sam will rip your throat out for you". I gave Sam an angry look "I'm ready for them to go home",

Sam was standing, almost crouched it seemed. "Go home." he said in a strained voice. Paul shot me a worried look "I was just playing honest". Jared was putting a jacket he didn't need on "I'm sorry". I didn't say anything to them as they went out the door, heads hung low, if they'd been phased, their tails would have between their legs.

I locked the door behind them, "I didn't know they were down here or I wouldn't have came down dressed like this I swear". Sam was taking deep breath, calming his self. I wrapped my arms on him, not afraid of him at all "Its not that. I just cant. Listen when someone says something I don't like about you, it makes me so mad that I want to…." he shook the thought from his head. I kissed his neck "Calm down". Sam closed his eyes for a moment, when he opened them, he was pulling the blanket off that he'd thrown at me, "This is different" he said with a grin, all anger gone.

I shrugged and pulled the blanket back around myself "I think all seductiveness is gone now". Sam ran his hands up and down my sides, rubbing them, I saw him smile slightly when I flinched as his hands ran down to my hips. "Come on. Let's make you more comfortable". I felt his arms under me and I was being carried upstairs. "I thought you didn't want puppies anymore?" he joked. I let him drop me onto my back and pulled him down with me "I want as many babies as I can have and you know it". Sam laughed as I kissed him, "You look nervous still" he commented as I let my fingers roll through his hair. I didn't answer him, hoping we could get through this a little easier tonight.

Sam kissed my neck gently, not wanting to mark it anymore, "They're going to see this" he whispered as his hands traced the shape of my hips. I wiggled underneath him "I don't care, I'll learn to live with it, sometime". I couldn't help but moan lightly as he ran his tongue over my ear. "I'm waiting for something to interrupt us" I whispered to him as I tugged his pajama bottoms off. "I'll ignore it" he said lowly as he kissed me roughly. "Be gentle" I warned him "I don't need more bruises". Sam only smiled as he wrapped me in his arms. I could only think of one thing. I was going to get what I wanted out of him.


	24. Chapter 24

Thanks everyone for reviewing, im going to start bringing in more vampire action little by little, just to keep it all accurate. Hope you like it!

Chapter 24 The smell of fear

(((picks up like 5 or 6 weeks later when Laurent James and Victoria are all in Forks)))

I could feel my nerves in my stomach. I was headed towards the Clearwaters. Sam was out running around with the pack today. There were vampires out there. They could smell them, I didn't like to think on the thought of Sam fighting with them. I knew good and well that Sam would have to the one to challenge the trespassers. He'd assured me that he'd be fine, he could handle a few vampires no problem.

That didn't mean I had to like it though. Sam had made me promise to stay in the house all day with the doors locked, but I couldn't sit there while he was out. To top it all off, he could feel the other boy, Embry about to phase at any moment which meant Sam was spending more and more time in his wolf form. I'd tried to convince him that it was ok to come inside phased, he could sleep on the foot of the bed and still hear Embry when he popped into the pack mind. But he refused to be so close to me.

I couldn't help but be jealous that the pack could hear his thoughts and I couldn't even hear his voice. I went four days without seeing him except for when he showed up to call and check on Embry. Any plans for a baby were definitely delayed. It was hard to go without him for so long. I hated vampires for taking Sam so far from me, where I couldn't even tell if he was okay or not. I was tired of Helen for the week. She always seemed to prod at me, looking for something though I wasn't sure what.

I'd left a note on the counter for Sam, knowing chances were slim that he'd even know I was gone anyways. I'd made some brownies to take with me over to my family's house. I wanted to try and ease the situation between us. It was sad that we were living so close and weren't speaking except for Sam passing messages to me from my uncle. I pulled up to the house, I started to turn around and drive back away but couldn't make myself do it. I reached for the plate of brownies and got out of Sam's truck slowly. I shut the door and walked towards the house trying to keep my calm.

"Emily!" I heard an excited voice yell. I grinned happily, Seth was bouncing towards me at full speed. He'd grown some. I winced as he wrapped me into a tight bear hug. "I've missed you" . I grinned at my younger cousin "I've missed you too. All of you". Seth looked behind me at Sam's truck. "So its true huh?". I kept the grin on my face "It is. We're happy though". Seth hugged me again "Sam's a nice guy,

Seth opened the door to the house and we walked in. I looked around, nothing had changed much since I had last been here. "Mom! Dad! Emily's here!" Seth belted out as he led me to the kitchen. I sat down at the kitchen table as Seth tore into the brownies. Uncle Harry bounded in, "Hey there sweetheart" I got up and hugged him tightly. "Its so good to see you" I said grinning. It was almost like old times. Aunt Sue came in, smiling slightly, and that was better than nothing. "Emily" she said nodding towards me. "I had some free time I thought it was about time I came over here and visited since I really have no excuse not to, now that I'm living somewhere closer". Aunt Sue's eyes smug, "I'd heard you were living with Sam". I glanced at Harry, "I am, for a little while now".

I saw some movement in the doorway behind Seth and leaned up to look. Leah. I stood up again to hug her, Leah's eyes were untelling as we hugged quickly. "So what brings you here?" Leah said getting to the point. I forced a laugh "Can't I just come by and visit once in a while?". Leah's eyes went to slits "Maybe I'm just remembering your last visit". Aunt Sue gave her a look, "So how's your mother doing?" she said, trying to change the subject. I shrugged and accepted the coffee Uncle Harry passed towards me "I don't know. We don't really talk much since I moved in with Sam". A flash of pain shot through Leah's eyes as I mentioned Sam. "Where is Sam?" she said slowly.

"He's gone out camping with the boys for a few days" I replied automatically. Only Harry knew where Sam really was. Leah raised an eyebrow " You mean those two kids that follow him all over town?". I smiled, thinking of Pau and Jared out following Sam like lost puppies "Yeah, Paul and Jared. Their good kids" . Seth looked at me funny "Good kids? I think they're scary". I choked back a laugh "Scary?" . Even Harry was smiling at that. Aunt Sue glanced at Seth "That Paul keeps bullying kids at the high school they all go to". She moved from the table to the counter and got a napkin and placed a brownie on it "Everyone thinks they're up to no good naturally, those two boys look like they've been into steroids".

I sipped my coffee, trying not to laugh again. "They're harmless I promise".

Leah was silent, just listening to us. I reached for a napkin and Aunt Sue grabbed my hand. She was staring at the bracelet Sam had given me. "Did Sam make you this?" she questioned, turning it around on my wrist. I pulled it back slightly, "He did. On my birthday actually". Seth rolled his eyes "I don't understand what's go great about him, I wouldn't marry him". We all laughed at Seth's comment, not being able to help it. "I think the feelings mutual there cuz". I grinned at Seth, he shot me a happy go lucky smile.

I looked over at Leah again, "I was actually hoping maybe me and Leah could go for a short walk". Aunt Sue didn't look like she liked that idea very much. Seth looked nervous and Leah looked annoyed. "Fine" she said curtly, "Let's go then, I have other stuff to do". I got up and pushed my chair back and waved to the others "If I don't see you again before I go, I'll be back as soon as I can". Aunt Sue smirked "When Sam decides to let you out again you mean". I didn't comment back to her, I only followed Leah outside and shut the door quietly behind us.

"So where is he? Really? I know you lied" was the first she said to me. I should have known Leah would be able to tell I was lying, she'd always been able to. I put a smile on "He's just out taking care of a few things". I hoped she would leave it at that. Leah walked ahead of me, avoiding looking at me. "I can't believe he gave you that" she scoffed. "He never even gave me on after the year we'd been together". I ignored her jibe "Leah, I didn't want to fight with you over Sam". She stopped walking and turned to face me. "You might have him now, but he'll always be partly mine" she said lowly.

I ignored the stab in my heart "I wanted to apologize. I wanted to come and ask your forgiveness. I don't like this not talking to you. I want us to be friends again like we used to be". Leah's beautiful features sagged slightly as she let her guard down "I don't know if we can be". She stared down at the ground as she spoke "I don't know if I can handle it. Being friends with you knowing you have what was mine. I am sorry that I treated you the way I did". Her eyes finally met mine. I could see the honestly in them, brimming with tears. "I can see that you two are happy though. I shouldn't have said those things about you to everyone either". I hadn't been expecting this.

"Oh Leah, that stuff doesn't bother me anymore, I don't care what everyone thinks about me now", I smiled at her "They have something new to talk about anyways". I motioned at my scarred face. Leah looked down at my arm for a moment. "I don't believe that's what happened to you either. I don't think a bear did that".

I didn't even try and argue with her on that. She would be able to tell if I was lying. "It was close enough" I said softly. Leah's hand reached out and touched my right one. She felt my scarred hands and arm, as if touching the scars would prove to her what had really happened. "I don't know what you're hiding for him, but I don't like it, something strange is going on with you two'.

I pressed my lips into a firm line, not giving anything away. Leah sighed "I remember when you were keeping my secrets, now you're keeping Sam's". If she only knew the major difference of keeping their secrets.

We were only a few feet in the clearing, but I was still nervous as we stood there, Sam had warned me over and over of what was out there. "You should come visit us sometime, it won't be awkward I swear". Leah snorted, "I'm amazed that you're living in sin with Sam Uley. I never would have thought you would leave home so quickly to be with some guy". I laughed remembering all the fights with my mom. "It didn't exactly happen that way". Leah smiled at me for the first time "You've got to tell me". I started walking in the direction of the house, giving her a replay of the events of the past couple of months as she listened eagerly. She too, couldn't help but laugh at the idea of Sam abusing me. We stood at the edge of the walk way to her house and chatted for a while until it started getting dark out.

I leaned in and hugged Leah one last time "I'll come back soon, unless you come to my house sooner". Leah hugged me back tightly "I don't know. I'll just have to take it one step at a time". I knew Leah still hurt over Sam, but I couldn't do anything about it. Even if I left Sam, he'd never go back to her. He'd always be there pursuing me. Never leaving me alone. The front door opened and Harry stepped looking serious "Be careful when you get home Emily". I was the only one that noticed the way he said it. Not on your way home, but when you get home. Harry glanced towards the woods "It looks like it could be a bad night tonight". I knew what he meant. Sam knew I'd left the house.

"I'll be fine" I assured him, and waved bye to my family as I got in Sam's truck and backed out, he couldn't be that mad. Sam couldn't expect me to sit at the house and wait constantly. Wait for him and go days without him. I had no other friends except for his. Even the woman down the road from us were acquaintances. Not people I could confide in. I drove the short distance back to the little house, looking out the window. One time I thought I glimpsed a brown wolf running with the truck as I drove. I pulled into the drive way and parked and got out quickly, hoping I could make it inside before they could tell Sam anything.

I rushed inside and slammed the door behind me, locking it. I let out a breath of relief. No sign of Sam. I tossed my purse on the couch and headed inside the kitchen, flipping the lights on as I went through the house. Just as I was about to flip the kitchen light on, a hand reached out and grabbed mine squeezing my wrist hard. "Where the hell have you been all day?" Sam's voice growled. It was almost like a purring sound, only it was the constant rumble on anger in his throat.

I stayed still, frozen "I went out for a bit. I wanted to see Leah" I whispered. He still held my wrist tightly, "I told you not to go out Emily, and I meant it". I could feel the bruises from his grip already. "Let me go, you're hurting me" I whispered, terrified of him. He released me instantly. "You're scared of me" he said in a much nicer voice. "I didn't mean to hurt you, I didn't know I was". I sniffled a bit, trying to play it up "Well you did in more way than one". Sam sighed "I could smell your fear the moment you pulled up". I reached out in the dark for him and felt nothing but air. "Don't leave again" I heard his voice saying from across the room. "I'll know if you do". I felt like crying "I won't. I'm sorry" I said softly, wishing he would stay. "I'm going back out" he said just as the door swung shut.

Sam didn't even kiss me before he left again. I turned the lights on, still half scared. I knew he wouldn't really hurt me but I knew at the same time he could and not even notice he had until moments later. Sam was great at controlling his self, loads better than the others but still not perfect. He never would be. I walked around fixing myself a sandwich and coke and took it upstairs with the note Helen had left for me. I shut the bedroom and locked it behind me, if Sam came back he would a locked door waiting for him.

I read the scribbled note, Emily, stopped by to see if you wanted to ride to Forks with me to the doctor and then to Port Angeles, guess you were out. I smiled at the irony of the note. I wasn't allowed in Forks by Sam's rules. I ate the sandwich, replaying my day with Leah. I felt lighter and happier now. Like a weight had been lifted from me or something. I thought about the change in Seth's appearance, my little cousin was towering above me now. If Sam was right, Seth would eventually phase and carry the same curse as he did. I hated for Seth to live like this. Live in secrecy and fear for the rest of his life.

I laid in bed and watched countless movies on the small tv we had in our room. I read Sam's worn out, beat up Quileute myth books. I rearranged the clothes in the dresser two times. Sam was running out of shirts I noticed. I was constantly having to buy clothes for him. It was like it would inconvenience him to stop and pull it off before he phased. I figured he'd been eating in his wolf form too. The three of them hadn't came by for meals in a couple of days which meant Sam was eating something I didn't even want to think about.

I grabbed his pillows and laid them where he would normally and leaned on them, trying to make myself a Sam substitute of some sort. I tossed and turned, trying to make myself comfortable before giving up and heading back downstairs for another snack. I spread peanut butter and jelly on bread and ate another sandwich. I munched on a bag of chips next, drinking from a two liter as I ate. I was staring up at the calendar, counting from my birthday. Hmm.. It had been five weeks. Not long enough yet.

I was going crazy as I found little things here and there to do. Cleaning out from under the fridge which took an hour to pull out and another hour to push back in place, fixing a broken hinge on a cabinet and sponge mopping the wooden floors. I couldn't stand being shut up inside the house like this. I didn't know why it bothered me so much though, I usually stayed home anyways. I wandered around the spare room, poking through boxes of junk Sam had put in there. I opened one up. Samuel Uley, 1st place state tournament, track it read. I rifled around the box finding several more track awards, along with one in baseball. Sam had never told me about any of this. I carefully wiped off each plaque or trophy that I found, and arranged them on the dresser in the room.

I unpacked most the stuff he had put up there and forgotten about, finding places for all of it. I went to the small twin bed in the room and put sheets on it, the room was already starting to look a little bit better. Not as shabby as it had before. I was flipping through an old scrapbook and paused at a picture of Sam as a child with a man I didn't recognize at first. Then it hit me. This was Joshua Uley. Sam's dad. I peered more closely at it then, they did look a lot alike. Sam could easily tower his dad now though. I flipped through, seeing pictures of Sam with old friends, looking younger and more like your typical high school athlete with his baseball uniform on.

I flipped the next page, Sam and Leah at prom. I touched the picture lightly, Leah had been beautiful back then. Not as harsh looking as she was now. Sam was smiling brightly for the picture. I stared at his eyes in the picture, the same he had when he looked at me wasn't there, but it still bothered me to see what they had looked like happily together. I turned the picture over in the book and shut it.

I didn't go to sleep at all. I stayed up all night and through the morning. I settled down in the couch with a fuzzy blanket, ready for a nap. I'd washed all the laundry, plus started sewing a few little outfits from some patterns Mrs. Natara had loaned me. Pink fabric of course. I nestled in the comfy couch, it still smelled new to me. Paul's mom had done a great job picking out everything. I flipped through the channels absent mindly, I'd given up all hope of seeing Sam until he decided he needed a bath.

I was in and out, waking myself up, thinking I'd heard noises in the house. As many nights as I had spent alone here, the house was still creepy to be in alone. I yawned, I was tired, worn out, but couldn't sleep. It was impossible.

I sat up straight when I heard the door knob turning. I pulled my legs to my chest, waiting. I could hear Sam knocking on the door loudly. We didn't have a key outside. We'd never needed one out there. I rested my chin on my knees, listening as he knocked again "Emily!" he called out. I could tell he was getting frustrated. I didn't answer him and stayed still as I could so he wouldn't be able to smell me moving. "Dammit, Emily, I know you're sitting right there on the couch, I can smell you!". I still said nothing, I was looking at bruises on my left wrist, reminding myself not to give in.

I heard a crunching noise, and a the sound of metal breaking. I jumped up from the couch and hid in the doorway of the kitchen, anxiously. Sam had ripped the door off.

"EMILY LYNN YOUNG WHERE ARE YOU AT?!" his voice shouted angrily. I peeked out from around my corner. Maybe that wasn't such a great idea after all. He whirled around, he looked like he was smelling the air. I came out slowly, knowing he would sniff me out eventually. Sam was looking at me, his eyes were jet black with anger, he was quivering where he stood, his shape blurring in and out. "Can I ask why you locked me out of my own house?" he demanded his voice was still booming. I put a sickeningly sweet smile on my face "You told me to stay inside and keep the doors locked no matter what remember Mr. Alpha sir?" I said sweetly.

Sam was staring me down, his hands were gripping the small table in the foyer. I could see his hands blurring in and out into paws with long, sharp claws as he tried to calm down. I watched him nervously, "I only did what you said to" I reminded him. Sam spoke with his teeth clenched "You know exactly what I meant when I said that and since when did you listen to me anyways?. I glared at him "Since you decided not to come home for a week straight and leave me alone".

Sam released the table, and shuddered, a sign that he was calm now. "I have to leave you here, you know that. You'll have to get used to it, I can't just send the boys out alone". I didn't look at him as I walked past him to the ripped off, broken door. "Bright idea you had here, now what are we supposed to do for a door?". Sam sighed and rubbed his eyes, they were red and swollen like he hadn't slept since he left. "I'll put it back on". I kicked at it before I walked back in and sat on the couch "You probably don't even have to bother. We won't be needing any privacy anyways". It took a moment for it to sink into his mind. "Why are you so mad at me?" he whined like a child would. "I didn't even do anything to you to deserve this".

"That's just it. You didn't do anything" I shot back at him. I grabbed my fuzzy blanket and laid back down on the couch. "You couldn't even be bothered to acknowledge that I was your girlfriend yesterday, you just grabbed me and scared and left again". I glanced at the big open space. "Its going to rain soon so I'd get busy if I were you". Sam didn't say anything back, he just turned and walked back outside. I couldn't help but smile a little to myself at he started beating and banging on the door frame he'd bent.

I watched him from my spot on the couch, not even glancing at his bare chest as he worked. I could hear him mumbling under his breath to his self. Finally he had the door back in place. "Happy now?" he snapped at me as he walked by. I heard shut the bathroom door. I made no move to get up and get him clothes like I usually did. Sam could fend for his self for a while. I didn't feel good anyways. I rolled onto my side and shut my eyes, hoping to sleep. The radio upstairs came on full blast.

Well, if Sam was going to fight dirty so was I. I got up and went upstairs and flung the door open. He was standing there fully clothed for once, freshly showered. I gave him a dirty look as I unplugged the radio and kicked it lightly. "Gee that was real mature Em". I ignored him as I opened the dresser and grabbed an arm load of my clothes and walked down the hall to the spare room and threw them on the bed. I turned and went and grabbed more of them, until I had everything. He could keep the rest of the stuff in there. I'd do without it. I started shoving my clothes into the drawers carelessly.

Sam was leaned in the doorway watching me. "So this is how its gonna be then?". I nodded "I guess so, it'll be just like you're not here for me like it usually is". Sam looked pained as I pulled the blankets back and settled into the twin bed. "If you don't mind, I need to get some sleep, I've been up cleaning and fixing things around the house all night". Sam's sad look almost got to me as he turned and walked away. I reminded myself once again of how I felt when he was gone and came back and left again suddenly.


	25. Chapter 25

Hey guys, thanks for my lovely reviews, I love getting them, I hope you like this chapter, :)

Chapter 25 Hugs and kisses

I woke up a couple of hours after I'd fallen asleep and stretched out in my small bed. I could hear scuffling noises downstairs. The pack must be down there. Too bad, Sam could tell them why his little slave was on strike. I got up and wandered downstairs, I could hear them all laughing and it annoyed me. Sam shouldn't be happy. I kept a scowl on my face as I went in the kitchen. "Hey Emily" Paul said a little too nicely. I nodded to him and Jared, they were eating take out. Chinese take out.

I made a face at the way it smelled. Disgusting. I opened the fridge and dug out some yogurt and reached in the drawer for a spoon. Jared finally spoke to me "So uh, you wanna go down to the beach with us later? We're going to try out cliff diving from the top for a change".

thought of Sam jumping from there, he wouldn't get hurt but I didn't like it. "No thanks, I like my neck the way it is". I knew the tension between me and Sam was starting to make them worry. Sam cleared his throat loudly "I'll leave the keys on the counter if you want to go somewhere". So he wasn't going to deprive me of a vehicle or anything else but actual attention, I almost laughed. Paul looked uncomfortable, they were sitting in the cross fire and he knew it. "You could come to the bonfire then, Old Quil is telling the stories tonight to us, Sam's already heard them, but we haven't". I hated to miss out on that.

My stomach lurched as I thought of going somewhere "I think I'll just stay here really. I got some stuff to do". Sam was watching me, trying to look like he wasn't. "I'm not in the mood for it anyways". Paul shrugged "Suit yourself". He got a wicked grin on his face "I was hoping you'd be my date". Jared snickered into the noodles, Sam frowned at him, not sure if he was serious or not. I couldn't help myself. I grinned back at Paul "Maybe next time".

Jared rolled his eyes 'Don't encourage it". Sam wasn't saying anything, just giving us both dirty looks. I glanced at Sam, our eyes met for a flash before we both looked away. "I think I'm free for a while". Sam coughed, "I'm ready" he said as he got up, shoving the chair back as he stood, almost knocking it over. I watched them as they all piled out, looking like brothers again.

I shook my head and started cleaning up the mess they'd left. I had to do that at least or I wouldn't be earning my keep. I smiled wryly to myself as I washed their dishes. I went to throw the empty containers away and stopped and looked at the calendar. It had been a month and a half now. I stared at it, thinking back. I touched my stomach, pressing on it. I did feel kind of sick, but that could be from nerves. I was tired, but that could be from all the crying and late nights. I was late, but that could be from the stress I'd been under lately. I frowned at the calendar, blaming it.

I didn't know if this was a good thing or a bad thing. I wasn't even speaking to Sam, the only reason I hadn't left was because I knew it would hurt him too bad for me to be away from him. I wasn't that heartless, I did still love him. I feeling panicky as I went to the recliner and sat down. My knees were weak as I sat there, my head hung in my hands, gripping my hair. I wanted a baby. I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. Hot tears came down my cheeks as I curled into a ball in the chair. I didn't even have anyone I could call and talk to.

If I called Helen it would be too excruciating. If I called Leah well.. That might not turn out so good either. My mom… she would yell a lot. Aunt Sue would probably yell at me too. I didn't have any other female friends. I didn't even have Sam right now. I wiped my cheeks with the back of my hand. I had to calm down, I couldn't freak out. Sam would know something was up if he saw me crying. I wrapped my arms around myself, feeling my stomach again, for some sign. I had to get upstairs, Sam would be back soon. I got up shakily and dragged myself upstairs and shut my door. I didn't think he would come in when he got home. I crawled back into bed, and stared out the window, I probably wouldn't be able to see Sam though.

I laid there, thinking about what to do. I didn't dare go to the store on the reservation. I didn't want to drive to the Makah rez either. Port Angeles was kinda far away. I sighed, was I imagining feeling sick? I rolled onto my side, I was regretting being hateful to Sam now. I didn't have anyone now. I could hear him as he shut the back door and thumped his way upstairs, I stayed still, trying to hear where he was going. Bathroom. I heard the door shut and reopen.

I frowned as I listened as hard as I could, suddenly my door opened a crack, I could feel his eyes on me as I closed mine, pretending to be asleep. Sam came in quietly and pulled the blankets over me, and turned my lamp off. Before he left, he bent down and kissed my cheek lightly. I was using all my self control not to open my eyes and spill everything to him. Sam pushed my hair back lightly and tip toed back out. I let out a sigh of relief. He could probably sense how nervous I was. Sam probably thought it was from fighting with him though.

The tv went on in the room next door. I stared up at the dark ceiling, wondering what he could possibly be doing. I couldn't hear him making any movement, or moving around. It was too early for him to be asleep though. A wave of nausea came over me, I begged myself not to throw up. I sat up and moved the edge of the bed, holding myself. I didn't feel good at all. Kind of hot and cold at the same time. I finally shot up from the bed and ran to the bathroom, not even closing the door behind me. I felt sick but nothing happened. I groaned as I leaned against the side of the bath tub. Not again. I'd already been sick like this one time. "Are you okay?"

I looked towards the door where Sam was standing, looking concerned. I gave him a look "I'm fine, just… girl stuff". That shut him up quick. "Sorry" he mumbled as he scurried off back to his respective room. I kicked the door shut after him, I didn't need him nosing around right now. I sat there, dozing on and off between that horrible feeling. I woke up to Sam knocking on the bathroom door. "Emily, I need to get ready for work" he said aggravated. "You've been in here all night". I pulled myself up, "Sorry" I said softly as I walked past him. His eyes were burning into my back as I started to go into his room, then turned and walked back towards mine.

I'd go to his room after he left for work, I decided, he had a tv in there, and his mattress was a lot fluffier than this one. I didn't go downstairs to fix breakfast for him like I usually would when he worked this early. I didn't even make him any coffee. I'd teach him what it was like to ignore me and take me for granted. I rubbed my eyes as I watched out of the tiny window at the woods. "I'm leaving, when I get back later we need to talk" Sam said, I snapped out of my daze, I didn't know he'd been standing there. "Fine." I replied simply. Sam frowned at me "I put you some of that herbal tea of the counter". So now he was trying to sedate me I thought. "Thank you" I said quietly. Sam nodded at me and looked like he wanted to say more but didn't. He just looked at me, with a meaning I hadn't saw before. He turned and left the room. I waited until I heard him drive off to pad down the hall and jump in his bed. It was still warm. I snuggled into the sheets, breathing in his scent.

I wrapped the comforter around me as I lay there, I didn't feel anything but sleepy now. I closed my eyes, picturing a small dark haired baby girl, smiling up at me. I wanted this baby more than anything if there was one, I was just worried about Sam's reaction. I laid there, thinking about turning the spare room into a nursery with yellow walls, and matching white furniture.

I snapped out of it, realizing I'd laid around too long already. I headed downstairs, Sam didn't touch anything down here. I grabbed the phone from the hook and dialed the familiar number. Helen answered on the second ring "Hello?" her voice rang out. I paused, "Hi.. Its um. Its me. Emily I mean" I stammered out. "I thought so, well, what's going on ?" she said getting right to the point. Beating around the bush wasn't Helen's style. "I was just wondering if you could take me to Forks. And not tell Sam before we go". Helen didn't answer for a moment "Okay, are you ready now?". I was shocked. That had been entirely too easy. "I'll be ready as soon as you get here". Helen laughed "Ok I'll be over in a few then sweetheart". We hung up at the same exact time.

I rushed to the laundry room and dug out a pair of jeans and the first shirt I found. I wasn't bothering with make up today. I looked at myself in the mirror as I brushed my teeth. The toothpaste was making me sick. I was skipping down the stairs just as I heard Helen pull up. I grabbed my purse, checking to make sure I still had one of Sam's cards in there. I'd grown more comfortable with spending his money after I realized, he really didn't care about money at all. It was just something he had.

I ran down the porch steps towards Helen's Altima and got in quickly. "Thank you so much" I said gratefully as I hooked my seat belt. Helen smiled at me brightly 'It's no problem, we don't get to have a girls day very often". We were on our way, I was careful to duck down slightly as we passed the garage. I didn't want to risk Sam seeing me. Helen looked at me amused, "Has he scared you into not leaving town?" she joked. I laughed at her "Technically.. Yes". Helen looked at me "He didn't" she mused. "I cant believe my son". I changed the radio station, feeling at ease with Helen, "He's just protective. He worries about me too much sometimes though".

I saw her looking at my bruised wrists, the bruises had faded to yellow, I pulled it back as quickly as I could. "Did he do that?" she asked quietly. I looked out the window "It was my fault, I did something I shouldn't have after he told me not to". Helen pursed her lips "Sam still shouldn't have grabbed you hard enough to leave a mark".

I sighed and rubbed the spot "He doesn't realize he does. To Sam, he was only holding onto my wrist, not gripping it so hard". Helen let it drop at that. "So where to?" she asked as we entered the Forks City limits. I didn't look at her "Oh.. The drug store I think will be fine". I stared at my hands. Helen didn't say anything for a while. "Or I could go in the grocery store. Either one". Helen turned at the red light "Anything certain you need?" she finally said. I cringed slightly, admitting this to Sam's mother was going to be hard. "Just a… a… a uh" I was stammering. "I mean a um, pregnancytest" I ran the words together hoping she wouldn't hear them as I mumbled. If I could have sunk any lower into the seat, I would have.

Helen stared straight ahead at the road "Is it for you? Is that why we came to Forks instead of somewhere in La Push?". I nodded, feeling shaky again. She pulled up to the small drug store creatively called "Forks Main Drug". I sat there, stalling. I reached for my purse, "Do you want me to go in?" Helen asked me kindly. I felt relief food over me "I don't think I could make it inside" I admitted. I handed her Sam's card. She took it and got out. I sat there, staring at the window, as she walked through the drug store.

A few minutes later Helen slid into the drivers seat again. She passed me the brown paper bag. "I got you four different ones". I nodded at her, "Thank you". Helen looked over at me "Its okay sweetheart, calm down". I took a shaky breath. "I don't know if it is". I sniffled as I poured out the long story of what had happened the day before. "He'll hardly even speak to me". I felt my lower lip tremble. "He will. Sam's not that stubborn and I know he cant go too long with talking to you, he doesn't have it in him" she reassured me. "My house or yours?" she asked as we crossed back into La Push. "Sam-- My house". Helen drove back through town, I didn't even bother hiding from view of the garage this time.

We pulled up to the tiny house. "I can stay if you want" Helen said trying to be helpful. I didn't know if I wanted her to or not. I got out "Stay, I don't have anyone else,". I saw a look of excitement in her eyes as we went inside. "I don't have anyone else I can talk to". I kicked my shoes off and let my jacket fall from my shoulders. I let myself fall down on the couch. "I'm tired' I said softly. Helen was walking around the house, straightening up things I should have before I left. "I'll clean later" I said to her, she ignored me and walked off into the kitchen. I slumped over, "Here, start drinking" Helen was handing me a glass of water. "The sooner the better". I sighed as I started gulping the water down. Helen was still moving the house, as I sat there, "Go on" she said as she shoved the bag at me. I stood up in slow motion and walked off up the stairs, I didn't want to know yet. I'd rather live in denial for a few days. I went in the bathroom and frowned as I read the labels on the boxes. Which one should I start out with? I finally just grabbed one. After following the instruction I sat down on the bathroom floor to wait. I kept glancing at my watch every few seconds. It had been twelve minutes. Way longer than needed. I got up cautiously and looked. Oh no.. oh no.. oh no..

I felt the tears well up in my eyes as I looked at the bright pink plus sign. I wasn't crying because I didn't want the baby. I was crying because I couldn't tell Sam. I heard Helen knocked on the door before opening it a second later. "Have you looked yet?" she asked quickly. I silently held the test out for her to look at. Pure joy washed over her face. "I'm so happy for you!" Helen exclaimed. She didn't seem to notice that I wasn't jumping up and down with her. "Maybe you should take another one just to be sure though". I nodded, willing to try anything. Helen couldn't keep the smile off her face as she shut the door so I could do everything three more times.

I kept brushing my tears away as they fell. I wanted Sam to say he was sorry. Then it would all be okay. I waited forever it seemed, millions of thoughts running through my mind. I looked down at the tests that gave me the same exact readings. I opened the bathroom door and went straight to Sam's room and buried myself in the bed. I could hear Helen moving around in the kitchen, banging pots around. I should go help her I thought. I was having a baby. Sam's baby. It was wonderful. Wonderful but still shocking. I'd thought it'd take much longer than this to actually get what I wanted.

I couldn't bring myself to move from the bed though. I laid there fully clothed until she came up. Helen's excitement was still showing as she babbled about how I needed to find a doctor as soon as I got a chance, and how she would do this and that. I blanked her chatter out as I shut my eyes. "I already put something in the oven for Sam and the boys to have when they get here, its enough for all three of them if he brings the kids back with him". I opened one eye up and looked at her, she didn't notice I hadn't been replying for a long time now.

"Thank you. For taking me. And for doing the housework I should have been doing" I said softly. Helen smiled at me, her eyes shining "I didn't mind at all. I know you don't feel good. And I should really be thanking you, for letting me stay with you. You called me instead of your own mother". I laughed at that.. "I needed a pregnancy test, not a funeral". Helen laughed at me "Don't be afraid to tell her, she's still your mother". I smirked "Sam obviously hasn't told you much about her'. Helen felt my forehead "I'm going to go, he'll be here soon. Just.. don't push him on this Emily. I don't like worrying about the two of you over here, fighting, especially not now". I nodded "I won't" I promised her. I crawled out of Sam's bed and followed Helen downstairs and let her out, waving bye and thanking her several more times.

I sat down at the kitchen, knowing I looked horrible. I had bags under my eyes, and my dark skin was pale. I rested my head on the table, waiting for Sam. I heard him pull up and went to the oven and took out the lasagna that Helen had put in and sat it on top of the stove and sat back down. He was whistling as he walked in. I sat there, watching him as he stopped in the living room and kicked his Nikes off. Next came the garage overalls. I stood up as he came in. "I wasn't expecting this" Sam said as he looked at the lasagna. I shrugged and cut him a huge piece of it. "Are the boys coming over?" my voice sounded hoarse. Sam shook his head "Not tonight, there's some sort of football game thing". I was relieved. I wasn't up for company tonight.

Sam took a huge bite and swallowed "This tastes just like my mom made it". I smiled weakly at him "She did". Sam looked at me for a moment "I know you're already mad at me, but.. Please stay out of Forks Emily. You can't go there". I sighed, so much for making up tonight. "I had to" . He rolled his eyes "There's nothing in Forks that we don't have here". I made a face as he ate another bite, it smelled like… garbage. "I didn't want to go into any of the stores here" I said back in a dead voice. Sam pushed his empty plate back. I moved to get more and he waved me off. "Don't. You look like you need to go to bed. Not wait on me". I nodded my head, or bobbed it actually.

"I haven't been sleeping too well" I made an excuse as I got up from the table. "I'll wash your plate later, just put it in the sink". I headed back towards the second floor. "I can do it" he said sternly. "Just go.. Rest, I don't like how sickly you look". At least we were speaking even if it was about stupid stuff. I went in his room and took off my jeans and shirt, not bothering to put on pajamas as I collapsed into his bed.

Every ounce of me felt weighted down. I laid there until Sam came in, in his sweats and crawled in beside me. I scooted over to make room for him and kept my back turned away from him. I hoped he would take this as a sign that I wasn't mad at him. I felt his hand touch my side, "Em?" he asked softly. The heat from his body was making me feel worse. "Don't" I told him as he I moved further away. I heard him sigh "Fine, I wont look at you or touch you, just lay here and stare at you then". I didn't reply as I laid there, looking at the wall, listening to the tv. "Can at least talk to you?" he pressed. I pulled the blankets tighter around myself, "What do you want to say?". Sam's eyes were on me as he spoke "I didn't know you thought I was ignoring you the other day when I left. I was in a hurry was all. And I thought you understood that I'd have to leave you a lot, I cant help it".

"But you left me a week" I said as I rolled over to face him. "An entire week, and thought you could come back everything pick back up again". Sam looked like he was in agony, "I know I know, it was stupid. I'm sorry'. Finally he spoke the words I wanted to hear. "I'm sorry I really am, I love you, I don't like you being that mad at me. It hurts me, when I can sense that you're hurting or upset". I held out my arms and he immediately wrapped them around his neck as he slid closer.

I leaned into him, not sure how long I could take the heat, literally. Sam was just laying, relishing in the fact that I wasn't mad any more. He kissed my cheeks and then my forehead , I wrinkled my nose at the smell of the woods on him. I pushed him back and jumped over him, and took off into the bathroom and slammed the door behind me. "Emily?" he said, knocking on the door, he turned the knob but I'd locked it. I sat there by the toilet, waiting for it. "I'm okay. Just uh stomach problems is all". I fanned myself with the back of my hand. Tonight wasn't a good night for him to know.

Sam gave up and went back to his room, I stayed shut up in there an hour before I came back out. He was asleep. I laid down, not too close to him though. Time to rest finally.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26 Traitor

I woke up late the next morning. I could tell, because Sam wasn't in bed with me. I stretched as I rose, I still felt tired and worn out. I yawned as I went in the bathroom and brushed my teeth and ran a comb through my hair. I flopped down the stairs, noticing I needed to mop them. I heard the murmur of the tv as I walked through the small living and into the kitchen. I opened the familiar kitchen cabinet and pulled out fruit loops. I reached for a bowl when I realized I wasn't alone.

Sam was sitting at the kitchen table with an empty bowl in front of him, his expression blank as he looked at me. I bit the inside of my bottom lip as I poured myself cereal and sat down, cross legged in a chair to eat. I couldn't tell if the silence was on purpose or just a coincidence. I chewed the cereal, enjoying the crunch of it as I ate. My fruit loops was the first thing I'd really ate in a week. I drank the milk after I'd finished the cereal and put the bowl in the sink. "I got the day off" Sam said as he looked at me, "I thought maybe we could go to the beach or something". I nodded "Fine, just let me get some stuff in a bag". Sam looked back out the window "Don't forget to put a suit on under whatever you're wearing".

"I'll be ready in a few" I went to the laundry room and dug through the pile of laundry I'd left on the small table in there. I'd been too tired to fold it. I finally found the pink suit and some towels and went upstairs to get dressed. I was moving in slow motion it seemed. I dressed slowly and took even more time thinking about what I needed to take with me in case I felt sick. By the time I got done packing I had my small beach bag stuffed to the point of busting. I headed back down, the bag was weighing me down.

Sam was washing the dishes sloppily at the sink, sloshing water everywhere. "About time, thought you'd fell back asleep". I laughed, I wished I had fallen back to sleep. "Just still waking up is all". I reached over and picked up his coffee and took a sip and made a face. "Kind of strong" I choked out as I gulped it down. Sam laughed "Well.. I'm not so used to having to make it for myself". I could only imagine what would happen to the place if I ever left him alone for too long. I dared another sip of it, hoping it would wake me up a bit more. I put the cup back down and leaned him as he wiped the counters off, like he'd seen me do. "I was thinking that maybe we could go cliff---" I had thrown myself at the trash can in the corner, heaving into it.

Sam was at my side in a flash, holding my hair back, handing me dish towel. I grew shaky as I sat down "I think you need to go to a doctor" He said worried as he fussed over me, getting me Dramamine that I couldn't even take. "I'm fine" I responded nonchalantly. I put my head on the table, that awful feeling was creeping into my stomach again. Sam pulled the bag from the trash can and headed outside with it. I heard a crash and him curse.

I sat there, holding my stomach under the table, trying to will myself to feel better. I couldn't handle nine months of this, I knew that. I got up from the table and went weak kneed into the living room and sank down on the couch. I laid on my side so that I still hold my abdomen. You're worth it, I thought to the baby, like he or she could hear me. You're worth all this misery I know you are. I pulled the blanket that had been hanging over the ouch over me. The back door slammed shut.

Sam came in and let his self fall into the recliner. I glanced at him and didn't say anything. He was sitting there with a wide eyed look. Like he was in shock or something. I shrugged, no telling with him. I shut my eyes, so much for the trip to the beach. We sat there, not speaking for a few minutes. 'Is there something you want to tell me?" Sam said quietly. He was sitting on the edge of the recliner looking at me. I looked back into his eyes, wondering if he knew. "I don't know.. Maybe" I looked back down, and started folding up my blanket. Sam rubbed the top of his almost shaved head "I think there is, and I wish you would". He was looking kind of pale under his dark skin. I put the blanket over the back of the couch "I don't want to" I said as I went to walk away from him. Sam followed after me, "I want to know".

I stopped at the edge of the laundry room "No" I snapped and walked out again, going for the stairs this time. His hand grabbed me and pulled me back. "Emily, just tell me…" . I felt the tears coming, I was always crying I noted and that just made more tears well up. "I don't want you to be nice to me again just because…" I stopped there and let the tears drop. Sam let go of me "Because? " he prompted. I finally gave in "Because I'm pregnant!" I wailed as I let myself crumple on the foot of the stairs. I couldn't stop crying long enough to catch my breath.

Sam seemed to go even whiter "How are you pregnant?". He sat down beside me, wrapping an arm around my back as I cried. "It doesn't take a genius to figure out how" I sobbed out. I was still clutching myself instinctively. Sam sighed, he looked even more stressed than he had when I first met him, "That's not what I meant. I mean.. how?". I shoved his arm away "I wanted a baby, I want a baby I mean, and that's why I kept…" Another sob shook through me as I seemed to claw my way upstairs. "Why didn't you tell me when you found out? How long have you known?" he said as he hovered over me, guiding me up, not wanting me to slip and fall as I clawed at the steps.

I sat at the top of the stairs, trying to calm down enough to get up. "Because you were going to be mad at me" I hiccupped. Sam sat down by me moving to hug me, I pushed him away again "Don't touch me" I whispered. Sam looked pained as I said it "Don't push me away right now" he said softly. I put my head in my hands, I thought I let all hard feelings between us go last night, but I realized I was still mad at him. Sam scooted closer, but not close enough that we were touching. "I'm not mad at you because you're pregnant, I'm upset that you didn't tell me when you found out". I sniffled "I was mad at you, I didn't want you to know".

My stomach churned as the smell of him being so close to me, "Go away" I ordered, holding myself. Instead, he moved closer. I opened my mouth to snap at him and threw up on top of him, not even holding back. I burst into new tears "I'm sorry" I said as I got up shakily and went to the bathroom. I threw up again, as he came in behind me peeling off his soiled shirt and pants. I didn't even stare the way I usually would have as he stripped down and got in the shower. I took the opportunity to go and crawl back in bed. I didn't understand why I felt so sick so soon. Sam came in a few minutes later with his towel on his waist and sat by me, water glistening off of him. "I didn't do it on purpose" I whispered. Sam only nodded and rubbed his thumb on my chin. "Don't be mad at me anymore" his eyes were longing for me.

I looked back and felt myself slowing giving into him. "Are you mad at me?". Sam shook his head quickly "No, I'm not mad. I just got my feelings hurt I guess. You didn't even tell me. I had to pick up trash to find out". I sighed and turned over, with one hand still on me, Sam's eyes drifted towards my abdomen. "I would have told you soon. I cant hide being this sick from you for long". He placed his hand over mine, "Its okay, you wanted to have a baby, you're getting what you wanted". I smiled in spite of everything "I do want a baby. I didn't think it would happen this soon though, I thought we would have to wait a while". I moved my hand out from under his, letting him press his warm one on my cool skin. "I don't mean to yell at you so much either' I apologized. Sam shrugged it off as he slid his hand upwards on my stomach "Its okay. I know why now. And I did tell you that when I imprinted on you, it meant you were my soul mate, my everything, and that you would give me the best chance of passing on the genes. I guess that means we should be careful after this. I don't know why you wont let me near you'.

"I don't like the way you smell, it makes me sick, and you make me nervous for some reason now" I said bluntly. Sam looked appalled "I don't stink, I take baths you know, with the same exact soap and shampoo that you're using". He took his hand off of me "I'm not going to hurt you or the baby either, I thought you knew that, I couldn't hurt you if I tried to". I sat up slightly, propping myself up with the pillows "I know, I don't feel right though". Sam's eyes grew concerned "Should I call mom?"

I shook my head "I'll be fine, I think its normal". I reached for his hand "I don't want to tell anyone just yet, only Helen knows so far, and I'd like to keep it that way". Sam got up slowly and started getting dressed "She's a traitor" he mumbled. "She should have told me She knew not to take you to Forks too". I hoped he wouldn't say anything to her. "I made her take me, I told her I thought I was pregnant, she was more than happy to go". Sam smirked "Of course, a baby was involved". I scowled at him as I got up, "I have stuff to do" I was thinking about the piles of laundry downstairs, the dirty steps, and of course, I had to find a doctor.

Sam followed me around, watching closely "You can go you know, out or whatever, I'll be fine here". He was driving me crazy, chasing after me. "Don't waste a perfectly good Saturday following after me". Sam grabbed a basket out of my hands and carried it for me "No, you might need me'. I rolled my eyes, I wasn't feeling the least bit nauseous or tired. "Go" I ordered. After a few minutes of arguing I finally got him out of the house. I was humming an old tribal song when the phone rang. I answered it, "Hello?" I said cheerfully. It was Old Quil, hunting up Sam. He told me to make Sam call as soon as he came in, the Call boy was phasing.

Another poor soul that was going to be cursed, I thought as I scrubbed the floors. I'd called over to Helen's and found Sam, he was on his way over there. I knew he would be there a while, it had taken all night with Jared and Paul. I didn't mind as much as I thought I would now that he'd left again. I threw out the dirty water, a nagging thought had been in my head all day. My mother. I wanted to talk to her so bad right now.

I hit the numbers into the phone before I could chicken out "Emily?" I heard her excited voice answer. That was a relief "Its me, I was just calling to talk, see how you and daddy were doing". I walked around, keeping distracted while I talked. "We're fine, your dad's still hoping you'll come home you know, and I've been busy with the store, same old boring things". She paused, "And Sam?" I was surprised she asked about him. "Sam's great, he's at work right now, I'm waiting for him and the boys he helps out to come in for dinner". My mom laughed "Boys he helps out?" she questioned. I smiled, thinking of my semi adopted children "Yeah, Paul and Jared, they've had a rough time lately, Sam just.. Keeps them under wraps, they've been doing a lot of work for the council and things like that".

"I didn't realize Sam was that big on the council there" she sounded surprised. This was going way better than I'd hoped. "He's an elder now you know, Sam's on the council his self, with Uncle Harry". My mom said curiously "He's awful young to carry the weight of the people.".

If she only knew, I thought humbly. "Sam doesn't mind, he just wants to help as much as he can. He's not as bad as you think Mom, " I went on a whim before I could stop myself. "We'd really like for you and dad to come down tomorrow for dinner actually, if you don't have any other plans". I waited for her answer. "Of course sweetheart, I'm sure daddy would like to, we talked about it and decided, if you want to stay with him, we'll have to get used to it if it means we still have you". I brushed aside the emotions bubbling, "Thank you so much for saying that, I don't like not talking to you, Helen is great but, she's not you. She's not my mother, she's Sam's". My mom agreed with me, "Is she coming too?". I hadn't thought about that. "I don't know, I guess you guys should meet sometime though, sooner or later".

"Well, either way, we'll see you tomorrow evening, can I bring anything?" she asked. "No, I can handle it, I've gotten used to the cooking and baking area, I usually make breakfast and dinner for my-- I mean for the boys". I had started to say my boys. "Bye honey" she said as we hung up. I put the phone on the hook, happier. My mom wasn't mad at me anymore, and she'd warmed up to Sam. I smiled brighter, and I had a new pack member to look after.


	27. Chapter 27

Thanks for my few reviews I got, I appreciate them, and another warning... LEMON chapter, dont read it if you dont want to see it, its not as lemony as it could be though lol. REVIEW!!!

Chapter 27 Cult

I slept all the way through the night while Sam was gone. I wasn't worried. I knew he was with Embry somewhere out in the woods. I made breakfast anyways, my other two might still show up. I pushed the eggs around in the large skillet, holding my nose with one hand. It should bother me that I'd told Sam I was pregnant and he left, but it didn't. I was going to have to shove that aside. Sam not being here would be okay in the end. I'd just have to make friends outside of his pack.

I poured myself a glass of orange juice and sat down at the table, waiting for any them to show, until finally Paul crept in the back door. I smiled brightly at him, Paul was still a little short tempered, but I didn't feel any danger from him. "Morning" I said as I motioned for him to sit and started fixing him a plate. He grunted in reply. I held back a laugh, Paul was definitely not a talker. I laid the plate down in front of him and sat down across from him. "Did Embry change yet?" I asked, wanting to know the details. Paul nodded as he ate, he swallowed hard, "Yeah, Sam's out there with him now, the kid doesn't want to accept what happened to him. He keeps saying we're crazy and that he doesn't want to be in our cult". Paul said with a slightly disgusted tone. I frowned "Cult? I wonder what makes him say that".

Paul laughed as he got up and refilled on eggs "He thinks Sam is our cult leader, and that's why we all started looking exactly like him, and that Sam's some sort of.. I don't know.. Gang leader". I cracked a smile at that. "I guess he kinda is in a way, only without the drugs and stuff". Paul grinned back at me, "Sam will get through to him eventually. He did to me and Jared". I si[[ed my juice again "Yeah but at least you and Jared were already friends before either of you phased, you trusted each other even if you were appalled of Sam".

I hadn't gave much thought to the horror in the boys minds of Sam when they first phased. Sam didn't talk much about the wolf thing with me if he could help it. "We're still hoping for one more" Paul said looking serious now. I nodded, remembering, Jacob Black, the baby faced boy I'd met so long ago at the bonfire when I'd first laid eyes on Sam. "Did Sam tell you when he'd be back home?" I pressed Paul.

He shook his head and stretched, "Naw, he just told me I could come crash on the couch if you said it was okay, I've been out doing patrol since noon yesterday". I had no problem with Paul staying here alone with me. "I don't mind" I assured him. "Do you want something else to wear? A shirt?" I teased him. Paul made a face at me "Not if it doesn't bother you". Seeing the boys half dressed didn't bug me either. I saw them only as children even though they were aged far more than I was physically. I only saw my Sam.

Paul was looking at me funny as I fussed over him, getting him pillows and a blanket for the couch, he refused to sleep upstairs in the spare room. He said the upstairs was Sam's territory only, it was a wolf thing apparently. Sam, it seemed had the upstairs as a den like it would be for real wolves. I looked up at him "What?" I said as he settled onto the couch. "I can hear.." his eyes narrowed at me. "I can hear more than one heart beating in here". I flushed and instinctively touched myself. Sam must not have thought about it around them. Paul looked at me curiously, "Isn't it kind of soon for that?". I gave him a look as I handed him the tv remote. "Not really, we've been together a while now". Paul shook his head at me, he muttered something like, babies having babies as he pulled the blanket over his head.

I cleaned the kitchen, glancing at Paul as he slept. Paul was a lot like Sam, I noticed now that I had a chance to really look. Paul seemed to carry a recklessness about him though, whereas Sam was stern and mature. Paul twitched in his sleep and I backed off. I wondered about the new boy, would he be angry like Paul? Or calm and quiet like Jared? I nibbled on some crackers for my lunch, and sewed on the baby clothes I'd started when I first decided I wanted a baby.

I tried to keep as quiet as possible as Paul slept, I didn't want to wake him any earlier than he had to be up. It felt nice knowing that there was someone else in the house with me. Not as empty. I called Helen and invited over tonight, to meet my parents, she carefully kept away from the baby topic with me. I knew she was still unsure if this was wanted or not. Sam didn't talk to her about it. I pattered around, weeding the small garden I'd started, and planting flowers in a box outside the tiny window in the front of the house. I picked some flowers and took them back inside an put them in the china pitcher I'd put back together that I'd thrown at Sam. It seemed so ridiculous now.

I saw Jared loping towards me from the edge of the woods, shirtless of course. "Hey" he said as he sat on the porch as I wiped the soil off my hands onto my pants. "Paul's still asleep" I explained. Jared nodded "I figured, Sam told me to come get him, and then go home and see my mom for a while, she thinks I'm up to no good" he smiled. I led Jared inside "Let him sleep while I fix you something". He didn't argue as I threw together a sandwich stacked with cold cuts. I pushed it at him. "Here". Jared gratefully started eating. Between chews he spoke in his soft voice "Sam said that-" he swallowed "that he would be here for dinner". I smiled at Jared, liking him even more for the message he relayed. "So I thought about maybe, getting you three to do some painting for me in your spare time". Jared nodded, agreeing. "Yeah Sam didn't really do much with place did he?" he looked around. "It looks tons better than when he bought it though".

"Well, it gives the pack a place to hide out at, and me somewhere to live" I smiled at Jared, knowing Sam had probably shared those memories with him. Jared stood up "You know you hurt him the other day" he said quietly. I looked at him, wondering what had brought this on. "Sam wouldn't ever tell you though, that he hurts when you hurt, he loves you so much it drives us all crazy". This was new. "We can see you when he dreams, you're lucky to have him you know". I nodded quickly "I know, I don't think I deserve his adoration sometimes though, I haven't exactly been making this easy on him".

"Sam doesn't like you being mad at him either. It throws him off.". Jared's eyes flickered to my right side. "Every time he sees those… scars.. He feels guilty for that". I touched my face lightly "I did it, I know he tells you he did, but it was my fault". This was the first time I'd talked about this with anyone. "I pushed him, I wouldn't leave him alone". I was remembering that day. "Sam hadn't been changed but a couple of months and couldn't keep his self as calm as he can now, I yelled at him. I was scared he'd leave me". I was whispering now. "But he's never left me. Not even after I've treated him so badly, arguing with him, not showing him any compassion". Jared was listening, he looked intrigued by hearing the other side of the story of everything Sam had stored in his mind. "I cant be without him though, and he cant be without me.". I smiled at Jared kindly, "Don't let him fool you, he's not as scary and strict as he pretends to be".

Jared laughed "I guess you kind of got a bum deal on this. Three werewolves to worry after. Well, four now". I laughed back at him "I do it because I want to, I like having you guys around. It gives me a sense of family". Jared held my gaze for a moment "I think you have something else to rely on for that". I nodded happily and broke the gaze. "I do". I felt a grin on my face. Paul stirred, our laughing must have woken him. He sat up swiftly and came in the kitchen where we were talking. "Where's Sam?" he asked Jared yawning. "With Embry, he's waiting for us so he can come back here, for some reason he's acting even worse than usual about being away from.." he glanced at me. I smirked at them "Go on then, and I'll see you two later". They both waved their good byes as they went to the woods to phase, I was always careful not to look in the direction for a few minutes.

I started making dinner for everyone a little earlier than usual. I looked anxiously for Sam, he still didn't come back an hour after the boys had left. The front door opened slowly. I knew who it was without looking. Helen smiled at me brightly as she dropped her purse on the counter "How are you feeling Emily?" she said as she washed her hands in the sink to help me. I shrugged "Sick. Tired. But I'm trying to keep up beat". I gave her a small smile as I cut a few tomatoes up into slices. "I'm surprised your parents accepted everything so suddenly". I shrugged as I wiped my hands on a towel "I'm happy they did though".

I heard Sam slam the front door, "I'm back" he said giving me a look that sent shivers down my spine. "Good, my parents will be here soon" I said, giving him the same, smoldering look back. Sam made a face as he headed up the stairs, "Guess I better take a shower then, they'll really think I'm up to no good if they could see me now". I couldn't help but grin at him as he trudged up the stairs, he had leaves in his hair, and dirt splotches all over his chest and back, and no shoes. Helen caught my eye and exchanged an amused look with me. "Looks like a rough day at the office" she joked. I laughed at her as I went in the laundry and grabbed him a towel, remembering there weren't any upstairs. "I'll be right back" I said to Helen as I went upstairs, hopefully he didn't lock the door.

I could hear the shower running, I raised my fist to knock and then decided against it and pushed the door open. He was still standing there, half dressed looking at his self in the mirror. I smirked at him as I handed him the towel "I know you're not bad looking but staring at yourself is just being vain". Sam rolled his eyes and turned to look at me instead "You stare at yourself way more than I do" he quipped. I looked up at him, giving him the same look as earlier, in an instant he had pulled me closer to him.

"Earlier you didn't even want me to be semi close to you" he whispered. I kissed his neck lightly, regretting the past few days I'd forgone all contact with him. Sam's hand moved lower until he had lifted me onto the bathroom counter and was still standing there, kissing the scars on my face and neck. We were still in the experimental phase with each other, Sam was anything but awkward when we were alone, I was still timid, but definitely getting better at making it known what I wanted from him.

"Your mom's downstairs" I whispered to him as he nibbled on my ear. "I don't care" he mumbled as he finally kissed my lips. It was filled with complete passion as he kissed me. In between the kisses I said softly "I care though,". Sam didn't answer me, he only kept kissing down my jaw line. I couldn't help but murmur as he pressed his body against mine, "Stop" I whispered, I didn't really want him to stop, but I didn't want Helen or worse, my own mother to come upstairs either. Still, I couldn't help but tease him by running my fingers at his pants line. I could feel him through the fabric, "I want you" he said huskily as he tried to slide his hand into my skirt. I shoved his hand back up. I shook my head as I toyed with the waist band on the jeans. "We cant do this with her downstairs" I whispered to him. "It'll be too creepy, and I'm still not exactly quiet". Sam smirked as he took my hand and pulled the zipper down on his jeans. "Just five minutes" he pleaded. His pleas were starting to ware me down.

I pushed the jeans down and slid his boxers down next, so that they were at his ankles as I slid down from the counter and pushed him back slightly. I hadn't tried this before.

I ran my fingers up and down his thighs, watching his face as I leaned down and licked him with the tip of my tongue. He moaned and shut his eyes, one hand slowly reached around the back of my head and pushed me closer. I kept my eyes looking up at him and I took the head of him in my mouth. There was no way I'd be able to get anything more than that in my mouth. Sam was huge. He pushed my head down, entangling his fingers into my hair. "God.. You're good" he moaned as I bobbed my head up and down. I moved my tongue around him as I felt his hands tighten. "Move" he said hoarsely. Instead of moving I somehow managed to take a little bit more of his length in my throat, I felt his hands tighten in my hair as he groaned "Emily…" he mumbled. He moved to back off as he came, I grabbed his hips, watching his face.

"That was… amazing" he said I got back up, he grabbed me and pulled me closer, "That only made it worse though". I shook my head "Helen's probably already wondering what's taking me so long" The more I thought on that, she probably wasn't wondering now. Helen was far from stupid. "She'll figure it out" Sam murmured as he kissed my neck, biting on it. He lifted me back onto the bathroom counter and started trying to slip his hand into my skirt again. I leaned up, letting him. Forget Helen, I decided. She would realize it. Or maybe I can tell her I got sick I thought as I felt Sam's warm hand slip inside the boy shorts I had on.

I gasped when I felt him sliding a finger between my folds, instinctively I raised my hips. Sam smirked as he shoved my skirt up around my waist and tugged off my panties completely. I pulled him close as he slid his fingers back where they'd been. I pressed my face against his chest, willing myself to keep quiet as he expertly started to move in and out. I moaned lowly when I felt his hand rubbing gently on my nub. I clenched him as he slid another finger into me. Sam's hands alone could wow me. I was breathing heavily into his chest, holding him. A small squeak escaped me, "I cant.. Take this" I mumbled, trying to move away. Sam kissed me hard, "Hold still" he muttered. I heard a knock on the door.

I froze, Sam only smirked his hands kept going. "Umm.. Ugh.. Yeah?" I managed to say. "I was just checking to see if everything was okay?" Helen's voice came through the door. I took a deep breath "I'm not feeling good, I've been throwing up, I'll be down before my mom gets here though". Helen paused before saying anything "Ok well I'm down here if you need anything". I waited until I was sure she'd walked off before popping Sam. "That's not even fair" I exclaimed. He tried not to laugh "It bought us more time though". Of course he would see it like that. "Okay.. We have to be really quiet though" I said, surprising myself that I would be willing to go along with this.

Sam grinned as he moved me around, moving me so that I was turned over with my back to him, still on the counter. "Don't you dare drop me" I warned him. "I wont. " he said eyeing me. I placed my hands on the cool counter, glancing behind me. Sam was staring at me still. "This is kind of.. Hot" he said bluntly as he pushed my back down lower. I winced as he entered me. The size was still hard to handle. I pressed my hands onto the counter, trying not to moan as he started thrusting slowly. This was way better than anything we'd done before. I moved my hips opposite of him, intensifying it. Sam held onto my sides as he sped up. I couldn't help it. I started gasping, moaning, "Shh" he whispered as he thrust harder into me. I bit down on my lip, whimpering lowly as I heard him groan his self.

"Sam---" I managed to get out. My hand was on the mirror now, pleasure was rocking me, "Sam-- I'm going to make too much noise if you don't stop". Sam didn't slow, instead he reached around and put his hand over my mouth, keeping any noises I made muffled. I bit down on his palm as I tightened around him, he was hitting the exact spot I needed him to. . "mmmppphhmmhh" was all that came from me. I could feel him reaching his own high inside of me. My chest was rising and falling hard as I turned to a sitting position. I was panting from it. "I don't think I can walk" I admitted, making him grin at me. "That was the best yet" I told him, kissing him as he leaned down.

Sam kissed me back, "I think it was the whole secrecy thing". I laughed at him as I reached for my panties and slipped them on

under skirt. "I'm tired". Sam pulled back the shower curtain "I really do have to take a shower now, your parents will be here any minute". I looked at my watch. We'd been up here for thirty minutes. That was actually pretty good time. "I've got to get back downstairs" I told him as he stepped into the shower. "I'll be down in a few" he said, looking into my eyes, the love for me was in them with that look. 'I love you" I said loudly as I shut the door.

I walked slowly down the stairs, I could hear Helen talking to someone. My parents, I realized, I must have been upstairs longer than I'd realized. I put a smile on as I went into the kitchen "Sorry, I had to help him find a couple of things" I lied. My mom enveloped me into a tight hug, as soon as she released me, my dad bear hugged me next. "Its fine honey, we were enjoying talking to Mrs. Uley anyways". "Sit down, everything will be done in a few minutes, can I get you anything to drink?" I asked, trying to show I was more than willing to be overly nice to them. I fixed them both glasses of sweet tea, which I usually kept fixed for Jared anyways. "Are the boys coming over too?" Helen asked as she got plates down. I shook my head quickly "No, not tonight, I think they were going to do some.. Hunting". She took my meaning and frowned slightly. My mom cleared her throat "We heard from Harry and Sue what a good job Sam does with the younger boys around here". So Harry was the reason why my parents were being so understanding now.

My dad was looking at Sam's wolf décor in the living room, "Did Sam do all of this?" he wondered aloud. I smiled "He did, its sort of.. His collection I guess you could say". My mom was looking around at the pictures I'd hung of Sam when he was younger, "Amazing how different he looked" she commented. I heard footsteps and ran to the foot of the stairs, earning a scowl from my mom. Sam kissed me on the cheek as he walked to speak with my dad, shaking his hand. "Glad you guys came" he said, sounding like he really was glad. My dad couldn't help but be nice to him "I'm only sorry we didn't come sooner". The two men chatted about the work Sam had done to the house, and the larger than normal yard Sam had fenced in.

Helen was making small talk with my mom, "It really is good to finally meet you," she said once more as I called them al to be seated at the table. Here was the real test. Sam was doing a good job of being the perfect son in law, Helen was polite and outgoing, my parents were being opened minded, but I was still iffy. I fixed Sam's plate and sat it down in front of him and slid into my chair, without getting myself one. Helen gave me a stern look "You need to eat too". Sam glanced at her, "She doesn't have to". My mom smiled at the bickering between Helen and Sam, "Emily's always been different with her eating habits". We ate dinner and dessert without one bad word between any of us. My mom asked me to show her the rest of the house, I was happy I'd left things in the spare bedroom. She would think I still slept in there. I led her and Helen both to the upstairs, noting what we'd fixed or painted since I'd moved in. I saw immediate relief when I took my mom into the bright yellow bedroom where my clothes still were. If she only knew, I thought to myself. Helen looked at me funny, I'd left out this part when I told her about our fight.

As we went back down the stairs, I stopped and let them pass by me as I clutched the rail, I was dizzy. I shut my eyes and opened the, blinking a few times, before I started walking down them again. Sam was being careful not to crowd me in front of my mom, and I knew it was killing him not to rush over to me right now. He was standing in the doorway with them, telling them good bye, inviting them back, laughing, I knew it was all an act though. As soon as he shut the door he was beside me, "What's wrong?" he demanded, rubbing my back. "You look sick again". I sighed "I get light headed is all, I guess from not being able to eat'. He frowned at me, "You cant starve yourself Em, I don't like seeing you like this".

Helen was pushing him away from me, "Oh you leave her alone, its perfectly normal" she chastised him. "Everyone goes through this stage". I made a face at him, and stood up from my preferred spot on the couch, "I'm fine". Sam leaned on the counter, his eyes on me as I did the dishes with Helens help. "Maybe you shouldn't be doing all the housework" he said like it was an accusation. I rolled my eyes at him "I'm pregnant, not disabled".

We argued until after Helen left, but in a joking way. I wasn't sure I could really argue with Sam again. The love between us was going stronger and stronger day by day. I could feel it. "I talked to Paul and Jared earlier" I said watching Sam as he scribbled in a notebook. "I know, I saw it" he said with a smile. "You're making Paul nervous. He feels all anxious around you now'. I laughed, picturing Paul, the most volatile wolf of the pack worrying. "I found something that makes me hate my dad even more". He was talking without showing any emotion now, "I think Embry might be.. Well I think he might be.. My brother". I was shocked. "How though?"

Sam snorted "How else? He cheated on my mom with Diane Call obviously". I narrowed my eyes, thinking "Couldn't his dad be someone else?" I asked. Sam closed his notebook "There's only three possibilities, and I'd rather not think that Billy or Quil cheated on their wives, it just makes sense". I bit my lip, so I had a possible brother in law. "Does he know?". He shook his head "No, I'm not telling him, not yet anyways". Without thinking, I was touching my stomach again, I was having a werewolf. I laughed out loud, earning a look from Sam, who seemed determined to be in a bad mood now. "Sorry" I said softly. Sam leaned back on the couch, watching the tv. "I'll be out with the pack a lot the next couple of weeks" he told me, sounding sorry about it.

I was inching towards him on the couch, "I don't care. I'll find something to do". I had no idea what though. I crawled on top of him, straddling him. "That's what I'm afraid of' he said with a grin as he put his hands on my hips. "You worry too much, I have a lot to do anyways, baby stuff". I loved the word. Baby. It made my heart want to explode every time I thought or heard it. Sam was gazing up at me, his love in his eyes. "I don't see how I didn't find out before you did, I can hear the heart beat now" he said as he pulled me down for a kiss. "Paul and Jared said the same thing". I was jealous they could hear something I couldn't.

"I feel so.. Happy right now" I said as I stayed bent down, hugging him. "So happy I could bust". Sam laughed and stroked my hair "I know the feeling, everything seems so.. Perfect. I have you, we're having the baby you wanted so bad, and now your mom doesn't seem to hate me". He grinned at he last part. "I think she realized we came as a package deal" I joked as I kissed him on the ear, I let bit down on it slightly, making him jerk from me. He had a shocked expression, I didn't usually act like this even though we'd slept together a few times now. "what's gotten into you?" he asked amused. I shrugged and tickled the back of his neck. "I don't know" I admitted. I couldn't help but lean down again and run my tongue on the side of his neck.

"It should happen more often, I can definitely handle this part of the pregnancy though, twice in one day is perfectly fine" he said as he slid hands up the sides of my shirt. I could feel his warm hands on me when I kissed him, wanting to show him as much attention as he usually did me. I bit his bottom lip, and he moved up slightly so that he was kissing me back now. "You're beautiful" he whispered to me, touching my jaw. I pulled his shirt off and tossed it over the back of the couch, he was pulling on mine now. It had been too long, even though it had only been a few hours, I decided as his lips kissed my collar bone hungrily. Sam unbuttoned my shirt and slid it off, "Too long" he said as I shifted on top of him to pulled off his jeans. No boxers of course. I stood up and stepped out of the skirt I'd been wearing before I climbed back on top of him.

Sam's mouth ran from my ear lobe down to my belly button, I was half laying on him, as he kissed me, his hands tangled in my hair. Suddenly it seemed, the heat from him was getting to me. It was making me feel sick, being so hot. I jerked away swallowing "I can't" I said as I got up quickly, putting my shirt on. "What happened?" Sam said, sitting up and grabbing his jeans off the floor. I shook my head at him as I went to the downstairs bathroom, as I walked to the tiny bathroom we never used down here I felt sharp pains shoot through me. As if he could sense it, Sam was leaning beside when I sat up down on the linoleum. I held myself tightly, what was happening? I felt another sharp jab this time in my pelvic bone.

Sam tried to pull my arms from around my stomach "I can tell something's not right, do you hurt? Is that it?" he asked looking concerned. I nodded, tearing up. My precious baby, nothing could happen to my baby, I couldn't stand it if something happened. I looked at him "Can you call your mom?" He jumped up and ran into the kitchen with his amazing speed and dialed Helen for me. "Tell her.. Tell her I don't feel good" I whispered as I let myself fall over, laying on the cold floor. Sam kept a hand on me protectively, "She said she doesn't feel good, she wont let go of her stomach" he was telling her, I whispered "Tell her I hurt, bad". Sam listened as Helen spoke "'she said its okay Emily, she said as long as you're not bleeding you're fine". He was trying to reassure the both of us I knew. "No, I don't think you need to, she wants to know if you want to go the hospital?". His eyes told me he wanted to but I shook my head. I didn't want to stand up from here.

He hung up with her, "Mom said if you keep hurting you have to go ok?" He kissed the top of my head, and placing his hands over mine, "I know what you're thinking". I let a single tear fall my eyes and slide down my cheek "I'll be okay, I just.. Over did it today". I thought back to the cleaning and the chores I'd done, plus fussing over the boys when they came in. "Will you take me upstairs?" . Sam gathered me in his arms, carrying me to our room carefully. "Don't move from here" he warned me as he pulled the blankets over me. "If you need something I'll get it". He sat on top of the blankets, and I knew then he planned to stay up all night and watch me.


	28. Chapter 28

oK guys, this was a hard chapter to write, I wasnt sure where to go with this, but I hope you dont hate me after you read it :(

Chapter 28 Free falling

I kept waking up during the night, feeling his eyes on me as I slept until finally I woke up and it was bright outside. Sam wasn't in the room with me anymore. I sat up, rubbing my eyes, I felt fine. Maybe a little nauseous but that was an always now days. As I stood up I felt dizzy and light headed. I grabbed onto the dresser for support. Everything was unfocused as I stood there. Whoa… I thought to myself as I started walking slowly this time, Last thing I need is to pass out. I held on tightly to the stairs as I went down them, Sam was downstairs, I could tell from the sound of running water. I wondered what time it was as I went to the kitchen and sat down heavily. I felt awful. Dizzy, nauseous. I slumped over looking at Sam as he washed his bowl from whatever he'd ate. He had on grease stained clothes. "I have to go to work today. I called Mrs. Narata and my mom though, and Paul's not going to school today anyways, so they'll take turns checking on you". So now I needed a baby sitter. I gave him a look as he put a cup of juice down in front of me, and a small white pill. "Take that' he said as he turned back around and started putting his shoes on. I didn't touch the pill as I sipped the juice. "What is it?" I asked, I wasn't taking anything. "Vitamin, you're not eating enough" he said simply. "You need to rest ok? When Paul comes by he can take care of his self".

I knew I wouldn't lay down all day. I had too much I needed to do. "Fine, whatever you want master" I said grumpily. Sam kissed my forehead "I'll call you ok?". I nodded as he walked out the back door "Love you' he said as he grabbed the keys off the counter. "Love you too" I grumbled, not sounding the least bit like I loved him. I got up and shuffled around the kitchen, making myself a piece of toast.

I sat down and bit into it, going over my plans for the day. I wanted to scrub the floors upstairs, and check on my garden. I chewed, Maybe I would walk over to Mrs. Narata's house and save her the trip. I swallowed, surprising myself by eating the whole slice. I got up and went to the couch and turned the tv on, feeling tired. I had barely shut my eyes when I heard Paul's familiar knock, and his foot steps across the floor a second later. He'd quit waiting for me to answer the door and took to letting his self in and out. He grunted his good morning and sank down the recliner looking as tired as I did. "Hey Paul" I said, trying to make him talk. Paul over gave me a patronizing look as he laid back in the chair and shut his eyes. "I don't like this anymore than you' he mumbled.

I smiled, of course Paul wouldn't risk being so nice to me twice in the same week. It would ruin his rep as the pack bad ass. Paul opened one eye "Quit looking at me" he snapped. He rolled over, I laughed in spite of myself "Why didn't you go to school?" I asked cautiously. Paul sighed "I got three days suspension for fighting". Go figure there I thought. "Do you want something?" I asked. Paul shook his head quickly "Sam said for you to just lay there, he told my mom I was helping you do some yard work today". So Paul was here for the entire day, Sam had lied.

"You can talk to me you know, Sam doesn't mind" I said slowly. Sam probably the three boys scared to death to even come close to me. 'I know I can" Paul snapped. I knew by now not to let his attitude bother me. The only person he wasn't like this with was Sam. "So, do you have a girlfriend?" I asked, watching his face. Paul's lip twitched "Kind of" he replied. That was a start, "Kind of?". Paul shrugged "I don't know what you would call her.. I'm not exactly boyfriend material right now". I smiled over at him, "Is Embry coming around?" I prodded him. Paul nodded "Yeah, he came out with me and Jared last night, he might come by later with us". I wanted to meet this boy who was possibly my family. Whether I knew the truth or not, he would be treated that way.

"You know Paul, I'll be fine alone if you want to go back home" It was a long shot. For all I knew, Sam had ordered him to stay. Paul snorted "Fat chance of that, Sam would rip me to shreds". I narrowed my eyes, willing him to go now. "I guess I'll go upstairs then, there's some stuff I need to do up there". I could have sworn I saw Paul's lip curl over his teeth "I think you should stay down here where I can see you". This was going to be difficult. Surely, I could out smart a teenage werewolf. I got up from the couch and started up the stairs, getting dizzy. I stopped and held onto the rail on the third step.

Paul was watching me, I could tell, I took a deep breath, trying not to let it show, or I'd never get away from him. I took another step before I finally sat down. The room spun around me, I could feel that I was about to be sick. Paul had moved from the recliner and was standing a few feet away from me, watching curiously. "You ok?" he asked finally. I didn't even pay him attention. "Emily?" he said louder as I closed my eyes. I felt him poke me "Should I call Sam?". I shook my head as I stood up again, "I'll be okay in a minute" I said softly, hoping he believed me.

He scowled "You want me to take you to the bathroom or put you on the couch?". I nodded "Help me to the bathroom". Hesitantly, like it hurt him to touch me, I felt him moving me into the tiny bathroom. "Go away " I said giving him a look. Paul stood in the door, not sure of what to do. "What if you get sick or something and I cant hear you?" he questioned. I leaned over the toilet, "You're a wolf, you can hear me". He took that as a good enough answer and walked off to sit down again. As soon as he did I shut the door and threw up. I'd heard of morning sickness before, but it seemed mine was worse somehow. I sat there for a while until Paul was back, knocking on the door. "Come on" he grumbled. I opened the door a crack for him to see me. "I'm sick". Paul nodded, his eyes seemed to be softer than they did earlier as he looked at me.

"I don't feel good at all" I said in a feeble voice. I kept getting sick after eating hardly anything. I felt sorry for my poor baby, I wasn't eating enough for either of us but I couldn't keep it down if I did. I pulled my knees to my chest, "Paul?" I said in a shaky voice. Paul nodded, showing that he was listening. "Will you.. Just sit here?" I asked feeling like a child. Paul looked horrified for a moment. "I don't know if that's such a good idea" he said uncomfortable. "Sam might not like that'. I gave him a teary look "But I'll feel better". Paul sighed and ran a hand through his shaggy hair, "Well.. Argh.. Okay" He sat down next to me, careful not to touch me as he did. "Why are you so scared of me?" I asked him. Paul shrugged, playing it off "You're his and he means it. If I did something he didn't like… well.." I got the idea.

I leaned on him, making him flinch, he was careful not move as I did. "Thanks for staying here, I know he made you but still". Paul nodded looking down at the floor. "What were you like before this?" I asked him. I wanted to know what Paul used to be. Paul shrugged, "Nicer I guess, not as muscsly and I played football and had a normal life just like you did". He didn't sound like he wished to have it back though. "I met your mom you know, she was worried" I told him softly. "She thanked us for helping you". Paul smiled faintly "She thinks I sneak out to see girls or something unless Sam calls her". I couldn't picture Paul out with an actual girl. "Sam told us not to date. He said it was too dangerous. We might lose our temper". I looked at him as he finally relaxed with me being close to him. "He doesn't understand though. He has you. I used to have a normal life". I patted his hand lightly with my scarred one. "Take his word Paul".

Paul looked at my hand "He thinks I'm too short tempered". He said it in a disgusted voice. I smiled at him "You are kind of.. Temperamental Paul". Paul laughed "I guess I am huh? I must not be too bad if I'm watching the boss's girlfriend though". I popped him "You wont hurt me. I know you wont. So does Sam". He nodded "You're not so bad, I'll deny it though later when they see this". I thought about it, Sam would see me leaning on Paul, I wondered briefly if it would even anger him. "He's not as scary as you think either". I told him. Paul smirked "Not to you he's not. To us, yes." . I smiled at that, "Sam's a good man Paul, he just does what he thinks is best for you guys".

"Making us all uncles is not what's best. I'm too young for this'. Ah, the grouchy Paul was back. "Don't you have any brothers or sisters?" I asked, trying to force him into being nice again. Paul smiled happily at that "I have a sister. She's only six, and my brothers are my pack brothers". I should have known he'd count them as his family. "Do you miss her?". I knew what this life did to your family more than anyone. He shook his head "Its better that I'm not around her so much, or at home a lot really". I frowned "Why do you say that?". Paul shut his eyes, his head moving side to side like he was trying to calm his self down or something. "Its not so good at my house". My eyes widened then, "You can tell me". No wonder Paul acted the way he did. "I know I can" he snapped as he shivered slightly. For some reason, with him shaking so much I still wasn't worried about him phasing. "My dad's not so good. Or my mom for that matter. My dad finally quit hitting me around so much once I phased and grew into this".

Poor Paul, he had it tougher than I thought. "Don't you worry about your sister?". He sighed and nodded slowly "I go by there a lot at night and see her through the window, to check". My heart went out to Paul and his sister, I would have never guessed that the kind woman I met in the furniture store lived like this. I moved from him quickly as I threw myself at the toilet. As I heaved I could feel pains shooting through me again. Paul looked away as I was sick "Should I go get you something?" he asked the nervousness coming back. "No. I'll be okay" I said as I got up shakily to rinse my mouth out again. Something didn't feel right with me. I could feel his eyes on me, did he sense it somehow?

"You should eat something" he said not moving to help me. I knew I needed to eat, it might help me from feeling so weak. I didn't feel like standing there to fix anything though. Paul had a pained expression as he dragged me to the couch, "Good thing he's coming home soon" he said grumpily. I laid back into the soft cushions, "I'd feel better if you all left me alone". Paul scowled as he walked off into my kitchen. I could hear him banging around "Do you need some help?" I called out. He came walking back in and threw a pack of crackers at me. "At least eat those" he said back to his tough guy routine. I obligingly opened them and nibbled, my stomach did feel better now.

We sat there in complete silence until I heard Sam's truck pulling in. In a flash Paul was up, stretching, pulling his shirt off. "Bye" I called out as he hurried down the steps of the porch, ready to get away from me. Sam came in a moment later, carrying a few grocery bags. "What's his problem?" he said with a smile as I rolled off the couch. "He thinks you're going to kill him for one thing" I said as I hugged him tightly. Sam laughed "What did he do?". I shrugged as I sat down at the table, watchinas he unloaded everything he'd brought back with him. "I made him stay with me, in the bathroom while I was sick" I said slowly, waiting for his reaction. Sam only frowned for a moment "Did he behave?"

"Of course, Paul was the perfect gentlemen as always." I smiled when I said, thinking of how he shook earlier. "You lied to me" I said, thinking back on it. "You said they would call, not that Paul was coming to baby sit me all day". Sam was washing off pieces of chicken the sink, his back to me. "Here let me" I said getting up and going to shove him out of the way. "You've been at work while I lounged around". He gave me a hard look "I can cook dinner for you, if you'll even eat it". I tossed the same look back at him "Paul fed me". Sam snickered "What? Cheerios?".

I made a face "Crackers and water, I felt like I was a prisoner". Sam kissed my cheek as I took over the job of battering the raw chicken to fry "I didn't think you liked chicken" I commented. "No but you do, and I want you to eat a whole meal tonight", he said watching me. "I want to go shopping tomorrow" I told him bluntly. "I want to start buying a few things for the baby". I felt a surge of love as I said baby. "I'll take you or mom will, I don't want you out alone until you start doing better". I rolled my eyes at him as he sat down and popped open a coke. "I'm fine, its normal to be sick you know, I think its cause this is only our first baby" I blushed after what I said. "I mean.. if you want more after this one".

Sam smiled at me "I want as many as you'll have". I sat down next to him, waiting for the chicken to get done and took his large, calloused hands in my small, soft ones and pressed on my abdomen "Hard to believe that there's a baby in there right now isn't it?" I said softly. He rubbed his thumb against my skin "I only wish you weren't so sick". I got up and flipped the chicken over and stirred around the mac and cheese. I held my nose away as I lifted the greasy chicken from the pot. Ugh, I'd never be able to swallow that. As I lifted the hot, grease filled pan to move it off the burner I got a sharp pain again. I dropped the pan immediately, holding myself, gasping. This one was worse than the others, hot grease fell everywhere and the pan clattered to the floor just missing my bare feet.

"Sit down" Sam was ordering me, I wouldn't move though, I held myself with one hand and the counter with the other. He jerked my hand free from the counter and pulled me to floor to sit down. "You need to go to a doctor, you've waited too long already". I wasn't listening to him. "Emily?" he said, shaking me a little bit. "Say something". I just shook my head "I have an appointment for next Monday" I whispered. I didn't want to go the emergency room. It would be a bad omen. If I stayed home stubbornly, then everything would be ok until Monday. I was too scared to go. I didn't want to find out something was wrong with me or my baby.

Sam stayed there, huddled beside, an arm around my shoulders, "I don't want anything to happen because you didn't go". I heard the almost scared tone in his voice and knew that it would tear him apart as much as it would me if I lost the baby. "We'll be okay, its gone now" I said softly, I moved to get up and he growled slightly. I sat back down instantly "I need to clean up this mess Sam", looking around at the grease covering everything. "It can wait a while" he said, as he pulled me into his lap. "I really wish you'd go to the er though". I sighed "I don't need to go, I can tell I don't it's mothers instincts Sam, you don't have those".

"I know I don't, I just don't like this. Something's not right" he said, rubbing his eyes. "Everything's fine" I tried to reassure him. "We need to get up so you can eat" I reminded him. Sam got up slowly, pulling me up with him, "I'll clean up the mess" he told me. I didn't argue with him as I slumped down into a chair at the table. He fixed a plate and put it in front of me. "Eat" he said simply, pushing a fork towards me. I groaned as I took the first bite while he looked on to make sure I swallowed it. I was halfway through a piece of the chicken when the back door swung open. Jared and the boy who must be Embry were standing there. Sam nodded a greeting to them, he was standing up as he ate. Jared glanced at the mess "What happened?"

"Emily dropped the pan on accident" was all he said. Embry looked uncomfortable by Jared. "Embry, this is Emily, my girlfriend" Sam introduced us. I offered him a small smile "Hi". Embry nodded, and smiled back, his eyes only scanning over my face one time before looking away. "You guys get something if you're hungry" I said trying to make Embry feel more at ease. "Don't mind me". Jared nudged Embry and handed him a plate, Sam moved out of the way as they grabbed what they wanted and sat down by me. I sneaked a peek at Embry. He did look like Sam. A younger Sam. He had the same lean,thin body build that Sam had had.

He looked Paul and Jared too of course. But there was something in his facial features that made me think of Sam. I looked away, hoping he hadn't noticed. "So what are you two up to tonight?" I asked them, making small talk. Jared shrugged "I guess patrol, Embry's still learning". Embry nodded, he looked sad it seemed. "Yeah, its not so bad now. I still wish I could talk to Jake and Quil though". He said it longingly. I knew at once the two boys he spoke of though. "You have us now" Sam said pointedly. "We're your friends now. You're family". Embry sighed "I know Sam, I still want to hang out with them too though". I knew already Sam wouldn't allow that. He didn't believe in letting the boys too close to their former friends. Paul and Jared had just been lucky.

I glanced at Embry "It'll get easier" I said softly, knowing I really didn't know if it would or wouldn't. Sam had learned to live with it pretty well at least. He looked at me for a second "I guess so". Jared cleared his throat "So you coming out with us tonight Sam?" At the same time he said no I said yes. The boys both looked confused. Sam glared at me "I'm staying here with you". I huffed "You should go out with them. I'll be okay I swear, I can always step out and call you".

Jared looked up at Sam "She has a point man, she can always find us. Paul's got to take a break before we do anyways. He can always stop in". Embry was nodding, agreeing, Sam sighed and looked at me "I guess I will". I couldn't help but smile when he agreed. A moment completely alone.

Sam pointed at the mess "Clean this up" he said, sounding like it was order to the boys. "I'll do it" I offered getting up. Jared and Embry were already wiping it up. Sam headed up the stairs, "I'll be right back". I looked down at the boys, "Leave it, he thinks I'm too fragile but its not going to hurt me to wipe up something". Jared smirked at me "I heard you and Paul had a good day together". I swatted him as I walked by, teetering "He was my warden" I joked. I headed up the steps one at a time, pausing in between. "Sam?" I said loudly as I hit the top step.

"In here" he said from the bedroom. I walked in slowly "See? I can walk" I said with a grin. Sam had thrown me some clothes on the bed. "Go on and take a shower while I'm here" he said as he tugged out of his jeans. "What are you going to do?" I asked curiously. He didn't usually change clothes to just phase and bust out of them. "I'm taking a shower too" he said like it was no big deal. I looked at him like he was crazy. "Jared and Embry are downstairs" I argued. Sam was getting his own clothes out now. "I know, and they'll wait for me, I'm fixing to go tell them I'm waiting to make sure you're in bed ok". I sighed "Sam…" I wasn't sure how to say this. I didn't want to make him think it was his fault. "I don't want to.. I don't want to have sex".

I heard him laugh. "I didn't say we were doing anything but taking a shower" he said smirking at me. "I didn't think your mind worked like that". I grabbed the pile of clothes off the bed "No but yours does". Sam grabbed me when I went to walk out of the room and took my face in his hands "I love you" he said as he kissed me lightly on the lips before releasing me. "I just don't want anything to happen to you. Or our baby." I nodded, and hugged him "I know you don't, I just wish you'd.. back off a bit". Sam hugged me back tightly, "I will once you quit looking so pale all the time,". He released me, "I love you too" I said as I headed to the bathroom.

I started the water and undressed slowly, I was eight weeks along, but I couldn't help but look in the mirror at myself. I got in the hot water, wondering where Sam was. I needed this bath, it was already making me feel better. I shut my eyes, letting the water beat down me, the shower curtain pulled back as Sam stood there. "I can bathe myself" I grumbled. I massaged the shampoo over my scalp, and then turned to glare at him "Stop looking at me like that' I snapped at him. Sam just smiled at me, "I cant help it". I rinsed the suds off me quickly as I turned the water off Sam grabbed a towel and held out for me to step into. "Thanks" I said as I wrapped it around myself. He stayed in the bathroom until I'd dressed and brushed my teeth and then followed me back downstairs where I could hear Jared and Embry laughing at something.

Embry looked up as I sat down on the couch by him, "You look better" he commented. He was going to fit in just fine, I decided. "I feel better too" I said with a small smile. Jared hopped up excitedly "Lets go, I'm ready". Sam opened the door "Come on then". The younger boys practically ran out of the house, excited they had got their Alpha to go with them. Sam walked over to me and kissed me a last time before he left "Call mom if you don't feel right ok? I won't be too far from home". I nodded and hugged him tightly before he left.

I went to the kitchen and cleaned up, putting the leftovers in the fridge. Paul would probably turn up late tonight hungry. I fixed a bowl of ice cream and took it into the living room along with the phone. I dialed Helen, letting it ring a few times before she answered "Is everything ok?" was the first thing that left her mouth. I laughed "Everything's fine, I was just calling to tell you I don't think you need to check on me tonight if Sam told you to". Helen didn't say anything right away. "He has good intentions Emily" she finally said. "I know, but really its okay tonight if you don't come by, Ill call if I need you". We talked for a few more minutes, before we hung up though, I had her convinced not to check in on me.

I carried the empty bowl to the sink and tossed it in and went upstairs to gather some laundry Sam had tossed into a corner. I stopped in the bathroom and grabbed the hamper that was almost too stuffed to carry. I felt a lot better. Not sick or tired. I whistled as I picked up Sam's mess of clothes he has thrown everywhere. By the time I everything picked up, the hamper was too heavy to pick up. I sighed as I dragged it towards the stairs inch by inch. I paused at the top, and looked at the basket, wondering if I should just roll it down.

I decided to chance it and picked it up a little bit as I went down the first step. I sat it down on the next one and lifted it again, I'd have to take this one step at a time. On the third step, when I lifted the basket, the room started to spin around. I grabbed for the rail and tripped over the hamper I was dragging. Frantically I grabbed for something to hold on to as I fell, I let out a scream. I rolled all the way to bottom of the stairs, hitting the floor hard. I was sobbing, trying to catch my breath. The phone was upstairs. My baby, my baby I thought as I laid there, I was in so much pain I couldn't get up. I tried to sit up and let out a yelp.

I clutched my stomach tightly as an unbearable pain came through me. "Help!" I called out knowing no one could hear me. I couldn't get up. I laid there crying as blood started pouring from me. "No no no no!" I wailed. Another round of pain came through my pelvic bone as another gush of blood came with it. 'I've got to keep the baby" I whispered as I tried to crawl to the front door, I'd only pulled myself a few inches when I had to stop. "Sam!" I yelled "Please…" I wept. I laid there sobbing and bleeding alone, helpless as my baby was dying inside of me.

I was starting to feel weak, my eyes fluttered open and closed in between my cries to no one. I felt a pair of warm hands on me 'Emily?!" the deep voice asked me worriedly. "Emily what happened? Where's the phone? I need to call someone to help you". I whispered "My baby". I opened my eyes. It wasn't Sam. Paul. Paul had found me. I started crying even harder as Paul exploded into a silver wolf in front of me. I kept my arms on myself, I wanted my baby so bad.

I heard a faint pop and Paul was back by me. "Emily, Sam's on his way, I need to move you ok?". His arms were under me as I was lifted onto the couch, "What happened to you?" he was asking. It was like he wasn't even there. "Paul… " I whispered. He looked terrified as he held me, holding my hands. "If you can tell me where the phone is I'll call an ambulance" he tried to reason with me. I just shook my head, as I cried out, as another gut wrenching pain came. "Paul.. Help me". He looked at me, "I'm trying … I don't know what to do".

I shut my eyes again, giving into the weakness. "Emily" Sam's voice rang out. I was being moved again. "Shit.. What happened?" He was talking to Paul. I was being put in the backseat of Sam's truck. "Sam.. I'm sorry.." I warbled as I cried even harder. "Shh.. Its okay.. You're okay" he cooed to me. He was in the back with me. I reached out for him "The baby" I said. I knew I wasn't making sense to them. They had to understand I wanted to save the baby. His hand stroked my face, "The baby will be okay too, you'll both be fine". I shut my eyes, I was in pain. Sam was talking to someone urgently, I could tell there were bright lights.

"She's eight weeks pregnant, I think she fell down the stairs" Sam was saying, talking fast. I was on a hospital bed now, being hooked up to something. "I don't know how long she was there before he found her". I opened my eyes, seeing only colors swirling around me. "I want the baby" I said to no one. "We're going to do everything we can to save your baby Mrs. Uley". I tried to sit up, and was pushed back down again "Don't try to move, just let us look at you" a soothing voice told me. I winced as more pain came. "Sam?" I wanted my Sam with me.

"I'm here" his voice sounded thick like he was trying not to cry. "I'm not leaving you". I nodded, shutting my eyes, letting everything fade away. Sam wouldn't let anything happen to my baby.


	29. Chapter 29

This was another tough chapter to write, I hope you guys like this chapter, and I would like to give a HUGE thanks to my new beta mediate89 for reviewing this for me and editing it out, I really really needed that lol. So hope you like it, and hope you review!!

Chapter 29- Cuts

I could hear a beeping sound. It was coming from somewhere close. I opened my eyes slowly "Sam?" I said softly. He was beside me in an instant, looking down at me.

"I'm here," he said, gazing into my eyes. "I never left you." I felt better knowing that.

"I feel sore" I whispered. Sam's eyes looked darker than usual.

"You'll be okay soon". He stroked my scarred cheek.

"What about the baby? How's my baby?"

Sam didn't say anything at first. My eyes widened "Sam... my baby?" He crawled onto the side of bed and sat beside me, pulling me to his chest.

"You… you lost the baby last night." His voice cracked as he spoke.

I clutched him as I cried. "You're lying," I accused as I sobbed. "I didn't lose the baby. I didn't". Sam wrapped his arms around me, holding me against him.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." I couldn't handle this. I had to do something; I couldn't lose my precious baby like this.

"I want my baby" I cried. Grief was consuming me; every inch of me was in emotional pain.

"I know you want your baby," he whispered soothingly to me. I clutched him feeling hysterical as I cried, I felt his chest rumble and knew that he was crying with me. "I shouldn't have left you alone" he said his agony in his voice.

I shook my head, tears falling "No. It's my fault. It was my baby." We laid there, crying and grieving alone, holding and trying to comfort one another for hours.

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My eyes were sore from crying and I felt hollow inside. Nothing could fill the emptiness inside of me. I'd been in the hospital for a day. Sam was taking me home now. I stared out the window as we drove in silence. As we reached La Push, I could hear in the distance wolves howling in agony. I knew that my boys were out there, grieving with us. They had suffered a loss with their Alpha.

I got out of the car, my legs moving without me noticing, and went into the house. Sam followed after, carrying my bag. I looked at the stairs and couldn't make myself go up them. I felt tears in my eyes as I looked at the spot I'd fallen. Someone had come in and picked up the strewn clothes and cleaned the floor. Sam noticed my reaction and was immediately beside me, hugging me.

"You don't have to go up there," he said softly. I nodded, as he moved me to the couch and pushed me down. I couldn't go upstairs. It would be like letting go of my baby.

We laid there, holding each other. I knew Sam wasn't going to leave me for a while. I leaned onto him, thinking back on the past two days. Dr. Cullen had been in the emergency room. He told me that I'd lost the baby due to impact from hitting the floor when I fell. He told us in a sad, apologetic voice, that I might have lost the baby anyway even if I hadn't fallen. It was his guess that the placenta was already slightly detached and that's why I'd been hurting. I didn't cry as I held onto Sam, I knew he was trying to be strong for my sake. All I could think about was my baby that didn't even have a chance. We stayed there for hours, neither of us getting up for anything.

The phone rang and neither of us moved to answer it. Sam didn't call anyone and tell them what had happened. Helen had no idea, or Mrs. Narata. My own parents didn't know. They'd never known to start with. The boys had come by the hospital, pity in their eyes. Each one had hugged me and whispered their apologies. Paul shook each time he looked at me until he finally left. Sam was blaming himself for leaving me alone so much. He thought that if he'd been home I would have never tried to carry the hamper down alone. I blamed myself. I should have known better than to do something so stupid. I should have known better than to push myself after I had been sick all day.

I looked at Sam who had finally fallen asleep. He hadn't slept since the accident. I carefully moved from him and braced myself for what I was fixing to do. I walked slowly to the stairs and stood at the bottom. I bit my lip as I started walking up them, one by one, holding the rail tight as I could. I stopped halfway and looked down, shaking as I kept up them. I made it to the top.

I went slowly to mine and Sam's room and laid down in the bed, pulling the familiar blankets around myself. I didn't know what to do with myself. I stared off into space, picturing the images of a small dark-haired baby I'd had in my mind. I didn't want another baby. I wasn't sure if I ever would again. I closed my eyes and willed myself to fall asleep. The medicine Dr. Cullen had given me to help me sleep was starting to kick in.

According to him, I couldn't have another baby for a while. He told us I needed to let myself recover physically for a few months. He'd made me promise to start taking birth control pills. I remembered how Sam reacted to being in the same room as Dr. Cullen. He'd held his hand over his nose in the corner so that Dr. Cullen wouldn't take him for what he was. I knew Sam had to use all his self control to not phase at the sight of him

I fell asleep, dreaming about my niece, Claire, the cute, dimple-faced baby. I was holding her in my arms, laughing with her. I dreamed of being surrounded by small children until all them starting disappearing from the scene one by one. Someone was shaking me. "Emily?" Sam sounded worried. "What's wrong?"

I opened my eyes and realized I'd been dreaming. "Nothing," I whispered as he laid down next to me in full-protection mode. Sam hovered over me constantly, refusing to leave my side for anything.

"I don't know what to do," he said in a dead tone. I knew what he meant. Nothing had meaning to me anymore. I didn't want to eat, move or even breathe. It felt as though someone had taken a knife and stabbed me in the heart. Sam watched me closely.

"I'll be okay after awhile," I said softly. I didn't know how long 'awhile' would be. He sat up suddenly and looked at the door.

"I'll be back. Don't go anywhere." He left abruptly and I frowned, wondering what was going on. I leaned up and peeked out of the window above our bed. Helen's car was out front. I didn't feel like dealing with her. I didn't want more sympathy. I just wanted everyone to leave us alone. Completely alone. I could hear Sam's voice rise slightly. I sat up, listening hard and heard the front door slam shut.

I heard him coming back up the stairs. "What happened?" I asked him quietly. Sam sat down by me

"My mom came to see why we weren't answering; where we'd been at".

I glanced at him. "Did you tell her?"

He nodded, looking somber. "I did," he said sadly. I felt better knowing that he'd told Helen instead of me having to. Sam put an arm on me, and rested his head on my shoulder. "We'll get through this Emily," he whispered.

We stayed there in the bed for hours. Sam slept forever it seemed. I would wake up long enough to take another pill and go back to bed. For a full day we slept in one another's arms, not worried about anything but each other.

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I pulled myself from Sam's body carefully, not wanting to wake him. I glanced at him before I went out of the room silently. I walked down those dreadful stairs and into the kitchen. I moved around slowly, fixing myself scrambled eggs. I sat down and ate in a trance. I had to snap out of this. I had to get past this enough that I could function. Sam couldn't stay with me forever. I finished every bite of the eggs and started making another batch. I mixed muffin batter up and put some in the oven. I turned my head quickly; I thought I saw someone in the kitchen window. I went to the back door and opened it a crack.

My boys were coming. I felt a small bit of happiness at the sight of the three of them coming toward the house. I opened the door wider and left it hanging wide open as I got the muffins out. I sat the hot pan down on the counter and turned to give each one of them a hug. Jared hugged me tightly, then Paul who seemed to squeeze me to death. Embry, the shyer one, hesitantly hugged me back when I wrapped my arms on him.

"You guys look terrible," I said, making them all laugh. The tension was automatically gone from the room. I started grabbing plates and forks for them "Sit down," I ordered them. "You three probably haven't eaten in days."

I knew Paul hadn't unless he'd eaten raw. I piled the eggs and muffins on the plates and started getting glasses of milk for each of them.

"Thanks," Paul mumbled to me as I passed him.

I smiled warmly at him "No. Thank _you_." I looked at them "All of you."

I heard a yawn and turned to find Sam looking back at me, smiling. "Hungry?" I asked. He was staring at me in disbelief. I knew he'd thought I'd be bed ridden for months. I crossed the kitchen and hugged him tightly, kissing his jaw. "Please," I whispered to him. He nodded his head and went to the table. His pack members were watching him as he moved. I sat down after getting Sam everything.

I reached across the table and held his hand tightly. I could do this. I had children all along. Sam's pack really was my family now. Sam ate slowly, not saying much. He kept glancing at me, waiting for me to break.

"Anything new out there since you guys have been out doing patrol?" He asked them.

Jared shook his head "No, nothing too exciting".

Sam nodded, and sipped his coffee. "I won't go out with you guys for another day or so."

I knew better than to protest it in front of them. I was going to stop challenging Sam in front of his pack. It wasn't right for me to do it. "You guys need to get cleaned up," I said, looking them over. They were filthy. "You're dirty, and you need to get some rest".

Paul shot me a look of daggers "I'm fine."

Jared frowned at me, as did Embry "A bath maybe, but we can't sleep all at once".

I glared at them "Yes," I said in a no nonsense voice "Sam will be awake." I had them there. I looked at Sam "Make them go to bed".

Sam looked at them, appraising their levels of exhaustion. "Take a shower and go to sleep. Paul, Embry, you guys take the couches. Jared, you go upstairs".

None of them looked too happy with that, especially Jared. I got up from the table to get them towels. "I'll lay some clothes out for you."

I'd learned to buy plenty of extra large t-shirts and sweats to have on hand. You could never tell who might spontaneously burst out of their clothes. Sam sat there, talking to Paul and Embry as Jared grudgingly went to take a bath. I knew to the boys the upstairs was off limits in their heads, but they'd have to live with it today. I couldn't let them go home looking like that. After all, their mothers thought they were here for the weekend.

One by one, they took a shower and passed out as soon as they laid down. I pulled blankets over them, tucking them in. I stuffed a pillow under Embry's head and smiled down at him. They all looked so young and carefree as they slept. Even Paul.

"Emily" I heard Sam say in a voice I hadn't heard him use in a while. I smiled as I turned to him. His eyes full of love and the adoration I'd seen so many times in them. "They're okay, don't fuss so much". He laughed softly "Next thing you'll be checking is their breathing".

I giggled as I went to stand by Sam, looking over the two sleeping boys from the kitchen doorway. "I can't help myself. I feel better with them here. They're filling a space for me".

Sam nodded, "I know, and I know they don't mind at all. They need someone to take care of them, look after them that way."

I hugged him for the third time that morning, "Now that I made them take baths, I could use one myself".

Sam nodded "I know the feeling. But at least we don't smell like dog the way they did."

We went and started the day out as normally as we knew how.


	30. Chapter 30

A/N--A big thanks to Mediate89 for betating for me, and a thanks to those of you who reviewed for me :)

Chapter 30- New beginning

I was grudgingly packing a basket of food to take to the Tribal Pride day in town. I didn't want to go. I was doing better but I still didn't want to be around anyone besides the pack. Old Quil had come over here earlier in the week, telling Sam that I needed to go to the events. I was going only because it would make Sam look bad if I didn't. As an elder, Sam had to go to these things, and as his imprinted, I was expected to be on his arm. Old Quil knew why I didn't want to go, but tried to convince us that it would be fun and that I should get out and meet the other elders' wives. I didn't want to meet them. I didn't want to spend time with them.

I put on a long-sleeved pink shirt and khakis. The sleeves would hide most of my scars. I'd put on tons of make up, making the red disappear slightly from my face. I laid Sam out a nicer pair of his jeans- a dark color- and a new black t-shirt. I was dreading this appearance. Sam looked at me as he stood by the door, waiting for me to follow him out.

"You look nice."

I shrugged as I grabbed a jacket and walked out past him. "I'm not even Quileute and I have to go" I grumbled to him once we were in the cab of the truck. Sam sighed as he backed out carefully and started toward the park where everything was being held at.

"You will be though. You're not going to be Makah forever, Emily and you know it". I knew it, but I was still Makah for the moment. "Besides, Makah are our cousins anyways."

I looked out of the window as we drove "Will Aunt Sue be here, do you think?"

Sam turned at the light "Probably. She's an elder's wife. Your cousins should be there too." He never said Leah's name. Whether to protect me or him from it, I didn't know.

"What am I supposed to do while you're busy looking important?"

Sam smirked at me "You're supposed to be nice and get along with the others and smile and adore me."

I snorted "Don't make this worse on yourself."

Sam laughed "It won't be so bad, Em, I'm happy you're coming, actually and the boys will be here too, with their families". I knew that already, Embry had told me. I wanted to meet his mother, Ms. Call. I still thought they were our flesh and blood family. Sam had all but confirmed it to me, saying that he knew I was right- Embry did resemble him, and that his father would be the only one to cheat on his wife that way.

We pulled into the parking lot and got out slowly. I glanced at Sam nervously as he took my hand and kissed my cheek "Come on, it'll be over before you know".

I held his hand tightly as we walked through the crowded park. Everyone in town must have showed up. I noticed as we walked towards the head table where Sam and I would sit, plenty of teenage girls, and women for that matter, staring at Sam. A pang of jealousy washed over me. He was mine. I saw those eyes, raking over his shirt at his body, the whispers that happened when they saw me with him. As we neared the head area, my Aunt Sue came to me quickly, hugging me.

"I'm so glad you two came," she whispered as she hugged me. As we pulled apart she looked into my eyes, looking remorseful and sympathetic "I was sorry to hear about…" I cut her off, nodding.

"I appreciate your condolences."

Aunt Sue pulled us toward our seats. "Here, I'll take that," she said getting my basket. Harry smiled at me, his eyes told me he knew, and that he was sorry also. I looked to my left. A man I hadn't met before was sitting beside me. Sam reached over and shook his hand.

"Emily, this is Billy Black." I smiled at him as he shook my hand.

"Nice to finally meet you," he said with a teasing grin. "Sam's kept you hidden for too long."

I laughed "Sam had to drag me out today; I don't usually come out to things." Billy's face told me he understood.

"Well, don't be so shy, we won't bite'. He smiled at me at the private joke he'd made. I liked him instantly.

"Hey, guys!" I heard a loud voice exclaim. I turned to see Eli and Cassadee. I hadn't seen them since the bonfire months ago. I kept my head down.

"Hi," I said softly.

Eli offered me a grin, "About time you two started hanging out with people your own age."

Cassadee moved to hug me "I felt awful when I heard about the accident; I didn't know you were living with Sam or I would have come by." I shrugged, letting her know that it wasn't a big deal.

"It's fine. It wasn't that big of a deal to me, either."

Eli and Sam wandered off together, laughing and shoving each other. It was nice to see Sam act his age for once, joking around and laughing, which he rarely did anymore.

A white haired man was making his way toward me; he waved to me as he neared. Old Quil, I knew instantly. I rose to show respect as he came to the table.

"I'm happy you came" he said in a deep, shaky voice. I nodded, putting my fake smile on again for show.

"I'm glad you got Sam to talk me into coming out. Its going to be a good day, I can tell already".

He hugged me; it seemed to be a tribal thing. "I was so sorry to hear of your loss, Miss Young," he said quietly. Somehow, it didn't annoy me when he said it, like it did when Sue had.

Cassadee chattered on about school, her job she hated and Eli. I listened, asking questions to make it seem like I was paying attention. "So when are you guys getting married?" she asked, making my head jerk up.

"Oh, I… uh... I don't know. He hasn't asked yet," I admitted.

Cassadee laughed "I thought he would have asked the first week you moved in. He's so in love with you. Even Eli doesn't look at me like that." She was staring at Sam across the park where he was standing with a group of guys closer to his age than his pack was. "He keeps glancing at you every few seconds, like you're going to disappear or something".

I looked over at Sam. "He probably thinks I will. I didn't exactly want to come today. I'd rather be at home."

Cassadee rolled her eyes, trying to win me over with her bubbly personality. "But then you wouldn't get to see me. I was really hoping we'd get to be friends, and you'd miss the great tribal dances," she laughed. I smiled at that, it would be interesting to watch the elders and the rest acting like die-hard Natives.

I spotted Leah. She was dressed to kill. I frowned when I saw her, wondering who she could possibly be after. Leah waved to me, smiling. I waved back at her, offering a small smile.

Cassadee followed my smile, "I don't see how you stand her. She's so bitter still."

I sighed. "She's my cousin; I have to get along with her somehow."

Cassadee munched on a few chips that were in a bowl in front of us "Still. She was so crazy over Sam. It wouldn't surprise me if she was still hoping you two will break up".

I took that in. Leah definitely would take Sam back. Even though we'd made up, I knew she still wanted him. I would never leave him though. "You're probably right. He's mine though."

Cassadee ran a hand through her blonde locks and started talking again. I tuned her out. I saw Leah going up to Sam, grabbing his hand and tugging him away from the group. He gave the guys a backward wave as he allowed himself to be pulled away, laughing as the guys jeered at him.

Cassadee frowned and looked at me. "I'm sure it's nothing."

I pushed my chair back and stood up. I could feel the elders' eyes on me as I started walking toward Sam. Pure jealousy was running through me; I was the green eyed monster as I walked quickly to him. My fists curled into balls.

"Emily!" Eli called out trying to stop me. Just then, I saw Leah wrap her arms around Sam. That was the last straw.

I shoved Leah away from him with all my might. "Don't. You. Dare. Touch. Him." I nearly shook with madness as I grabbed Sam's hand and jerked on it. "Come on," I snapped. Sam followed me obediently, not saying a word.

As I pulled him past his friends, they laughed loudly and yelled out little remarks "Better do what the boss says, Sam!" or "One's not enough, huh?"

Sam kept his calm, silent mask on until I shoved him into a chair, giving him a look of hatred. "Don't you dare do that to me again."

The elders near us were quiet, not saying a word to either of us about the scene that had just happened. Sam finally spoke "Leah was telling me about how sorry she was. She overheard Sue and Harry talking about us."

I felt sorry for a moment about what I'd done. But only for a moment. She still shouldn't have touched my Sam. She knew better. I glanced at Sam; he looked like a puppy that had been kicked. "Leah shouldn't have touched you".

Sam nodded. A small smile played on his face. "I guess I would have done the same. I don't want anyone to touch you, either." He laughed lowly "It's nice to see you're willing to fight for me, though."

I couldn't help but smile at that.

Next to us, Billy was trying not to laugh. I could have sworn I saw the corners of Old Quil's mouth tug up. Cassadee was giving me the thumbs up sign. Sam leaned toward me "Um. Is it… is it okay if I go back?"

I sighed. "I guess so, but don't make me have to go back over there again." Sam kissed me on the forehead as he got up and took off walking at a quick pace back to his friends. He was probably worried I would change my mind. Aunt Sue sat in Sam's now empty space.

"Leah didn't mean any harm, sweetie." I just shrugged.

"That's what Sam said." I hoped she would leave it at that. "I'm not in the mood for any games today."

I still couldn't help but glance at Sam every now and then to check on him. It wasn't that I didn't trust him; I didn't trust the owners of the eyes staring at him.

Cassadee walked back over to my table and pushed a red plastic cup toward me. "I brought you a drink." I sniffed it before I drank it, coughing violently as the liquid hit my throat. Cassadee grinned at me. "Want some more?" I nodded my head quickly; this was just what I needed. Aunt Sue clicked her tongue at me as I followed Cassadee to where Eli and Sam were hanging out.

I held my cup out as Eli poured me another round from a large bottle he was hiding in a basket. Sam looked at me as I downed it, making a face.

"You guys do know she's not old enough to drink, right?"

Eli waved him off "You're like… her guardian or whatever. It's okay if you say so."

Sam shook his head "I guess I do say its okay or face the consequences." I gave him a smile as I sat down on the grass with Cassadee, who was sipping her own.

Eli nudged Sam "Liven up, Uley. You used to party pretty good yourself." Sam didn't seem to like Eli telling everyone that.

"I was young, too."

Eli laughed. "What are you now? Fifty?" As if to prove he wasn't an old man, Sam grabbed Eli's beer and downed it.

Eli slapped him on the back, "That's more like it!"

I wondered if Sam remembered he couldn't really get drunk. I sat there, laughing and feeling at ease with every drink I had. Sam kept looking at me funny.

"What are you staring at?" I asked.

Sam held his hands up. "Just thinking that maybe you should… take a break."

Eli rolled his eyes at Sam. "Let her have fun, old man. We're celebrating." He clinked his can against my cup. I looked down at my cup as I sipped it. I felt kind of woozy, like I could just lean over and rest my head for a few minutes. I set the cup down, knocking it over.

"I'm sawry," I mumbled. The group laughed at me as I leaned into Cassadee. "Sam, I think I drank too much."

Sam smirked at me "I think you did, too."

I shut my eyes. "You know… I didn't even want to come. I'm happy I did".

Cassadee giggled at me, obviously half drunk herself. "If you didn't come, that tramp would have gotten Sam." I scowled

"He's mine. My Sam."

The guys were laughing at Sam, "You should share the secret of getting chicks hooked like that."

Sam rolled his eyes at them "I guess it's my animalistic magnetism." I burst out laughing when I heard him say that. If only these guys knew. Sam flashed a grin at me "Or maybe my charm, or maybe because I take her out and let her get smashed."

I snickered at him as I tried to stand up, my legs weren't working right. "You never let me do nothing fun." He reached down and helped me up.

"Where you going?"

I shrugged "I dunno. I just didn't like the way the room was spinning from down there."

Eli poked me in the rib "You gonna be okay?"

I thought on it, "I don't know. I feel loads better than before, though." Sam kept an arm around me. I didn't know if it was to simply be touching me or to keep me standing. "Sam wouldn't have gone with her, anyway. He looooves me too much."

Sam was laughing at me with the rest of them.

"Don't you looove me?" I asked him, wrapping my arms around his waist.

He looked down at me "I love you, okay?" I nestled my head into his chest.

"See? I told you guys he did. Sam looves me and I looove him." Sam rubbed my back.

"So, if Sam loves you so much, how come he never lets you come out and party with us?" Eli asked.

I shrugged clumsily "He doesn't ever invite me. He makes me stay in the house like his slave or something." Sam stiffened

"I think we should go now, okay?"

I glared at him as I pulled away, teetering. "It's the trufe. You do. You go out every night without me."

Sam was picking up our things and stuffing them into the wicker basket hurriedly.

"Come on man, its okay, we know she's drunk," one of the guys said.

Sam shook his head "No, its not."

Eli narrowed his eyes at Sam "You go out every night?" Eli looked at me "No wonder she got drunk. You must not think much of her to leave her at home while you go out alone. I don't ever see you at any of your old hangouts, either."

Sam glared at Eli. "She doesn't know what she's saying. She shouldn't have said that." He grabbed my arm. "Come on."

I waved bye to the group as Sam led me off. He stopped at the elders briefly. "We're leaving… early. Emily..." He just shook his head at me. I smiled at the elders as Sam took me to the car. Billy was cracking up, Sue and Harry looked horrified.

I was laughing when Sam drove off. Laughing because I had got my way. I didn't have to sit around a boring tribal day for a tribe I wasn't even in.

Sam glanced at me. "I hope you're happy."

I giggled back. "Happiest I've been in days."

When we pulled up to the house I hopped out of the truck, leaving the door open as I moved into the living room and let myself fall onto the couch. I was so sleepy now. I could just pass out and…..

"Emily!" Sam's voice rang out. I lifted my head up a little bit

"Wha-?" I mumbled. "I'm too sleepy to deal with you." If he could just leave me alone I could go to sleep. Sam shook me slightly.

"We need to talk." I groaned as I sat up "Can't it wait?" He took my face in his hands, holding it so that I was looking into his eyes.

"Emily. You came close to saying things you're not supposed to say. I want you to understand what will happen if you do." I sighed as I put my hands on his wrists.

"I know. Everyone will think I'm crazy. They already think I'm crazy for pulling Leah away from you."

Sam pushed me back onto the couch "Go to bed. You're not going to feel too great when you wake up."

Finally, he was shutting up. I closed my eyes and fell asleep immediately.


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N-- Ok kids, sorry it took so long to get a new chapter up, just as a warning slight lemon in here, not as lemony as others lol. A big thanks to mediate89 for betaing this for me. Be sure and review and tell me what ya think.**

Chapter 31- Go That Far

My head felt like someone had hit it in the middle with ax. I groaned as I got up. I didn't remember anything. I had no idea why I was still in my khakis and dress shirt. I rubbed my head as I stood slowly. I winced; each step I took made my head pound. I could hear scuffling in the kitchen.

"Sam?" I groaned "What happened to me? I feel like I got hit by a train." Sam had his back to me as he stirred something. He didn't reply. "Sam?" I said again. Still no sign of him hearing me.

I poked him in the back hard. "Hello? Can you hear me?" Sam looked at me, and didn't say a word as he turned the stove off and sat down at the table. I looked at his plate. He had fixed himself breakfast. "I would have done that," I said, feeling bad.

Sam picked up the paper and I realized he was ignoring me. "What did I do to you?" I asked quietly. Still nothing. I heard the washer click off in the laundry room. Was he really washing clothes? It was like he didn't need me. "Will you at least tell me what I did to deserve this?" I pleaded.

He finally spoke from behind the paper "You humiliated me for starters." I frowned; I wouldn't do that to Sam.

"I don't know what happened," I said slowly.

Sam snorted. "You wouldn't. You hit the shinny pretty hard with my cousins."

It came in pieces then. I drank with Cassadee and Eli yesterday. "What did I say?" I asked.

Sam shook his head as he shoved a forkful of sausage in his mouth. After he swallowed he said in a disgusted voice, "You made me out to be a man-whore." Oh. That explained why he was so mad.

"I'm sorry," I said softly. "I didn't know what I was saying."

Sam sighed. "Just don't let it happen again. I don't like that side of you." I nodded; I didn't like it either, not if I felt like this afterward.

"I really am sorry." I sat down by him, putting a hand on his leg. He looked down at it, appraising it. He reached down and grabbed my hand and put it on his side.

"Want to show me?"

I really wasn't in the mood for that. I pulled my hand away from him "Uhh…" I licked my lips nervously. We hadn't been intimate in a while. A long while. Not since long before I found out I was pregnant. After I found out Dr. Cullen didn't want me to get pregnant again for a while so I just kind of quit tempting Sam. I forgot all about it.

I looked at Sam; he looked like he was getting impatient. I finally leaned over and kissed him. He was all too eager to return the gesture. I moved around in my chair. I'd almost forgotten how Sam could make my knees feel with just one kiss.

"Sam..." I said softly, pulling away. "I didn't take my pills yesterday or today. I passed out". Sam only nodded as he kissed me again; he was hungry for my affection it seemed. I realized I had been ignoring him for far too long as he put his hands in my hair. He pulled me onto his lap.

"Come on," he whispered to me as he lifted me up easily and took me up the stairs. He let me drop back onto the bed and climbed on top of me, kissing my neck.

"That feels so good," I whispered as I moved away to take his thin shirt t-shirt off. I let him pull mine off; I shoved him back and got up, taking off my jeans. I unbuttoned his pants in a flash, and started jerking them down, kneeling in front of him. He laid back, letting me work until I had him undressed completely. I crawled on top of him, straddling his hips, kissing down his chest. I paused, wondering if I should even try this. Sam's arms pulled me back up to him.

"I've missed you," he said huskily. I knew exactly what he meant. I sighed with pleasure as he kissed my breasts.

"I've missed you, too."

"Where are they?" I said softly in his ear, nibbling on it a bit. He nodded toward the dresser. I got back off of him and opened up the top drawer and dug around.

I finally found what he'd hidden from me. A small, gold square. I went back to the bed, and got back on top of him. He reached up and caressed me, lightly, admiring me. I leaned down and kissed him; this seemed different than the other times we'd had sex. His tongue moved mine in a way I knew made him crazy. His mouth tasted good, I could taste the mints he constantly chewed. I let my hands wonder his body, touching him with my finger tips only to tease him. I felt his own hands doing the same to me, never actually entering me; just teasing. I pulled back away from him. I wanted him.

Sam reached up and pushed me off of him, sitting up and taking the gold square from me. I looked away as he opened the package and slid it on and then pushed me down on the bed. I looked into his eyes as he pushed into me, moving slowly at first. I'd forgotten how much I loved him. I pulled his face toward mine and kissed him, tugging his hair slightly. He moved his mouth to my neck, biting it a little bit. Each thrust was getting harder and harder as we clung to each other tightly.

I felt small under him, tiny almost, as he pressed his chest against me, wanting to be as close as he could. The heat radiating from him was amazing and I loved the way he was covering me with his body. I couldn't get enough of him.

I dug my nails into his back, murmuring and moaning as I finally gave in to what had been building up. Moments later Sam followed me, his breathing heavy. He moved so that he was on his side, still holding me close to him, as we lay there, staring at each other, catching our breath. I leaned over and kissed him on the jaw.

"I love you."

Sam kissed me on the cheek "I love you too."

He wrapped his arms around me and I nuzzled his neck gently. I was falling in love with Sam all over again. His woodsy smell mixed in with the axe body wash he'd used earlier was like smelling him for the first time. I touched his face with my index finger, memorizing him. He was looking at me, with that look. The look I loved and relished in.

"I want you. I want to be with you. Forever," I said looking into his eyes. I felt like I never wanted to be without him in anyway ever again. I truly loved Sam. I'd felt love for him before now, but it was nothing compared to what I was feeling now. Sam lifted a hand to my face, and brushed my scars.

"I want to be with you too."

I kissed the side of his hand that was on my face. Everything felt so right. So in place here with Sam.

*************************************************************************

I stood by the stove, flipping over the pieces of meat in the pan. Sam was going around, fixing odd and end things. I walked up behind him and wrapped my arms on his waist.

"I need to go out for a few minutes," he said quietly. He moved my arms off of him and turned to face me. "I want to go check on Paul. I have a feeling he's not out there. I don't think he has been for the past few nights."

I nodded. "Go on then, I'll keep everything waiting for you." He leaned down and kissed me before he slid his shirt off and handed it to me.

"I'll be back soon," he promised as he went from the house, quivering now. His back seemed to spasm in a spot as he ran toward the woods.

I glanced out of the window as I stirred the potatoes I had boiling. I jumped as the door opened and hit the wall. Sam was standing there looking mad. He hadn't even dressed after he'd phased back. "I'll be out longer than I thought. I can't find him. No smell of him even being outside for a couple of days."

I frowned, wondering what had happened to Paul. "Where could he be?"

Sam shrugged. "I have an idea. Paul's been using being here at night as an excuse for actually being at his girlfriend's house. He's been sleeping around a lot lately with about anyone."

Somehow I couldn't picture Paul being nice enough to make anyone willingly sleep with him. "He's not forcing himself on anyone, is he? I can't picture him being able to seduce anyone."

Sam cracked a smile. "You would say that. And no, Paul's not that inconsiderate."

I frowned still. I'd pictured Jared as the Casanova, not Paul. "Go on then. I'll be fine here. Don't rush back."

Sam nodded, his eyes still looked mad. "I'll be back after I find him. He can't hide from me."

I watched Sam as he turned, not even waiting to be in the woods this time as he quivered, letting his inner wolf take over. The big black wolf threw its head back and looked at me before it took off sprinting.

I'd just sat down to eat when the front door slammed shut.

"Hey, Emily" Paul called out as he came into the kitchen and plopped down. He obviously had no idea that Sam knew where he'd been. He looked around. "Where's Sam at?" He asked casually. I smiled at him.

"He's out on patrol." Paul's smile froze at my words. He knew he was caught. I could look at his clothes and tell he hadn't been out. He had on tan khakis and a form fitting, no collar, grey t-shirt. He had on a pair of dark brown Timberlands. He was dressed to kill.

He got up from the table and fixed himself a plate, piling it high before he sat down.

"Been a few days since you ate a lot, huh?" I said slowly. Paul glanced at me, looking antsy now. I knew not to make him mad. He would phase in a flash with his temper.

"Uh, no. I've eaten. I ate some elk earlier. Raw." I shook my head. He was lying. Paul didn't like to eat raw if he could come eat here. I knew Sam would take care of this, but I felt the maternal pull at the same time.

"Where've you been?" I asked him quietly. Paul chewed for a long time before answering.

"I did patrol and then I went to see some old friends. I think I can hold myself together long enough now." I bit my lip and pushed my plate away.

"Lady friends?" I asked, earning a scowl.

"A few of them, yeah," he said warily. I knew he was wondering where this conversation was going.

"Sam knows," I said bluntly. Paul glared at me.

"My sex life is none of his business."

I stood up from the table, grabbing my plate and walking off with it. I didn't want to be so close to Paul. I knew the explosion of fur was going to happen soon. "I think it is, when it affects Sam's pack. And the tribe, Paul." Paul stabbed his meat hard with the fork.

"Why does it matter to you, then?"

I turned to him then and pushed up the sleeve of my shirt, showing him the scars than ran down it, and pointed to my face. "Because I know what happens when wolves can't control their tempers." Paul's face grimaced slightly; I'd never used myself as an example like this before. "Do you want to hurt someone you care about like Sam did to me? Because I pushed him without knowing it?"

He buckled then and got up so fast that the chair fell over as he lunged for the back door and took off trying to strip before he burst. I knew as he ripped his shirt off. He didn't make it before the silver fur exploded on him. I'd gotten him to phase where Sam could handle him now.

I heard snarls and howls erupting from the woods. I turned and went into the house and shut the door behind me. I knew Sam was out there jumping on him, literally. I washed the dishes, listening for them. I was hoping Sam wouldn't hurt him. My Sam was loving, gentle, and soft-hearted. The Alpha Sam was demanding, not harsh, but dominant enough that his size towered any of them. He was making a good pack leader for them. He didn't force them to do anything they didn't want to do. Never ordered them around just for fun.

A low whining was nearing the house now. It stopped and was replaced with Paul muttering "If you would just leave me alone..." Sam came in, still wearing nothing, as he walked by me to the laundry room. He came back with a large beach towel. He threw it out the door.

"Put that on," he growled. I felt my face burn as I realized Sam wasn't the only one wearing nothing. Sam looked like someone was holding something potent under his nose "Go take a shower. Now," he commanded.

Paul came in then, still whimpering with the towel around his lower half. "I took one earlier."

Sam's lip seemed to curl up "You smell like a whorehouse."

I bit my lip, looking at Paul. He had blood dripping down his left arm. There were visible gashes in his chest. What had Sam done to him? I looked back at Sam who was staring Paul down.

"Go," he said in the double alpha voice. Looking pained, Paul walked up the stairs, scowling. "I'll bring you some clothes in a minute," Sam called after him. I heard the bathroom door slam.

"Did you hurt him?" I asked Sam warily.

Sam laughed harshly "Hardly. He'll learn one way or another not to ignore me or what I tell him." I wasn't sure what to do. I wanted to bandage Paul, but I didn't want to make Sam mad by touching him either.

"Did he get you?" I asked, looking over Sam's body carefully. Sam smirked as my eyes traveled.

"Didn't even get close to it." I raked my eyes over his muscles. He was perfectly toned, perfectly chiseled, like a god. I tore my eyes from him for a moment and ducked into the laundry room. I grabbed a pair of pants and shoved them at Sam.

"Put those on before I get carried away." It was like I couldn't not look at his body. I watched him as he pulled the pants on, a self-satisfied grin on his face.

I still looked at his upper half. "You might need a shirt, too." Sam rolled his eyes.

"You're acting like you haven't seen me completely naked or something." I blushed and looked down.

"Not like this I haven't." I covered my eyes and then opened them again. "I can't take it," I stated as I finally grabbed him and wrapped my arms on him. "You're just… different somehow." I sounded crazy, I knew. _Sam, Sam, Sam_, was all I could think. Sam was a magnet, pulling me as close as I could get to him.

I tried to lean up to kiss him and only reached his jaw. I'd settle for that. I kissed it lightly. "I love you," I said softly. It even felt different to tell him that. Like it had more meaning behind it. In response, he leaned down and kissed me softly.

"I love you too," he said in an even softer voice. I laid my head on his chest, listening to his heart beat.

"Paul's taking a long time," I commented. Sam smirked.

"It takes a while to wash all that perfume off." I laughed, hoping Paul would take a lot longer.

"How would you know?" I asked jokingly. Sam stiffened slightly.

"I don't know. I was just saying…" I glanced up at him. "Um, anyway... are you going out tonight?" I asked, changing the subject. Sam pulled me back against his chest, pushing my head down again.

"I don't know. Maybe. I might stay in and talk to Paul without physically hurting him this time," he said, talking in a low voice so that Paul wouldn't overhear us. I shut my eyes, breathing him in.

"I don't care. He can't hear upstairs anyway." Sam laughed.

"You seem to have a one-track mind lately, Emily." I smiled.

"I can't help it. I want you. I want you with me. I need you in a way I didn't before." Sam let his hand travel up and down my back, rubbing it.

"I'm so glad you're starting to feel the way I have been for months now." I hadn't realized Sam could tell the difference in my love for him. "Too bad Paul's up there, or you could show me how much you want me," he whispered in my ear, his breath tickling me. I kissed his jaw again, looking into his eyes.

"You think he'll be much longer?" Sam shrugged as he kissed me, I melted onto him. My knees were weak as I kissed him back, opening my mouth up to let his tongue slide in.

Sam lifted me into his arms and pressed me against the table, sitting me on top of it. He held the back of my head as we kissed. Our tongues were moving together now, tasting each other. I turned my neck up, showing him I wanted him to kiss it. "Feels so good," I murmured.

"Oh, I see. It's okay for you to sleep with her but I can't get any." I heard Paul's voice snap out. Sam lifted his mouth from my neck, and I pulled away from him.

"Go wait for me in the living room," Sam snapped back at him. He kissed my right cheek one last time as he disentangled himself from me. "You can come if you want."

He squeezed my hand before he went into the living room and I hopped down from the table. I followed him into the living room and sat down beside him closely, holding his hand, as a reminder to stay calm as he spoke.

"Paul, you know what I'm mad about," He started.

Paul rolled his eyes. "I know- because I skipped out on a few hours of patrol. I'll just make it up tonight or something." He seemed nervous as he spoke even though he was trying to play this off.

Sam gave him a hard look as he caught his eyes. "This isn't about patrol and you know it," he said in a steady voice. "I want you to look at Emily." He reached over and pushed my sleeve up and held my right arm out to Paul. I kept my eyes on the floor, not looking at Sam. My scars hurt him to look at, I couldn't imagine why he was making Paul look at them a second time tonight. "Look what could have happened if you had stayed there a few minutes longer." He took a deep breath "Only your marks would have been much worse than mine were."

Paul averted his eyes from me; he looked down at his hands, turning them over.

Sam's double alpha voice rang out deeply. "I said look at her!" It came out as an order. Paul looking pained and immediately looked up at me, staring at me.

Until now I hadn't realized that none of the pack had ever exactly done more than glance at me. "How would you feel if you actually killed someone? You know how hard it is for me to live with doing this to Emily, my imprint at that, and you wouldn't even be able to stop yourself. You have no control over your form".

"Does this have something to do with the girl he's been sneaking around with?" I said in an almost whisper. I held onto Sam's warm hand tightly with my smaller one.

Sam nodded curly. "It does. He's been out whor-- I mean sleeping around," he said in a disgusted voice. "And he can't control his own feelings enough to keep himself from nearly phasing while---"

I held my hand up to his mouth. "I think I've got the picture." I looked at Paul in disbelief. The poor girl had to be terrified of him now.

Paul glared at Sam "You didn't have to give her the details. And I got away from her as fast as I could before I lost it."

Sam shook his head. "You can stop looking at Emily now," he said in that same deep, commanding tone. Paul seemed to relax as the words were spoken. "You need to think things through better than you have been, Paul. You can't just jump into bed with random people anymore. It's not that easy. One minute you might be having a great time and the next minute when you feel way too good you've phased on accident."

Paul ran a hand through his short shaved hair. "Please don't give me the sex talk," he almost begged. I hoped for my own sake, Sam didn't try it either.

Sam sighed, "I'm only trying to help you before you're beyond my help, Paul. I don't want you to make a mistake like I did out of something you should have had in-control. You're my brother; I don't want you to live like that. I'm not saying don't have sex, I'm just saying… be careful when you do, it's not exactly as easy as you think it will be."

Paul got a wicked grin on his face suddenly, his eyes gleamed slightly. "How do you keep in such good control when you're ---?"

I felt the heat rush to my face as soon as the words were out of his mouth. Sam rolled his eyes and reached over and popped Paul. "And that is none of your business." Paul grinned at him.

"Aw, come on... you're supposed to tell us everything we need to know."

Sam got up from the couch and grabbed Paul by the collar and started pulling him toward the door. "I'm here to guide you through phasing, not as a sex guru." He shoved Paul out. "Good night, Paul." He shut the door quickly and locked it behind him.

**********************************************************************************

Paul had left hours ago and I was curled on the couch with Sam. We were watching _Pulp Fiction_, Sam's choice. My choice, _Can't Hardly Wait_ was next. I'd made a bowl of popcorn and propped it up on top of the blanket over us. I could feel the joy of Sam staying home with me still exciting me like a child.

"Pay attention," he said, nudging me. "It's a good part." I nodded and looked at the television screen. I hadn't been watching it since we put it on. I could only focus on him being so close to me. I was a love sick puppy, I knew.

"Aren't you sleepy?" I asked him, knowing he had to be. He still had to get up and go to work in the morning at the garage.

"No, not really. Are you?" I shook my head, leaning against him.

"No, I'm awake as long as you are." My eyes grew wide as the man jabbed a needle into the heart of the lady, trying to get her heart beating again. "What happened?" I asked. I'd missed a lot apparently. Sam sighed.

"I knew you weren't really watching."

I laughed. "Sorry, it's just not my kind of thing." I moved my hands behind me, tickling his stomach.

"You're acting funny," Sam accused me. I couldn't help but burst out giggling at that .

"Why? Because I'm touching you?" Sam narrowed his eyes at me.

"That's exactly why. You don't usually touch me so much unless you want something." I smiled slyly at him as I rolled over so that I was facing him.

"Maybe I do want something." Sam gave me a patronizing look as he sat up.

"I don't know what's wrong with you, I'm not saying I don't like it, but it's kind of strange."

I could only laugh at him.

"If you like it, why don't you lay back down? I thought you'd want me. I didn't think you could get enough of me." I was teasing him now.

Sam seemed torn. "Did you take your medicine?" he asked, glancing at me. I glared at him then.

"The anti depressants or the birth control?"

Sam shook his head. "Both."

I sat up, so that I was near him again. "I took both. Honest. I just... love you." He looked at me. "Quit looking at me like that," I said in a whiny voice. "Cant I simply just want to touch you?" Sam sighed and put his arms around me

"You're crazy but you're mine," he said with a laugh in his voice. I smiled, knowing he was playing with me.

"We should go out somewhere. On a date," I suggested. Sam shrugged.

"I don't care. We can go wherever. I didn't ask because I didn't think you would want to go."

I wanted to go. I wanted everyone to know he was mine. "I'll find a day then. Not somewhere special. Just, I don't know, the beach or something like that."

Sam nodded and kissed my cheek. "Sounds fine."

I turned my face when he went to kiss my cheek again, and caught his mouth with mine. Sam didn't pull away; he moved his hand to hold my jaw. I deliberately moved so that I was lying down and I pushed him so that he would get on top of me. I knew he wouldn't pull away now. No matter how crazy I acted.

Sam's hands moved up my shirt, pushing my bra up, I smiled as he moved his mouth down toward my collar bone.

**BAM! BAM!** I heard the doorknob rattling.

I sighed and pushed Sam away, pulling my shirt and bra back down. "Go open it."

Sam was already halfway there. He opened the door a crack, then all the way. Paul was there, with a small, dark-haired girl. Her skin was light though. Paul had her wrapped in a blanket in his arms. Sam moved to take the sleeping girl. Paul flashed his teeth at him. "I've got her." I stared as Paul laid the sleeping child onto the loveseat and pulled the blanket around her tighter.

Paul looked shaky, not in a phasing type of shake, but in a scared, worried shake. I took a good look at him; someone had obviously tried to hit him with something sharp in the face. He had a cut above his eye.

"What happened?" Sam asked him lowly. He glanced at the girl. "How did Ellie end up with you?" Paul shook his head back and forth as he spoke, keeping himself calm.

"I looked in the window like I usually do, and… and-- " He cut himself off there. He slung his head harder. "And my dad had her in the corner… hitting her… with a belt." I felt tears in my eyes as I looked at the little angel on my couch. How could someone do that to her? Paul had mentioned himself being abused, but not his sister.

"Can I take her upstairs?" I asked softly. There was the spare room up there. "She'll be more comfortable." Paul looked at me, trying to decide if he would let her be moved from his sight.

"I'll take her up," he finally said. Sam reached over and grabbed Paul, hugging him tightly and releasing him.

"Take her up. We'll talk after." Paul nodded and gathered the small child into his arms again and kissed the top of her head as he went up the stairs, following me. I went in quickly, pulling the sheets down for him to lay her there.

"She's fine here," I whispered to him. Paul nodded, his eyes shone in the moonlight as he pulled the blankets over his sister.

"I know. That's why I brought her here. For you and Sam to help."


	32. Chapter 32

**First of all, another thanks to Mediate89 for betating. Secondly, Id like to explain a few things that I've been asked about.. Some of you notice Emily's acting different than before, its just a change in her thats happened now that she's realized she IN love with Sam, she's always loved him, but wasn't exactly in love with him like she is now. Hope you enjoy this chapter guys, REVIEW!**

Chapter 32- Council Meeting

I woke up before the others and peeked in at the little girl. She was adorable. She definitely was as cute at Paul had made her out to be. I smiled as I crept down the stairs to start mixing pancake batter. I jumped when I saw Paul standing at the foot of the stairs.

"I heard someone," he said, explaining why he was staring at me.

I nodded. "It's okay. I told you, she's alright here." Paul smiled hesitantly before he sat down on the edge of the couch.

Last night, Sam had decided to call a meeting of the elders on the matter. Paul didn't want to go through it, the public view, but Sam had reasoned with him, telling him that they couldn't hide forever and that his dad needed to be punished for this. After a few minutes of Sam's calm voice coaxing him into it, Paul had agreed.

After they'd both eaten, Paul had left to take the little girl to school, away from everything that was happening. A few minutes after they walked out the door, the phone rang and I reached to answer it.

"Hello?" There was silence on the other end. "Hello?" I said again.

"Hey, umm… it's Leah," a throaty voice whispered. I paused.

"Oh… Sam's not here," I said instantly. I regretted it as soon as the words left my mouth. Leah cleared her throat.

"Actually, I was calling for you. I wanted to see if I could come over in a bit. Seth too of course, and talk." I wasn't expecting that.

"S-s-s-sure," I stammered. "Do you know where he- where we live?" Of course she knew, why did I ask that?

"I think I can find the way," Leah said curtly. "We'll be there in an hour." She hung up quickly.

I looked around the house, thankful everything was already clean. I wasn't sure what to do. Should I change? Should I put on something nicer? Make-up? She might be my cousin, but she was also my rival. I went upstairs and straightened up, dabbing some powder on, over my right side. I hoped Sam wouldn't come home for lunch today. I didn't want him to see Leah.

I sat on the couch, watching the clock anxiously. I got up and straightened and rearranged things, wanting to show Leah somehow that I was better for Sam by having everything in order. It was stupid.

Finally I heard the sound of a car in the driveway. I went to the door quickly, opening it wide. Seth was hopping out, striding toward me. He had grown. I looked at him curiously, wondering. He grinned widely as he bear-hugged me. "Emily!" I laughed as I hugged him back.

"I'm happy you guys finally decided to come over." I moved back so they could come inside. Leah. I looked at her, unsure of what to do. She was dressed in jeans and a black shirt. Leah didn't look as beautiful as she used to.

"Hey," she said with a forced smile. I hugged her, trying to make her comfortable.

"Come on in." I grabbed her hand and tugged in, shutting the door. "Sit down, I'll fix you guys some lemonade."

Leah shook her head." I'm fine."

Seth grinned at me. "Is it pink?" I laughed at him as I got the pitcher from the fridge and poured him a frosty glass.

"Sorry, it's yellow this time."

Seth took a gulp, looking from me to Leah. "Where's Sam at?" he asked, looking around the kitchen now. I carefully averted my eyes from Leah's.

"Sam's at work. He had to go in today for a little bit." Seth nodded.

"I think I'll go watch some Tv. Leave you two alone." He got up, taking his glass with him and giving me a smile.

"So, how have things been going for you?" I asked Leah, unsure of where to start at. To my surprise, Leah raised her hand to stop me.

"I didn't come to talk about me." Her eyes met mine; pain was in them, along with pity. "I heard mom and dad talking a month ago." I knew where this was headed. "And I heard dad telling mom that you were pregnant, and that you and Sam lost the baby." She reached over and grabbed my hand "I'm sorry, Emily. I'm sorry that you lost the baby. I know you've heard it a lot already, but I wanted you to know that I honestly was sympathetic, you would have made a great mom".

My free hand reached up and wiped the tears from the corner of my eyes. "Thank you, Leah." I smiled at her, trying to lighten the mood. "I don't like to get into that. Its something I don't let myself think about." Leah nodded, understanding.

"Emily, I can't help but wonder though, when dad was telling mom the story, where Sam was at for so long. Why he didn't even stop in?" My stomach flip-flopped.

"He was out. Sam was camping away from here." I avoided looking at her, not wanting her to see that I was lying again to her.

"It just seems that you're here alone a lot, like Sam doesn't want anyone near you or something. That's one reason we haven't come sooner."

Sam really didn't want anyone too close to me, but not like Leah thought. "Only when Sam's at work, or with the three boys, and I don't mind it honestly. I have plenty to keep busy with."

Leah narrowed her eyes, looking at me from under her thick, feather duster lashes. "Something's different with Sam, I can tell just by looking at him. Ever since he came back from disappearing something hasn't been right about him. And I think you know what it is."

I forced a laugh and stood up to get myself a glass of lemonade. "Have you seen little Claire lately? I thought about calling Jade and seeing when I could get her for a few days." I hoped she'd fall for it. Leah wasn't stupid though.

"Don't change the subject, Em, I'm not trying to get him back by talking to you about him. I just want to know what's wrong with him." I sat back down across from her and ran a hand through my waist-length hair.

"I really don't think Sam is any of your business anymore, Leah. And like any other couple, we keep things between us, and only us." I paused, listening. It sounded like someone was outside on the back porch. Leah looked at the door, watching as Sam came in.

"Emily," his voice called out as he was pulling off the shirt he'd been wearing. Leah looked pained from the way he said my name. I cleared my throat loudly.

"Sam, we have company." Sam looked as he finally tugged the grease-covered shirt off.

"Oh." He nodded at Leah, not saying a word to her. He turned and kissed the right side of my face before kissing my mouth. I think it was his way of making it clear who belonged to whom. I saw her eyes move up his body.

"You have clean laundry in the other room," I reminded him softly. Sam looked down at me and crossed his arms over himself as he went to get another shirt. I didn't like her looking at his body like that.

"He wasn't too happy to see me," Leah murmured. Seth had come back into the kitchen looking jazzed up by seeing Sam. I stood up, pushing my chair back in as Sam returned, fully clothed.

"What's up?' Seth asked Sam eagerly. I could tell my little cousin obviously idolized him. Sam gave him a grin.

"On lunch break, I got covered in oil and dirt working on someone's car." Seth was hanging onto his words.

"What kind?" I shook my head as Sam nudged him in the back and led him out the back door where he had a hoop hung up.

"We'll be out here," Sam said as he was walking past me.

"Don't you want something to eat?" I asked quickly.

Sam shook his head. "I'm fine."

The back door slammed shut after them. "Seth and Sam get along well," I commented, looking out the window at the two of them playing basketball. Leah looked outside.

"Well they had two years of hanging out." I didn't know if she meant for her words to bite or not. We sat there, not talking much for the next few minutes. It was easier to be Leah's friend when it was just us, no sign of Sam.

"I should get going; mom didn't think we'd be gone long".

I felt relieved as we walked outside; Sam saw us coming and bounced the ball. "You guys don't have to rush off just because I came home. I'll leave in a bit." He was using his fake nice voice with Leah.

Leah kept her eyes from him as she walked towards the car. "No, I've got stuff to do. Come on, Seth." Seth hugged me.

"I'll come back another day without her," he promised. Sam waved to him as he hopped into the passenger's seat. We stood there watching them as they drove away.

"What did she want?" Sam asked as soon as they were gone. I turned to him.

"To tell me that she's sorry about the baby." I bit down on my lip as I went back inside. I didn't like thinking of my baby. It hurt too much; I kept the memories locked away.

"Oh," he said with funny look.

"Do you want lunch now?" I said as I opened the fridge and started pulling out sandwich stuff.

Sam nodded quickly. "Please."

I fixed him three huge sandwiches. "You were coming home to tease me," I shot at him. I hadn't forgotten him coming in stripping.

He flashed me a grin "I might have been."

"That's not nice," I said with a smirk as I sat down by him at the table. "At least you still had your pants on, that's a rare occasion around here at that." Sam laughed loudly.

"So how'd the council meeting go with Paul's family?" I'd almost forgotten about it. Sam chewed for a few minutes before he swallowed.

"Paul's dad won't be hitting anyone for a long time." I was satisfied with that, I didn't even ask for details. I glanced at him; his shirt clung to his body tightly. Sam's dark skin was flawless but he needed a hair cut, and to shave. I stared at him, watching as he ate. His lips were shaped just right. Perfectly full and light brown. He wiped his mouth off with the napkin I'd given him. "You keep looking at me like you might forget who I am," he commented.

"I wouldn't forget you for anything."


	33. Chapter 33

Thanks for reviewing!! And thanks to Mediate89 for doing a great job at betaing for me. This is kind of a filler chapter, but it does hold a few things that are important in later chapters I swear.. Hope you like it, and remember to review!

Chapter 33

I came in the room, drying my wet hair with a towel. Sam was sitting on the edge of the bed, flipping through a scrapbook I had put pictures in so I wouldn't have to throw them away.

"What's so interesting?" I asked, coming up behind him and looking over his shoulder.

He shut the book quickly and smiled at me. "Nothing. Just looking." I reached over and snatched the book from him, flipping through it to see what had grabbed his attention.

"You look, well… different," I commented at a picture of him, Eli, and a few other guys. They all looked like they were a part of the 'bad kid' clique. Eli was dressed in tight, cropped jeans with holes, along with a band tee. His hair was the same as it is now- short and spiky which was strange for a Quileute.

I looked over the faces at the people. Hmm, funny. I didn't have Sam pictured for this crowd. He was in the middle, with his arms thrown over Eli and another guy. His hair was much, much longer than I had ever seen it. So long he had it in a pony tail at the base of his neck. His smile was almost the same one he gave me. He had on faded jeans, tatty looking of course, and a bright blue shirt of some sort. I could tell he didn't have on the same type of sneakers he wore now.

"I know, we all look like dorks," Sam said with a laugh as he moved to take the book back from me. I held it away from him, looking at the other pictures.

"How come you changed yourself so much?" I asked. My Sam dressed in whatever he put on first. My Sam had short hair and Nikes. He didn't look so…. carefree either.

Sam looked down and shrugged "It didn't fit with the whole wolf thing. I don't have time for the same stuff anymore. I changed so my appearance changed." It sounded reasonable, but still made me wonder.

"What happened to all of these people? Your friends?" I asked as I pointed to a picture of Sam raising a beer bottle with a group of people, posing.

They still live here. Eli still hangs out sometimes if I call him." Sam slid his arm around me, still staring as I turned the pages.

"Can't you hang out with the others sometimes, too?"

He shook his head quickly. "No. It's not safe for them to be around me so much anymore. Besides, I can't exactly do the same things I used to do."

I frowned at him "What sort of things?" I didn't understand what he was getting at now. It wouldn't hurt for him to have friends his own age. Not once in a while. The pack wouldn't mind and neither would I.

"You know… childish, irresponsible teenage things. You were young once too," he joked.

I didn't have many friends when I was in school; I didn't usually go to the parties unless someone else went with me too. I guess you could say I wasn't very social. "Apparently I didn't have as good of a time as you did," I laughed.

Sam smirked as he finally got the book from me. "I had a good time every night back then, but not as good as the nights I have with you now." He kissed my cheek as he got up and started getting dressed. "You want to go out somewhere?" He asked suddenly.

I shrugged. "I guess we could. Where, though?"

Sam dug through the closet we rarely used "I dunno… Port Angeles to a movie or something?" I watched him; usually Sam would rather stay home just in case something happened.

"Sure. Not like we had any big plans today or anything."

He threw a pair of dark skinny jeans at me."Wear those, I like them better."

I looked at the pants, I hated them, they made me suck in and too tight. I got up and shimmied into the jeans. I'd gained a little weight over the past couple of months; it was from the birth control, I felt sure of it. "I look fat," I stated as I hunted for a top. Sam's eyes went over me.

"No you don't, you look good." I pulled on a red, long-sleeved cotton t-shirt; if we went out I always wore long sleeves.

I started applying make-up as Sam tied his shoes. "We could go to the mall, too," he suggested. I glanced at him, what had gotten into him?

"If you want to," I replied. The mall didn't hold much for me, I preferred to buy my clothes here and there to avoid it. Sam sat back down waiting for me patiently.

"We never go anywhere except the grocery store together, or to peoples' houses, and that doesn't really count." I put the last finishing touches of make-up on and held my feet out for him to slip my shoes on for me. "I don't even know how much I put in the bank," he said, frowning. "I stopped paying attention."

"You have enough. Believe me, its not like we buy much, just your truck note and the few other things." I reached into my purse and pulled out his checkbook, showing him the figures of when I made deposits or withdrew something. We weren't rich, but it was more than what most of the reservation residents had. Probably more than what they'd ever had. Our biggest bill was the groceries we bought twice a week.

"I'm glad you keep up with it. I guess I just... let go of everything to you."

I grabbed a thin jacket as I followed him downstairs. "Ready?" I asked him as I paused at the door. He nodded and grabbed the keys off of the table.

"Yeah. I'll drive."

I went out and hopped into the truck before he had barely stepped foot outside of the house. I hooked my seatbelt and fiddled with the radio as we drove off down the driveway. Sam reached over, put in a CD and turned it up, giving me a small smile.

Loud music blared from the speakers, a totally different change from the quiet, soft tribal recordings he usually played. His deep voice sang along loudly, his fingers drumming against the steering wheel. I shook my head, giggling at Sam as he sang louder.

We were entering Port Angeles when he turned the music down. "Where do you wanna go to first?" I shrugged, looking around. I'd honestly prefer to turn around and go back home.

"Doesn't matter. The mall I guess".

Sam nodded and got into the turning lane, looking out the window. "See? We can go out like a normal couple," he teased.

I smirked at him. "We're anything but a normal couple; I hate to break it to you." Sam laughed as he pulled into a parking space, easily, making me roll my eyes. He always laughed at the way I backed in and out to park. I got out and shut the door, feeling kind of wary as Sam grabbed my hand and started walking toward the entrance.

"You want to shop? Get some new stuff?" He asked as we went in.

"Umm, maybe. I don't want to spend all of your money though," I told him as we walked around, stopping to look at a few things. I flipped through a rack of jeans absentmindedly, holding a pair up to myself. I flipped the tag over and frowned, Sam was standing behind, not looking bored at all while I shopped. He grabbed the pants from me and tossed them over his shoulder, giving me a look. I rolled my eyes. "I guess I'll take them then." Sam stood along patiently as I picked out a few shirts and motioned for him to get in line to pay. As we neared the front of the line, I could see a few people staring at us. Whether they were staring at me or Sam though, I had no clue.

Sam took the bag and carried it in one hand, holding my hand in the other. "Don't you want something for yourself?" I asked him.

Sam looked around. "I don't even know where to shop for clothes at," he admitted. I laughed at him.

"Umm, well… you're only going to find that brand of jeans in Sears, I hate to tell you that." Sam squeezed my hand as we walked through the small vending carts, toward the large department store at the end of the mall. I led him to the men's clothing and started going through stacks of shirts. "Its kind of a good idea to get you some clothes to keep to wear when you know you won't shred them."

He picked up a few pair of jeans and after an argument, a pair of khakis. I got him some new shirts, a few casual and one dressier one. I moved to get in line, noticing a girl my age staring at Sam as he paused to look at some shoes. He picked one up, turning it over. I didn't move from the line. I watched as the girl and her friend started toward him before calling out loudly, "Sam, honey? Come on, we need to pay." I couldn't help but smile as he came over to me, automatically taking my hand.

"What else do you want to get?" I asked him, after we paid and were walking through the mall again. He glanced at the stores.

"Just a couple more things. You can look around for a few. Why don't you go get your nails done?" He was reaching in his pocket as he spoke, pulling out a credit card. "Here, take this one," he said, exchanging it with the debit card I had. "Don't worry, I won't talk to anyone female," he said smiling down at me, giving me a quick kiss.

I shoved the card into my pocket."Sure. I won't talk to anyone male, either then."

Sam smirked at me. "I'll meet you right back here."

I walked in the opposite direction he had; going to the nail salon he'd noticed and sat down for a manicure. I sat back, letting them polish and file my nail, wondering where Sam could have went that he didn't want me to go. I thought about how strange it really was that he had even suggested coming to the mall, much less actually shopping.

I had a feeling seeing the old pictures of himself had more than a little bit to do with his spontaneous change of personality. I got up from the cushioned chair and walked out, looking at my new nails. I ran a hand through my hair as I sat down on a bench near the fountain to wait. I looked through the bags I was carrying at the things we'd bought. At least ten new items for each of us, I decided. All of them were stuff I wouldn't have bought on my own.

"Ready?" I heard Sam's voice say. I got up and turned to him.

"Whenever you are. I don't think I can handle being a normal girlfriend for much longer."

***********************************************************************************

Finally, we'd made it home. "Thank god, I'm not sure I can handle another date for at least six months," I told Sam as we started getting our bags out of the truck. We'd stopped and grocery shopped on the way back. I grabbed a few light bags and toted them in; Sam grabbed several and brought them in.

"It was fun though; we were just like everyone else."

I rolled my eyes as I started putting the food away. "If you say so."

Sam made a few trips back out before he had everything inside and shut the door. It was already evening. "I do say so, and I think maybe we should do it again on my birthday," he said in a happy, cheerful voice. All day Sam was lighter, more carefree than he'd been in a while. I didn't realize his birthday was so close. I counted the days in my head. A week away exactly and I had no clue what to get him or how to celebrate. Sam didn't have much use for materialist items and I couldn't exactly take him on a weekend getaway in Seattle.

"Any idea of what you want?" I asked as I crumpled up the brown paper bags. Sam smiled at me slyly, eyeing me.

"I have an idea." I blushed.

"Well, besides that." He leaned against the counter, watching me as I moved around, getting the last few cans in the cabinets.

"Nothing. Just a night alone. The two of us." I liked the sound of it; I still had an overflowing need to show how much I really loved him. Most nights I stayed up until he came in, and then slept when he did, just so I could be near him the entire time.

"I might be able to make it happen. As long as you're willing to cooperate with the condition, of course," I teased him, giving him a look I knew would drive him crazy.

"Name it and I'll do it," he said as he reached over and pulled me toward him. "I'll do anything you say. Remember, I'm here to be whatever you want me to be. I'm hoping you'll still want to need me in more ways than a friend, though." I laughed as I ran my hands down his body, feeling the rock hard build.

"I couldn't imagine not wanting you as more than a friend, even when you weren't mine, I wanted you, I just denied it."

Sam brushed his lips across mine as he held me to him. "I knew you did. I could tell by the way your heartbeat sounded when I got close to you." He placed his hand on my chest, over my heart. "Its going crazy right now." He seemed gleeful of noticing that. I swatted his hand away.

"Funny."

I pulled away from his hold. "So how about a small birthday party?" I counted in my head how many people we had to invite total. Not very many. Sam made a face.

"No parties. I don't want to relive those days." I rolled my eyes at him as I went through the living room to the stairs.

"You're still young, you know. Enjoy it while you can."

Sam trailed after me upstairs. "I'll be young for a long time."

I wrinkled my forehead. "What do you mean by that?" I pulled my shirt off, tossing it into the hamper.

"I mean, I'll be physically 25 or 26 for a long time. Until I stop phasing." I felt my stomach plummet.

"You're going to be young when I'm old," I said, letting it sink in. I would look like his grandmother if he didn't quit phasing by the time I hit 30. I chewed on my bottom lip as I shimmied out of my jeans and slid one of Sam's shirts on.

"No I won't be. I'll stop before that happens. I'm hoping Jacob will still join us, even though the Cullens left. I hate to wish it on him, but in a way it'll make it easier on me." I pulled back the blankets on the bed, taking this all in; there was still the chance that Jacob wouldn't phase though. "I mean. I don't exactly like the idea of taking orders from a kid, or handing Paul, Jared, and Embry over so easily, but I'm not the rightful Alpha."

I put a movie on and crawled on top of the bed, I needed to wash the sheets, I noticed. Sam must have spilled something and not told me. I tuned him out as I stacked up pillows to lean back in. "Are you listening to me?" He asked.

I looked up at him. "Kind of," I admitted. Sam stretched out next to me, still fully clothed.

"Its strange being able to be at home all the time now, a big change," he commented. I smiled over at him.

"A good change though. I want you here with me as much as you can be," Sam ran his index finger up and down my arm.

"We should hang out with Eli and Cassadee while we have the chance. While everything's calmed down right now."

I thought it over in my mind. I liked Cassadee and I liked Eli, but they brought out different sides of me and Sam. Reckless, carefree sides that we couldn't afford to have. Sam wasn't exactly in a position in the tribe to do what he wanted anymore. "We should, only maybe we should hang out with them here at the house, I don't trust us to go out with them."

He laughed, knowing what I meant "That's probably not a bad idea." He dropped his hand in between my legs, resting it there. "The pack is great but sometimes I want guys my own age to hang out with and I know you're getting bored of having only us to talk to."

"Got that right. I don't have a single person to girly talk with now days," I said, giving him a grin. "I can't even talk about you with anyone; Mrs. Narata hardly wants to hear all of the intimate details of our relationship."

He smirked as he spoke. "I guess if I was dating me, I'd need someone to gush about it with too. I'm too great of a catch to keep to yourself."

I giggled at him. "You think you're something don't you?" I tickled him. Sam laughed, grinning back at me.

"I think so, I mean, I'm not bad looking, I have a good job. And don't forget I turn into a mythical creature at times." He ticked me back, making me squirm and shrink away smacking his hands.

"And of course, you love me," I said poking him in the ribs.

Sam grabbed my hands, holding me down as he tickled my sides and my neck while I shrieked. "I love you, more than I can express." I laughed hysterically as he tickled me harder.

"If you love me you'll let me go." He shook his head as I tried to move away, out of breath from laughing.

"Cant do it, sorry."

I felt the gravitational pull toward him as we rolled around tickling and poking at each other. I loved just seeing Sam smile and grin at me. It made me feel content beyond words to hear his deep brass laugh. It was a feeling of self accomplishment. I'd accomplished making Sam happy. And of course, that made me happy. "Baby?" I said loudly, trying to get his attention.

"Hmm?" He replied as he released me to let me catch my breath.

"You never did tell me what you want for your birthday," I reminded him.

"Just put a bow on," he said with an mischievous grin. I popped him on the shoulder.

"I think I'm just a piece of meat to you sometimes." Sam kissed my neck softly, breathing in the scent of my hair.

"You're my everything and as long as I have you here, I don't need any birthday presents, except maybe for you to tell everyone we went out of town for the entire weekend, and we can stay locked up in the house." I smiled, remembering the last time we'd had to do that.

"It seems like that's our only choice if we want to be alone for more than an hour."

Sam was twisting my hair around in his fingers. "Your hair's really pretty," he said suddenly.

I shook my head, smiling. I never knew what he would tell me. "Yours was pretty long too, you know. I liked it."

He ran a hand over the top of his head. "I can't grow it back or I would, believe me. It was my pride and joy, I swear." I touched his short, cropped hair.

"I'm your pride and joy now."

Sam pretended to scoff. "If that's what you think."

I ran my hand down the side of his face, down his muscled arm and took his hand. "I do think so. And I think that I love you for that."

He pressed his mouth against mine, kissing me in very, very wolfish way. I opened my mouth slightly, tasting him.

"We should get started on that idea of yours again soon," he whispered in my ear as he nestled his head on my shoulder. I smiled, running my hands down his back. "I don't know if it's too soon or not but I want to try again." His hot breath on my neck was making me feel like I was in a sauna. "You know, the chances of having another baby are in our favor," he said softly, lifting his face towards mine so he could look into my eyes. I nodded, I remembered clearly one of the contributing factors of Sam imprinting on me was that I could give him the best chance to pass on the gene. Meaning basically, we could easily have several babies if we really wanted to.

"I don't know if I'm ready for that yet," I told him honestly. He nodded and pressed his cheek against mine as we laid there in the pitch black room. A little bit of light from the moon was shining in.

"I hope you're ready to do a lot of outdoors stuff." I frowned, wondering what he meant.

"Outdoors?" I asked warily.

"Yeah, Eli and Cassadee like to four-wheeler ride the trails on the reservation; we used to do it a lot back in the day." I giggled at his choice of words.

"Back in the day, huh? Do you even have a four wheeler anymore?" He shifted beside me, trying to get comfortable, no doubt.

"Yeah, it's at mom's house though. I don't use it much but she takes it out sometimes." I couldn't picture Helen on the back of the ATV somehow

Sam pulled me closer, I was almost on top of him we were so close now. "You look better in my clothes than I do," he commented, tugging the sleeve of the shirt I'd put on. I snuggled against him, drinking in the warmth of his body.

"Well you feel nice," I said as I put my hands against his chest, warming them up. I could hear the rain falling on the roof and the wind blowing.

"Sounds like it might get bad," Sam said as he reached down and pulled the blankets over us. "We could turn the Tv on and watch a movie," he suggested. I shook my head, even though he couldn't see it in the dark.

"No, I like being in the dark for now."

I tickled his chest with my fingers, barely touching him. "Anything new with the pack?" Sam usually didn't like to talk a lot about them when we were together. Not about the pack problems anyway. Sam took my hands into his own, moving them from his chest as he rolled over so that he was on his side facing me.

"A few things. Paul's still a man-whore, Jared's just Jared, still keeping his distance from everyone. Embry's itching to talk to old friends, and Mrs. Call keeps catching him sneaking out at night to do patrol." I thought about the new information, nothing too bad or too interesting.

"Hmm. You guys are pretty much boring without any vampires close, huh?" I teased him.

"Pretty much. If there were vampires though, I wouldn't get to stay home with you so much." He moved over, rolling on top of me.

I smirked to myself; I knew he was going to try. "We have a whole bed you know, if you want somewhere to lay down."

His warm lips brushed my collar bone. "I know. Can't I want to kiss you though?" I didn't reply to him, I leaned up and kissed him for the response.

"I love you so much," I whispered and wrapped my arms on him. "I don't know what I'd do if anything ever happened to you."

Sam's mouth found mine in the dark. "I know what you mean. I love you too."

I kissed him back, relishing these private moments we had together. I knew that as long as Sam was able to stay home this much, we'd be glued in the upper part of the house.

"You're perfect," I murmured to him as I felt his rock hard body, the heat coming from him was more intense than usual. "I'll be right back," I said softly as I kissed him again and slid out from under him. I needed the air-conditioning on if we were going to be this close for longer than a few minutes. I flipped it on and went back into the room quickly pushing the door as I hopped eagerly back into bed with Sam. Ever since I'd realized how much I really was in love with him, I couldn't help but constantly want him if he was near me. I couldn't get enough of Sam. It seemed the feeling was mutual.

Sam immediately pulled me to him again and pressed his lips on mine. I pressed myself against him and wrapped one leg over him.

"You smell like… vanilla" he observed as he kissed down my neck. I laughed quietly "And you smell like.. Pine and cologne". I ran my fingers through his short hair, as he kissed down my body. "We.. cant" I whispered to him, pushing his hands back up. I hated to tell him this. Talk about mood killer. Sam looked at me, confused. "Was it something I did?" he asked worriedly. I shook my head and pulled myself up so that I was halfway sitting "No.. I mean we can.. But I forgot to take my pills again today". I constantly forgot whether I'd taken anything or not. The depression medicine made me walk around in a daze some days unless I was busy.

He shrugged and leaned back and kissed me, trying to persuade me "You always forget. Once a week at least". It was almost scary to hear him say that. I knew it was careless, I didn't want to get pregnant again. On the other hand, I couldn't tell Sam we had to lay here and do nothing all night. "I know, I know, I'm just thinking we need to start being more careful though" I told him softly, turning his head so that he would look me in the face. "One time wont matter" he said with a slight smile. I rolled my eyes, I wasn't going to get out of this.

"Just this once" I whispered back as he pulled my thin cotton shirt off, I sighed, enjoying every touch, every kiss, every bit of attention I got from Sam.


	34. Chapter 34

**A/N- I really liked the input I got from you guys for the last chapter, its much appreciated.. Also... If you've seen Alex Meraz who wil be playing Paul.. OMG.. I think I fell in love lol. Hes soooo hot. Exactly like I pictured him to be too. I was okay with all the rest, but mainly just disapointed in Quil. Hes not what I pictured at all.. Anyways.. Ill quit going on about how hot he is. I'll be putting up a new story soon, its a Paul fic (( ;) )) I swear it was started before I saw how hot he was. So hopefully you guys will check it out when it posts later this week. Remember to leave me a review, it makes me feel good when I get home from work :D.**

**Thanks to Mediate89 for betaing this for me, I know Im a pain with my spacing, I really appreciate you doing this for me!**

Chapter 34- Surprise

I held the phone against my ear with my shoulder as I scribbled down the names Helen was reading off to me. She was helping me invite all of Sam's old friends and family to a party I was planning to surprise him with this weekend. So far, it looked like a pretty big list of a mixed crowd. I was doing a pretty good job of keeping this hidden from Sam. Eli was inviting Sam's crowd from school that he'd been avoiding.

I invited the pack; along with whomever they had to bring with them for dates, which I knew was a touchy subject. Paul was still seeing the same girl he'd been sneaking around with. I hadn't met her yet, but according to Jared and Embry she was definitely not someone I would like. I was hoping Sam would finally cut loose and have a good time Friday. He deserved it. He was hitting a major birthday. I'd been playing around with ideas on what to possibly get him. There weren't many options on what to get your werewolf lover for his birthday. I had more or less decided to get a new system installed into his truck if they could get it all done in one day.

"You have no idea how much I appreciate this," I told Helen.

"No problem, I'm looking forward to it. Just call me back and let me know what I need to bring."

"I'm sure I can think of something, the pack already eats a ton themselves," I said with a laugh.

We hung up after chatting for a few minutes. I had a lot to do and all of it behind Sam's back. He was at work today, so I needed to act while I could. It was Tuesday; I had two and a half days to pull it all together. I'd bake the cake and make what snacks I could myself. The rest I'd have to buy. First things first, though, I needed to head to Port Angeles and get the speakers installed while he was gone and I had his truck. I grabbed my black bowler purse and the keys and glanced in the mirror. I'd braided my hair back and put on make up. I'd put on a simple outfit, dark jeans and a gold tank top with matching flats.

I grabbed the phone again on an after thought and dialed the number I'd gotten from Eli. Cassadee's cheery voice came over the phone. "Hello?"

I couldn't help but smile at her voice. "Hey, it's Emily, I was wondering if you wanted to go to Port Angeles with me."

Cassadee answered quickly. "Of course I do, we can have girly time," she said excitedly.

I took directions to her house, quickly promising to be there in ten. I hopped down the steps; I was in a great mood now, knowing that I'd have a chance to hang out with an actual girl my own age instead of the pack or Helen. Sam was wonderful, but he couldn't be the friend I needed right now.

I drove down the long dirt road, waving to the neighbors and smiling. They'd learned long ago to just accept the fact that Sam and myself kept strange company at even stranger times. I turned left like Cassadee had directed me and drove through the reservation, looking around as I went at the town. It really was small. All of the houses looked the same- tiny, with one or two bedrooms and a small bathroom and an even smaller yard.

I knew I was lucky that Sam had gotten our little house from Old Quil. It was little, but at the same time, bigger than what most of the tribe had. Even luckier, we hadn't had to wait in the register line for any land like most couples our age did. Getting the land would have meant we still had to build our own house.

I counted until I got to the fifth house and pulled up. It was miniscule compared to ours. It had been yellow at one time. The weathered paint was peeling and there was an old beat up Ford Taurus in the driveway. I sat there, waiting as Cassadee finally came out. She waved, grinning brightly at me as she came toward me. She flung open the door and crawled into the truck.

"I can't believe we're really getting a chance to chill," she bubbled as she reached into her bright silver bag and pulled out lipstick. I went slowly down the road, glancing at her sideways. Cassadee definitely was different. She had on black skinny jeans and a bright purple shirt that said Rawer. I couldn't help but giggle at it.

Her shoes were something I wouldn't have been able to pull off either. She had black stiletto type shoes that strapped up. Her entire outfit screamed out 'I dressed in whatever I felt like even if it doesn't match'. Even her hair made mine look childish. Cassadee's blonde locks were cut into a stacked bob, going further and further up in the back so that it looked slightly chopped up with dull scissors. Her make-up of course, was way heavier.

"Yeah, I got your number from Eli last night, I figured it wouldn't hurt for us to get to know each other a bit better." I explained to her as we got on the highway.

"I know what you mean. Between working at the diner and going out with Eli I haven't had much time to chill with my friends," she rubbed her freshly coated lips together. "That was an awesome idea you had, to throw Sam an actual party for his birthday."

I smiled. "I didn't really know what else to do. I don't know a lot of his friends except for the new ones."

Cassadee frowned slightly. "I wonder why he's never introduced you before. Him and Leah used to always come out with us." She paused. "I shouldn't have said her name." She grinned mischievously suddenly. "So did you two ever brawl after the way you shoved her?"

I laughed, remembering that day. "No, we actually apologized and smoothed it over; I just don't like the idea of anyone touching Sam is all."

She shook her head as she laughed at me "I don't blame you at all. Sam's really, well.... he's changed… a lot since we were in school together."

I took the Port Angeles turn off slowly; I didn't want to chance wrecking Sam's truck. He wouldn't kill me but I'd still feel bad about it. "I didn't really know him then. Only saw him a few times at my cousin's house."

Cassadee rose an eyebrow at me. "So did you two really start seeing each other before he broke up with Leah?"

I didn't mind it when she asked. It wasn't the same gossiping type of wanting to know way that everyone else asked. "Actually, no. Sam broke up with Leah about a month before I started seeing him. I really wasn't even seeing him then anyway."

I thought back on those early memories we had together. I'd tried to resist him but I couldn't. I remembered the day that Sam saw me at the Clearwaters'. I'd noticed he was watching every move I made. Even after Leah left the room, he stayed with me. The entire time I could feel something. Almost like gravity.

"So he managed to woo you, huh? He changed even more after he met you. For the better though, even if it does mean he doesn't hang out with us anymore. So you gotta tell me- what's it like?" she asked, a sly look on her face.

I felt myself flush and focused on the road in front of me "What do you mean?" I had an idea of exactly what she meant.

Cassadee laughed."What's it like actually doing **it** with Sam?" She laughed some more. "Your face is so red."

I finally laughed; I hadn't ever talked about our relationship with anyone before. "Why?" I managed to say.

"I dunno. Just wondering. He's really big, like… all muscly and stuff. You can't help but wonder what the rest is like," Cassadee said with a smirk.

I changed lanes quickly, glancing at her. "I guess it's like anyone else, I don't really know." I honestly didn't know. Sam was amazing but at the same time, considering I lost my virginity to him, I didn't know if it was any better or any worse than it usually was for other people.

"Hmm, I know you guys obviously sleep together, I mean, you live together and all…" her voice trailed off.

I knew I was fixing to give into what she wanted to know. I kept my eyes straight ahead. "I guess its really… good." I felt myself turn redder under my copper skin when I said that. "Amazing, actually."

Cassadee grinned wider. "You're blushing". She laughed, fiddling with the radio. "Its okay, I shouldn't have been so nosy anyway."

I shrugged, trying not to let her bug me. "So how old are you anyway?" I realized I really didn't even know the basics about her.

"Sixteen," she said quietly.

I looked at her quickly. What in the world? Eli was Sam's age. Sam was turning 21, making Eli 5 years older than Cassadee and a criminal. "Oh. I thought you were, well… older. My age."

"I figured you did. No one really notices though. I've been around Eli since I was young. Fourteen, I think. My parents don't really notice or care."

I frowned as I pulled into the parking lot of the audio center. "I probably wouldn't have noticed if I hadn't asked." I really had no room to talk. I was still only 18, legal but younger, and Sam was 21. Three years of difference. The difference makes everything easier in the end though. It gave Sam a three year time frame to stop phasing when I reached a certain age so that we could go together.

We got out of the truck and went inside. I stood at the counter, explaining what I wanted done and was assured it would be ready in a couple of hours. I swiped the debit card and hit in Sam's pin while Cassadee watched."So basically you two like… live like a married couple?"

I laughed at that. "Kind of. Without some of the hassle, though." I grabbed my receipt and led her out the door. It was nice out; we could walk along the block and shop for awhile.

Cassadee walked alongside me. "So, where to next?" she asked in a sing-song voice.

I shrugged and glanced at the names of the stores. "Wherever you want to go. I wouldn't mind getting something new to wear though."

That was all Cassadee needed to hear; she grabbed my hand and tugged me into a store blaring loud music. I looked around; it was definitely somewhere that she would shop, filled with clothes girlier and sexier than I would ever wear. I flipped through the racks of skirts and dress tops, sighing, not finding anything I liked.

Cassadee ran up to me. "I found you something sooo perfect to wear on Friday!" she exclaimed. She held out a black mini skirt with a tiny bright red shirt that tied in the front. I stared at it, not believing it. I couldn't wear that. "Come on, just try it on," she prodded me.

I reluctantly took the clothes and went to the dressing room to change, thankful Cassadee stayed out front. I didn't want her seeing the few bruises I had on my hips and thighs. Sam still couldn't help but lose it a little when we were intimate. I liked it.

I turned around in the mirror, looking at my reflection. I didn't look bad in the outfit. I wasn't fat so that wasn't the issue. The issue was that I was so exposed. I pulled the curtain back slightly. "Well?" I asked nervously.

"You should get it. Your legs look so good in that," she said nodding as I turned a slow circle. I tugged on the skirt, "Don't. The length is perfect actually."

After a few minutes of arguing and her nudging, I paid for it. New friends, new clothes, I guessed. I swung the bag back and forth as we walked around; we were headed toward the nail salon now. It felt great having a girl to do these things with instead of alone. It was too bad it would all end if things changed. Then Sam wouldn't allow me to have Cassadee so close. We sat down in the black cushioned chairs and relaxed.

"I still want to get some stuff for the party while we're down here as soon as the truck is ready." I could tell the manicurist was looking at my scarred hand as he worked on my nails.

We stayed there for awhile, getting pampered and leaving feeling much more at ease with each other.

"It should be ready by now," I told her, looking at my watch. It had been well over two hours that we'd been shopping and goofing off together. It was hard not to have fun with Cassadee.

"I'm about beat," she admitted as we went into the audio store. I signed a few things and got the keys.

"Let's go see just how great these new speakers are," I told her with a grin.

"Sam's going to love this," she said as we messed around with the sound. It sounded tons better. I headed back toward La Push.

"So you're definitely coming Friday. then?" I asked her, making sure.

Cassadee nodded quickly. "Yeah, definitely. I wouldn't miss it."

We talked more about our lives and Sam and Eli as I drove back home. I had the windows rolled down so that the breeze could flow through the open windows. I frowned as I drove down Main Street. Paul was leaning against the window of the small gas station, smiling dazzlingly at a light-skinned girl with bright, curly blonde hair. Too cute to be with Paul, I decided. He lifted his hand and waved as I passed by him. I nodded as I turned.

I pulled into Cassadee driveway. "Well, thanks for going with me; it was nice to get a chance to talk to someone other than Sam for a change."

She laughed as she gathered her bags and opened the door and got out. "I can imagine. Just give me a call if you need help with anything on Friday, okay?"

I nodded and waved as she jogged off into the small house just as the rain started to pour down. I hit the button to roll the windows up quickly. I didn't want the speakers ruined before Sam even got to hear or see them.

I made my way back through the tiny town and pulled into the garage to wait for Sam. He usually found his own way home, but I figured it wouldn't hurt to stop for him since I was on my way back anyway. I looked out the window at the guys as they started pulling down the hide ways to the pits. I waved to Sam, catching his attention. He held up one finger and went hurriedly back inside the office.

I sighed and leaned back against the seat, waiting. I took the chance to remember the first time I came to visit Sam at work. It made me want to laugh when I thought of it. I was so immature and childish then, I realized. A prude also, apparently. I jumped when I heard the passenger door open and Sam hopped in.

"Hey, beautiful" he said silkily as he leaned toward me for a kiss. I smiled as I kissed him back. Seeing him for the first time each day was a reminder of what I'd almost missed out on.

"Don't you notice something different about your truck?" I asked coyly.

Sam looked around carefully before breaking into a wide grin. "You got me a system!" Like a kid at Christmas, he started adjusting and tuning as we went the short distance home. He thanked me too many times to count.

We were in the kitchen while he still talked about how he'd always wanted to have something like that. I stood at the stove adding the pieces of onion I had chopped up into the stew. I turned to grab another one and noticed Sam looking like he was trying hard to stay calm.

"Are you okay?" I asked him as I started chopping again.

He didn't answer and I didn't ask again. I finished throwing everything into the huge stock pot I was cooking in and turned back around and leaned against the counter. "Sam?" I said slowly.

He moved in slow motion as he kneeled down in front me, his eyes were glazed with that look of imprinting in them. He held his hands up slowly and I noticed then the small black box in them. "Emily, I love you. Will you marry me?" he said softly. His hands were shaking as he asked.

I didn't even have to think about it before I answered "Yes!"

I moved down and wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him tightly as I kissed him. His lips pressed against mine sweetly for a moment before he pulled away and opened the box up. In it lay a small Black Hills gold band with a half-carat diamond cut into a perfect oval shape. He slid it onto my ring finger, kissing the top of my hand softly.

"You've got no idea how happy that makes me," he said as he got up and held me tightly.

I was absolutely glowing with happiness. I was getting married. Sam had asked me to marry him. To be his actual wife. I wanted nothing more than to marry Sam and be with him for the rest of my life.

"I do know how happy it makes you. I feel like I could bust from it."

He laughed as he kissed my cheeks softly. "I want to marry you soon. I know it's not right, the way we live." I shook my head at him.

"No, it's my choice. No one even thinks of it like that anyway." Living with Sam wasn't the same as if someone else was living with their boyfriend. Fiancé now.

"I love you," he said huskily as he kissed my ruined mouth.

I managed to say "I love you more," as we kissed.

I could feel the pull automatically getting stronger as we pressed together into a tight embrace. I didn't bother with telling him he shouldn't have spent so much on my ring. I liked it and was more than happy he'd spent enough for a half-carat. It wasn't tiny and it wasn't too flashy either. His tongue traced the shape of my lips as we kissed. I held him tightly, not even bothered by the smell of grease from the garage on him.

****************************************************************************

I walked around the house, double checking everything. I'd been up since seven making sure everything would be ready for Sam's party when he got home. Today was his actual birthday. I paused and straightened the Happy Birthday banner a bit. Everything had to be perfect. This would be the last party for awhile that Sam would have. I stepped into the tiny bathroom downstairs and glanced at my hair; I'd run a straightener through it and then pulled some of it back. I'd put on a bit more make-up than usual.

I'd chanced the outfit Cassadee had talked me into buying, deciding it would be the only decent occasion for it. At least my legs weren't scarred I observed as I rubbed lotion onto myself.

I went back out, and went into the kitchen to double check the food. I jumped out of surprise when I saw Paul standing in the kitchen with his back to me, digging around in the fridge. "Oh hey, Emily," he said almost as an after-thought as he glanced up at me.

"Hey, Paul." I greeted him now that the shock had worn off.

The boys had gotten comfortable enough lately to let themselves in and out as they pleased. It didn't really bother me or Sam. If we were upstairs together, Sam could usually sense them coming in before they ever got a chance to realize anything was going on. "Ready to party?" I joked as I watched him shove grapes into his mouth greedily.

He shrugged and swallowed. "I'm always up for a good party. Not as much fun as when I could actually get drunk or stoned though." I shook my head at him, knowing he wasn't joking.

"You're too young to drink anyway." I'd leave the drug part alone for now. Paul smirked at me as he moved through the kitchen and grabbed a small bag he'd brought in with him.

"I'm going to get changed," he said as he disappeared into the small bathroom.

I couldn't help but like Paul still. He held a soft spot in my heart for doing the ultimate thing for me months ago when he tried to help my baby. I stirred the pot on the stove and shook some salt into it as I looked up at the clock. Time for people to start arriving.

Paul came back out of the bathroom, dressed in a dark grey sweater that fit his build and dark blue jeans. He almost always wore grey so that it matched his fur, I realized. He'd spiked his short cropped hair up somewhat, trying to go for a wilder look than normal.

"So, is your girlfriend coming?" I asked trying to make conversation with him.

He froze and then slowly moved his face into a disgusted look "I don't have a girlfriend," he grunted. I frowned at him, remembering the blonde I'd seen him with.

"I saw you the other day with a nice enough girl, I'd just assumed she was your girlfriend is all," I explained.

Paul scowled at me. "She's not my girlfriend. She's just obsessed with me. In fact, I don't even like to talk about her. It's just an embarrassment to myself if I do."

I didn't even attempt to question him on this. Paul was being entirely too secretive lately. Sam was still suspicious of him; he thought maybe Paul had found a way to keep things hidden from the pack. Sam had learned long ago how to conceal his own personal thoughts away from them. We'd just assumed it was an alpha thing, though.

I heard someone knocking loudly at the door and ran to open it. Already a group of five guests were standing there. I smiled as I let them in, looking at the new faces. I only recognized one of them. Eli, of course.

"Hey guys, this is Sam's new and improved girlfriend," Eli joked as he introduced me to the crowd. My hands were shook immediately and I was hugged a few times. Eli grinned at me lazily. "This is what Sam's old bunch looks like."

They were definitely different. More punk than what I would have figured. Some were Quileute and a couple weren't. He went around introducing each of them to me by name.

I heard another knock at the door and opened it, letting another group flow in. I'd been worried about not enough guests showing up. I stood outside on the porch, laughing and talking to Sam's family and friends, getting to know them a bit better. I was meeting almost all of them for the first time tonight. I turned my head and looked quickly as I caught a glimpse of Sam's truck pulling into the driveway. He had a bewildered expression on his face as he got out.

I went to him happily, trying not to run to him like I usually did. "Surprise!" I called out to him.

Sam shook his head, a smile finally breaking his calm mask. "How did you do this without me noticing?"

I wrapped my arms around him. "It was tough, but your family was more than happy to sneak around your back for me." He laughed as he leaned down and kissed me.

"Thank you," he said softly as he kissed my right cheek lightly. I could tell from his expression that he really was happy to get a night of peace to visit with people he hadn't seen in a year.

"Come on," I said as I tugged on his hand."Go mingle with your guests."

Sam followed me around, shaking everyone's hands grinning at them as they greeted each other. Paul and Jared were standing on the edge of the porch laughing and talking with people I didn't recognize, both looked up as they felt Sam's presence near them.

"Hey, bro," Jared said grinning lazily at Sam. He reached down onto the swing and handed Sam a wrapped package. "Got you something special."

Sam smirked as he started ripping the paper slowly. "Should I open this in private?" he joked. When he ripped a large shred of paper off he burst out laughing. "Milk Bones?" he chortled. I couldn't help but laugh with him, getting the irony of the present. Sam laughed as he turned the box over, shaking his head.

"I have one too," Paul said after a moment, passing an even smaller box to Sam.

I couldn't help but be wary of whatever Paul had bought as Sam tore into it. "A flea collar?" Sam asked, laughing again.

Paul shot him a smile. "I got it in extra, extra large too."

Sam rolled his eyes. "I don't get fleas unlike you two pups."

Jared smirked at him. "You could use the Milk Bones though." As if to prove he didn't care they were for actual dogs, Sam tore open the box of milk bones and to my horror shoved three of them into his mouth and chewed.

"Samuel Uley spit it out right now!" I ordered him. I slapped him on the back trying to make him cough them up when he made a choking sound and swallowed. Jared and Paul were doubled over laughing like two old hens. "You'd better go brush your teeth," I told Sam, shaking my head. I'd wanted him to loosen up and have some fun, but this was on the verge of taking it a little too far.

Sam shot me a smile. "That's what the milk bones are for, babe."

I made a gagging sound. "I hope you're joking."

Sam laughed again. "I'll go upstairs and be right back." he moved to kiss me, but I shoved him back just in time.

"No thanks," I told him with a smile.

Sam grabbed my hand. "You gonna come up with me?" he asked with a wink.

I gave him a look. "I think I'd better stay down here with the guests."

Paul elbowed Jared. "They might not come back if they go up together."

I shot Paul a look. "I'm going to say hi to Cassadee." I walked off after giving Sam's hand a squeeze, looking for the familiar blonde.

The party had been raging for three hours now and was starting to die down slowly. Almost everyone had shown up that I'd invited. I waved bye to Eli and Cassadee as they drove away and I shut the door. Half of me was happy that it was over. The other half was wishing it was still happening because now I had to clean up the mess.

"Don't worry, the boys will help you," Sam said as he plopped down onto the couch. "I definitely need a shower," he said as he yawned. He hadn't had a chance to take one since he got off of work, only change from the grease covered stuff.

Paul and Jared walked around, throwing stuff away into two large trash bags. "I'll help," I told them as I started to grab empty cups that were lying around everywhere. Jared held out the bag as I dropped stuff into it. The mess wasn't that bad really, I decided as I looked around.

"I'll be back," Sam spoke as he got up from the couch and headed upstairs. I nodded at him as I went around cleaning the mess. We'd only been picking up for ten minutes before Embry's loud howl rang through the night.

Paul glanced at the door. "I'll see what's up," he told Jared as he slid his shirt off and went outside.

I frowned after him and met Jared's gaze. "What could be going on this late?"

Jared shrugged. "It might be a false alarm."

He continued helping me until Paul came back in quickly, out of breath and wearing only his pants. "Get Sam. It's Jacob," he said quickly.

I dropped the bag and nodded as I took off up the stairs quickly. I pushed open the door to our room where Sam was getting dressed. "Don't even bother. Jacob's phasing."

Sam's face looked shocked "Jacob?" he said slowly.

I nodded. "Embry told Pau. They said they needed you."

Sam looked deep in thought for a moment before he headed downstairs. "I'll be back as soon as I can."

I followed him out as far as the porch "Good luck!" I called out after him.


	35. Chapter 35

**a/n- Hey guys! Sorry it took so long to update, my beta had this chapter ready a couple days ago but I couldnt decide whether or not to actually post it, I decided to go ahead and post it and use it as a lead in to my other story, which hopefully you guys will read, thanks for reviewing and a big thanks goes out to Mediate89 for betaing this story and doing a great job, did you guys by some chance see that Alex Meraz video? All I can say is wow... also.. before I forget, this chapter has a bit of language in it, so beware! Rememeber to review!!**

Chapter 35- I'm a freak

I had just laid down from finishing up the clean up and closed my eyes when I heard Sam's familiar walk coming up the stairs. I sat back up sleepily. He was back way too early. He usually stayed the entire night when someone phased to keep an eye on them and help them phase back.

Sam came into the room, looking tired and worried. "You shouldn't have waited up," he said when he noticed me staring back at him. He sat down on the edge of the bed and kicked his Nikes off.

"I didn't. I stayed up and cleaned so I wouldn't have to do it in the morning," I replied with a smile. I reached out and touch his arm lightly. The heat from him warmed it instantly.

He reached up subconsciously and placed his hand over mine and spoke in a sad voice. "He wouldn't let me near him. He's terrified of me. Jacob thinks I did this to him." I narrowed my eyes, I didn't like hearing that. Sam wouldn't knowingly let this happen to anyone.

"What happened?" I asked, rubbing my thumb against his soft skin.

"I made it to the Blacks' with everyone else and Jacob was in a corner cowering. When he realized who I was from my voice he flipped out growling and started swiping toward us. He thinks I chose him or something." I leaned up as Sam spoke and moved so that I was sitting behind him with my legs on either side of him and wrapped my free arm around him and rested my head on his back.

"Did you explain it to him?" I asked.

Sam nodded. "Yeah, but he doesn't trust me just yet. I left Embry with him; Jared and Paul are outside in case he needs them." He stayed still as he spoke. "There's something else, though." He paused. "I don't know how this is going to work. Jacob's the rightful Alpha to the pack, not me. I don't know what to do about this." It hit me then. Sam could walk away from all the responsibility now if he wanted to.

I blew lightly onto his ear lobe as he sighed.

"I love you," he said in a sad voice. I kissed his back softly.

"I love you more, though."

Sam's body seemed to tense before he spoke. "If Jacob wants to be Alpha, that means that we have to fight for it. I can't turn it off all of a sudden. And there can't be two alphas to one pack." The pack always got into fights; I didn't see what was so bad about another one. Jacob was younger than and probably nowhere as big as Sam was.

"Then fight him for it if you want it," I told him simply.

Sam laughed bitterly. "It's not just a regular wolf fight, Em." He reached up and moved my arms from around him and turned around, pushing me back so he could face me. "We fight til one of us dies. Until one of us kills the other."

I drew back from him, tears welling up in my eyes. "No, no and no," I said shaking my head at him. I couldn't let him do that. Not for the prize of being the Alpha. "We can move, or you can just not phase anymore," I whispered. I couldn't handle it if anything happened to Sam. If he died, I died with him. I was no good without my other half.

He took my hands in his and held them as he looked into my eyes. "I can't do either of those and you know it. I can't just run away. Jacob might not even want to be head of the pack anyway."

I hoped with all my heart he didn't. If he had to kill Sam for it, he might as well take me with him. "I don't want you to die," I whispered as I sniffled, hiccupping.

Sam smiled at me then. "I don't think I could lose so easily to him. I have more experience than he does." He kissed my right cheek with his warm lips. "I just want you to be prepared for the worst, honey." I nodded; my tears were drying up now that I was calming down. His large thumb was wiping the fallen tears from my face, making me feel better with his touch.

"I have more problems than that now anyway." His eyes changed to being worried in a flash. "Paul was hiding something again." I looked at Sam, waiting to hear the bad news whatever it was. Sam squeezed my hand. "That blonde girl he's been seeing told him that she thinks she's pregnant today."

I didn't say anything for a while. I just stared in disbelief. How could Paul keep that a secret of all things? He should have been jumping for joy. Happy as a clam even if he was way too young to be a dad.

"Is that a bad thing?" I finally asked.

Sam shrugged, the tiredness coming back to his feature. "Paul told her it's not his baby if she is. That she must be lying. He told her that he didn't want her or "it" if it was his child. He said she was nothing to him, that it is what it is and it's not his fault she was stupid enough to fall in love with him over a good time."

The sting of Paul's hurtful words made me gasp. How could someone be so hateful to the woman that was so obviously carrying his child? More importantly, how could he refer to a small, fragile baby as "it" the way he had?

"Maybe you should talk to him again without me this time; he can't be like that Sam. It's not right"

I felt terrible for the girl. She had enough to deal with by being pregnant so young, much less by Paul who wanted nothing to do with her. I felt bad for the unborn baby. It pained me to no end to know that someone didn't want what I had so desperately tried to have of my own.

Sam pulled me toward him and hugged me against his bare chest, kissing the top of my head. "I might try to. I don't know how well that's going to turn out though. Paul's being pig-headed as usual."

I inhaled deeply, baking in his scent and loving his body heat. "Make him be nice to her."

Sam laughed, sending vibrations through me. "I can't do that, it's not right." I pulled away from him.

"He's not right either, Sam. He has something so precious and is treating this situation like a curse." I pushed the blankets back again and crawled under them. "Let's go to bed, Sam. It's been a long day."

He nodded and moved around so that he was lying beside me on top of the blankets though. "Come here," he mumbled. I scooted over closer and let him pull me on top of his chest and wrap his arm around my back as we lay there, drifting off, our hearts totally in sync.

I yawned sleepily as I leaned over the stove, flipping the dozen of sunny side up eggs I had frying. I still had five more minutes before I had to grab the bacon from the oven. It was raining outside already, making me think that the day would be dreary and bad. Sam was still upstairs asleep where I left him.

I'd woke up in a sweat from laying in his arms and decided to go ahead and get breakfast ready for the pack when they made it in. I'd made extra just in case the new one, Jacob decided to show up with them.

I was setting the pan down onto the counter when the backdoor opened with a quiet creak and they came in one by one.

"Morning, Emily." they seemed to mumble at the same time. I had my head down as I fixed their plates for them.

"I was wondering if Sam would have to eat this by himself," I joked. I lifted my head up and realized I was being stared at. My eyes met a pair of chocolate brown ones. "Oh," I mumbled.

This boy was almost as tall as Sam was. He was just about as broad-shouldered too. Not the same baby-faced Jacob I remembered from almost a year ago.

"I'm happy to see you came," I greeted him as nicely as I could. His eyes cut down quickly, the others had obviously told them not to stare at me. "Jacob, right?" I prodded him, the same way I'd had to do with the others.

Jared, Paul, and Embry were watching us in silence as they chewed and crunched their food.

Jacob nodded. "Yeah," he finally spoke. The sound of his voice reminded me greatly of his father.

"I'm Emily," I introduced myself. "Sam's girlfriend. Well, Fiancé now, I guess." I passed him a plate. "Sit down." He pulled out a chair, looking around, he seemed like he was out of place somehow.

Jared crunched loudly on his bacon, smacking. "So when's Sam getting up?"

I looked down at them. "I'm not sure. I let him sleep. He, um... he's not really…" I let my voice trail off and turned away from them, busying myself by wiping down the counters. "So I guess there are six of us now."

Embry grinned happily. "I thought you would never phase, dude. You were always so calm. I wanted to hang out so bad."

Jacob nodded. "I understand now. It's okay. I just can't wait to tell Bells about this. I'm a freak and didn't even know it."

The talking and movement stopped after he spoke. I knew the pack was thinking the same I was. Sam wasn't going to like that at all. I turned around slowly and wiped my hands off on a dish towel. "I'm gonna go tell Sam you guys are here." I headed toward the stairs. I could hear what sounded like footsteps as I walked toward our room.

"Sam? Are you up yet, baby?" I called out softly, knowing he would hear me. The bathroom door opened, Sam was standing there in a pair of cut offs smiling at me.

"I'm up, I smelled breakfast."

I rolled my eyes. "Of course you didn't notice my body wasn't lying by yours anymore, you just woke up and smelled the bacon… literally."

Sam smirked at me. "And the pack of wolves downstairs with you." I heard a chair scrape the floor downstairs, I tilted my head listening before I moved in to Sam.

"So I was thinking… if you're going to be out with them today... I might go look at some wedding stuff."

He looked at me steadily for a moment. "If you want to you can, we haven't talked much about it, though."

I smiled at him shyly. "I was hoping we could sooner rather than later. By the way, I don't think you need to worry about Jake being Alpha."

Sam frowned, whether at the wedding or because of Jacob, I didn't know. "Maybe you should go out then. That way you're not here just in case."

I nodded and reached over and ran my index finger down his stomach. "You can't even give me a good morning hug or kiss?" I asked coyly.

He appraised me a moment, wondering what my intentions were before he leaned down and embraced me tightly, pressing his mouth against mine. The warmth of him ran through my body, to the tips of my toes.

"You should have got up earlier," I whispered into his ear before biting the lobe lightly as I pulled away from him.

Sam looked at me, up and down in a way that made me feel like he was remembering every inch of me he had ever seen.

"Be back at four," he said lowly. I smirked at him and I headed back downstairs.

"Maybe," I teased.

I led him downstairs to where the pack was at. They grew silent again as soon as Sam entered the room. He stood there in the doorway, looking at each of them. "I'm glad to see you decided to give us a chance, Jacob," he said in a calm tone.

Jacob nodded, not meeting Sam's eyes. "I don't like it. I don't like it one bit. But I guess this is better than being alone."

Sam pulled out a chair and sat down into it heavily as I slid his plate in front of him and hurried to get him his usual cup of coffee.

"We'll talk more later," he told Jacob, glancing at me. Jacob nodded again, not saying anything. I had a feeling he was going to be even harder to adjust to this than Embry was.

"One thing you need to understand right now though is that when you're in my house, you will keep your temper in control. And you will not be disrespectful to Emily." Sam spoke to Jacob almost like he was giving an order.

"I understand," Jacob replied.

I reached for my black purse from the peg it was hanging on. "I'm going to go, unless you need something." I could tell this breakfast would get by easier if I wasn't in the house. Sam had Jacob and Paul to talk to all in one day. Jacob looked up at me, studying me in a different way than before, like he was curious.

Sam shook his head. "No. We'll clean up after ourselves today." His eyes met mine, they got that glazed over look in them.

"I'll see you when you get back." I unconsciously walked to him and leaned down and kissed him fully on the mouth."Love you," I whispered as I pulled away, earning groans from the boys. Sam gave them a look that told them to shut up.

"Be careful," he called out at me as I went out the front door.

I got in the truck and wondered where exactly was I going. There weren't any wedding type stores except for maybe a couple of florists. I drove down the dirt road, singing songs with the radio. Sam had loved it once he had got the chance to actually sit in the truck and listen to it.

I turned right and went to the small corner store without thinking much about it. They mostly sold Native American clothing but had a huge array of other items in there. It also had a certain blonde working in there that I'd seen with Paul. I couldn't help but want to get a peek of her.

I parked careful, not wanting to put a scratch down the sides of the bright red paint. I hopped out after glancing in the mirror and braced myself as I went inside. I hadn't had to talk to make friends since I moved here. Cassadee just kind of fell into a friendship of sorts with me, as did Sam's other family.

I pushed the door open making the bells jingle. I glanced to my left toward the counter quickly. I spotted her. I turned my head back down and walked through the store, breathing in the scent of new leather and tobacco. I guess I could look for some wedding stuff in here. We'd need certain vases for the water ritual and I'd need the appropriate beads to sew onto my dress if I decided to do a traditional Quileute wedding. I knew that would be Sam's choice anyway, over a church wedding. We'd have to go off the reservation for that.

I fingered some soft deer skin, admiring the color of it. I moved to turn around and ran into someone.

"I'm so sorry!" I exclaimed, turning my face upward. I realized who it was. The blonde. She looked down at the same time I looked up.

"N, sorry... I should have said something to let you know I was behind you," she mumbled. Her voice was sad even as she spoke. I bit my bottom lip a moment.

"I was just looking at the skins. I need to get started on a dress soon."

She lifted her head up then, peering at me. "Oh, really? For a wedding?" she asked curiously. I knew she was wondering who would want to marry me now that she'd got a good look. I smiled at her.

"Yeah, I'm just not really sure on which type, to be honest. Or what sort of bead-work to do on it."

She had on khakis and a bright blue polo shirt with a clerk vest. Her blonde hair was pulled up into a pony tail and she didn't have on any make-up, making the circles under her eyes showed badly.

"I can't help you much on that either," she said with a small smile. "I'm Sarah, by the way." She held out her hand, showing perfectly manicured nails.

"Emily," I said smiling back. I knew one thing, I couldn't let on that I knew Paul or the friendliness might disappear.

Sarah looked at me another moment before averting her eyes from me. "I'm sorry, I know I keep staring. I just cant help but wonder what happened to you." I held my arm for her to see too, turning it over.

"I got mauled by a bear awhile back," I told her, smiling still to show her that it didn't bother me. Sarah grimaced as she looked over my face at the scar tissue left behind.

"I haven't ever seen you at any of the bonfires before," I told her.

She shrugged. "I don't really go anywhere. I hardly go to the bonfires at all. My parents don't like me to hang out a lot here in La Push. I live just outside of the reservation, actually."

I nodded, showing her that I was listening. So her parents were strict, then and probably didn't like the idea of their daughter dating an Indian boy.

"I don't usually come out a lot, either. Just to the beach and to a few places once a week or so with Sa-- I mean, my fiancé." I didn't want her to know that I was with Sam or it might tip her off that I wasn't just an innocent shopper.

"If you want to stop back by later this week, I'll ask the owner about the skins and the beads for you," Sarah offered.

I nodded quickly. "That would be great, actually." I waved goodbye to her as I left the store, feeling pleased with myself. I headed toward the Thrifty Save to do some grocery shopping. My little day trip was keeping my mind off of the possible fight going on back at the house.

I grabbed a cart and tossed my purse into it and headed through the store. I'd grown accustomed to the strange looks from buying in bulk. It was either buy a lot at a time or make three trips a week. I paused and grabbed three loaves of bread and tossed them in. I went further on down and put 6 gallons of milk in next. I grabbed 12 cartons of eggs, knowing that I was being watched. I got a few more items before pushing my first cartload to the front of the store and telling the cashier I'd be back as I got another cart. It usually took three carts. I didn't have to buy much meat. Sam usually took care of that. The pack seemed to enjoy the hunt but not so much the actual butchering part. I grabbed a few packs of salmon and then a huge pack of paper towels. I wished we had a Costco closer than Seattle as I pushed my third cart to the front.

The cashiers groaned as they started checking me out. They hated and liked it at the same time when I came in to shop. They liked it because it was a guaranteed $300 each time. I came once a week to keep from running low on anything. They hated it because it was so much stuff to ring up and bag.

I paid and pushed one of the carts out to the truck and started tossing the bags into the back, thanking the boy that had came out to help me. I headed back home, hoping I wouldn't pull up to something worse than I could even start to fathom. I slowed down deliberately as I passed by the store I'd been in earlier. Sarah was walking out, her head down, looking sad as she walked the length of the sidewalk. I frowned as I headed down the mail street and turned off onto our dirt road toward the little house.

I pulled up, bracing myself. I was surprised to see the boys outside in the yard, no shirts on of course, cleaning up- trimming bushes and pulling weeds. I didn't see Paul or Sam though. I got out and shut the door to the truck.

"I've got a ton of bags in the back," I called out. Jacob, Embry, and Jared came over quickly. Jacob looked more at ease and less nervous than he had earlier. I grabbed a few light bags and glanced over my shoulder at them. "Where's Sam?"

Jacob nodded toward the house. "Inside, talking with Paul. We keep hearing a lot of growling and a few snarls."

They all seemed a little too happy at the idea of Sam hurting Paul. I followed the boys into the kitchen, dropping the bags on the kitchen table before I went into the living room where I could hear voices.

Sam looked up as soon as I neared, his eyes instantly clouding over when he looked at me with adoration.

"You're back soon," he said with a big smile. I returned it, as I sat down beside him, the other three could get the rest of the bags.

"There wasn't much to do. I just stopped into that little store that sells deer skins and things and did some grocery shopping."

Paul's face flashed with a strange look for a moment. Sam only smiled at me. "Find anything interesting?" He asked a little too nicely.

I nodded. "A few things. The sales girl is supposed to help me later this week… I think her name was Sarah." I smiled as sweetly as I could "We talked for a few minutes, actually. She was really nice. Kind of sad though when I told her it was for a wedding."

Paul stood straight up; his face was turning red under his dark skin. Sam returned my smile. "That's not the same description I had of her. In my description she was quite terrified, scared enough that she didn't want to go to school in case she ran into the guy that scared her."

I laughed. "Who's afraid of the big bad wolf?" I laughed again, Sam joining me this time.

Sam stopped to catch his breath. He didn't laugh often but when he did he let loose.

"You know, you guys think you're so funny, don't you?" Paul snapped furiously.

I shrugged, entwining my fingers with Sam's calloused ones. "I just wanted to see what was so bad about her and I honestly don't know why she wants you so badly. She's too nice of a person from what I can tell to worry herself over you."

Sam squeezed my hand. "She is a nice girl. I know her parents. Her dad works in tribal relations at the office in town."

Paul glared at us, shaking and shivering. "She is not a nice girl," he growled. "She's crazy. She's obsessive. She should be institutionalized."

I chuckled. If anyone needed to be put away it was probably me for going along with this crazy life. "I don't know what's wrong with her, Paul. Sarah needs you right now and you won't even look at her."

Paul gave me a look, earning a growl from Sam. "Sarah doesn't need me. I told her I didn't want her. I already told her I wasn't in love with her or anything. She was just an easy…" He stopped there, not wanting to divulge into it any further with me.

I narrowed my eyes at him; he was fixing to have it. "You shouldn't have led her on either, Paul. You knew she liked you a lot. That's why you approached her when you did. You knew she would think you really did like her too so she went along with whatever you wanted." Sam was nodding in agreement, his eyes on Paul in case he decided to phase against his own few shreds on control. "And I think you're nothing but a selfish jackass to not want a baby you've created. A poor defenseless baby that didn't ask to be born. A baby that will need its father, especially if you have a son. Its not right, Paul and you know it." I threw the words at him.

Sam spoke then. "She's right, Paul. If you didn't want a baby then you should've been more careful about things. But it's too late for that now. The baby's been formed and it's your responsibility. There are people everywhere that would kill for a flesh and blood child of their own and you disregard this life as nothing but an insult to you."

I knew he was speaking of us now. Of how we would love to find out that we were expecting another baby. I felt the tears falling down my cheeks in a stream. I glanced at Sam noticing that he had tears built up in his own eyes that he refused to let fall in front of Paul. I covered my face in my hands, trying to calm myself down but I couldn't now.

"If you want a baby so fucking bad then why don't you adopt "it" and live happily-fucking- ever after together?" Paul shot out at us.

No words had cut through me like that in a long time. Hearing them from Sam's own brother made them so much worse. "Get him out of here now" I choked out. Sam was up in a flash, grabbing Paul roughly by the arm and pushing him to the door.

"You need to go," Sam told him lowly as he shoved him out and slammed the door in his face.

He came back to the couch where I was sobbing now, and wrapped his arms around me. "He shouldn't have said that. I'm so sorry," he whispered into my ear. I laid my head on his shoulder still crying. I was crying for my own lost child. I cried for Sam. I cried for Sarah being so lost and alone right now. I cried for Paul who would regret this later. "I d-d-don't know what's wrong with him," I cried. Sam rubbed my back gently in soothing strokes.

"He's young and reckless. He's scared out of his mind at the idea of being a father. And even scarier to him is the fact that he knows he can't really be with Sarah anyway because he didn't imprint on her."

I leaned my head up; I'd managed to soak the sleeve of Sam's dark t-shirt. "I'm sorry I ruined your shirt," I sniffled to him. I wiped under my eyes, knowing my make up had ran when I cried. "I'm too sensitive."

He shook his head and lifted my chin up. "No you're not. You have every right to cry. I don't want you to think for one moment that you should hold back anything."

I nodded, my head felt stuffy now. "You should go find him, Sam. I don't want him to go near her until he's calmed down."

Sam kissed me lightly. "I guess I will, then. I don't think I'll try and get through to him again just yet, though."

I inhaled his warm scent. "I think he'll come around. I really don't understand why she has to be imprinted on for him to care about her, though. I mean, she's the mother of his child."

Sam shrugged, tracing my face with his free hand. "I would allow him to tell her everything as long as he decided to help her. Her parents aren't going to be too happy about this. I know them enough to know that." I'd figured that out earlier on my own.

"Sam, I want to invite her to a bonfire. I want to get to know her. I feel like I'm supposed to be her friend or something." It sounded crazy and absurd but I did. Or maybe it was because this girl had something I so desperately wanted and would settle to just be near a baby if I couldn't have one.

He smiled faintly at me. "If you think she'll come, invite her. Don't tell Paul though. I think he'll come around." He kissed my scars softly. "I'm going to find him before it gets too late."

I nodded and kissed his wrist lightly. "I'll be here. I've got to do a few things." I still had floors to dry mop and dinner to cook for a pack of wolves.

Sam stood up from the couch slowly, obviously not wanting to leave but knowing he had to. "Love you," he said giving me 'the look'.

I waved him off. "I love you, too." He grinned at me as he left, shutting the worn and weathered door softly.

I moved from the couch and into the kitchen where the boys had already put away all the groceries except for three boxes of brownie mix and a can of frosting. I shook my head and grinned. Talk about a subtle hint. I grabbed a large mixing bowl and started adding the eggs and water to the mix, stirring it.

My thoughts went back to Sarah. I couldn't help but wonder why she seemed to be so drawn to Paul. I certainly didn't see the attraction. Then again, being imprinted on, I probably wouldn't. I didn't see the pack like that either, though. I saw them as kids. Sam was the only one I could see in a bright light. I emptied the brownie mix into two pans and slid them into the oven, setting the timer.

I grabbed the mop to start on the wooden floors. It was starting to get harder and harder to keep them from getting scratched up. I frowned at the trail of dirty paw prints that led to the back door. I didn't see how whoever they belonged to had fit inside the house. I shook my head and started scrubbing at them forcefully.

I was halfway done with I heard Sam's voice.

"Emily?" I kept mopping knowing he would come to the kitchen where the pull was the strongest.

"In here," I called back.

I stopped for a moment as he came in with Paul trailing behind him. He had his head hung low. I narrowed my eyes slightly, wondering why he'd brought him back. "Paul wants to talk to you," Sam told me with a sidelong glance. I nodded and bit down on my bottom lip.

Paul cleared his throat, not looking at me as he spoke. "I'm sorry I told you that about the baby. I'm not sorry that I don't it or Sarah, though." Hmm, some apology that was.

"It's not okay but I'll look past it," I said in a quiet tone. I couldn't forgive so easily as far as my baby was concerned. Sam was leaning against the table watching Paul as we talked. "It's okay, Sam. I'm not going to yell at him. He can act pig-headed if he wants to."

Sam smirked and nudged Paul. "You can go home now. Straight home, though. I think you have a lot to talk to your family about."

Paul rolled his eyes. "I'm not telling them anything. They won't even care. Heck, they barely even take care of my sister and me."

I saw an opportunity and took it. "Let's hope you'll be a better parent than they are, then." Sam flashed me a quick smile.

"I get it, Emily," Paul said testily as he walked out of the house.


	36. Chapter 36

**a/n-- Heya, sorry it took so long to get this up, had some technical difficulties. Sorry for this chapter being so huge too, but Im giving you guys a glimpse of my other story which I really hope you guys go and read. Its called The Red. Its good I swear! Thanks every who reviewed for me, it means alot. and finally thanks to Mediate89 for betaing this for me. :D**

Disclaimer-- I dont own twilight or any characters except for Sarah ((real sarah, sorry but i own you now haha j/k))

Chapter 36 - Big Trouble, Mister

It had been a week since I'd went to the small store looking for deer skins and beads. I was actually looking forward to going back. I could see a possible friendship in the making if things worked out just right.

Sam was at work for the day until seven. He had a lot to catch up on from taking an extra day off to meet with the elders for a few things. I'd dropped him off and kept his truck so I could head over to the store around three when I figured the small reservation school would be out for the day.

It had been a long week also. Jacob was still begging to see his friend Bella. Sam wasn't even close to budging on the subject though. The girl apparently had a vampire beloved. I couldn't help but not like her for that. Even if I hadn't met her, I was still feeling a small amount of dislike for Bella. From everything I'd listened in on from the pack discussions and from what Sam told me, the girl had a habit of leading Jacob on. He wanted her as more than a friend and no one but Jacob thought that it would ever happen. Embry described her as being pretty but not in a superficial way. Jacob said she was beautiful. I rolled my eyes to myself as I finished getting dressed to go.

Paul was showing no signs on warming up to Sarah since the talk we'd had with him last week. I'd started sewing on the yellow baby clothes again. When the time came, I'd give them to Paul.

I grabbed the keys and headed out, getting in the truck and heading toward the small store. The bonfire was coming up on Wednesday night; it was to introduce Jacob to the legends officially. But if Sarah was carrying Paul's child and Paul came around to her, she'd need to know the stories anyway. Sam had given me permission to invite her last week so there were no restrictions holding us back from carrying on as usual this week.

I roared past the garage and honked the horn, waving when I saw Sam standing around outside. We were putting every penny back we could to pay for the wedding of my dreams. I didn't want Helen or my parents to help with it. Neither of them really wanted this union as much as we did. Sam still had to go formally ask permission from my parents when we told them. I hadn't had much communication with my family since before the accident. The only one I talked to that was a relative was my Uncle Harry. I was worried about his health. He complained of not feeling well often.

He'd had a heart problem for a few months now, but it seemed to be taking its toll on him lately. The stress of everything was starting to bear down on him. I only hoped it wouldn't get to the point of being too bad to fix.

I swung into the parking lot, noticing happily that it was empty. I hopped out quickly and went inside. The door jingled when I opened it. I smiled when I saw Sarah sitting down on a stool behind the counter, looking tired. She had her hair pulled up messily and was pale.

"Hey, Sarah," I greeted her. She smiled in return, bringing some color to her cheeks as she got up slowly from her perch.

"Hey, Emily," she said in her quiet voice. She came out from behind the counter, stuffing her hands into the apron pockets. "I asked Mrs. Thail about the dress and stuff and wrote it down for you," she explained as she led me to the back.

She flipped through the skins and pulled out a soft-looking one. "This one is what you need, actually."

I ran my fingers over it. "I like it. It feels like touching a mink," I laughed.

Sarah laughed with me. "It does, doesn't it?" she touched it again. "I've got the bead patterns too up front." I nodded and took the skin from her; it was cut into one large piece so I could cut it out to what I wanted it to be.

"Good. I should probably get started on everything soon," I told her as I followed her. Sarah went back up to the counter and rummaged around before pulling out a blue binder and flipping through it.

"Who did you say you're marrying again?" She asked.

I coughed, trying to buy some time. As soon as I told her, the gig might be up. "Uh, well you probably don't know him. He's a bit older than me. He doesn't have a lot of friends, either..." I trailed off trying to stall.

Sarah grinned up at me. "Go on and tell me. I know you have to be about to burst and share it with the world."

I laughed at that. "You're right, I am." I picked up a tape spot on the counter to preoccupy myself.

"Well?" Sarah prodded me again.

I glanced up at her. "His names Sam. Sam Uley." I watched for the reaction I knew was coming. People here either loved Sam or hated him and thought he was abducting the youth and making them join his crazy little cult.

Sarah seemed to go paler under her already fair skin. She looked at me with wide eyes. "The same Sam Uley that's on the council?" She asked slowly.

I nodded, keeping the smile on my face. "That's the same one alright. He proposed only about two weeks ago, but we've been kind of talking about it for a while."

Sarah sat down onto the stool, probably to steady herself. "Oh. I don't really know him that well. My dad knows him kind of. He seems like an okay guy. He's not bad looking, that's for sure."

I laughed at her comment; Sam was far from bad looking. "He is a great guy, honestly. You should get to know us a bit better sometime soon; I don't have many friends here. I'm from Makah so apart from a few cousins and Sam's few friends who are all guys, I hardly know anyone my age here."

Sarah smiled -genuinely smiled- at me. "I don't have too many, either. My dad's kind of picky about who I hang out with. I'm sure it'll be fine to hang out with you though. He thinks a lot of Sam, apparently- a lot of people here do. And since you're his… fiancé, that proves you're not some wild child trying to lure me into a life of crime."

This was turning out better than I'd thought it would. I thought she'd run when I mentioned Sam. "Well, there's a bonfire on Wednesday. You should come to it. We'll both be there, along with Sam's pa- I mean friends."

She chewed down on her lip. "I don't know. I don't think I'll like his friends too much. Some of them are kind of… different."

I shrugged as I leaned down and looked at the picture she was showing to me in the book. "They're all nice guys deep down."

Sarah snorted at that and flipped another page. "Paul Kimkirk is not a nice guy no matter how deep his soul is." She grabbed another binder. "He's a jerk. I can't stand him and I know he hangs out a lot with Sam. I've seen them around town together before."

I focused on the drawings. "You don't have to hang out around him. There'll be a lot of us there."

She sighed. "I don't know. I don't know if I can stand to be around him for that long."

I caught her eyes then. "I'll stay with you the whole time, I promise. So will Sam. He wont let any of them do anything rude to upset you."

Sarah faltered a moment before finally giving in. "Fine. But I'm holding you to it. I haven't been anywhere in a while."

I grinned widely, ecstatic I'd gotten her to agree to go. My plans were all falling into place now. "Do you need a ride over or do you want me to pick you up here after work?"

She shook her head, unable to stop herself from smiling now. "Here after work at six if that's okay."

I scribbled down my number on a piece of paper. "This is my house, just call if anything changes. You have no idea how happy I am to have someone to talk to now."

Sarah folded up the paper and put it in her pocket. "I think I know what you mean."

I stayed there a while longer, making small talk and purchasing a few more things I'd need to get started with before heading home. I'd been in the store for two hours already.

I headed back home, feeling lighter and like I'd accomplished something for the day. I pulled up still happy as I got out with my bags. I opened to the door and found Sam already home and asleep in the recliner with his mouth hanging open. I laughed to myself as I went into the kitchen. Jake was sitting at the table, dipping cookies into a huge glass of milk. "Hey, Em," he greeted me.

I grabbed the pack of cookies from him. "You're going to ruin your dinner," I chastised him.

He grinned lazily at me. "I think I could eat the cookies and two plates of whatever you cook."

I tossed the cookies into the cupboard and grabbed what I needed to start dinner. "How long's Sam been home?" I asked him as I rinsed off the pieces of meat.

Jake shrugged. "An hour or two. He said he had a meeting with the council today, that they came and got him from work to talk to some man."

I frowned, wondering what had happened. "So how was school?"

Jacob shrugged again. "It was okay. I thought about maybe calling Bella. I mean, Sam didn't say I couldn't call her, did he?"

I shook my head at him. "Jacob, you know he meant no contact whatsoever. I mean, you can't even talk to Quil really, and he'll be just like the rest of you one day."

"Maybe he will be. I hope not."

I stirred the rice I'd put into the pot. "So what do you know about Sarah?"

"I know that she's not looking so good now days," Jake said slowly, not sure if he should talk to me about it or not.

"Well, I know all of that stuff… with Paul, obviously. I meant, what are the basics on her?"

Jacob thought a moment. "Hmm, I guess she's pretty nice. She's easy going. She dresses up a lot more than we do. She doesn't have of friends, though. Her parents are kind of strict with her. She doesn't go out a lot. And she's had a crush on Paul for a long time."

I was hovering around the stove lost in thought, stirring its contents around when I felt a pair of arms slide around my waist. "Hey. Beautiful." Sam whispered in my ear, his hot breath tickling my neck.

I smiled slowly. "You're home earlier than I thought you would be." He kept his arms around me as I leaned back into him, oblivious of Jacob still sitting at the table.

"I know. I had to take care of a few things is all. Nothing big." His voice was still low, like he didn't want any intrusion on our conversation. I tilted my head over when he pressed his mouth against my neck. Behind us, Jake let out a groan.

"Stop it… please."

I just smiled as Sam repeated the action. "You don't have to look," he told Jacob breezily.

"Its hard not to. You two aren't exactly trying to hide anything."

Sam blew into my ear for a moment, making me shiver. "It's our house. Besides, you can either see it in person or see it later tonight when I phase."

I turned my head up and kissed him quickly before I disentangled myself from his warm arms. "I guess we can stop torturing him for a few minutes. Dinner's ready."

Jacob let out a sign of relief as he got up. "Good thing, too. I'm hungry. I feel like I haven't eaten in days." He grabbed a plate and scooped heaps of chicken and rice onto it.

"Don't forget to get Billy a plate too before you go," I reminded him. I worried about the two of them living alone. They'd been doing it for years, but I still felt like they couldn't possibly be eating properly.

I fixed Sam's and shoved him down in a chair before sitting down close beside him. "So where is everyone?" I asked. We were missing three guests.

Sam swallowed a mouthful. "Embry's at home, his mom wants him to start coming home after school. Paul's out on patrol and Jared's asleep to take over when Paul quits."

I nodded; their patrols had been pretty easy lately. "Just one moocher tonight, huh?" I teased Jacob. He grinned at me impishly.

"But you like my mooching; otherwise you'd just have Sam."

Sam rolled his eyes and took a gulp of his coke. "There's never just Sam and Emily in this house." I elbowed him in the ribs.

"We don't mind, though."

Sam shrugged. "Not most of the time. As long as everyone has pants on." We all had to chuckle at that.

Jacob cleared his throat. "So I was wondering if I could talk to Bella. Like, just a phone call?" He asked Sam timidly.

Immediately Sam shook his head. "No, Jake. I don't trust her right now. She's got a bloodsucker for a boyfriend."

Jacob sighed. "He's not her boyfriend anymore, though." He twirled the ice in the glass around and around looking at it. "I guess I kind of was hoping I was."

Sam made a choking sound for a moment. "Not you, too. No, no and no. None of you seem to understand this."

Jacob's big brown eyes looked sad now. "I'm worried about her, though. She'll get sick again, Sam."

He still shook his head 'no' another time. "No, Jacob and I mean it."

I stayed silent throughout the exchange; I usually didn't get involved in the pack conversations unless I was asked to voice an opinion by Sam.

We finished eating in silence as the rain started to fall in heavy sheets. Jacob moved around fixing Billy a plate for dinner. "Come on, I'll give you a ride," Sam told him, grabbing his keys off the counter.

Jacob waved bye to me and followed Sam out. _Poor Jacob_, I thought to myself as I started putting away the leftovers. He would do anything to talk to Bella right now. He seemed drawn and attached to her, even though he hadn't imprinted on her yet.

I threw the dishes in the sink and decided I'd do them later. All I felt like doing was going upstairs for mine and Sam's usual night of lying in bed watching Tv for senseless hours together. It was our down time. I went up and changed into my pajamas. It was only seven in the evening but the rain was making it feel later. I popped a movie into the VCR and snuggled down into the sheets, breathing in Sam's scent. No matter how much body spray or fabric softener I used, our sheets always smelled exactly like him after he laid down in them.

I rested my head onto the stack of pillows and watched in a peaceful silence as the previews came on. The movie started just when Sam sauntered into the room. "You went to bed without me," he accused.

I smiled at him innocently. "I'm just tired is all; I had a long day of bugging poor innocent store clerks."

He gave me a look as he kicked his shoes off and pulled his shirt off next. "I've gotta get a shower before I lay down, okay?" He grabbed the first pair of sweats he could find and tossed them on the bed before taking off into the bathroom. I heard the shower come on and paused the movie and waited for him to come back. I shut my eyes, thinking back on different things. I felt bad for Jacob. He was truly worried about Bella. He cared so much for her. He cared so much he didn't realize he might hurt her. I knew Sam didn't believe in taking chances with others' safety. I wished he would relent and let him make just one phone call, though.

I opened my eyes up and watched Sam as he dried himself off, sliding the towel off from his waist. I glanced at him for a moment. My eyes traveled up and down before I looked away again and hit play on the Tv. He slid into bed beside me, moving as close as he could get.

"_27 Dresses_, huh?" He asked with a laugh in his voice.

I shrugged. "Yeah, I might as well watch it. I bought the stuff to start on my dress today."

He tugged on me so that I was lying across his chest. "Hmm. You never said when you wanted to get married, though."

I thought on that for a minute. "I don't know. I don't know when we'd get the chance to go away for more than a day."

Sam brushed his fingers back and forth on my arm. "I mean, I don't want your plans totally revolving around the pack."

I'd already thought of that. Honestly, there was no way around it. "It's okay. I don't mind. It gives me time to plan," I reassured him.

Sam's chest moved up and down as he took in deep breaths, we inhaled and exhaled at the same exact moments. Our hearts even seemed to be beating the same rhythm. "Yeah but, you still shouldn't have to do everything my way. It's your big day."

I moved my head over and kissed his bare chest. His skin had a satiny look to it. "I'm going to do things your way, though. Quileute. I want a water ceremony. And I want to be married here on this land. We'll have to rent the center. And I want everything done traditionally. No white dress and no church."

Sam's breathing was slowing slightly. "Whatever you want, honey. It's yours. I guess its kind of fitting though. I'm the chief, remember?" He teased with a laugh.

"Sarah helped me get a lot of stuff together today, actually. I invited her to the bonfire on Wednesday. I told her we'd pick her up from work and she could go with us."

Sam didn't say anything at first. "That's fine with me. She could probably use a friend."

I closed my eyes; his heat was keeping me warm. It was starting to get colder outside. "I think she can. I know she said she thought she was pregnant to Paul but I think she definitely is. She looks terrible and she started not to come in case she ran into him at the bonfire. I told her we would stay with her the entire time and that Paul would be nice."

"He will be nice or he will face the consequences."

I turned over so that my cheek rested on him and put an arm across his body. "I hope it all works out."

________________________________________________________________________________________

It was Wednesday evening. I was rushing around, packing the dozens of packs of hot dogs and buns in the back of the truck. Sam was carrying the ice chest with the drinks and put it in the back. Billy and Jacob were bringing everything else. I mentally double checked to make sure I hadn't forgot anything before I got into the truck and shut the door. First Beach was only a short way from where we lived, but it was too much to have to carry over. We drove a couple minutes before Sam expertly backed in close to where the bonfire would be set up. There were logs set around the well dug out fire hole. Paul and Jared were already there dragging pieces of wood to burn. Embry would show up later once it was completely dark outside.

I started getting the bags out, putting everything onto the small fold up table we'd brought with us. I was trying to hurry so we wouldn't be late getting Sarah. I didn't have much to do now that I got everything out. I looked at Sam; the other elders hadn't arrived yet. We were waiting on a few more people.

"Ready?" I asked him.

Jared looked at us. "Did you guys forget something?"

I shook my head quickly. "No, we just gotta go pick up a friend of mine I invited."

They all looked at me funny and then at Sam. Sam wouldn't allow just anyone to come and sit in on the stories.

"Come on," he said opening up the door to the truck and getting into the drivers side. I bounced excitedly in the truck making Sam shake his head and smile at me. "You're entirely too excited," he commented as we neared the store.

"Of course I am. A real live friend is coming to hang out with me tonight. And better yet, she's having a baby," I told him smiling.

Sam rolled his eyes. "I'm wondering which one you're trying to get- a friend or a potential baby."

I shrugged; I hadn't given much thought to that. "Either."

He came to a stop in front of the store and put the truck in park. "Here she comes," I told him as I saw Sarah coming out of the store. She had on dark blue jeans and a fluffy looking sweater with a jacket and a scarf over that. It wasn't even that cold outside. Her blonde hair was in ringlets today. I couldn't help but wonder if she'd dressed up because she knew that Paul would be there. I waved to her as I opened up the door and let her in. "I'm proud. You didn't even chicken out on me," I teased her as I scooted over to make room for her in the front on the truck. I moved closer to Sam, who was just kind of staring before he realized what he was doing.

"This is Sam. Sam, this is Sarah," I introduced them as Sam got back out of the small road slowly. He grinned lopsided at her as he went towards the beach.

"Nice to meet you," he told her kindly.

Sarah looked at him a moment before smiling shyly. "I started to call and say I didn't feel good. I'm so nervous even though it's just a bonfire."

I patted her shoulder. "You'll be fine. I'm glad you didn't change your mind though, we'll be the only two girls there."

Sarah laughed, starting to feel a little more at ease. "The only two girls with a group of guys? That doesn't sound so bad."

Sam rolled his eyes as we pulled up. "The only important one is in the truck with you two, though." He winked at me as I popped him "You never know, I might leave you for Embry one day."

Sarah giggled. "I didn't know Embry would be here, I know him from school. He's actually really nice." Her face faltered a moment. "Who else is here?" She asked, glancing out of the fogged up window the best she could.

"Just a few of the boys I work with, and the council of course. You probably know Jake and Jared." He purposely left out Paul's name. Sam gave her a reassuring smile. "Don't worry, you'll be fine. Besides, I promised your dad you'd be in good hands."

We both looked at Sam in awe. Neither of us knew Sam was talking to Sarah's dad.

"He talked to you about me hanging out?" Sarah asked in horror.

Sam shrugged it off easily. "Yeah. He just wanted to see if it was something he'd want you at. To make sure I'd keep an eye on you. The usual."

I shook my head, this was totally backwards. My new friend's father was asking my fiancé for crying out loud, to baby sit his daughter while we hung out.

"Come on you two, let's get out," he prodded us. Sarah reached over and opened the door and hopped out, waiting for me. I climbed down the truck and pulled a hoodie on over my light sweater.

"I'll introduce you to everybody," I told her as I grabbed her hand and led her over to the roaring fire. The pack called out greetings to us as we approached.

When they realized who I had with me, surprise registered on Jacob's face. He glanced behind to the woods. "Hey, Sarah," he said with a kind smile.

I sat down at the front of the fire next to Sam's spot. Sarah seemed relived not to see Paul. I knew he was somewhere close by though, or Jared wouldn't look so nervous. I passed her a coke. "So, Sarah, you know all these guys, right?" I asked her.

She nodded quickly. "Yeah, I have at least one class with everyone, I think."

Jared nodded. "Biology," he said, thinking a moment on it. "I never really noticed you before, though."

Sarah grinned, color rising to her face. "That's not what a girl wants to hear," she joked.

Jared laughed. "So what did you think about that project due in on Monday?" He asked her. I listened as they chatted easy, thankful the pack was accepting her. Well, most of the pack. Sam sat down heavily beside me now, entwining our fingers together.

"Paul's coming," he whispered into my ear.

I kissed his cheek quickly. "Thanks for the warning. Just keep him in check," I whispered back.

"Hey, guys why don't we start getting food?" I asked the pack loudly. It didn't take much convincing to get them up from the fire. I stood up and looked down at Sarah. "I'll bring you one," I told her, grabbing Sam's hand and tugging on it. My plan worked out great. As soon as we all crowded around the small table I'd put everything on, Paul had emerged from the woods and three steps from the fire.

Paul's POV -

_What in the hell was she doing here_? I thought angrily to myself as I got closer. It was like I couldn't get rid of the girl or something. I set my face into a grimace as I sat down as far away from her as I could get. I purposely didn't look at her as I felt the blue eyes on my face.

I ignored the greetings from my brothers, except for Sam's. I only nodded once to him, to show him that I acknowledged it. I watched as Emily sat down beside Sarah and passed her a plate. Sam was getting his own. I felt the heat rushing through me as I sat here, trying to control myself. How dare she. I couldn't believe Emily had brought her here, much less that Sam had allowed it. Emily was even more desperate for a baby than I thought she was.

I stayed still. I was hungry but I didn't exactly trust myself to get up right now. I tried not to listen as the two girls whispered and laughed with each other. Sam was staying expressionless, not wanting to take sides with his imprint or his brother. I knew who he'd pick. It wouldn't be me.

I waited until Billy Black cleared his throat and started to tell the same stories I'd heard over and over before getting up to get a plate. Sarah was hanging onto every word, enticed with the magic of it all. She gasped and jumped at the right parts, almost making me smile. Almost. I watched the group from the back, I let my eyes drift onto her now. She couldn't tell if I was looking from here.

It wasn't that I didn't like her; I did like her a little bit. Sarah was pretty; very pretty. Her personality was easygoing and she was honestly a fun person to be around- I just didn't want to be around her. I knew she'd had a crush on me for a while, that's why I chose her. I knew she'd be easy to get into bed. She hung onto my every word, dazzled by me when I smiled and kissed her. Then she ruined it by telling me that she loved me.

I didn't love her and I didn't want to risk learning to love her. I wanted nothing else to do with her. I got what I wanted- Sarah, and she should have left me alone like the others did. She was being all clingy and stuff. I didn't like that. I'd much rather be left alone except for the occasional hook up.

I heard her melodic laugh and felt my stomach flip before I shook it off. I let my eyes drift down to her baggy sweater and jacket complete with scarf ensemble. I stopped at her stomach, frowning. She'd told me she might be pregnant but had never confirmed it. There were too many hearts here for me to be able to tell right now. I didn't want a baby, either. I wouldn't be a good dad. I didn't have a paternal bone in my body.

I didn't even have a good home life of my own. My dad had quit hitting us. That didn't mean he was nice, though. Most days he just griped at us kids. It made things easier though, now that the council had talked to him. Sam never told me what had happened; I only know that my dad cowered from him now.

Besides, I wasn't good for Sarah. Even if I loved her, I could leave her at one glance if I imprinted. I didn't much like the idea of imprinting either, though. I didn't want someone to have ties on me like Emily did on Sam. I'd seen in his head too many times the effect she had on him. Emily could grow three heads and Sam would still look at her like a lovesick fool. It was disgusting.

The stories ended and everyone started moving around, talking and laughing now. Emily glanced my way, smiling slightly. I gave her a dirty look. Emily flinched and grabbed Sam's hand as if to say, I_ dare you_. Sam kissed her cheek softly before turning back to Billy, in deep conversation with him. Sarah got up from the log she was sitting on and to my horror, looked to be walking toward me.

I stood my ground as she stopped at the cooler two feet away from me and got a Sprite out of it. She hesitated a moment before she looked at me. "Paul?" She said softly. Her voice sent a shiver down my spine.

I looked away from her. "What?"

Sarah bit her bottom lip and looked like she wanted to cry before she spoke. "Can we… talk?"

I rolled my eyes. "Talk, huh?" I didn't want to talk to her. I wouldn't mind doing something more than that, though…

She glanced around; she probably didn't want anyone to see us talking. "Yeah. Please, Paul. I really want to talk to you," she begged. I'll admit, it felt nice to have someone begging for your attention.

I shrugged and grabbed the beer I'd been drinking from; I'd had to sneak it from Sam's box. "Come on then before I change my mind." I walked off down the beach, not waiting for her to catch up.

Sarah trailed after me, pulling her jacket closer as she tried to keep up. She didn't say anything until we were a safe distance from the group. "I don't know why you're treating me like this," she finally said. "I didn't do anything wrong."

_You said you loved me, that was wrong_, I thought to myself snidely. I still didn't say anything to her, just kept walking as the waves crashed against the rocks. Sarah grabbed my hand and pulled on it. "Stop walking and look at me," she said, her voice shaky.

I stopped and turned around and fixed her with a death glare. "What do you want from me?" I snapped at her, making her jump. She was still scared of me, I could tell.

"I just don't understand, Paul. I mean, we were... seeing each other… then you quit coming, you started to ignore me. Then when I tried to talk to you at school you… you yelled at me."

I didn't answer her, I just stared her with the same glare. Sarah faltered a moment, losing some of her confidence before going on. "You didn't even act like you knew who I was tonight."

I sighed. "I just want to forget about what happened, okay?

Sarah let a single tear slide down her cheek as she trembled. "I'm pregnant," she whispered.

I froze. So she really was pregnant for sure. I knew she wouldn't lie about it. Sarah wasn't the type to play games. I'd already tried to make it clear to her that I didn't want the baby when she'd told me she thought she was pregnant to start off with. Why was she telling me this?

More tears were falling from her blue eyes now, falling over onto the cheeks. "Aren't you going to say anything?"

I started walking again, angry. Angry at myself. Angry at her. Angry at everything.

"No," I replied.

She trailed after me, her scarf flying in the wind. "But it's your baby," she said tearfully. I didn't care whose baby it was as long as it stayed away from me. Far away.

"And?" I snapped, wishing she'd turn around and go back.

Sarah moved to grab my hand again and as she touched it I whirled around and gave her a small shove away. Or what I thought was a small shove. Sarah fell backwards into the sand as I pushed her. She didn't move to get up. She just sat there sobbing.

"Don't touch me again," I growled. "And don't talk to me either. I don't care if you're pregnant. It doesn't change anything between us. I still don't want you." I took off again, going faster, I was sure she wouldn't be able to catch up now. I could feel my inner wolf starting to take over as I fled from her. I didn't even care if she was still laying there crying.

I felt the spasm in my back as I phased, taking off into the woods on all fours, leaving my clothes in shreds behind me. I needed to get away from her. Far away from her. Seeing Sarah was bad. It was a bad reminder of things I wanted to forget. I didn't want to think about how I'd lost control with her. I'd growled at her in a not so loving way. I'd been way too rough with her when we'd had sex. I'd almost phased when things got too intense between us. But she still followed me around. I knew I was definitely good looking. But other than that, I didn't see the cause for infatuation. I was an ass. I'm rude. I'm mean for no good reason to innocent people. Yet this girl still claimed to love me.

----Emily's POV----

I paced around the fire. It had been twenty minutes and Paul and Sarah still hadn't come back. I heard a howl rise through the trees and froze. I looked up at Sam. "That's Paul, isn't it?" I asked worriedly. My thoughts ran wild, what if Paul had phased in front of her and hurt her? Or what if she had watched him phase and didn't get hurt and was still terrified? Worse, what had happened that made him phase?

Sam looked off into the darkness. "Come on," he said, grabbing my hand and taking me in the direction they had walked in. "I shouldn't have let her walk off with him like this," He said regretfully. We followed the footprints in the sand as best we could in the dark. I saw a lump near the water.

"There she is!" I exclaimed. I couldn't tell from here if she was hurt or not though. I ran hurriedly, letting go of Sam's hand. "Sarah?!" I called out.

I dropped to my knees beside her, putting a hand on her back as she sobbed. "What happened?" I asked her carefully. I rubbed her back. There wasn't any blood. Paul must not have physically hurt her.

Sarah's chest heaved a moment, trying to catch her breath. "P-P-P-aul… he yelled at me, and then he shoved me back and I fell," she managed to get out. Sobs overtook her again. I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her closer.

"Sam?" I yelled angrily. In a flash Sam was at my side. "Paul shoved her down and left her out here alone," I told him. Sam's eyes flashed. He knew all too well what the dark held. Even worse than that, he knew how hard she must have fallen after Paul had shoved her back in anger. I held her close as she cried. Sam gave me a dark look as he tossed his shirt onto the ground beside me.

"I'll be back," Sam said, obviously mad. He took off into the woods, quivering as he ran. A moment later I heard a series of howls erupt.

"Sarah, are you okay? Did he hurt you when he pushed you down?" I asked her, touching her lightly. I was scarcely two years older than her, but I felt like her mother as I comforted her.

She sniffled, resting her head on my shoulder. "I'm not okay," she whispered. It was taking all of my self control not to tell her that I already knew everything. I knew what had made Paul mad.

"What's wrong?"

Sarah reached up and wiped her cheeks and under her eyes. "This is so embarrassing," she said with a sigh. "I should have told you before I came. I was scared you'd tell Paul I was coming, though if you knew. And you seem like such a good person, and I want to be your friend so bad." She stopped and took a breath, readying herself. "I've been kind of... seeing Paul. Well, I _was_ seeing him. We had a fight and he quit talking to me. I thought tonight would be the perfect time to finally corner him and make him talk to me."

I nodded, still rubbing her back. "I figured you two knew each other." That wasn't a lie.

Sarah sniffled some more, not saying anything for a few minutes. "I'm pregnant."

I felt relieved that she'd finally told me herself. "Are you sure? Have you gone to a doctor?" I asked her.

Sarah shook her head. "I can't go to the doctor. They'll tell my mom. I took a test at home." She looked like she was about to cry again.

I hugged her. "What will they say?"

She shook her head quickly. "No! I can't tell them. They'll kill me. They told me to keep away from Paul. My dad said he was bad news. They don't like him at all."

I thought on it a moment. Her situation was difficult. She really didn't have anyone right now. "You should tell them, Sarah. You can't do this by yourself."

Sarah blinked as new tears fell. "I can't tell them, Emily. You don't understand." She really did seem scared to tell them. "My mom will be so mad at me."

I patted her on the back. "It won't be that bad, I promise it won't be. You have to go to the doctor at some point, Sarah; you can't not go."I knew too well what not going to the doctor could get you.

"I don't want to. Especially since Paul won't talk to me. He won't even listen to anything I say. He just gets mad and yells at me. I'm scared of him, too," She said softly. "He gets so mad at me; I don't know what to do. He told me he doesn't want me or the baby. He said he doesn't care if I'm pregnant." She sounded so in pain when she spoke of Paul. She might actually love him, I realized.

"You don't need him. Paul's just… difficult," I told her. She was better off without him. Paul didn't want to help her. All he did was cause her more problems. "He shouldn't have shoved you like that, knowing you were pregnant. He could have really hurt you."

She nodded. "He doesn't care if he hurts me. He's already proved that." She was calming down now. "When we were… when we were kissing he snapped or something and he grabbed my wrists and pushed me against the wall. It was like… he wasn't Paul anymore or something, like he didn't know he was hurting me."

My blood boiled when she told me he'd grabbed her like that. Who did he think he was?

Sarah leaned onto me talking softly. "He got mad because some guy in my math class was talking to me. I don't understand him. He doesn't want me but he doesn't want me to be with anyone else, either."

I listened to her talk, wanting to kill Paul with my own hands now. "Is he always mean to you like that? Physically?"

She shook her head. "No, not all the time. Just when he gets mad. He has a bad temper. He was usually calm, though when we were together. He was sneaking into my room at night to see me. I wasn't allowed to go out with him."

So Paul was a window watcher. That explained the way he would disappear on his night shifts at odd hours. He was going to Sarah's house, phasing and then spending time with her for a few hours before phasing back before Sam got up.

"You mean Paul was sneaking in through your window?" I asked her.

She laughed quietly. "I know, it must sound so stupid to you. I mean, you live with Sam and everything."

I smiled slightly. "Its okay. I actually used to sneak out to see him, too. My parents don't like Sam very much. That's how I ended up living with him."

Sarah lifted her head up, looking at me for a moment. "Really?"

I nodded, smiling still. "It's a long story. They didn't want me to see Sam. They tried to say all kinds of things about him, I couldn't take it. I needed him, so I left. I've been here with him ever since."

She smiled back. "Sounds like a good love story to me."

I laughed. "If that's what you want to call it." I looked into the trees. "Seriously though, Sarah, I really wish you would tell someone what's going on. I'll help you as much as I can, but you should go to the doctor."

Sarah sighed as she stood up slowly from the sand, shaking it off. "I will... eventually. I just want Paul to talk to me, though. Maybe he could learn to like me."

She had to be crazy to still want Paul after the way he'd treated her. "I think maybe Sam can get Paul to come around. I'll talk to him too. I have a way with him," I said with a smile.

Sarah helped me up as I stood. "So you guys are all pretty good friends?"

I nodded quickly. "Yeah, really close. We've all been through a lot together. I guess me and Sam are the head of the group." I smiled wryly at that. We were definitely the head of the group. Literally. "I have a soft spot for Paul. He's always been the one that seemed to need an authority figure to show they cared about him. It might as well be me."

Sarah laughed as we started walking the length of the beach. "Where did Sam go?"

I nodded toward the woods. "To find Paul. Paul listens to what he says."

Two figures were emerging from the woods now. Sam was walking quickly, Paul was trailing behind him. They came into view. "Let's go sit at the fire," was all Sam said as he led Paul. Paul looked like he was being weighed down by something as he followed Sam like a good little soldier. He must have had to order him to come back with him.

I nudged Sarah and we trailed after the two boys. She glanced at me nervously as we sat down. I sat beside Sam, Sarah across from us. Paul was sitting on the other side of her. "What the hell happened?" Sam said bluntly.

Paul gave him a look. "You already know."

Sam shot him a look right back. "I know your side."

Sarah cleared her throat softly. "It was nothing."

It hit me then. Sarah would do anything, even lie to keep Paul out of trouble.

Sam looked at her. "I think it was something."

I put my hand on his knee. "Sam…"

He shook his head. "No. Paul had no business shoving you down, Sarah. Or grabbing you the way he has before. Don't protect him."

Sarah seemed to tremble under Sam's voice. "No, it was my fault. I made him mad. I keep bothering him with stupid stuff."

I glanced at her. I couldn't help her now if I wanted to. Sam was in charge and I didn't speak during times like these unless Sam spoke to me first. As old fashioned as it seemed, I knew my place wasn't to speak up when I was at his side.

"You're pregnant, Sarah and Paul's got a baby on the way. I think its time he learns responsibility for his own actions."

Paul hung his head low as Sam addressed him next. "Paul, I don't want you to lay another finger on her again. I don't care if you don't want the baby, I don't care if you have anger problems, you will control yourself."

"Yes, Sam," he replied obediently. I let my eyes drift to him; he looked up meeting them for a moment before looking away.

"I'm sure she wasn't with anyone else, either. You put a stop to that early on," Sam told Paul, looking at him with hard eyes.

Sarah's eyes were downcast now, looking into the flames.

Paul glared at Sam. "That's none of your business." He threw Sarah a look of loathing. "It probably didn't stop anything."

Sarah cringed at Paul's words. "I didn't see anyone but you, you know that," she said tearfully "You were the only one."

"And how in the hell do I know that?" Paul snapped at her, making her jump.

Sarah lifted her eyes to look at him. "Because I love you," she whimpered as she sniffled as a few tears escaped.

Paul laughed loudly at her. I glared at him. His disregard for Sarah was almost sickening, like he enjoyed seeing her hurt. I looked up at Sam; anger was starting to build in him, I could tell. "Calm down," I whispered to him. He nodded, taking a deep breath. It took a lot to make Sam mad and Paul was pushing it with him.

Sam looked at Paul again, making Paul halt his laughing. "Paul, you need to be civil to Sarah until you at least find out for certain that this is your baby. You can't be mean to her anymore. You're pushing a fine line of cruelty."

Paul's face turned red. "I don't want to be nice to her; I want her to leave me alone. I want to go on like nothing happened."

Sam shook his head at Paul with a look of distaste. "It's not that easy. This is something you'll have to learn to live with. I'm not saying you have to date her or pretend you're in love with her, I'm just saying that you have to be nice."

Sarah seemed relieved by Sam's help. I gave her a small smile as I stayed silent, ready to agree with whatever Sam said. It was just the way things were.

"How far along are you?" Sam asked Sarah slowly.

She shrugged. "I think six weeks, maybe. I haven't gone to a doctor." She fidgeted with her sweater.

Sam nodded and then looked at me before speaking. "I take it your parents don't know yet?"

Sarah shook her head quickly. "No, I can't tell them."

Sam sighed, rubbing the top of his head. "I could talk to them for you. I get along with your dad pretty well. It might come better from me thnn someone else."

Paul didn't look too happy about that. "Are you going to tell them she's pregnant or that she's pregnant and it's mine?"

Sam laughed harshly at that. "Are you worried?"

Sarah was looking at Paul. "Can't you wait awhile before saying anything?" She asked Sam worriedly.

"No, I'm going to have to tell them soon, Sarah. You have to go to the doctor. You can't just walk around sick and expect them not to notice. Your dad already knows something's up with you. When he talked to me he said he'd been worried about you because you seemed withdrawn."

I listened to them talk, it was getting colder outside by the minute. Paul was still visibly angry, but calmed down from earlier. Sarah looked like she wanted to crawl under a rock. Sam was impatient and irritated. He was madder with Paul for hurting her than the being mean and yelling at her.

"What are you going to do if this is your baby, Paul?" Sam asked him.

Paul scoffed. "Not a damn thing. I don't want "it". I didn't ask for this. She should have taken better precautions. I mean, what kind of girl just jumps into bed with someone like that?" He gave Sarah a sidelong look of death. "I kind of assumed since she'd jumped into bed with me so easily, she was already taking those precautions. Meaning I assumed she was sleeping around." He looked back at Sam. "How do I know she's not just trying to trap me?"

Sam rolled his eyes at him. "Yeah, Paul, because you have sooo much to offer a girl." I smiled in spite of everything. I wished I could get a little input here; Sam still hadn't spoken to me.

Paul scowled. "Are we done here, yet? I have a date."

Sam laughed at him after he said it. "The only date you've got tonight is with me kid. I hope you're ready to work." Paul groaned loudly. "Why am I being punished because that whore got herself pregnant?" He stood up angrily and stomped off, Sam's binding having fallen off of him.

I glanced at Sarah; Paul's words had stung her. She was silent as tears fell down her cheeks. "Thank you," she whispered to Sam.

He nodded at her. "I don't want you to think that just because we're friends with Paul, we won't be here for you. What he's doing isn't right."

I nodded, agreeing with him. I felt like it was okay to talk now with Paul gone. "Anything you need, just tell us. I don't want you to be alone through this. We're friends." I offered her a small smile. "Paul does a soft side. He just can't show it very well right now. He doesn't realize what he does."

Sam nodded slowly. "I should catch up with him." He looked into my eyes. "I'll be out for a while. Go ahead and take Sarah back home. I'll come in later so don't wait up for me okay?"

I was disappointed by that. I tried not to let it show. "Okay. Be careful, though," I told him. He leaned over and kissed me, pressing his mouth against mine fully for a few seconds before he pulled away.

"Night, Sarah," he told her as he stood up.

Sarah gave him a small smile. "Thank you. Can you at least warn me before you see my dad, though?"

Sam nodded quickly. "Don't worry; I'll get Emily to tell you when I do it." He waved good-bye to her as he walked off, stripping off his shirt again as he disappeared into the darkness.


	37. Chapter 37

**A/N- Hiya! thanks everyone who reviewed the last chapter for me, I love getting them it makes me work a bit faster on new chapters. This will be probably the last one for a afew chapters that I show you guys any of Sarah and Paul from the other story. If you didnt check it out yet you should. ITs called the red and its off to good start :D. Thanks to mediate89 for betaing this for me.**

Chapter 37- It Wasn't Me… Or Was It?

I rolled over onto my side after I woke up. Sam was lying there, watching me. I smiled slowly. "Morning, beautiful," he said softly to me. He leaned over and kissed my cheek lightly.

"How long have you been awake?" I asked him as I edged closer so that we were touching now.

He shrugged. "I don't know. I've just been lying here, staring at you." Sam grinned at me. "You snore."

I laughed. "I do not snore. At least I don't growl."

Sam brushed a piece of my hair back. "You usually like it when I growl."

I smirked at him. "It depends on the situation."

Sam ran a hand down my side, staring down at me "So, I went and talked to Sarah's family."

I looked at him. "How bad was it?"

Sam shrugged and looked out of the window behind us. "They didn't take it very well. Her mom started crying, of course. Mr. Carter blew up. He was pretty mad. He automatically knew it was Paul." He sighed. "Before I left, he talked to me alone and asked me to keep Paul away from Sarah. Mr. Carter doesn't want him anywhere near her. He said he knows I'm good with the kids and to do everything I can to discourage any contact between them."

I laid my head down, thinking on it. Everyone but Sarah wanted Paul to stay away. "But he can't just not go around her. It's his baby, Sam."

He looked down at me. "I know, Em. I don't know what to do here. I told him I'd try but we both know Paul's going to be here when Sarah is, so I lied, but at the same time, maybe we could just convince her to not want him around."

I gave him a sharp look. "That's not right and you know it."

Sam sighed. "I know its not. It's just… tough. I don't know why she just can't accept that he doesn't want anything to do with her; I think he'll come, around though. It's just going to take some work with her parents. She's not allowed to go anywhere but school and work. Well, she can come here with us, but only because I'm here and they trust me."

I thought on it. So Sam was our only hope here with Sarah's family. "Did you get to talk to her at least?"

He nodded. "Yeah, she's coming over here later to hang out with you. I don't think she wants to be at home so I told her it was fine to come over to the house."

I crawled over him in the bed, getting out from the under blankets. "You let me sleep too long," I told him as I grabbed clothes to take a shower with. "I didn't even get up and fix you guys anything for breakfast."

"We ate, don't worry," He said with a smile. "I think Paul was happy he didn't see you, anyway."

Paul was avoiding me like the plague. I hated the way he treated Sarah. The sad thing was that she let him as long as it meant he was talking to her. I shook my head as I went off into the bathroom and got into the shower.

**********************************************************************************

I opened the door up quickly smiling at Sarah. "Come in, come in," I greeted her. I waved to her mom who was backing out.

Sarah glanced behind her. "Thank you so much for letting me come over here. I can't handle it anymore at home."

I led her into the living and motioned for her to sit. Sarah sat down on the loveseat, hugging herself as she looked around. It was her first time in mine and Sam's house. I knew she'd be curious. I noticed she was, once again, wearing a thick, baggy wool sweater with a jacket over it. It seemed to be her way of hiding the small bump she'd already started to get.

"This is… different," she commented as she looked at wolves everywhere.

I laughed watching her eyes. "They're Sam's. He did all of that before I even moved in. They mean a lot to him," I explained to her. I grabbed a throw pillow and hugged it.

Sarah turned back to me and smiled. "Any certain reason why?" She asked.

I shrugged. "Just something he likes. He has a strong liking to them." It didn't hurt that he could transform into a wolf in mere seconds, either I thought to myself.

"I guess he told you everything from this morning?"

I nodded. "Yeah, he told me your parents didn't take it very well. But then again, whose would?"

Sarah sighed as she took off her jacket and slung it on the back of the couch. "They're so mad at me. My mom's basically grounded me even though there's not much fun I can have while I'm pregnant, anyway. My dad is planning Paul's death."

I laughed. Sarah's dad wouldn't even be able to hurt Paul, much less kill him.

"They want me to stay as far away from him as possible. They talked about sending me to Forks for school. I want to stay here though, near Paul." She looked down at the wood floor as she talked now. "I actually wanted to ask you something about him."

"I was listening to the elders the other night and what they were saying made me think of Paul. And I was just wondering if maybe…" She stopped. "Well, never mind." She fidgeted around. "It just seems so odd," she whispered to herself.

I froze, I knew exactly what she'd been about to ask. I wasn't the one to tell that though. It wasn't my secret to tell. I heard a creak at the top of the stairs and jumped up quickly as Sam came down. His mask of perfect calm was on his face. He was shirtless; his bronze skin was gleaming as he came down the stairs.

"Sam," I said slowly. He was supposed to be asleep after a long night of patrolling.

Sam looked at me a moment before addressing Sarah. "You wondered if it was true? If we were shape-shifters?"

Sarah flushed as she met his gaze. "I know its stupid… I don't know why I even thought that."

Sam instinctively pulled me closer to him as we sat down across from her. "They are true. Usually I wouldn't tell you that, but considering you're carrying Paul's child, I feel like you need to know what you're getting into." He paused and looked at me, his eyes sweeping over my face. "I need to tell you more about Paul, Sarah." He squeezed my hand tightly in his own.

Sarah was sitting still, completely silent. I knew she was wondering if we were both crazy.

"Sarah, there are signs you need to watch for to see if he's getting mad. If he loses his temper it can get ugly quick. If Paul starts to shake at all, or fly into a rage, you need to get away from him as quick as you can, okay?"

I looked at the floorboards; it didn't take much for Paul to lose his temper, either. He couldn't control it once he did. The tiniest thing would set him off.

Sam continued. "He won't realize he's hurt you until it's too late. He might not even remember what made him mad in the first place. Paul's my most temperamental brother so far. I'd really like for you to try not to be alone with Paul. Not to mention your parents don't want you to be around him, either. I don't trust him to be close to you and not do anything out of anger."

Sarah let out a deep breath she must have been holding in for a while. "Well, that explains a lot," she said slowly.

I smiled at her as kindly as I could. "I know it's a lot to take in at once but at least you believe in it."

Sarah smiled back at me. "It's so crazy I can't help but believe it. It just explains so much about Paul and the way that he acts." She ran a hand through her blonde hair. "So my parents told you to keep me away from Paul?" She asked Sam.

He nodded looking out of place. "Yeah, they seem to think I can keep you two apart from each other."

She laughed lightly. "That's not a problem right now. Paul doesn't look at me at school. Well, he did yesterday when Jacob Black stopped and picked up my bag for me- he kind of glared." She placed a hand over her stomach. "It's like he doesn't want anyone to be nice to me just because he isn't."

I leaned against Sam. "Paul's… different in showing how he cares. I don't think he knows how, to be honest."

Sam kissed the top of my head lightly. "Paul's not exactly good with feelings and talking and things like that, believe me." He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tightly. "I need to go back to bed, okay?"

I nodded and lifted my head to kiss his jaw line. "Go ahead, I'll have everything ready when you get up, alright?" I released him from my hold, letting him get up and walk back up the stairs.

"Sarah?" He said, pausing at the top. "Please think about what I said. Just... don't ignore it." He gave her a small smile as he turned and went up, shutting the door softly behind him.

Sarah looked at me for a while. I didn't move under her gaze as she looked my red scars over. "Emily?" She started timidly. I knew what she was going to ask before she could get it out. "Is that what happened to you? You were too close when Sam got mad?"

I nodded slowly, smiling faintly. "Kind of. It's a long story, though. I did something to upset Sam a lot. I kept digging at him until he couldn't take it anymore. I kept pushing him to see how much I could hurt him." I paused, glancing at her to make sure I wasn't scaring her. "It was my own fault what happened to me. I wouldn't stop and I got what I deserved for it."

Sarah looked into my eyes. "How can you be with him after he did that to you?" She whispered quietly.

I widened my smile- if she only knew. "It's hard to explain. We're meant for each other. Sam didn't do this to me. I did it. I'm only lucky that he still loves me like he did before. I'm nothing without Sam." I didn't feel this was the right time to explain imprinting to her.

She didn't seem to know what to say at first. I got up from the couch and moved to the kitchen. "Are you hungry? Thirsty?" I called out to her. "I have tea, lemonade, Coke, Kool-Aid and a bunch of different snacks."

"Maybe some tea," she called back, getting up from the couch and following after me. "I'm trying not to eat a ton. I don't want to gain a lot," she said with a smile.

I rolled my eyes at her. "Gaining weight is the least of your worries," I told her with a smile as I poured her a glass and passed it to her.

"I don't want to seem pushy… but have you decided anything about the baby yet?" I asked her carefully.

Sarah shook her head. "No, I don't know what I'm going to do. I can't take care of a baby on my own, but I can't imagine giving my baby up for adoption, either. I don't think my parents will help too much with anything. I'm kind of hoping Paul will change his mind." She sipped her tea and swallowed. "I know it sounds crazy but I want him to marry me or something."

I tried not to laugh at the last part. Paul wouldn't marry anyone. Ever. Even if he imprinted he wouldn't get married. He wasn't the type to settle down. "Just give him some time. Paul will come around," I told her with a small smile as I moved around the kitchen, taking things down for dinner. "Sam will do his best to help get him to change his mind. He's kind of the leader of the pack." I went into a conversation with her then, explaining "wolf" thing to her. It was a lot to learn and even worse to figure out on your own.

Sarah listened intently to me, taking in every word I said. We talked for a couple of hours until I heard the front door slam shut and heavy footsteps sound across the floor. Moments later Paul appeared in the doorway of the kitchen with Jared at his side. He gave Sarah a dirty look as he walked over the fridge and grabbed a Coke out of it and sat down on a bar stool rather than at the table beside her.

"Why is she here?" He asked me.

Jared looked uncomfortable as he sat down beside me, looking from Sarah to Paul nervously.

"_Sarah_," I emphasized, "is here because she's my friend and Sam's also." I kept chopping the vegetables into tiny pieces. "So I expect you to be nice to her while she's here in my home."

Paul snorted loudly. "Why should I be nice to someone who's going around telling everyone I got her pregnant when she knows it's a lie?"

Sarah's eyes flashed with pain. "Maybe I should go," she started.

I shook my head at her. "No, you stay. You're staying for dinner." I glanced at Paul. "He can just behave himself or I'll get Sam up."

Paul rolled his eyes at me. "Why don't you let her go? She probably has some guy to go meet, anyway."

I popped him on the side of the head with the wooden spoon I was holding. "Enough!" I demanded. Jared cracked a smile, not believing I'd actually hit Paul. He was rubbing the side of his head. "Its okay, you can hit me all you want to, it doesn't change the fact that it's not my baby, or that I still don't want the reservation slut."

"Sam?" I called out loudly. I knew if he was asleep he wouldn't actually hear me, but Paul didn't. He clammed up quickly, looking at the stairs nervously. I smirked at him as I sat down at the table. "Scared?" I asked Paul snidely.

He shook his head. "I'm not scared of Sam. He doesn't bother me. I just wish he'd quit babying her." I shook my head, not even answering him as I got up and went to the laundry room. I rummaged around for a few minutes as they sat in silence. I found what I was looking for and went back to the kitchen, holding them out in front of me.

"I made these for you," I said, smiling at Sarah. I had two little yellow outfits sewn already. I handed them to her. Sarah gave me a grin as she looked them over happily.

"Thank you," she said folding them up.

Paul snorted. "Don't forget how expensive it is to clothe a baby, Sarah," he said mockingly as he gave her a shrewd smile.

There was a noise in the door of the kitchen; Sam was leaning in it, shirtless still, only in sweats, looking tired. "You'll know soon enough, Paul. You're going to be broke."

Sam motioned at me; I got up and grabbed a glass, hurriedly fixing him something to drink. I could feel Sarah's eyes on me as I moved quickly. I passed it to him, staying where he was. He took a sip from it, looking at Paul with hard eyes. "You'd better rest up. You start work on Saturday at seven."

Paul looked shocked, surprised and mad all at once. "Work?" He asked slowly. It seemed he was losing color from his dark skin.

Sam smirked at him and handed me the glass back. "Yes, work. At the garage. You're the new oil pit guy on weekends." He gave Paul a smile and walked past him, brushing shoulders slightly as he moved around, getting a box of Cheez-Its to snack on. "I'll work your patrols around your work schedule at the garage. You should start sleeping while you still can, so I wouldn't plan on having too many dates."

Paul glared at him gripping the counter until I nudged his hand away from it, not wanting him to break it. "I don't want to work. I have a life."

I glanced at Sarah, making sure she was staying where she'd been sitting at. She was looking at Paul with an observing eye now, like she was trying to see any of the symptoms we'd warned her of.

"Too bad. You have a job now. You have a child to take care of. You can't expect anyone else to take of the baby you created," Sam replied calmly. He shoved a handful of crackers into his mouth and chewed noisily.

"It's not my child, though!" Paul snapped angrily. He was starting to edge toward the door now, little by little. Jared was starting to tense like he might run for it too. Sam shrugged, moving slightly making both of the younger boys freeze when he did.

"We don't know that yet. You need to be prepared just in case, though. You have tons of stuff to start buying. Besides, I haven't got to talk to your parents yet. I figure we'll both sit down with them tomorrow." He let his eyes drift back over me. "I don't want to hear you being disrespectful to Emily again in our house, either. You know what will happen if you upset her." He gave Paul a stern look and it seemed his teeth bared slightly before he grabbed his Cheez-Its and went back upstairs. "I'll be up here for a while," he told me as he went up.

I watched him disappear back upstairs. I felt kind of annoyed; it seemed like all Sam was going to do today was hide away upstairs alone and sleep. I went back to the stove and stirred the pot around. "If you two want to make a run for it, now is the best time," I told Jared. He looked at Paul as if to ask if it was okay.

"No, I think I'll stay. I told my mom I would be here anyway," Paul said giving me his dazzling smile. He hit Jared lightly on the arm. "Come on, lets go watch the game." They walked off into the living room together, turning the Tv on.

I turned back to Sarah. "I'm sorry about that. It's like the only person he listens to halfway is Sam." I gave her an apologetic smile and slid back down across form her. "Just a glimpse into what pack life is like, only you didn't get to see the fur flying around."

She laughed softly. "So they fight-fight? Like, in their wolf forms?"

I nodded; I'd seen it a few times in the backyard. It never got too far, though before Sam phased and knocked them off of each other. It was usually Paul versus whoever innocently spoke to him. The only fair fight was when it was Paul and Jacob. Sam tried not to get involved with it if he could help it.

"Yeah, every other day at least. Usually it's Paul."

Sarah glanced toward the living room. "I feel bad about him having to get a job that he doesn't want just to help me. I feel like I'm ruining his life."

I sighed and twirled the spoon around in my cup of coffee, looking into it. "You didn't ruin his life, Sarah. You didn't get yourself pregnant, you didn't ask for it, either. The only difference is, you can't hide from the truth like he's trying to."

Sarah rested her head her hand, looking at me sideways. "I just wish he'd quit calling me, well... the names he's been calling me. He knows I'm not like that. I'm still hoping he'll come around and maybe decide to try and be with me."

I reached across the table and rested my scarred hand on top of hers; the sun shining in from the window behind her was starting to get dimmer and dimmer by the minute. "You don't have to have Paul. If he doesn't want to be with you then you shouldn't try and force him to be. Your family will help you."

She nodded slowly, looking back at Paul, who was sitting very still on the couch. I watched him a second before I realized why he was being so still. He was listening in on us. Paul wanted to hear every word we said about him.

Sarah shifted around her chair slightly. "Is it okay if I use the bathroom?" She asked suddenly. I nodded and got , pointing at the small downstairs one.

"It's in there," I told her. Before the words were out of my mouth she was already shutting the door behind her. Must be sick, I decided as I got up and turned the lights on in the kitchen. It was pitch black outside now. The back door opened and slammed shut loudly. Jacob and Embry were standing there, looking sheepish.

"We thought maybe we could stop for dinner," Jacob admitted. Embry grinned at me and walked past into the living room.

"Where's Sam at?"

"Upstairs. He's not... he just wants some alone time for a little bit tonight," I explained. "And yes, there's enough for both of you. I made soup."

Jacob was looking around. "Who's here?" He asked, sniffing the air slightly.

The door opened up slowly to the bathroom, Sarah looked out from around the corner. "Emily?" She called out. I looked at Jacob before I walked through the living room toward the bathroom.

"What's wrong?" I asked her, peering in.

Sarah blushed slightly. "Could I borrow a shirt or something?" She asked. I noticed then that she'd taken hers off and it was in the sink. It took a moment to realize why.

"Sure, No problem I'll be right back. Don't worry." Poor girl, it was bad enough she pregnant and Paul was here being awful to her, now she'd gone and got sick all over herself. I went up the stairs quietly, not wanting to wake Sam. I pushed open the door to our room slowly. The only lights on in the room were coming from the Tv. I smiled slowly when I saw Sam, sitting up in the bed propped by pillows, watching Tv.

"What's wrong?" He asked softly.

"Nothing. Sarah just needed a shirt is all. She's sick," I explained as I dug through my drawers, looking for something that wouldn't be too form-fitting for her. She seemed to like wearing baggier things now.

"Oh. Do you want me to come down for a while?"

I shrugged, going over to the bed and leaning over him. "If you feel like it. I know you're tired. After everyone leaves, I can always come up, though and spend some time alone with you."

Sam smirked at me as he leaned up and kissed me gently. "Hmm… I think we could do both. I'll come down in a few, and then you can come up in a bit."

I rolled my eyes. "Of course you would want both, wouldn't you?" I teased him. I kissed his jaw lightly, trailing down his neck and bare chest. I paused at the top of his sweats, before kissing him lightly, knowing I was driving him crazy.

Sam sighed as I backed away, giving him "the look" as he'd come to name it and opened the door. "Later," I told him smiling seductively before I headed back down with the only sweater I could find that might be loose enough on Sarah. I knocked on the bathroom door; she opened it up a crack and took the sweater from me. I headed back into the kitchen, giving the boys a look, daring them to say anything.

Jacob was still in the kitchen, munching on odd and ends while Embry talked animatedly about some girl he'd met at school. Jacob listened for a while; I knew he was in deep thought about Bella. The past few nights they'd been tracking a mysterious vampire around the lines of the reservation and the Cullens' territory. Jacob was nervous it might be an old friend of theirs and might be looking for Bella. He'd begged Sam to let him at least call her and ask her, but Sam wouldn't relent on the matter.

Sarah came into the kitchen with her arms crossed over herself, looking shy as she said hello to the two boys. Jacob and Embry were nothing but friendly as they talked to her, asking her random things about school.

Embry flashed her a grin. "So, you really don't remember me asking you out last year?"

She laughed, flushing. "I remember. I just thought you were messing with me, like it was a dare or something from Quil."

Embry leaned toward her, still grinning. "You know, it's not too late to say yes."

I heard a low rumble of a growl in the living room. I gave Embry a warning look. "I don't think Sarah's going out with anyone for a while." Embry looked into the next room, frowning slightly. We all knew he'd just been joking around with Sarah.

Jacob cleared his throat loudly. "So, anyway… I hope Sam's up in time for patrol."

I started getting the bowls down so I could ladle soup into them for the boys. "He's up. Just resting. He won't get a chance to come home and sleep before heading to work after patrol tonight." I passed them their bowls, steam was rising up from them. "Paul? Jared? Come get yours," I called to them. They were up in a flash, crowding the kitchen as they all sat at the table together. "I'm taking Sam's up. I'll be right back," I told Sarah. I nodded toward Jake "Help yourself." I knew while I ran up, Jacob wouldn't let Paul mess with her.

I carried a huge bowl up along with a few grilled cheese sandwiches and a bottle of water. I nudged the door open with my foot and walked slowly across the room and sat the bowl down on the night stand. "Don't get too used to the room service," I told Sam as he sat up, smiling at me gratefully.

"I could have gone downstairs."

I pushed his hair back from his forehead. My fingers felt cold against his warm skin. "Its okay. I don't mind. I think they're leaving after they eat anyway. Sarah's mom will be back for her in an hour. She has an eight o'clock curfew now." I kissed his forehead. "I'll be back up." He nodded, his mouth full of the sandwich as I went downstairs yet again.

Sarah was eating, leaning against the counter while the boys sat down, laughing and talking loudly with each other. I frowned; they should have let her sit down. "Paul, move so Sarah can sit down. She doesn't need to be on her feet a lot." I ordered him, deciding that if someone had to move it should be him.

He scowled, but got up with his bowl. "Doesn't she spend enough time off of them?" He remarked. The pack was quiet as he leaned on the counter now, and Sarah sat where he'd been. She didn't look at any of them as she ate slowly. The girl looked close to tears. Paul's words had a major affect on her.

We all stayed there, eating and joking with each other. Sarah eased up again talking to the pack. To my glee they were obviously trying to make up for how Paul was acting. They'd be uncles after all, to the baby she carried. I saw headlights coming up the driveway through the window.

"I think your mom's here," I told Sarah, disappointed. We'd hardly got a chance to talk about the baby. Sarah leaned over and hugged me as she got her purse. "I have to work tomorrow but I'll call you and see when it's okay to come back if you don't mind." She looked at the pack. "I liked it here today."

I felt a warmth in my chest at her words. I'd found someone who could be my first friend here that knew the secret and liked spending time with all of us. "Anytime is okay. Just call me and I'll come pick you up. You don't need to walk here from town, okay?" I handed her the thick jacket she wore and then moved to get the small baby clothes I'd sewn for her.

As soon as I moved away from her, Paul slid up beside her, getting as close as he could. He whispered in her ear lowly, so quiet I couldn't make out what he was telling her. I saw her nod quickly, not looking at him but staring at the floor. I noticed then he wasn't just standing close to her. He had one hand on her arm, holding her close to him. When he saw me looking at him curiously he let go of her like he was touching hot metal and went hurriedly back to the pack.

Sarah gave me a small smile as she took the clothes from me. "Thank you for doing this for me," she said as she opened the door up. "You don't know how much it means to have someone I can talk to." I nodded, waving to her mom as I walked her out on the porch. I didn't want to ask what Paul had told her and risk her mom overhearing it.

"No problem. Come back soon."

I watched them drive off before I went back in and shut the door. The pack was placing their dishes in the sink one by one. Paul was standing closest to the door.

"I guess I'm going to go home for a while."

I waved them all off. "Go on, I'll clean up the mess. I'll tell Sam to meet up with in a little bit." To my joy they all started shuffling out, leaving me alone with Sam, who was still upstairs lounging.

I left the dishes where they were and went upstairs, flinging the door open and pouncing onto the bed. "I didn't think they'd ever leave," I murmured as he immediately pulled me down for a kiss.

"I didn't go down or they would have stayed even longer," he explained as he started undoing the buttons on my shirt one by one. I leaned back, watching his fingers as they moved down my shirt. I shoved his hands away and finally just jerked it open. His eyes looked surprised as I did the same with my bra.

"We have to hurry," I whispered to him. "They're expecting you out there in about half an hour." Sam nodded quickly, moving my hands from him and hurriedly took off the rest of his own clothing and mine.

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I laid there, still catching my breath as Sam moved from the bed, getting his sweats from the dresser where I'd tossed them in a hurry. "Be careful," I said softly.

He nodded turning to me "We'll be fine. It's only one vampire and there's a whole pack of us. I'm only going out to keep an eye and see how the new ones do." He leaned over the bed and kissed me sweetly. "She might not even be out there anymore or they would have howled for me by now."

I put my arms on him and tried to tug him back into the bed with me. "I know, but I just don't want you to get hurt." I knew why he was really going. If one of the others attacked the vampire and was losing to it, Sam wouldn't think twice of jumping in, putting himself in the danger instead of them. It was something he constantly did. He would rather be the one to do the riskier stuff than let them. Jacob could handle this, but Sam didn't want to stay back while they went without him.

"I won't get hurt, I promise. I have a wedding to go to, remember?" Sam said with a smile. I smiled back at him, pulling the blankets up around myself.

"I love you," I said softly as he started to go. He stopped at the door and looked at me, his eyes glazing over with the look of imprinting in them.

"I love you, too and I promise I'll be back. I'll stop by before I go to work in the morning." I blew him a kiss as he left. I heard him when he went out the front door and I could hear the lock sliding into place. I laid there for awhile, looking at my engagement ring, smiling to myself. I still had an entire wedding to plan. I didn't have a clue on how to start, though. Sarah was helping me with the traditional items I'd need to buy, but beyond that, I didn't know what else to do. Sam still had to go formally ask permission to marry me, too.

I got up slowly, pulling on Sam's shirt and going downstairs to finish cleaning up the mess I'd left down there. It would be a long night of waiting for me until Sam came home.

an-- Please please please review! it gives me motivation and I dont even have a start on ch 38 so I dont see any response form you guys I may just put this story on hold and finish my other one unless you guys let me know if youre still reading.


	38. Chapter 38

**a/n-- Allrighty.. heres another chapter, thanks everyone who reviewed and messaged me asking me to continue, its just kinda dragging out for me a bit now. Theres ao many ideas I have but its getting harder to get them out ya know? Anyways... thanks to mediate89 for betaing this for me. and remember, I own nothing but Sarah ((heheehee, I own you now!)) also, please review cuz it makes me feel nice to get them :D**

Chapter 38- Bad Luck

Sam and the others had left hurriedly a few minutes ago. Jacob's loud howl had cut through the early morning air loudly. I stood at the counter, adding fresh blueberries to the batter I was mixing up for muffins. I pushed up the sleeves on the lavender shirt I was wearing as I started dropping the batter into the pan, humming a song I'd learned from Sam that was a Quileute lullaby.

I looked up at the clock, wondering what was so important this early; the boys didn't usually meet up this time of the day. It was their spring break on top of it. They'd been occupying themselves chasing after the same vampire night after night, cliff diving, or in Paul's case, working at an actual job.

_Poor Sarah_, I thought to myself. She was starting to feel the miserable end of being pregnant. I'd been making tons of new little outfits for her to put up for the baby. Together, she and Paul had got almost everything ready so far. In a way I was still a bit jealous of her. On the other hand, I didn't want to be pregnant and go through all of that again just to lose another baby.

I shoved the pan into the oven and went upstairs to grab an armload of Sam's work clothes that needed to be washed and carried them back down and tossed in the washer. Sam rarely slept the past two weeks. It was like he didn't want to risk not being there if they finally caught the vampire. I didn't like the danger he kept putting himself in for the pack. He might be the alpha but he was mine, too.

I tossed the dirty mixing bowl into the sink and started getting the dozens of eggs out of the fridge when I heard the loud rumble of a truck. I frowned, peering out seeing Embry and Jared coming in laughing. I turned back toward the large bowl I was cracking eggs into.

"Hey, Emily" Embry called out loudly as he let the back door slam shut. I grabbed an oven mitt and turned around smiling.

"You guys, hungry?" I asked cheerfully. The smile left my face when I realized the two boys weren't alone. A medium sized, dark-haired girl was standing there, looking shy and out of place.

So this must be Bella. Or at least I was assuming she was. "And who is this?" I asked them, trying not to look put out by her.

"Bella Swan," Embry replied with a grin as he snatched one of the hot muffins from the pan. Bella was trying hard not to look at me. Jared must have told her not to stare.

"Are you the vampire girl?" I asked her, not knowing what else to say.

"Are you the wolf girl?" She shot back at me. I couldn't help but grin slowly. I hadn't thought of myself that way.

"I guess I am," I told her. "Are you hungry? Help yourself to a muffin." I motioned toward them as I moved back to the eggs, stopping to pop Embry. "Save some for your brothers," I chastised him. These boys would eat everything and not notice it and not even care if the rest of the pack ate. I picked up the whisk again to stir the eggs around when Sam came in. I felt the warmth spread through me when his eyes rested on me.

"Emily," he said as he crossed the room over to me, wrapping his arms around my waist. I was oblivious to the others as they came in behind him, still up from the fight they'd just had. I melted into Sam, savoring his taste when he pressed his lips against mine.

"Hey, stop it!" Jared said annoyed by our embrace. "I'm eating."

Sam kissed me again, not even looking away. "Then shut up and ea," he told him smiling slightly. I saw out of the corner of my eye, Bella watching us. As Sam leaned down toward me for one more kiss, she flinched and looked away.

We stood there a moment longer. "I need to start the eggs," I whispered to him. He nodded and finally pulled away, still keeping a hand on me as I stirred the eggs around in the large skillet. I tuned him out while they did their pack talk about whatever new information Bella had brought for them. I wasn't so sure if they should trust her right off. She seems nice enough, but still. Anyone who runs with vampires has to be kind of off. Then again, she probably thought the same thing of me for being with the pack.

I frowned when I heard Sam volunteering himself to be in the smaller group. I knew better than to even say anything right now, though. It wouldn't do any good, at least not until we were alone and I could really talk to him. It'd been a few days since we'd had time to sit down and catch up. I was planning the wedding without much input from him. At the rate Sam was going, I'd be lucky for him to even show up at it.

I looked up, meeting Bella's eyes, knowing she didn't like Jacob going in the smaller pairing, either. Something strange was going on there. He didn't imprint of her, but this was stronger than some school crush, I could tell. Jacob looked at her like he couldn't believe she was standing there in front of him. It was amazing to see so much emotion between two people who weren't imprinted.

I leaned there eating, watching the boys play fight and laugh with each other, getting pumped up for going back out on patrol and searching again for the vampire with their new info. I watched Paul a moment, noticing he was a bit more pumped than the others. The kid wasn't ever going to grow up.

The pack trickled out little by little, Jake leaving with his Bella. I tossed the dishes into the sink and filled it up with water. They could soak for a while. I looked out at the yard where Sam was moving a pile of wood around. I went outside, walking slowly to where he was.

"Just thought I'd get this out of your way," he explained as he tossed the last log. I shrugged, it didn't matter to me one way or another.

"So... I was wondering if you'd maybe talked to Sarah or Paul anymore about the baby," I asked bluntly. A tiny part of me was hoping that Sarah would decide to give the baby up and that Paul would go along with it. I wanted a baby bad enough that I'd adopt one.

Sam looked down at me, his eyes looked sad for a moment. "Yeah. Sarah's not giving that baby away, its all she has left of Paul. She thinks she has to have him or something. I don't know why though after what happened."

I frowned, letting the news sink in. I'd settle for being near then. I slid my arms around his waist and leaned my head on his chest. "What happened?"

Sam got a huge grin on his face much to my surprise. "Paul thought he was being sneaky last night when he was whispering to Sarah that he'd see her later. He actually went over to her house and slept with her knowing he'd just be an ass later to her. Sarah was just happy he was showing her some affection. Anyway, I got Jared to wait in the woods for Paul to phase and take off over there instead of doing his patrol and I got up early and went and waited for him. Paul's not too happy with me. I made him go talk to his parents. I thought he was fixing to have a heart attack or something."

I felt angry with Sarah now. Why would she let him use her like that? It was just plain wrong for her to start seeing him again after the horrible way he'd been treating her. "She shouldn't have done that. I can't believe she just... jumped into bed with him so easily."

Sam's hands were rubbing my back gently. "You know... I'm going to be out on patrol a lot more during the next couple of weeks." I nodded; I'd already figured that.

"That's fine. I won't stop you."

He kissed the top of my head lightly. "Just try to stay home, okay? I don't want you outside a lot while the redhead is on the loose like this." I nodded again and pulled my arms off of him.

"Let's go inside." I grabbed his warm hand and tugged him behind me into the small house. "So there's no chance that Sarah will change her mind? Or maybe her parents will?" I'd had my hopes up for that baby. I wanted it. I'd assumed since Paul wasn't helping her out much that she wouldn't want the baby on her own. I sat down on the couch and yawned, I'd been up since about six that morning messing around with the cleaning and doing laundry.

Sam got quiet for a while; I looked over at him as he got up from the other couch and came to sit down beside me. His arms wrapped around me. "I want to tell you something. Well… ask, I guess. I'm not sure, though and don't get mad at me, okay?"

I frowned, wondering what he'd done now. I looked into his eyes, they were losing the glazed over look as he started to speak. "I don't think you need to worry about adopting Sarah's baby. I think you're having one of your own," he said softly.

I shoved him away from me with as much force as I could muster. "That's not funny, Sam!" I snapped as I headed up the stairs, furious with him. He knew I wasn't having any babies anytime soon. Adopting a baby was different than actually carrying my own. I didn't trust myself to carry another baby after what had happened. I slammed the door to our room and went to the bed and curled up. I wasn't pregnant. Sam was being a jerk.

"Emily?" I heard him say as he knocked one time before he opened the door and came in. I turned on my side away from him.

"I don't want to talk to you," I snapped.

Sam sighed and I felt his weight drop beside me. "I know you don't but I'm not making it up. I can tell you're pregnant, I can hear another heartbeat in here and I can smell a change in you."

So now he was sniffing me and commenting that my scent had changed? "Maybe its one of the neighbors' hearts and maybe it's the new body spray I'm wearing," I compromised.

Sam's hand rubbed my side softly, back and forth. "I don't think so, Em. I think you're pregnant. I can already hear its little heart beating and I can smell a change in your blood. It's almost the same as last time. I didn't want to say anything because I was hoping you'd realize it and come to me."

I rolled over and looked at him, still partly angry. "But I can't be pregnant. I'm not supposed to be pregnant since I started taking my medicine like I was supposed to."

Sam shrugged, letting his hand rest on my stomach now. "You didn't take it like you were supposed to though, Emily. Not at first." That was true. I'd been in a daze for months now and wouldn't remember if I'd taken anything I was supposed to.

"Don't tell anyone, please... not until I see how it goes. I really don't think I'm pregnant, anyway. I'm not sick or anything like I was last time," I defended myself thinking back. I'd been sick but that been a few weeks ago. I would have noticed by now if I was pregnant.

"Do you want me to go buy you a test or something?" He asked slowly. I felt a surge of love for him. Only Sam would feel comfortable enough with going down to the pharmacy to get a pregnancy test in a town where everybody knew his name.

I nodded; I wasn't going to cry this time. Last time I'd sobbed for hours. "Please. I don't think I even need one."

Sam kissed my cheek softly as he got up and grabbed a shirt and put it on quickly. "I'll be back in a few minutes then."

I laid there on top of the bed without moving as I waited for him to come back. I was terrified at the idea of having to be pregnant again and be nervous that something bad would happen at every turn. I didn't think Sam really wanted to have another baby so soon, either. Now wasn't a good time. He was busy with the pack and I was busy with the wedding plans. A wedding he hadn't even gone to ask my hand for yet. It would be even worse if my parents knew I was pregnant before he asked. They'd assume we were getting married because of the baby.

I waited a few more minutes before I heard the front door slam and his heavy foot steps coming upstairs. I sat up slowly as he came in and handed me a bag. "Three?" I asked curiously. I didn't need three tests to tell me yes or no. I pulled one out and looked at it as I got up and headed to the bathroom. "I'll be back."

Sam nodded and sat down to wait patiently even though he was sure I was pregnant. I came back and put the test of the edge of the nightstand to wait the few minutes for it to change.

"Sam?" I asked, nudging him.

"Yeah, Em?" He smiled, his eyes gazing up at me like I was all he could see.

"Do you want me to be pregnant again?" I asked softly. I knew he'd tell me the truth. Sam couldn't lie to me. He didn't possess the stealth for it.

Sam sighed and wrapped an arm over my shoulders. "Yes and no. Yes because I want a baby with you, and I know you want a baby so badly you can't stand it. I want to have kids. But no because I know you wanted to get married before we went through this again. And I know what you're thinking everyone will say if you are pregnant and I don't think you should let it bother you."

I listened to him closely. So Sam did want a baby. "You won't be mad then?"

He shook his head and looked beside us on the nightstand. "Here," he said handing it to me. I took a deep breath as I looked down, bracing myself for disappoint either way. It was a pink double plus sign. I tossed it on the floor and hugged him tightly. New emotions flowed through me. I wouldn't cry, though. I couldn't let myself cry.

"I'm so sorry," Sam whispered to me, squeezing my waist as he pulled me onto his lap.

I laid my head down on his shoulder, letting it sink in. I was having a baby. "I don't want to have a baby," I whispered to him. "Not like this. I'll lose another baby and I can't handle it."

Sam ran his fingers through my hair. "You won't lose the baby this time, Emily. I'm just... sorry. I should have reminded you to take your pills. I just didn't think you'd get pregnant again so fast."

I took a deep breath, inhaling his scent. "It's okay. I'll figure something out. I just don't see how I didn't notice this." I was thinking back on the past couple of months, trying to pick out clues I'd ignored.

"It was easy not to. You've been busy, taking care of us and trying to do everything for me. I've been meaning to tell you not to cater and rush after me so much, too. I can do stuff for myself. Plus you've been worrying about Sarah and watching your sister's kids."

I nodded; I'd done a good job of keeping myself occupied. It meant I didn't have time to sit still and remember the bad parts of my life that happened. "I know. I just... I don't know. I don't want to make another mistake."

Sam pulled away from me and tilted my head up with his index finger. "You didn't do anything wrong when you lost the baby, Emily. It just happened. Now we have another chance and it's going to be fine. You're going to be a great mom." He kissed my chin and then my lips. "Don't worry."

I pushed my lips against his again; I was relieved that at least he wasn't mad or upset. "Please don't tell them," I whispered against his jaw.

Sam sighed "I can't keep it from them. They can sense and feel everything that I can. And they'll see it, anyway."

I leaned against him, trying to think of other things. If I didn't think about the baby then nothing bad could happen. "I liked Bella," I said, remembering Jacob's friend from this morning. "She's kind of shy, though."

Sam smiled faintly. "Bella is a good person, she's good for Jake. As long as her bloodsucker stays away." He kissed my forehead. "Speaking of bloodsuckers, I should go out on patrol with them."

I made a face as I unwrapped my arms from around him. "Fine. I'll expect you all in for dinner, though." I stood up from his lap, feeling sad that he was going. "Don't worry; I'll stay inside as much as I can."

Sam was taking off his shirt; he tossed it onto the dresser, kicking his shoes off next. He took off everything until he had only sweats left on. "Good. I'll run by here every so often to check on you." He started down the stairs with me following as fast as I could.

"Be careful. Don't do anything crazy, either," I told him, knowing the whole thing was crazy. Sam leaned down and embraced me one last time before he left. His warm mouth pushed itself onto mine, packing so much passion in a kiss that I grabbed onto him for support as he ran the tip of his tongue over my lips before kissing me one last time.

"I love you," he said releasing me. I gave him a smile.

"I love you, too. Just remember while you're out that you have a family to take care of now."

Sam nodded solemnly as he went out the back door heading to the woods to phase. I knew he'd be as careful as he could be. Sam wouldn't think twice about sacrificing himself for his pack though, I knew that. It was starting to get harder and harder to decipher my Sam from Alpha Sam.


	39. Chapter 39

**a/n-heres another chapter, thanks everyone who reviewed, id love to give a small shout to emolove(dana) cuz shes an avid fan :D and a big thanks to mediate89 for betaing this for me. Hope ya'll like it :D:D **

Chapter 39

I sang along with the radio loudly as I sat on the swing outside on the porch knitting. I was making a pink and blue blanket for the baby. I'd gone to my first appointment and found out that I was actually further along than me or Sam realized. I was already three months pregnant, amazingly.

I put the needles down and picked up my glass of tea and took a sip, looking out over the yard. I wanted to fix it up somewhat. I wanted a swing set in the front for the baby even though he wouldn't be able to use it yet. I wanted a few other things done as well, just to dress it up some. The boys phasing near the edge of it had the grass looking terrible.

I was waiting for my mom to get here; I'd called and told her I wanted to talk to her about a few things. We'd decided it wasn't such a good idea for Sam to ask permission after all; the answer would be no, anyway. I needed to tell her about the baby though and about the wedding. I was planning to have it during fall. Hopefully everything on the reservation would be settled down by then. Sam hadn't been in such a good mood lately. He was getting stressed out from trying to chase the same vampire for a month now.

It wasn't that stressful for me though. I lounged most days, flipping through wedding books and circling what I wanted. We'd decided to have everything outside, further in town at the center. I'd asked Leah to be my bridesmaid, along with Jade. Sam hadn't decided who his best man was going to be yet. He had too many to choose from.

I stood up when I saw my mom's Altima coming up the driveway. I waved as I walked down the steps, a smile on my face. "Mom," I said as I hugged her. She looked the same as always even though I hadn't seen her in a few months.

"Oh, Emily sweetheart, you have no idea how happy I was for you to call and invite me over to talk." She hugged me again, squeezing me before she let go. "It's lonely at home without you."

I nodded and led her inside the house motioning for her to sit at the table. I paused as I got a glass down. "Tea? Lemonade?" I asked her. She shrugged, showing she didn't mind either. I poured a glass and sat down, placing a plate of cookies on the table.

"You've became quite the housewife, haven't you?" She commented as she picked one up. "I talked to your aunt earlier; she said your Uncle Harry's not feeling so well lately. You should go over and visit him soon. It might cheer him up some." She bit into the cookie and chewed.

"I will as soon as I get a chance. I've been busy here; Sam sees the Clearwaters more than I do these days," I told her with a smile. "He's at work right now, that's why I thought it would be a good time for us to talk together."

Mom nodded and wiped her mouth off daintily. "I figured there must be something important you wanted to say or you would have said it over the phone."

I looked down the wooden floor for a moment, trying to work up some courage. I took a deep breath and exhaled. "Sam asked me to marry him," I finally said, holding my hand out to show her the ring.

She froze and looked at me, frowning. "Did he?" Se asked slowly. I nodded, not being able to tell if she was happy or upset yet. She finally reached over and turned my hand over, looking at the ring. "Well, he did a good job of picking that rock out," she said in a flat tone. "I'm guessing you've already told him yes?"

"I told him as soon as he asked," I told her, daring her to say something hateful.

My mom sighed and looked up to meet my eyes. "And Sam is what you want?"

I nodded "I love him," I told her simply.

"Then you have our blessing as long as you're sure he's what you want. I haven't been very open to you being with him but I guess if he's won your heart, we'll just learn to love him," she said softly, still holding my hand.

I smiled at her slightly. "Thank you." I couldn't believe things had gone this good. I'd expected her to yell, get angry and tell me it was a mistake. Or tell me that Sam wasn't worth anything. "I didn't think you'd take it this well," I told her, earning a laugh from her.

"I'm getting better at accepting this. The way you've decided to live and spend your time. I wish you two would consider moving closer to Makah, though."

I shook my head. "I would love to, but it's just not an option for Sam right now. He's needed here on the reservation in case something happens, or the council needs him. Plus his boys show up when they need him."

My mom sighed as she sipped her tea again. "You have more patience than I do to be mother to a pack of teenage boys when you're barely of age yourself."

I laughed at her as I got up from the table and went to the laundry room; I grabbed what I wanted and came back out. "I wanted to show you something." I handed her the small blue overalls I'd made from fabric I'd bought in town.

She held them up, looking them over. "You did a good job with the stitches. Are you selling these things or making them for someone?" She asked, folding them up again.

I smiled at her as I picked them back up from the table. "I'm making them for me." I watched her face carefully for her reaction.

"I thought there was something different about you. A glow, I guess," she said looking me over to see if I was showing any. "How far?"

I shrugged as I refilled her glass. "Only 13 weeks right now. I still have awhile to go. I only found out last week. I wanted to tell you in person instead of over the phone."

She nodded taking the glass back from me. "Is Sam happy about this?"

I laughed at her, if only she knew exactly how happy Sam was about the baby. It was me that wasn't so happy. "He's excited. I think more excited about it than I am."

My mom dug into her purse until she pulled out a small pad and pencil and started writing. "We have a lot to do with the wedding and the baby all at the same time. What date did you have in mind?"

I thought on it, I knew I wanted a fall wedding but the baby would be due around then also. I didn't know if I wanted to be nine months pregnant on my wedding day or tired from being a new mom. "The fall- I guess November. The baby's due in October," I said finally after thinking it over. "I'll just have to finish my dress a little bit looser than I need it now in case I gain a lot."

She scribbled some more down. "Have you thought any on the theme or setting?" Now came the hard part. Telling her I was getting married the Quileute way.

"Actually... everything's going to be traditional. I'm making my dress from skins, and we're doing a lot of it outside. I wanted to get married with the Quileute traditions since Sam's kind of important in the tribe. I thought it'd be unsettling if we didn't." I bit my lip, waiting for the tirade to start. Instead, she nodded and wrote that down too.

I watched on as my mom made notes and asked more questions before realizing how late it was. "Oh! I forgot. Your dad's probably wondering where I'm at. I told him I'd be back by four," she exclaimed, grabbing her pieces of paper and standing up. "Now don't hesitate to call me if you need anything, okay?"

I nodded walking her to the door. "I'll be fine. Sam should be back soon, we're going to tell Helen next."

"I'm sure she'll be just as happy as I am. I'll tell your dad tonight, sweetheart. Give Helen my number if she decides to help plan anything. This is too much for you to do on your own in your condition." She paused by her car now, smiling at me proudly.

I backed away slowly. "It's not a stress for me to do it; I just have to get everything together at the same time." She nodded and waved as she started getting into the car.

"I'll call you tonight, Em!" She called out as she shut the door. I waved at her as she drove off down the driveway.

The phone was ringing off the hook when I go to the house. I ran to grab it. "Hello?" I said cheerfully. The smile dropped from my face as I heard someone sobbing on the other end.

"Emily, Harry's in the hospital, he's had a heart attack," I heard Billy's voice say. "We need Sam to get over here. You too to help with the kids." I nodded, not realizing he couldn't see it.

"O-okay," I mumbled and hung up as the tears started to fall from my eyes.

My Uncle Harry. The only person who tried to help me when my family turned their backs on me was in the hospital dying. I leaned down against the wall and let myself slide down it onto the floor as I cried. I should have gone to see him more. I should have offered to go fishing with him. I should have spent more time with him, showing him how much I appreciated what he'd done for me and Sam.

_Poor Leah, poor Seth,_ I thought as I cried harder. Leah had had enough hardship this year. Seth was just a kid, he needed Harry. And Aunt Sue. Sue wouldn't know what to do without him. I sat there weeping until the door opened and Sam came in hurriedly.

"Emily?" He called out before noticing me on the floor. Jacob was behind him. "What happened?" He asked quickly as he dropped to the floor beside me.

I wrapped my arms around him, sobbing onto his shoulder. "H-Harry had a heart attack. And Billy called and wanted us to go. A-a-and I don't know what to do."

Sam patted my hair holding me against him. "Shh... he'll be okay, Em. I'm sure he will be. You need to pull it together though, okay? Your family needs you right now." I nodded against him, knowing it was true. "Come on, get up and you can take the truck over there to the hospital. I'll meet you there as soon as we find Bella." I nodded again as he stood me up. "Calm down, honey, its okay. You can't get too upset right now, alright? It's not good for you or the baby."

Jake stared for a moment before looking away as Sam pressed his mouth against mine. "Come on. Let's go." I followed them out, feeling like a robot as I got into the truck. I started it and backed out and drove, not even realizing where I was going until I ended up at the hospital a few minutes later, much to my amazement. I got out and went inside, spotting my family at once in the waiting room. I went to my aunt and hugged her tightly.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered to her as she hugged me back tightly.

"We're waiting to hear the news, they won't let us in there yet," she said softly as we pulled away. I glanced around the room, I saw Leah and Seth sitting there crying. I went to Seth first and hugged him.

"It'll be okay," I whispered to him, he nodded his head sadly hugging me back.

I looked at Leah hesitantly before hugging her. "He'll be fine," I told her softly. She looked at me with hurt eyes, glaring at something past us. I turned and saw Sam coming in, Old Quil behind him.

"You two should leave," she said angrily. "If dad wasn't always being bothered with whatever it is Sam bugs him about all the time, he wouldn't have been so stressed out." I let go of her and backed away. I didn't know what to say. Sam came to me, hugging me.

"What's the latest?" He asked. I shrugged "We don't know yet. They won't let anyone in to see him." He glanced at the doors, keeping an arm around me as we waited in silence for awhile before a nurse came out. "Two family members at a time. He doesn't have much longer, now is the time to say your goodbyes."

We all started crying at the same time, trying to comfort one another. Sue and Seth went first; they came out after a few minutes, crying together. "Leah, Emily, he wants you two next," Sue said choked up as she cried. I nodded and got up, following Leah into the room where one of the greatest men I knew lay dying.

"Leah," he said hoarsely. "I want you to forgive Emily. She's your cousin. Your sister. You're both my family and you'll only have each other." I glanced at Leah, she had a calm mask on and tears ran silently down her cheeks. "I love you both," he whispered, shutting his eyes.

I stood there, holding my uncle's hand a while longer as he requested Sam come next. Sam hurried into the room, his black eyes looking hard. "You're a good son. A good man. Look after my family. I know you'll take care of them," he said to Sam. Sam nodded, looking like he wanted to cry as he watched the man who'd been a father to him in so many ways die before him. We stayed a few minutes longer in there before leaving, still crying.

Leah looked at us as we came out, holding onto each other. I felt a cool hand touch me and looked up, my mom was standing there. "Don't get too upset, sweetheart. You can't give into all this at once. You'll make yourself sick and it'll hurt baby." I nodded, knowing it was true. I'd lost one before; I didn't want to lose another from this strain.

Leah bolted from her chair and took off, tears streaming down her face just as my mom said the word _baby_. Seth ran after her, calling her name.

I looked up at Sam, who was staring after them. "I didn't want her to find out like this," he said softly.

We sat there for a few minutes longer, until the doctor came out, bearing the bad news to us.

Harry was gone.

******************************************************************************

I fell down onto the bed, tired physically and emotionally. Sam had left not long after we'd heard the news, taking Billy home and going to check on the pack. He hadn't come back yet. I didn't bother to change my clothes as I collapsed. My eyes were swollen and red from all the crying I'd been doing. My Uncle Harry really was gone for good. I buried my face into my pillow and shut my eyes as I lay there.

I wanted Sam to come back. He'd been gone for hours now. I needed him here with me. I pressed my hands over my abdomen as I lay there, listening for any signs of Sam coming in. I stayed still for hours more, daylight coming in through the window as I lay there awake, unable to fall asleep. I heard the door shut softly and sat up quickly, staring at the door frame for Sam to appear.

"Emily," he said softly, looking me over. I stared back into his eyes as he came toward me, wrapping me in an embrace, pushing his mouth over mine roughly. I held onto him tightly as he kissed down my neck, to my collar bone before hurriedly pulling my pajama bottoms off. I undid his pants quickly; there was a passion that hadn't been here before as he pulled me back to him again.

I gasped out in shock as he hurriedly shoved into me. Both of us grasped each other for a moment as we adjusted to each other. "I love you so much," he mumbled into my ear as we made love, only moaning and whispering _I love you's_ to each other.

I nestled into him, letting his body warm my face. "What took you so long?" I asked softly, tracing circles onto his chest.

He grabbed my hand, stopping it and pulled away from me so that he could look me in the eye as he spoke. "I have two new members of my pack now," he said flatly.

I frowned, wondering who it could be. "Who?" I asked, racking my brains for kids that had been showing the classic signs.

Sam cleared his throat loudly. "Seth. And Leah," he said, looking pained as he said Leah's name. I sat up, jerking the sheets around myself. "Leah phased after she left last night, Seth got so upset when he saw her that the same happened to him. I felt it when they phased. That's why I didn't come back. Seth calmed down about two hours later. Leah, well... Leah's still not back to normal yet. I had to leave, she wouldn't listen to me."

I listened, a surge of emotions running through me now. Leah. Leah was a member of Sam's pack now, able to hear his thoughts and see his memories. It was an intrusion, like I'd never be able to let my guard down. "I thought only the males could phase."

Sam shrugged, looking tired as he lay there. "I thought so too. That's what the legends say. Unless there's something wrong with Leah." I thought about that. Sam had imprinted on me because I gave him the best chance to carry on the wolf gene, because _I_ could have his children, not Leah. "She flipped out even more when she realized who I was. She accused me of doing this to her, that I made her like this. And that she hated me."

I moved further away from him. "Why does it bother you that she hates you?" I asked slowly. I knew he hadn't meant for the conversation to take this turn. It bothered me though, hearing how upset he was over Leah's rage.

Sam's eyes flew to me, looking worried now. "No, Emily. Not like that. It bothers me because I don't want any of my pack to hate me because of this." He reached for my hand, which I moved from his.

"Jacob hated you. So did Paul at first. You weren't that upset over it. Not like this and you didn't stay out all night with them either," I said accusingly as I stood up, grabbing my clothes.

Sam got up too, following after me. "Emily, it's not any different. Leah's in my pack now. She might hate me now but she won't after a while."

I whirled around, my eyes flashing. "It is too different. I don't want her here. I don't want her to like you again. I don't want you to be worried if she hates you or not." I pushed on his chest with the last word, shoving him back a few inches.

Sam's eyes were pleading as he spoke, he didn't try to grab my hand again. "I can't just ignore her. It doesn't work that way."

"Fine. Then choose- your pack member or me," I snapped as I slammed the bathroom door in his face. I sank down against it, crying again. I couldn't handle Leah in Sam's head. Them patrolling together. Them always with each other, sharing something I didn't with him. I didn't want her to phase in front of Sam. I certainly didn't want him to phase in front of her. More importantly, I was worried of him staring at her. I knew she was beautiful, something I wasn't. I knew her skin wasn't scarred and mangled like mine was. I also knew that Sam and Leah had loved each other long before I came into the picture. I knew they had lost their virginity to each other, and that bothered me too. I'd lost mine to Sam, but he'd lost his to her.

I hugged my knees to my chest. Leah was in pain from losing her father, but she couldn't have my Sam. She'd have to find another way to comfort herself. I sat there, knowing Sam was on the other side of the door. It bugged me too, that after being with Leah all night, he'd come home and made love with me. It was like I was just a way to release the thoughts he'd had of her all night long. I felt used.

I stood up and turned the shower on, locking the door. I didn't want to see him right now. I turned the water on as hot as I could stand it, using it wash away Sam's kisses. It felt wrong to have any trace of him on me right now. I got out, pulling a towel around myself and unlocking the door, peering out little by little. I went quickly into our room; he was sitting on the bed staring at me.

"I don't want her," he said tonelessly.

I shrugged and picked out a pair of black dress pants and a matching long-sleeved cotton t-shirt. It wasn't a day to wear anything cheerful for more than one reason. "It doesn't matter. She wants you," I said simply as I turned away from him to dress. I pulled on my clothes in a hurry. Tugging at the shirt a bit. I grabbed the towel and started rubbing my hair with it.

"But I'd never take her back. You know I wouldn't," he pleaded.

"I don't care, Sam. She'll still be in your thoughts, making you think about what you would have had with her," I said glaring. I ran a brush through my long hair, jerking the knots out of it. "Leah will always want you. I'm not dealing with your little love spat with her anymore. Its time to make a choice. Are you my fiancé or their alpha? You can't have both anymore."


	40. Chapter 40

**a/n--thanks for all the reviws last chapter, you guys rock. Thanks mediate89 for betaing this for me. awesome job.... **

Chapter 40

I clutched Sam's arm as we walked to the truck after the funeral, we'd said our last good byes today. I was dressed in black from head to toe; I'd taken Leah's place with Sue. Leah was still in so much angst that she couldn't phase back normally.

I held onto him tightly as we passed by the other tribe members, all of them watching us. I stood while he opened the door to the truck for me silently, and closed it after I climbed in daintily. I wiped underneath my eyes, brushing tears away. Sam got in his side, starting the truck, turning the radio off.

We rode in silence for a while until he finally asked. "Are you hungry?"

I nodded my head quickly. I was starving. "Please... if you don't mind stopping," I told him quietly. Sam nodded back at me, looking straight ahead.

Sam was mad at me. He was so upset that he didn't even know how put it into words right now. I'd made him choose between me and his pack. He'd chosen me and it was killing him to stay away from them. I wasn't willing to budge on the subject though. I honestly felt uncomfortable with him around Leah. I felt like she was a threat to me.

I sniffed a bit as he pulled up through the drive thru, ordering food for both of us. He handed me the plastic bag as we left and I immediately dug through it, grabbing a taco and passing the bag back to him. I devoured it, eating it in five bites. My nerves were terrible, and that combined with being pregnant was causing me to eat like crazy.

Sam grabbed one and ate while he drove. It was killing me for him to ignore me like this. I hated that I made him pick, but I didn't hate that he wouldn't be near my rival in such a personal manner. I stared out at the trees as we neared our house. It looked like it might rain today. I noticed.

I got out of the truck slowly, looking up at the sky as I went in. Sam tossed his keys noisily onto the counter as we both kicked our shoes off at the door. I glanced over at him; his mouth was in a tight line as he headed upstairs, probably to change. I thought about following him and decided against it, sitting on the couch instead. I laid back, flipping through the channels.

I heard Sam's footsteps coming back down and I turned and lifted my head up, watching as he poured himself a glass of tea and then came into the living in his sweatpants and socks. "Is the pack coming today?" I asked him softly. I wasn't sure if he'd answer me or not.

"I don't know," was his short reply. He leaned back in the recliner, staring intently at the TV.

I frowned and laid my head back down on the couch cushions. I looked at the TV, not even seeing what was on it anymore. I hoped he didn't last long with this. I wanted him to talk to me sweetly, to hold me, to kiss me.

I glanced at the door, someone knocked once. A moment later it swung open and Jake came in, looking depressed. He sat down on the loveseat, not saying a word. He nodded to me, and then looked at the TV. We all sat there for an hour in complete silence, not even looking at one another until Embry let himself in. Embry plopped down beside Jake, looking at us.

"What's gotten into you guys?" He asked finally. I shrugged, Sam shot him a dirty look and Jake scowled. "Sorry. I won't ask again," he apologized quickly. "Sam, who do you want to do patrol tonight?"

Sam shrugged carelessly. "Ask Jake," he said gruffly.

Jake glared at Sam for a moment. "I guess Paul. Tell him to leave Sarah alone tonight. She'll be okay. Jared can go with him. I might come out too. Don't have anything better to do."

I looked over at Jacob. "What happened to Bella?"

He sighed. "She went to find her bloodsucker."

"She left?" I asked, wondering why Bella went to find the leech. She obviously liked Jacob a lot, Imprinted or not, I could tell there was a lot between them.

He nodded, looking depressed again. "Yeah. It's fine. I don't care. I'll be okay or something. She chose him."

Sam looked at Jacob curiously as he spoke. "It doesn't bug you?"

Jacob shrugged his shoulders. "I guess so. I don't want to talk about this right now."

Embry leaned back into the sofa "I guess I'm going home then. My mom wanted me home tonight, anyway." He yawned as he stood up and stretched. "Oh yeah, Leah phased back again earlier. This time she didn't try to attack us so much. Seth got her home and all. We tried waiting for you, but you know..." he trailed off.

"It's fine." Sam said curtly, glancing at me. I kept an unreadable expression on my face as Embry's eyes flashed to me. "I'll see you later," he told him. Embry nodded and left, shutting the door behind him. Jacob stretched out on the couch, the three of us settling back into silence for the evening.

We continued in silence for the next few days with Sam only leaving for work. He came back, ate, took a shower and went straight to sleep. The pack stopped in all throughout the night, talking to him about things. Sam just nodded and answered their questions. They didn't seem to notice he hadn't done a patrol in a week, though. He still phased once a day for a few minutes, I knew he didn't want to start aging yet, not until I caught up to him. It was considerate but irritating still. It was his phasing that we were fighting about.

********

I went to the door and opened it for my mom, it was pouring outside. She rushed in, hugging me tightly. "Hey sweetie," she greeted. I took the umbrella from her and closed it, leaning it by the door.

"I didn't think you were coming anymore with it pouring," I told her as we went to the living room. I sat down on the couch and turned the Tv to mute.

"Of course I was still coming. I wanted to show you these invitations," she said excitedly, digging around in the huge tweed bag she'd brought with her. "I've been finding odds and ends for you, I figured the wedding is Quileute, but the reception can be made up nice with white and pink flowers everything. Daddy and I want to pay for that of course."

I studied the invitations, looking at them. I didn't even know if I should pick any out. With my luck, Sam would say 'I don't' instead of 'I do'. "I like this one," I told her, handing her a simple gold-trimmed one. "I don't want them to be too fancy."

She nodded and paper-clipped that one to what she wanted them to read. "I figure we'll need... oh, what... three-hundred?"

I thought on it. The entire reservation would show up, or most of it. "Order two hundred, I'll put an ad in the paper. There are too many people to mail invitations too. Everyone's going to want to be there from the tribe, to see their kind of chief getting married."

My mom scribbled some stuff down. "And I picked these up for the baby shower invites," she pushed a card with ducks on it to me. I smiled down at it.

"That's adorable," I told her. I had an appointment for an ultrasound to see what sex the baby was in a week and a half. I wasn't sure if Sam was going or not. It would require him to acknowledge me after all.

"Have you talked to Leah since the funeral?" She asked bluntly.

I shook my head quickly. "No. Not after the way she acted at the hospital. I just don't want her near right now," I told her, knowing it sounded stupid out loud.

My mom started picking her stuff back up and putting it into the bag. "Because of Sam?"

I nodded slowly. "Kind of. I just don't like them so close to each other," I explained.

"You know, Em… they always say keep your friends close, and your enemies closer," she said slyly, giving me a glance.

I thought on it. Pushing Leah from Sam might make her want him more and it meant she could get up to no good behind my back. Having her close though, as good friends again, meant I'd know every move she made. "Thanks for advice," I told her, smiling. "I'll take that into mind."

I walked with her to the door, it had calmed down outside. "I'll see you next week, sweetie. I'm bringing by a list and some pictures of flowers for you to look at it," she said pausing at her car.

I nodded. "Sounds fine. I'll be home, I'm sure." I waved to her as she got in and left. I went back inside and sat on the couch, thinking this over. Leah as a "friend" meant she wouldn't be as temped to deceive me. I could push her toward one of the pack members too. The wheels turned in my head, thinking this over until Sam came in. I watched as he stood at the door, unzipping his greasy overalls and taking them off there instead of spreading the filth throughout the house. I bit my bottom lip, wondering if now was a good time.

"Sam? Can I talk to you?" I said before I could chicken out. He nodded hesitantly and came over and sat beside me, not speaking. I turned to him, trying to get up the courage to say this. It was going to take swallowing a big lump. "I think I was wrong. I shouldn't have asked you to choose between me and the pack. It was incredibly selfish of me. The pack is a part of who you are, and the boys are lost without you."

Sam nodded again, finally looking at me directly for the first time since the hospital. "What gave you this change of heart?" He said after a while.

I looked down at the floor, I'd already thought of how to answer this too. "It's not right. Asking you to put me before the tribe and the pack like this. It's not right to distrust you like this when you haven't done anything wrong since we've been together."

Sam swallowed hard and scratched the back of his neck. "You're not going to get jealous of Leah being in my pack?"

I shook my head. "No. I just have a few things to ask of you considering her, though." I looked up at him, his eyes looked longing as they searched my face. "I don't want you alone on patrol with her ever. I don't want you to phase in front of her, or her in front of you. And I don't want you two touching, hugging or anything like that. Nothing you wouldn't do with any other pack member, and definitely no reminiscing about the time you had with her."

Sam nodded his head, agreeing. "Fine. Those are reasonable conditions. I can understand why you're uncomfortable, I guess. I don't understand why you assume I'd be disloyal automatically, though. I would never dream of cheating on you with anyone ever."

"I know. It's just... jealously between two women. You wouldn't understand it. I trust you. I'm sorry I made you think I didn't trust you more than that," I whispered softly to him. "I don't want you to be mad at me again. We have too much to look forward to with each other right now."

He wrapped me in his arms in one quick motion, hugging me tightly. "You're all I have to look forward to. You having my baby. You becoming my wife. More importantly, you promising to never jump to conclusions again."

I wrapped my arms around his warm body, breathing in his scent- only grease and cologne, no woodsy smell. "I promise. I feel bad, I really do. I'd feel even better if you'd go out for a while, and then bring the pack back with you."

Sam kissed the side of my face, the scarred side, and then my lips. "It's going to feel great, phasing again, coming home and being with you without the tension."

I smiled at his excitement and kissed his jaw. "You'd better go before it gets too late. I think you're going to have to be unavailable tonight." I hugged him again before we pulled apart. "I'll have dinner by the time you guys get back, okay?"

He nodded and stood up excitedly, going to the door and stripping down. "I'll be back soon," he promised as he left at a run toward the woods, his body quivering. A moment later, the black wolf inside of him came out, howling into the air.

I went to the kitchen, pulling out a large pan and putting it on the counter as I started washing off pieces of meat and placing them in the glass dish. I'd do it simple- bake the chicken and bake the potatoes in the oven. I seasoned everything, setting the timer. It'd be good to have my boys home for dinner. Well, boys and girl. Leah wasn't exactly someone I felt the need to care for like the boys were, though. I was especially looking forward to seeing Seth.

I grabbed the cordless and went into the living room to sit down, dialing my cousin. Tomorrow was Sam's day off, it'd be nice to get the girls and take them to the beach. I knew Jade could use a break. I talked with her for a few minutes, deciding that she'd drop both girls off. Izzie was two years older than Claire; Claire was the baby of the family.

I'd watched her several times when she was a baby; Sam loved both kids to pieces. The pack was usually the entertainment for the girls, giving them piggyback rides and playing peek-a-boo.

I yawned, looking up at the clock. It'd been almost an hour, dinner would be done soon, and then I could go back to bed.

I got up as the pack noisily started coming in the back door, laughing and joking with each other. "We thought you were keeping him prisoner," Jared joked as he sat down at the table. I rolled my eyes as I took the heavy pans out of the oven and started fixing eight plates.

Leah was standing uncomfortably in the back, Seth beside her. This was their first pack dinner. "You two can sit down wherever," I told them with a small smile.

Sam was eyeing me from the table, watching my interaction with them. I didn't speak another word to Leah, though. I just sat down beside Paul after everyone had their food, asking about Sarah. Paul was more than happy to fill me in on the details of his baby. He'd had a major change of heart a week ago, apparently. Now he was completely in love with the mother of his child, even though I could tell he was terrified behind the happiness. I sent an invitation with him to Sarah, asking her to come over as soon as she felt better. I could use a friend.

The pack left one by one, Jared going to Kim's, Jacob going to see if Bella had called him back yet -they'd made up too- and Embry heading to patrol. Quil was going to his grandfather's, and Seth and Leah were heading home. I nodded a silent goodbye to them as they left, I didn't want to make it look like I was going to be overly friendly to her. I shut the door as the last one left, locking it. Sam stretched out as he stood up from the table, carrying plates to the sink. He started rinsing them off as I gathered the rest of them and started putting them in the dishwasher I rarely used. I wiped off the counters, neither of us speaking. I wasn't sure what to say, I didn't know if we'd made up completely or not.

Sam washed his hands off. "I'm going to get a shower," he said quietly. "I'll see you upstairs." I nodded to him, smiling a bit as he went upstairs, grabbing a towel off the top of the basket on the couch.

I stayed downstairs, cleaning the kitchen before turning out the lights and going up the stairs as quietly as I could. I pushed open the doors; Sam was standing there getting dressed. I grabbed my pink and white striped pajamas and changed into them, frowning at my newly bulging belly. "I guess I should go shopping," I muttered as I crawled into the warm bed.

Sam glanced at me. "Might as well get it over with. You're not that big yet, though." He sank down beside me, yawning.

"I'm starting to show more and more, though. I'd rather have something loose than something tight," I told him, rolling over onto my side so that I could look at him.

Sam turned the Tv down, looking over at me. "The pack's coming over to do some stuff tomorrow. You could go then."

I frowned slightly. "I cant. I'm getting the girls from Jade. I figured she could use a break and I could use the practice."

He nodded. "Yeah, I guess so. At least we'll have the back-up sitters handy." I laughed at him; the boys were cool playing with the girls until they needed diapers. "I'm tired," he said sleepily. I nodded and pulled the blankets up to myself; Sam shoved them back down and instead pulled me toward him.

"You don't need them," he mumbled.

Sam hadn't held me in days. I smiled to myself as he drifted off; I had my Sam back now.

********

I grinned as Claire toddled around the house, insisting that she was helping me clean. She was carrying a much too big broom and dust pan around. Izzie was stirring the cookie batter for me; we were making chocolate chip cookies for the pack when they came in for their afternoon break. The work Sam had them doing was painting our house and clearing away what he called "brambles" in the yard. Basically, he had free slave labor and was taking advantage of it.

"Claire want," Claire said, pointing up to Sam's porcelain wolf figurines. "Pweese?"

I shook my head quickly and pushed then back onto the entertainment center. "No. Uncle Sam won't like that too much, Claire. Why don't we help Izzie make the cookies for the boys?"

She pouted, giving me a puppy dog-eyed look. I shook my finger at her "Uh-uh. Not working this time. Come on and I'll give you some crackers, too."

She brightened as I picked her up, balancing her on my hip and taking her into the kitchen. I sat her on top of the counter as Izzie dropped spoonfuls of batter onto the baking sheets. "Good job, Izz. I'm sure these are going to turn out wonderfully," I praised her, making her smile. I put the sheets into the oven and set the timer. "Let's go have some juice and crackers and change Claire's diaper while we wait, okay?"

Izzie nodded and took off skipping into the living room where I had Claire's bag. She got a diaper out and handed it to me, waiting patiently as I changed the baby. I lifted Claire back up into my arms. "Do you want to color?" I asked them.

Claire looked at Izzie who nodded then nodded her little head too. She was easily one of the cutest little girls I'd ever laid eyes on. Claire had glossy brown hair in curls, and the cutest dimples. I got up and got out the coloring books I'd bought for them and crayons and went to check the cookies. The kids were wearing me out. I'd had plans to take them to the beach when Sam got done, I wasn't sure if I'd make it anymore though. I grabbed an oven mitt and took the cookies out, setting them on a rack to cool.

I went back into the living room and helped them color for a few minutes while the cookies cooled. Claire munched on her goldfish; her little eyelids were getting droopier and droopier. "Do you two want to help me?" I asked cheerfully. Izzie nodded quickly.

"Yes ma'm."

I paused and called out the door loudly. "The cookies are ready." I knew the pack could hear me. I led the girls into the kitchen and started putting the cookies on plates. "Let's pass these around to the boys when they come in, okay? They need a snack too."

Izzie carefully carried hers into the living room where most of the pack had come in, sweaty and half clothed. They thanked her in happy, cheerful voices, telling her how good they were. Claire walked wobbly with hers, stopping every few steps and glancing at me. I smiled at her motioning for her to go, that is was okay. She toddled a few more steps before getting a boost of confidence and taking off at a fast walk, tripping over the step between the kitchen and the living room. "Oh!" I exclaimed, not realizing I was scaring her more than she has scared herself.

The back door opened suddenly, making me jump. Quil came in, his head down. He looked up smiling at me, then his eyes cut to little Claire, whose lip was wobbling as I helped her pick up the fallen cookies. I lifted my head just in time to catch the look he had on his face. He was staring at Claire intently, a clouded haze forming over his brown eyes. They glazed over completely as he took a step toward her. I felt shock jolt through me when I recognized the look. I snatched Claire up, panicking. As I picked her up, she turned to Quil and let out a wail, holding her chubby arms out.

"Sam!" I shouted, feeling panicked.

"Sam! I need you!" I yelled moving a few steps back from Quil as he moved toward us again, holding his arms out for the crying baby. Sam appeared around the doorway, he caught sight of Quil looking like he was in a daze as he tried to get Claire from me. The rest of the pack was silent in the living room as they had got up to see what was wrong. "He... he..." I stuttered over Claire's wailing. Sam's face darkened as he shoved Quil out of the house, making him snap out of it.

"No... It's okay... I just want to hold her. Please don't make me go. Let me see her," he begged as Sam herded him out. Claire screamed louder as Quil was moved from her sight.

"Claire want!" She shouted, hitting me with her little fists. I looked at the pack; they were staring after Quil and Sam.

"What the hell just happened?" Paul finally asked.

Jared frowned, looking at Claire. "I think Quil…" He stopped there shaking his head. "It's too creepy to even say."

I peeked through them, checking on Izzie. She was sitting in front of the Tv watching cartoons much to my relief, no one was staring at her. I kissed the side of Claire's face, rubbing her back as she wept. "Claire want to go too," she whined, struggling against me.

I shook my head. "No. Uncle Sam will be right back. Then you can go." She frowned, tears running down her chubby cheeks. The pack settled back into the living room, I noticed Seth looking at me worriedly. I nodded at him; he looked exactly the way I felt. He didn't want his little cousin imprinted on either.

I paced back and forth for ten minutes before Sam came in with a stern look on his face. Quil kept his head down, not looking at his brothers as Sam gently took Claire from me. Her cries were ending as she reached for Quil. "Its okay. Let him take her," he told me, passing Claire to Quil. I frowned, not liking this. Quil wrapped his arms around the little girl, who had calmed completely by now.

"Hey, Claire-Bear. I'm Quil," he said softly to her as he sat down on the couch, holding her. Sam looked over the pack, his eyes daring them to say anything negative.

"Another brother's imprinted," he said simply.

Jacob frowned looking at Quil; Seth looked uncomfortable as he too looked at them. Claire was nestled down against Quil's chest, her eyes shutting contently.

I glanced up at Sam; he mouthed the word _later_ to me. I nodded and looked back at the now sleeping Claire. Quil kissed the top of the little girl's head, making Paul snicker loudly. Quil shot him a death glare "It's not like, man," he growled lowly.

Jared's jaw tightened. "How is it, then? I certainly don't see Kim as a two year-old. Sam doesn't see Emily like that."

Quil reddened under his dark skin as he shifted Claire in his arms. "I just want to... protect her, be her brother or something. I don't have... creepy thoughts or anything like that," he explained.

Sam nodded quickly. "He doesn't. I saw it through his eyes. Claire is a sister to him right now until she grows up. You should all be happy he's found his other half. It just proves how rare and unusual this is for us."

The pack grew silent and still again as they took this into consideration. I never heard them say anything creepy about Quil imprinting on Claire again.

**a/n-- review!! please!! :(**


	41. Chapter 41

**a/n--Okay so heres another chapter, someone asked when I was going to end this story and I honestly have no clue, as of now, I have no ending planned anytime soon, theres still alot I want to get out. Big thanks to everyone who reviewed for me, I loved loved getting them all :D another thanks to mediate89 for being my beta, and a shout out to liljenrocks, you guys need to go check out her story, youll love it I swear. And if you havent read it, go read geez calm paul by yay4shangai, ill be doing a chapter of it and im mega excited over it. anyways... hope you like this one!!**

Chapter 41

I glanced next to me at Sam. He was looking impatient as we sat in the waiting room at the clinic in Forks. Today was my ultrasound, we'd find out what the baby's gender was. Sam was hoping for a girl. He'd confessed that he'd prefer a daughter to a son; he didn't want to chance a son carrying his wolf gene. And he'd decided that he liked the pink frills and lace and doll ideas. My fiancé was a softie.

Sam sighed as he looked at the clock. "I wish he'd hurry."

I smiled at him. "You're more nervous than I am," I said looking at the other patients. A few of them had stared at us when we came in and I'd heard the whispers of "that poor girl". I flipped through a magazine as Sam messed with his phone, texting the pack back. They were waiting back in La Push for the news. It hadn't taken long for them to realize I was pregnant. The change in my smell was more obvious to them along with the extra heart beat.

I tapped my foot on the carpeted floor, I looked down at it. The nursery would need carpet. We had wood floor throughout the entire house right now. I hated it. Sam and Old Quil had put it down before I had moved in, when Sam was fixing the house up.

"Young?" The nurse's voice called out. I stood up, nudging Sam to follow after me. Sam got up quickly, following after the nurse to a small dark room. "Just have a seat," she said with a smile. "The tech will be in here soon."

I nodded and thanked her. Sam sat down in the chair beside me, frowning at all of the equipment around us. "So I still think we're having a girl," he said grinning at me. He was giddy with excitement and was starting to get jumpy from it. I laughed at him.

"I want a boy. I want a son, then a daughter," I told him with a smile. I knew how he felt about having a boy though. He would choose to have a daughter and no sons if he could help it. Sam was positive that any son of his would share his fate.

He reached over and grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze as his leg bounced up and down from nervousness. "I wish he would hurry up and come in already." He looked at the door and straightened up just as it opened to his excitement.

Dr. Johnston smiled at us as sat down on the stool beside us, beside the ultrasound equipment. "Excited? Nervous?" He asked with a laugh at Sam.

I rolled my eyes at Sam who was nodding quickly now. "I think he's about to burst from it." I sat up a bit more as he pushed my baggy shirt up, revealing the growing bump. He squeezed some sort of gel onto me and then started moving the wand across my abdomen.

"Hear that?" Dr. Johnston said smiling as he rolled it around, looking for the baby directly. "That's the baby's heartbeat," he explained. The thumping sound was loud and strong. I looked beside me at Sam; he was leaning on the edge of his chair, his eyes gleaming. "Would you two like to know the sex of your baby?" Dr. Johnston asked.

Sam nodded his head up and down, like a bobble head would "Yes!" He said loudly.

I shot him a look as Dr. Johnston chuckled and pressed against my stomach again. He hit a button and printed out a few pictures. "Well, in that case, I'm proud to tell you that you are having a healthy baby boy."

I felt the happy grin spread across my face. "Did you hear him, Sam? A boy. I wanted a boy," I said happily. I squeezed his hand as I turned to look at him.

Sam's excitement seemed to vanish and instead he looked surly. He just nodded his head at the picture on the screen as Dr. Johnston checked the measurements and weight of the baby. Everything was perfect. I wiped my stomach off as we left. "Sam? Are you okay?" I asked him softly as we went down the hall.

He nodded again. That seemed to be all he could do now. "I'm so happy we're having a boy," I chirped as we got in the truck. I was looking at my printouts of the baby. Happiness filled every pore and cell of my body right now. I'd be happier if Sam would show some excitement, though.

Sam didn't say anything as we headed home, I kept looking over at him, waiting. "Are you mad?" I asked him quietly. I couldn't bear the thought of him being mad because the baby was a boy. What man didn't want a son, honestly? We could always try again for a daughter after this one if he wanted to.

"No. I'm not mad," he said curtly. He turned sharply back into La Push, propping his elbow up on the window holding his head. He looked upset even though he wouldn't admit it.

I looked down at my pictures again, feeling a twinge. "You don't want the baby anymore, do you?" I asked my voice sounding thick as I spoke. We pulled into the driveway as I spoke. I threw him a look as I got out and slammed the door to his truck and took off inside.

"Emily! Wait... don't be like that," Sam called after me. I could hear his heavy footsteps behind me. I flung open the door to the house and let it close behind me as I went into the kitchen.

I was finally coming to terms with this pregnancy. He knew I hadn't wanted the baby at first because I saw it as a replacement and now he was acting like this. Sam had talked to me over and over until I had seen the good in this situation and now he was ruining it.

I grabbed the bread off of the stove and grabbed two slices, turning around to jerk the fridge open just as roughly. "Emily, stop it. Just stop... I didn't mean it like that," Sam pleaded as he came in. I didn't even look his way as I grabbed a butter knife and started spreading mustard onto the bread. "Look at me, please," he begged.

I cut my eyes at him and felt the tears rising in them. I threw the now ruined bread down on the floor; I'd stabbed it instead of spreading. I stomped it slightly as I took off past him toward the stairs. "I want the baby. I'll always want the baby. I just… I didn't want a boy," Sam said quietly as my foot hit the first step. I paused and turned around to look at him blankly. "I don't want my son to live like this. In secret and always worried about what might happen. You know how hard this is."

I shook my head at him, letting one crocodile-sized tear fall down my cheek. "You're lying to me. You don't want him anymore. I saw your face." I said as more tears came. I started up the stairs again, my eyes blurred as I went up, causing me to trip as soon as I tried to take the next step. A shock of panic went through me before I felt a set of strong hands grabbing me, catching me before I fell.

I sobbed for a moment before I looked at him; horror was registering on his face as he held me. His arms were wrapped around me, his hands folded protectively on top of my stomach. "God... I'm so sorry. I almost made you fall again. I don't know…." He stopped there as he hugged me tightly.

I buried my face into his shoulder as he held me. I could tell by the look on his face that Sam hadn't grabbed me just for me. He kissed the top of my head. "I don't want anything to happen to either of you, Em. Boy or girl. I don't care. It's our baby either way. It means a lot to me," he said into my hair.

I nodded at his words. "You're not upset with me at all?"

Sam shook his head quickly. "No. I'm not upset. I was just... sad. Sad that another son will have to carry this on. I guess it's not that bad, though. It brought me you, didn't it?"

I smiled through my dried up tears. "It did," I said softly thinking about the day we'd met. It had been at Leah's birthday party. I'd kept stealing glances at Sam from across the room, feeling drawn to him. He'd looked up at the same time I was staring at him and that was it. He was mine. "Now we're having a family together."

Sam kissed the side of my hair. "Come on. Let's get up from here," he said as he released me and got up, pulling me with him. "I'll make you lunch."

I laughed at that. Sam hardly ever made anything edible. He was a master at the microwave though. It still amazed me that he'd lived alone for a month before I moved into his house. I sat down at the counter, feeling embarrassed as he picked up my soggy, mashed-up bread from the floor. "Good thing it was just the bread," he joked as he threw it in the trash.

"I guess we can start picking out names now," I said with a smile. "I really like the name Adam."

Sam frowned at it though as he moved around the kitchen getting lunch ready. "I like the idea of naming him after my grandfather, if you don't mind. Levi."

I thought about it. We could compromise I supposed. "Okay. How about Adam Levi Uley?" I asked with a smile.

Sam shoved a bowl of chicken noodle soup at me as he cut my grilled cheese in half, pulling the crust off of it first. He knew exactly how I liked it. "I like that one," he said grinning.

I sipped some of the broth as he sat down across from me with his own. "Good thing I made overalls after all. Blue ones too. My mom's going to be so excited. We have to tell your mom, too. And the pack, of course." I rattled on. I bit into the sandwich and chewed it slowly as I thought. A boy meant all kinds of things. A blue nursery with a sports theme. It meant Sam would be the first in the pack to have a son also, meaning our son would one day also be the alpha of the pack if he ever phased. A boy meant Sam would have a little one tagging along after him everywhere he went.

"How's the wedding stuff going?" He asked me as he raised his glass to his lips.

I shrugged, thinking about the invitations and flowers. "Good, I guess. I have to get Leah fitted and Claire too, of course. Your mom will have to go with us to find her dress. I figured we'd do the wedding traditionally, and the reception a bit more modern. My dad's found a caterer he wants us to use. They decided they want to cover the reception costs."

Sam frowned at me. "I thought we were paying for everything ourselves, though? I have money." He said sounding a bit put off at the idea.

I sighed as I pushed the noodles around in my bowl. "Sam, the bride's family is supposed to do something. It's only right. Have you even decided on your best man yet?"

"Jared. I thought about it and he's the first brother I had. The others mean a lot to me, but he's the only one I could confide in for awhile. We've been through a lot together. We were the first to phase, the first to imprint, the first to get married…"

I nodded, remembering when Jared had phased. Sam had been happy to have another person like him. Someone else to have around who was dealing with the same stuff. "Okay. Sounds good. You two will have to get tuxes of course, for the reception. I want you to wear traditional getup for the actual wedding."

Sam scowled at me for a moment. "No loin cloths, either. Or I'll have to refuse you."

I gave him a look, peeking at him from under my lashes. "You can't refuse me."

Sam laughed at me loudly. "You're not playing fair, Emily," he said teasingly as he got up, taking our dishes to the sink and dropping them inside. "I think I'll go out and patrol with the guys for a bit if you don't mind."

I shrugged at him. "I don't mind. If Leah's out tell her to come over here, though. I want to talk to her about wedding stuff."

He made a face at me as he leaned down. "I try not to talk to her."

I wrapped my arms around his waist. "Is she that bad?'

"She's terrible. Worse than Paul, even. She talks shit about everyone. She keeps... ugh... I don't want to think about it," he said shaking his head with a pained look.

I smirked at him; at least I didn't have to worry so much anymore. "You guys play nice out there." He leaned down and kissed me, crushing my mouth with his. I shut my eyes, willing my knees not to buckle under me with the passion behind it. "Mmm… you should go…" I mumbled to him, his lips still on mine. "If you don't go now, you'll never make it out."

Sam pressed his mouth on mine again before he pulled back. "I'm going, I'm going. If you need something just step out and yell into the woods. I won't be too far away. I just want to see what's new with the guys."

I nodded as he started stripping down in the kitchen, he didn't bother to wait until he was in the woods anymore. I traveled down his body with my eyes, looking him over. It looked like he'd gotten even bigger and grown more muscles. "I'll probably be in bed when you get back. I'm tired."

Sam paused at the door. "Okay. I can take care of myself tonight. You should probably rest while you can, anyway; you have a lot to do." He blew me a kiss as he went out, walking casually through the lawn naked. Good thing we didn't have neighbors too close by. I watched from the window as he let himself quiver and shake for a spilt second before the fur erupted from his body.

It wasn't until later that night when I was alone that I felt the flutters in my stomach. I pressed my hand onto my belly, feeling joyful as it came again. It felt like butterflies were moving around inside of me. I smiled to myself as I lay still, not daring to move in case it quit. _Amazing_, I thought to myself. _Simply amazing_. It was amazing that I could feel my baby inside of me. It was amazing that I was anxious already for the baby to get here. I could hardly wait to see the small version of Sam. I pictured the baby looking mostly like him. I'd seen baby pictures of him before and he was a cute baby.

I laid there in the bed for awhile, waiting to see if it would happen again when Sam came in. First glance told me that he was tired and completely worn out. He sank down on the bed, still not wearing anything. "What are you still doing awake?" He asked me.

I leaned up and smiled at him. "Feeling the baby move. It's... like nothing I've ever experienced before."

Sam looked down at my stomach where one of my hands was still resting. "Oh, I see," he said quietly as he got back up from the bed and went to the dresser. He grabbed a pair of boxers and slid them on. I glared at him behind his back; I thought he'd gotten over this earlier. I rolled over onto my side of the bed, the tiny bit of it that I'd claimed, anyway. Sam took up most of the room when we were in it together. I pulled the blankets up to myself, knowing that Sam wouldn't need them. He slid down onto the bed beside me and stretched out, not saying anything for a while as we lay there.

"Goodnight, then..." I told him in a flat voice. Sam was confusing me. He was hot and cold with the baby.

Sam leaned over and kissed my cheek lightly. "Night," he said softly into my ear. He slid down the bed, pushing the blanket back off of me. "Goodnight, Adam," he said in an almost whisper. He kissed my stomach twice before he leaned back up and snuggled down into the sheets with me.

I rolled over, wrapping my arms around him, feeling cheerful again. He did care.

"I love you. Both of you. I really do," he said as he put his arms around me. I smiled as I rested my head on his chest. I knew I was reading too much into his actions and expressions now, Sam did want the baby. "Don't pay any attention to me when I act… funny about the baby, Em. I do want this baby, I swear. I just… I don't know. I feel wrong for having him, like I'm cursing him for life before he even has a chance to live."

I shut my eyes as I laid there, relaxing. "You're not cursing him, Sam. He'll love you even more when he knows what you've been doing for this reservation. I just want you to accept it already. We're having a son in five months and I know you love him already. Don't regret anything, please."

Sam's hand rubbed my back. "I don't regret anything. I don't regret getting you pregnant. I'll be different tomorrow after it sinks in, though. I promise." I knew he'd be different. Sam didn't have it in him to refuse his own son. He knew too well what that was like.


	42. Chapter 42

**a/n-- thanks to mediate89 for betating this. and a shout out to liljenrocks cuz shes awesome :D :D dont forget to check out my other story, The Red!! thanks toe veryone who reviewed for me. Youre all fantastic "D**

Chapter 42

I frowned as I looked over the dates of appointments and meetings my mom had scheduled for wedding things. She was turning this into a bigger deal than I wanted it to be. Mom had helped me pick out flowers- ones I liked but didn't like because they were expensive. I didn't want to spend a ton of money on this. Sam was mine either way, so it didn't really matter if we had a wedding or not.

I looked down the list sighing loudly as Sam came into the kitchen looking sleepy. He didn't have the first stitch of clothing on himself as he went to the fridge looking like he was sleep walking and opened it up, taking the milk out and downing it from the carton. I watched him amused as he gulped and gulped before putting it back inside and shutting the door. He turned around wiping his mouth off.

"Sam, that's gross. I don't want to drink your backwashed milk," I chided him like a child.

Sam shrugged and stretched, rubbing his chest with one hand. "Why are you awake?" He asked me in a thick voice.

I shrugged as I scribbled out a doctor's appointment I'd have to rearrange. The baby was due only a month before the wedding. My eyes widened as I double checked the days between the dates. "Oh, no…" I hadn't realized I'd done this. I shouldn't have tried to plan them so close together.

Sam leaned over me, looking too. "What's wrong?" He asked rubbing my back, obviously clueless.

"Sam, we can't get married in November. Well we could, but..." My cheeks turned red as I looked up at him. "We won't be able to have a honeymoon. Not a real one," I told him softly.

Realization dawned on his face. "Oh. _Ohh_…" I knew he would want to be alone and be able to make love after we were married. "I guess… we could get married in October or September?" He suggested.

I shook my head quickly. "No. I don't want to be eight or nine months pregnant. I don't want to be a blimp on my wedding day, I told him, knowing I sounded superficial. "I probably wouldn't feel like having sex anyway."

Sam nodded slowly looking at the calendar again. His eyes scanned it over, looking at December. "What about December 15?" He asked me. "That's about right. We'll be back in time for Christmas, too."

I sighed loudly as I looked at the date. "I don't think I'll want to leave the baby, though. He'll be a newborn. He'll need me," I said feeling tearful now. I didn't want to leave the baby behind. We wouldn't have that great of a time with the baby there either, though. The wedding was a mess. "Maybe we shouldn't even get married. I'm already pregnant for the second time and we live in sin anyway," I said as my eye stung with tears. "I'm not even sure why I even thought we should get married."

Sam shook his head at me and wiped my tears away form my cheeks. "We're not living in sin. We're living in love. I don't think there's anything wrong with you being pregnant." He kissed my cheeks softly "We're getting married because we love each other so much. You deserve a wedding with everything the way you want it whether we have to go get married next month or next year. I don't care. But we'll be married, Emily."

I sniffled and took a deep breath, calming myself. I shouldn't have moved in with Sam like this. Everyone was probably wondering why we weren't already married. "But what about the baby? I don't think I'll be able to leave him so soon. I want the baby to be with me all the time after I have him. Something could happen to him while I'm gone."

"Adam will be fine, Emily, I swear. My mom can take care of him. She had me, didn't she? We'll only be gone five days, I promise. Not even a week," Sam assured me softly. "Then we'll come back. And we can call and check on him and everything if you want to." He rubbed up along my spine again, soothing me. "Besides, we're not going that far, anyway."

I blinked away the last few tears from my eyes. "I don't even know where we're going. I don't want to go too far. Just somewhere close by." I circled the new date on the calendar feeling remorseful.

Sam kissed the back of my hand as he headed off upstairs, probably realizing he was still naked. "I have that planned out. Don't worry," he said with a smile.

I felt the baby start to kick again as Sam went further away and touched my stomach as I got up. "Are you hungry?" I called after him. It was six in the morning now. Still early for him to be up. I didn't hear an answer and sighed as I started up the stairs after him. I held onto my stomach as I went. I wasn't big yet. Only 19 weeks now. Just a bump, not a huge belly. It was enough that I couldn't fit into anything but extra large shirts and maternity clothes, though. It was a drawback of being so tiny.

I went into our room, shaking my head with a smile as I saw Sam's nude figure draped across the bed. He was passed out again. I crawled onto the bed beside him, pushing him over. He rolled onto his side, opening one eye at me.

"The baby's moving," he said softly, reaching over to feel. The kicking ceased as Sam's hand felt my bare stomach under my pajama top.

"He quit when you touched me," I told him with a laugh. "It's like he can sense you or something." I laid back into the pillows letting Sam rub my stomach trying to get the baby to move again. This was the week that the baby had started to actually move move instead of just flutter.

Sam sat up and scooted down, pressing his head against my stomach as he whispered. "Hi, Adam. It's your dad. You know it's me, don't you?" He nuzzled my stomach gently with his nose. "I hope you do, anyway. I hope you don't mind me and Mama planning to leave you with your Nana for a few days, either. I noticed you didn't like that earlier." He kissed my stomach lightly and I felt the baby shift. "We'll have plenty of time for you, though. Daddy's thinking about quitting one of his jobs so that he can stay home and be with you and your Mama."

I sat up quickly, looking at Sam. "No," I said shaking my head at him. "They need you too, Sam. We'll be fine, nothing will happen to you." I knew that wasn't a guarantee but he couldn't stop phasing so soon. We'd just gone through this.

Sam sighed as he gave my stomach another kiss before wrapping his arms around me. "I thought you'd want me to. So that you wouldn't worry as much."

"No. Don't leave them. They're family too. Besides, he has to learn from someone when he gets older, doesn't he?" I asked, gesturing toward my stomach.

Sam concentrated on holding my gaze. "I want to be here for Adam." He moved his hand to rest it on my abdomen. "I don't want to be the kind of dad my father was. I want to teach him how to play baseball. I want to show him how to ride a bike, how to talk to girls, to drive and hopefully how not to phase. I want to raise him, Emily."

I smiled at his list of things he already had prepared for the baby. "You'll have to learn how to take care of him first. Feeding, bathing, diapering. The works." I let a small yawn escape my lips. "I'm tired. All this planning is driving me crazy."

Sam pushed me back onto the pillows and draped a blanket over his lower half before snuggling next to me. "Get some sleep while you still can. I have a feeling we're going to wish we had a lot more of it in about four months."

I nodded and cuddled up to him, nuzzling his neck with my face as I got closer to him. It was cool outside; I needed his body warmth on me.

I slept and slept even after Sam left for work, looking regretful as he did. He didn't like work anymore but he had to go. We still had bills that the supernatural world didn't pay. I got up groggily and went downstairs to call my mom and tell her about the changes I'd made. Hopefully she wouldn't ask why.

I fixed a bowl of cereal and sat down with the phone, munching and crunching as I listened to her go on and on. I finally butted in when I saw a chance. "Oh, I changed the wedding date to the 15th of December," I told her casually.

"What? Why? Now we have to call everyone back and tell them," my mom complained. I could hear the beep of the checkouts in the grocery store in the background.

"It just works better for the two of us is all. Change of plans, you know. I didn't factor in a few things."

She was quiet for a moment as it hit her. "Oh, I see now. I guess that's fine then. As long as you're not pregnant when you come back."

I coughed, choking on the milk in my cereal. What in the world? I coughed again, trying to clear my throat out. "Why not? Maybe we want another baby as soon as we have this one." I said it mainly to irk her. We did want more, but not this close together.

My mom sputtered for a second. "Because you need to let yourself rest in between, that's why! And I should go... I have... stuff to do." She was obviously looking for a way out of this conversation.

I smiled to myself. "Okay. I'll call you later, then." I hung up with her, laughing quietly as I carried my bowl over to the sink and dropped it in.

I looked up at the clock. Whoa. It was three in the afternoon and I was still dragging behind with everything. I had laundry to do, dinner to cook. The list went on and on. I hurried around the house cleaning and finding small things here and there that I forgot to do earlier. I wasn't about to let everything slip just because I was pregnant.

I slid the food into the oven and put the timer on . Dinner would be easy tonight. I pulled my hair up into a messy ponytail. I hadn't had a shower yet either. I looked out at the sky. It was dark and cloudy. It was supposed to rain tonight, but when did it not rain?

I grabbed one of the blue outfits I was making and sat down in the recliner to start on it. I had made two pairs of overalls, a few small linen shirts, socks and a hat. I was making a sleeper now. I sewed slowly, making sure the stitches were tight as I sat there relaxed watching _Gilmore Girls_, then turning over to see _Little House on the Prairie_. I didn't have that interesting of a day life when I was home alone. Soon I'd have someone to keep my company, though I thought as I touched my stomach. The baby had been moving around a lot today and he was getting stronger.

The door opened and Sam came in grinning at me. "Hey, sweetie," he said as he leaned down and kissed me. He was dripping wet, droplets hung from his hair.

I kissed him back. "Dinner's done. It's still in the oven though," I told him, putting down the little outfit and getting up to go fix him something. "I slept too long today," I admitted. I looked at the bag he had on his arm. "What'd you get?" I asked curiously. Sam didn't shop.

Sam flashed me a smile as he followed me into the kitchen digging into his bag excitedly. "Something for my son, of course." He grinned as he produced a small toy.

I giggled at what it was. Sam had bought a medium-sized stuffed black wolf. It was actual fur too, not just fuzzy stuff. It looked almost exactly like Sam did when he was phased.

"That's adorable," I told him. I turned to get a plate and he grabbed my waist and spun me back around.

"Hold on. I'm not done yet," he said giving me a look as he bent down to "talk" to my stomach. He pushed my shirt up as I stood there and kissed it tenderly. "Hey, Adam. Dad bought you an awesome wolf toy today. Wolves are a very special part of our family. I thought you could keep this one with you when I'm not here." He rubbed my stomach and the baby automatically settled.

I shook my head, smiling at his antics as I was finally allowed to get his plate down from the cupboard. "He calms down every time you talk or touch me. I think he really does know when you're here."

Sam gave me a grin as he sat down at the table. The rain was pounding outside. "Of course he does. He loves me already," he explained proudly. I rolled my eyes at him and went into the laundry room to grab a change of clothes.

"I have to get a shower," I told him looking outside through the window. "If I wait much longer I might not get to take one." Sam nodded "Go ahead. I'll be down here," he said stuffing more food into his mouth.

I went upstairs slowly, going into the bathroom and turning the water on. I laid my clothes down on the counter and took my hair down and ran a brush through it. I looked bright and glowy. Not sickly and pale like the first time. I undressed and got into the shower, letting the hot water run over me as I savored the relaxation of it. I was rinsing the shampoo out of my head when the lights flickered. I frowned and hurriedly started to finish my shower. I'd gotten as far as washing my legs off when the lights went completely out.

I let out a yelp as I crashed into the hanging rack we had in the bathtub. I couldn't see anything. The pitch black scared me. I stayed here alone at night because I usually had every light on. I felt my way out carefully.

"Sam?!" I called out, hoping he was already on his way upstairs.

I felt a pair of arms grab me from behind and I jumped, letting out another yell. "Shh, it's just me," Sam said, turning me around to look at him. I could see his eyes in the dark now, glowing like an animal's would.

"You scared me," I accused him, I was happy to know he was there, though. "I could have fallen."

Sam laughed as his hands rubbed up and down my sides. "You know I wouldn't let that happen," he said lowering his voice.

I shut my eyes as I felt his hands curving around my bottom. I was still dripping wet from the shower. I shoved his hands back and pulled up on his shirt, jerking it off, surprising myself as I did it. Pregnancy hormones had been making me want Sam like this for the past week and I saw my opportunity. I moved to his pants next, jerking them down. I stepped back as he kicked them away before pulling me back to him.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, pressing my mouth on his hungrily. Sam's hands went down again, curving onto my bottom before he lifted me up and moved back, pressing me against the bathroom wall. I wrapped my legs around him, moaning as I felt him push into me.

I had both legs around his waist as he pressed me onto the wall supporting us both. I kept my arms around his neck moaning louder as he thrust in and out before he pulled me against himself, holding me as we went out into the hallway. I felt the hall table under me a second later, jumping at the crash as he pushed everything off of it. I leaned back as far as I could.

"God... keep going," I whimpered loudly from under him. My hands were feeling his chest, pinching at his nipple. I could hear him growling.

"Mmm. Emily..." he mumbled into my hair as he slowed his pace down. Neither of us wanted this end yet. He lifted me up again and headed toward our room but we didn't make it there. We half sat, half laid at the top of the stairs clinging to each other. I gave his hair a tug as he slammed into exactly the right spot. Sam's mouth was on my collar bone as we moved together, both of us trying to please the other.

I arched my back gasping out loudly. "Ugh… harder," I directed him, digging my nails into his back. "Harder," I whimpered again. Waves of pleasure shot through me as I clenched around him. I was breathing heavily now, I could hear the rain pounding around us on the roof in the pitch darkness. "Keep going," I said softly, we hadn't been like this in a while. Not so… into this. Sam's mouth nibbled at my ear as I pressed into his back. He started moving us down the stairs slowly; I wasn't even sure where we were going exactly.

"Stop," he said huskily moving my hands from him and slowly putting me on my feet. "Come here," he said taking my hands and directing me in the dark. I was weak-kneed and still wanting more of him as I let him direct me on top of him. Couch, I realized as I climbed on top of him, straddling him. Sam groaned lowly as I lowered myself onto him. His hands rested on my hips, guiding me up and down his shaft as we both moaned and felt more of each other.

I tilted my head back, letting my hair brush against him. God... Sam was amazing. I felt his hips thrust up suddenly, making me lose concentration of what I was doing. I grabbed onto his chest, leaning down slightly as he thrust into my again sending shocks through me. I dug my nails into his chest whimpering as he thrust again. "I love you," I managed to say, barely able to form a thought as I let the complete bliss take over me again.

Sam stayed still for a moment until I caught my breath. "I want you. More of you," he said into my ear as I let my hands rub on him once I'd gotten off of him reluctantly.

"Come on," I said silkily as I got up, shoving him in front of me to lead the way as we crashed through the kitchen next. We were literally everywhere in our house for the first time. His strong arms lifted me onto the table pushing me back before he positioned himself in front of me. He slid inside of me, surprising me for a moment. I laid back onto the table, moaning as he moved in and out of me. I couldn't last much longer.

Sam leaned over me, pressing his chest onto me as he kissed me roughly. I slid my hands behind his head, holding him in place as we moved together again. His mouth pressed onto mine, parting my lips with his tongue as I tickled his ear at the same time. Sam moaned suddenly when I touched his ear. I reached up and tickled it again as he whispered, "I love you too," before he finally released. I clutched at him for a moment as we stayed still, catching our breaths together in the darkness.

He lifted me back up, hugging me tightly against him. "So much for your relaxing shower, huh?" He whispered to me.

I smiled to myself as I hugged him back. I didn't know if it was water or sweat that was dripping off of me. "This was better," I told him as I kissed him again.

The sound of a breaker flipping made us both jump as the lights came back on suddenly. I looked at him we burst out laughing at the same time at the irony of it.


	43. Chapter 43

**a/n-- I liked my reviews :D :D so heres another chapter ahead of my usual update cuz Mediate89 thinks you guys deserve it :P thanks goes to her for betaing and adding a few things to this chpater. shoutout to liljenrocks and my friend dana :D hope you guys like this one and review!**

Chapter 43

I pounced on the door as soon as I heard Sam's truck pull up. I was beyond excited right now. We were heading over to Port Angeles to pick out stuff for the nursery. I had the perfect idea of what I wanted it to look like. Everything had to be right for the baby.

"It's about time," I joked as Sam leaned down to kiss me quickly before he took off upstairs. "Hurry up and change," I called out after him.

I sat down and pulled on my shoes slowly. My feet were already swollen from holding so much water. I was getting bigger now. I was six months pregnant or 25 weeks if you wanted to look at it that way. I let my hand rest on my stomach as I waited patiently for Sam to come back down. I'd been dressed in jeans and a purple maternity top since two o'clock this afternoon. I hated the pants. I couldn't stand the elastic band that went around me. I usually opted for Sam's sweats when I was at home but I couldn't wear those to the store.

Sam appeared on the stairs, looking tired as he came to help me up. "Thanks honey," I said sweetly as he pulled on my arms. Sam was being great with helping me.

"I don't mind," he assured me as he held my hand and led me down the front steps. I climbed into the truck after he'd opened the door for me and hooked my seatbelt on. Sam got in after walking around to his side and we backed out of the driveway.

"So, I went to the doctor today and he said everything's going fine and that I should be able to do the home birth like I wanted to." I'd been thinking about having a midwife come to deliver the baby. I would be more comfortable at home and this way the baby would be born on the reservation. I wasn't worried about not having pain medications or any hospital comforts. I was sure I could handle it.

Sam nodded and glanced at me. "We should start getting ready for that then. I'm sure my mom knows of some midwives in La Push. But only if you really want to be at home. I don't mind either way," he said as he turned left.

"I'm sure. I want our moms to be there and after I have the baby your aunts and mine can come and visit. I don't want the pack to hover, though. They might attack the midwife or something." I laughed. A week earlier when I'd tripped, Jared had almost had a spazz-attack, whining and complaining until I sat down. The boys were getting more and more protective of me as I got further along. Sam said it was a natural reaction to the new chemicals in my blood but it still made it hard to swallow that I had a pack of body guards hanging onto my every movement.

I yawned as I rubbed my swollen stomach and looked out the window. "So, anything interesting happen today?" I asked Sam with another cheery smile. He was being too quiet for a normal day.

He shrugged as we pulled into the baby store I wanted to go to. "Just pack stuff. Nothing for you to worry about," he said, obviously wanting to end the conversation there.

I nodded silently and grabbed his hand as I waddled my way across the parking lot and into the store. Everything was adorable. Everything seemed to scream, "buy me, pick me!" I stopped at a crib display and looked at the set of baby blue bedding in it. I fingered it considering it for a moment before I took off to my next choice. Winnie the Pooh. I grabbed the crib set happily, not even bothering to look at the price. I wanted it and I would get it.

Sam made a face next to me. "No, Em," he moaned shaking his head. "Not Winnie the Pooh, anything but that." He started to take the bedding from my hands.

"No, I want it. I want this for the nursery," I whined as he tugged on it, scoffing at the outfits I had in my hands. "These are cute!" I protested as I held onto my findings tightly. I wasn't about to give them up. "I want Winnie the Pooh."

Sam sighed loudly and gave me a slight glare. "Maybe when we have a girl you can have Winnie the Pooh, but we're having a boy. I want like... sports stuff." He motioned to the setup beside us. "I want to do something. I can pick out stuff too, you know," he pouted, pulling a fast one on me. He'd already expressed that he felt left out when I went to the doctor without him, or that he wouldn't be able to help me as much as he wanted to if I insisted on doing everything alone.

"I want it, though." I was starting to get emotional. I wiped the corners of my eyes knowing that tears might get him to come my way. "If I can't have it then I don't want anything. The baby will sleep with us."

Sam's eyes grew wide at the idea. He let out a deep breath, shaking his head at me. "You know you'd never put the baby in the bed with us. I'm too big for that. I might roll over or something."

I sniffed as I started to put my findings down. "I don't want anything. Let's just go." I started to walk away from him.

Sam reached out and grabbed my arm. "No. We'll get it. But he can only keep it for six months, then we're changing it all out. And put up that hideous jumper thing. I can't stand the idea of my son wearing that. It looks like a dress," he said as he grabbed my stuff.

I gave him a dirty look as I held it up. "It's not a jumper. It's a one-piece outfit. A jumper is a dress, Sam." I walked with him to the counter to pay. He reluctantly slid his debit card, shaking his head the entire time. I felt gleeful as we left the store. I'd gotten my way yet again. All it ever took was one look to throw an argument in my favor.

We went to the home improvement store next, picking out paint and things before we headed back home. I was feeling great on the way back. I'd even talked him into pulling over and getting me Taco Bell for dinner. I ate hurriedly as he drove. I was starving. I gulped down my drink next, finally feeling full after three tacos.

"Thanks," I told him as I crumpled up the wrappers and stuffed them into the bag.

We made it home an hour later and unloaded our purchases, taking them upstairs to the room we were going to use as the nursery. We only had a two bedroom house so we were going to fix up the spare bedroom for the baby. When we were done, I went to our room and slipped into my pajamas, ready to relax as I climbed into bed. Sam wanted to take a shower before he joined me. He was going to sleep for a bit and then go back out to patrol around three o'clock.

I was half asleep when he came in wearing only his boxers. He crawled into bed beside me, his hands automatically reaching for my stomach. The baby, who had been incredibly active all day, calmed as soon as he touched me. Sam kissed the side of my face as he rubbed my stretched skin softly.

"Do you want anything before I go out later? Anything to eat or drink?"

I shook my head. I was still full from the tacos. "No, I'm fine." I rolled over to face him. "I could use something else, though." I smirked, running a finger down his chest.

Sam didn't need to be asked twice. He leaned over and kissed me forcefully. I shifted around, trying to get close to him without my stomach getting in the way. We were just getting into it when suddenly Sam jerked back from me looking shocked. I took a breath, sitting up. "What? What's wrong?"

Sam looked at my stomach for a moment, frowning before he said anything. "He kicked me. He knows what we were doing. I can't…" His eyes were horrified as he pushed my night gown back down, covering me again.

I rolled my eyes, moving toward him. "He does not know what we were doing. Don't be crazy, Sam. It was just a random kick."

He shook his head at me as he moved back from my outstretched hands. "He did too know. I can't have sex with you. What if he's kicking me to tell me I was crushing him? I'm huge, I might have been hurting him."

"You were not hurting him. Pregnant women have sex all the time, Sam. Up until the day they deliver if they feel like it. I'm only six months, are you telling me you're not having sex for three months?" I asked him pointedly. I knew he couldn't go three months.

Sam nodded his head quickly as he pulled his boxers back on, still looking wide-eyed at my stomach. "I can go three more months. No problem if it means I'm not killing my firstborn son."

I bit my bottom lip as I scooted back over to my side of the bed. "You're not killing him, though. God... you're so stupid sometimes." I snapped at him, letting the hormones get the better of me.

"I'm not being stupid, Emily. I really do think I'm hurting him."

I gave him a dirty look as I pulled the blankets around me. "Why don't you just go ahead and go?"

Sam sighed as he looked over at me. "I don't want to go yet. I don't know if I'll be back." He muttered the last part.

I heard his words and felt the flutter in my heart. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that I don't know if I'll be back or not," he said more clearly this time. "We're meeting the Cullens tonight to learn more about a vampire problem that we have headed our way. The army of newborns. We're learning how to fight them."

I rolled to my side, sitting up slowly and propping myself against the pillows. "You have to come back," I told him softly, regretting my mood swing.

Sam moved toward me and hugged me tightly against him. "I'll come back. I just don't know in what kind of shape. I don't trust them as much as Jake does. They make me nervous." He played with my hair, twirling it around his fingers. "After this, though we have the actual vampire fight. I thought maybe you could go to Makah, away from here."

I shook my head at the idea. I wouldn't leave. "No. I want to stay here in La Push."

Sam shook his head. "If we lose the battle they might trace our scents back here and slaughter our families. I can't leave and let you stay alone in this house without anyone here to protect you. I'm not taking that risk. I want you to plan on going to your mom's house for a few days."

I held his free hand in my smaller one, running my finger over the back of it. "What would I even tell my mom?"

"That you're going to stay with her because I'm going out camping with the boys and you don't want to be alone," he said matter-of-factly. He'd already planned the entire thing out.

I sighed as I squeezed his warm hand. "Can't you come with me?" I already knew the answer to that.

Sam lifted my hair to his face, rubbing it against his skin. "No. You know I can't abandon the pack, Emily. I'm their leader. I think I'm going to have some new wolves soon, too. Young ones." He sounded disdainful at the mention of new wolves. "I don't want any more to phase than what's necessary, but with the new vampire threat, I can only expect it."

I yawned as I leaned against him, moving our joined hands to rest on my stomach. "I guess I could go. I don't want to, though. I want to stay here. I don't like the idea of being so far away from you when you're fighting." I knew when the day came I'd fight with him on this. I didn't want to run while the rest of our family stayed behind.

"Good. Because you were going whether you agreed to or not. It's what's safest for you Emily, and the baby. Think about him." He leaned over to peck my cheek before reaching behind us to turn off the lamp. "I'll stay until you fall asleep," he whispered as he leaned back, getting comfortable.

I slept soundly, not even noticing when he left during the night to meet the rest of his pack.

************************************

I shook my head at Sam while he threw clothes into a bag. "I don't want to go," I complained, knowing he wouldn't listen.

"You're going, Emily. End of discussion," Sam answered gruffly as he grabbed my prenatal vitamins next and chucked them in. "You're not staying here."

I felt the tears run down my cheeks as I cried. I didn't want to go to Makah and leave him behind. I might never see him again. He could get really hurt… or worse. I couldn't run and leave the pack behind too. They were my boys, my family. "No, Sam. Don't make me go," I pleaded with him as he zipped up the bag.

Sam turned to me looking pained as he dropped the bag next to me on the bed. "You have to. You can't stay here. I won't let you. If I can't be here to protect my family then I'm sending them to where they'll be safest until I come back."

I didn't even bother wiping away my tears. I held onto my stomach, letting them fall freely down my face. "But what if you don't come back?"

Sam looked up at the ceiling, avoiding my eyes. "Emily, I won't abandon you." He sighed and walked over to sit down beside me, wrapping me in his arms. "I won't leave you to raise this baby by yourself and I won't let my son grow up without a father." He dropped one of his hands to rest it on my stomach. "I'll come back."

I squeezed my eyes shut, willing it to be true. "Something could happen," I whispered.

Sam kissed the top of my head and held me closer. "Emily, there are six Cullens and ten of us wolves. Alice has predicted only about twenty newborns. That's ten for each, a fairly even divide. We'll be fine. It won't be a problem." He smiled down at me.

I sniffed and nodded, trying hard to believe him. "Do you promise you're not just saying that? Will everyone really be okay? Do you swear you'll make it back to me alive?"

Sam held my chin with his free hand and brought my eyes to meet his. His gaze was intense. "Emily, if there is a moment where I even think that I might not make it out alive…" He trailed off, unable to promise me what he knew I wanted to hear. He sighed in defeat and looked away, knowing that if he held my gaze for too long he wouldn't be able to resist the temptation of abandoning his pack and coming to Makah with me.

"I'll just have to believe that you'll be okay," I whispered.

Sam rubbed my back in assurance and leaned over to kiss my temple. "I'll be fine, Emily. We'll all be okay." I nodded and he smiled before leaning over to rummage beside the bed. I heard him grunt and rustle a few plastic bags around before sitting up and dropping something in my lap.

I looked down. It was the black wolf he'd bought for Adam a few days ago. I glanced up at him, curious. He was grinning.

"Now you'll have me even when I'm gone."

I smiled through the tears that were drying on my face and picked up the little wolf. Its fur was soft and it really did look exactly like Sam after he phased. I wondered for the first time where he'd found it.

Sam looked over at the digital clock on our bed stand. "We have to go now," he murmured. He got up and reached for my bag. Despite my best efforts at keeping them at bay, I could feel my eyes filling with new tears. I looked down at the little stuffed wolf in my lap and it reminded me of why Sam was leaving and what he was going to be doing while he was away.

"Come on, honey, let's get this stuff in the truck." He offered me his hand and I took it, slowly rising to my feet. I grabbed a few more bags and followed him out of the bedroom, not knowing if he'd even packed anything I could wear or if he'd remembered my tooth brush. I trudged down the stairs slowly, feeling weepy again as I looked around. When I reached the vehicle Sam was standing there, waiting to take the load off of my hands.

Sam turned to me as he shut the cover on the bed of the truck. "Ready?" He asked with a smile. I gave him a weak smile in return and climbed into the passenger's side. Sam was positioned behind the wheel a few seconds later and I looked out at the setting sun as he started the ignition.

The two-hour drive to the Makah reservation was made mostly in silence as we both reflected on what this journey meant for us. The baby started to get restless on the way since neither Sam nor I were talking, so I placed the little wolf on top of my belly, hoping that the makeshift Sam would have the same effect as the real one. Sam glanced over and smiled at my display, taking my hand in his as he exited the I-10 junction and pulled onto the little road leading into the reservation.

It was almost dark when we pulled into my parents' little graveled driveway. Sam cut the engine and looked at me. We stared at each other for a few moments, letting our eyes say everything we couldn't. I could feel my eyes start to well up with tears as I imagined this being the last time I would ever see Sam looking back at me.

"Let me help you with your bags," Sam murmured, not breaking eye contact. I nodded and reached down to grab the smallest one we had placed up front. I wiped the tears out of my eyes as Sam opened his door and walked around back to get the others.

"Em, they'll wonder why you've been crying," Sam said softly as we walked up the lane to the little white house. I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself, leaning my head down to wipe my eyes on my shoulder. My mother burst through the front door seconds later and ran out to greet us, smiling widely.

"Emily! It's been too long, honey. I'm so glad you decided to stay!" I smiled as she wrapped me in a warm hug. "Here, let me take those for you," she offered, reaching for my bag. My dad peered at us through the screen door and walked out with a grin. He walked over and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

"It's good to see you, baby." He smiled again before looking over to nod at Sam with a more serious expression.

"Mr. Young." Sam nodded back in acknowledgment.

"Thank you for bringing her, Sam. Will you be staying for a little while?" Even though my parents didn't like Sam, they always tried to act civil for my sake.

Sam shook his head. "No, sir. I've got to get back. I just wanted to make sure Emily got in alright."

My dad nodded. "Well then, let me take those." He reached out to take Sam's bags from him. "I'll set them in the house for you so you can say goodbye. Anna." My mom smiled warmly at me before turning away and following my dad back into the house.

Sam waited for my parents to shut the door before he said anything. He reached out to pull me to him, lifting one hand to run his fingers through my long black hair. "I love you. You and Adam, I love you both." He leaned in to kiss me softly, placing his free hand against my stomach and rubbing it with his thumb.

"Keep our boys safe," I whispered against his lips. He nodded solemnly as he pulled away.

"I'll be back soon. Don't leave until I come to get you." I nodded and leaned up to kiss him again. He broke away too soon and headed toward the truck. He reached the vehicle after two long strides and turned to look at me, his black eyes boring into mine. "I love you." I nodded and tried to stay calm as he disappeared into the cab and started the engine. I watched him pull out of the driveway and onto the road before I started heading back to the house where I knew my parents were eagerly awaiting me.

************************************

I spent only two days in Makah, lounging around the house watching Tv and worrying about Sam. It wasn't until around four o'clock on the second day that I heard the knock on the door. I sat up straight looking at it nervously. Was it him?

I got up from the couch slowly. My mom was in the kitchen singing along with the radio as she washed dishes so I answered the door for her, not daring to hope. I gasped as I saw Sam standing on the other side, grinning down at me. I fell into his arms, kissing every inch I could reach from my tip toes, hugging him and trying not to cry as I tried to show him how happy I was to see him. Sam laughed.

"Shh, it's okay," he whispered, rubbing my back lightly as I wrapped my arms around his body.

"You're okay," I mumbled into his chest. He inhaled deeply and leaned down to kiss the top of my head.

"Yes, Emily, I'm okay."

I pulled him inside. "Is everything alright? Is everyone else okay?" In my happiness I hadn't even stopped to realize that he might have been the only one to make it out alive. Sam looked pointedly in the direction of the kitchen. I nodded and leaned up to kiss him once more before walking over to tell my mom that I was leaving. It took only a matter of minutes to be packed and in the truck, feeling happier than ever.

"I thought you'd come back after one day," I confessed, holding his hand tightly as he drove.

Sam raised our hands and kissed mine softly. "It took longer for them to get there then we thought. Everyone's okay except for Jake. He broke a lot of bones in the bright side of his body saving Leah from being hurt."

Leah. I hadn't even thought much about Leah and Seth, I realized feeling terrible at once. I'd thought of the pack as a whole instead of remembering that I had actual blood relatives involved in it. "What about Seth?" I asked next.

"He's fine, too. Quite pleased with himself, actually. He had a good fight alongside Edward Cullen." Sam shuddered as he remembered it. "I'll answer your questions but I don't want to go detail into detail if you don't mind. Not right now."

I nodded. I understood what he meant. Sam didn't want me to think of the wolf side of him. It showed how dangerous he could really be and I knew he was worried that I would get scared too easily. I asked a few more questions during the drive home and he answered me honestly.

As soon as we pulled up to the house we were wrapped up in each other's arms, forgetting my bags in the truck as we went inside. I didn't hear one complaint about how he would squash the baby that night. We were both trying to express how relieved we were to see each other again. I didn't know what I'd do if something happened to him. Sam was my world. He was the gravity holding me to Earth.


	44. Chapter 44

a/n--Hope you guys like this chap, I know this whole thing is gettin old but I needed to do it to lay out some ground work another chapter with Leah in it. thanks mediate for betaing this for me, and another thanks goes to liljenrocks for making me sooo happy that i got a boost of energy and finished this lol. Check out her story if you hadnt already. Also another buddy of mine that you should check out is crazyapril, its her first fanfic, so make her feel good! thanks everyone who reviewed last chap, i think I got a reply to everyone :D

Chapter 44

I moved miserably around the kitchen as I started getting the flour and sugar down from the pantry. It was getting harder and harder to move around. I sighed and stopped for a moment, leaning against the counter to rest. My back was killing me. I brushed my hair out of my face with my hand before I started to move around again. Being seven and a half months pregnant was horrible. I couldn't possibly imagine getting any bigger.

I was intent on making sugar cookies for the pack and myself, though as I started digging around for a measuring cup and my heart-shaped cookie cutters. I wanted to make the frosting too. I started mixing everything little by little feeling more and more restless with every movement. Sam would be back soon and he'd be mad if he knew I was up doing this. He'd told me he would fix whatever I wanted so that I could spend my time resting. Sam couldn't make cookies though, not unless he bought frozen ones. And I wanted homemade.

I licked the batter off of the spoon and realized I'd forgotten to add the shortening. I frowned at the mix and dumped it into the trash can, remembering that I'd also used self-rising flour instead of all-purpose. I was too sleepy to remember anything. I started back to wash the bowl when I felt the baby kicking around inside of me. I paused and placed my hand where I felt him balled up. Only a month and a half and he'd be here. I stood there feeling the baby kick and wiggle for a while until I heard Sam's footsteps hopping up the steps and onto the back porch. I took off for the kitchen table. I didn't make it there in time as the back door opened and Sam came in eyeing me suspiciously.

"What were you doing?" He asked, giving me a look before his eyes went to the counter. I sank down into the chair and feigned innocence.

"Nothing," I said as my body started to relax. Sam moved around looking at all the things I had laid out on the counter and glancing at the batter in the trash can.

"You were making cookies," he accused me as he shook his head. "I told you I would do everything. I don't want you moving around more than you have to."

I rolled my eyes at him as I started to get up again. "I can still bake and cook, Sam. I'm pregnant, not disabled," I reminded him as I held onto the table to pull myself up. I felt his strong arms wrap around me, pulling me to my feet before I could do it myself. "Thanks," I said as his hands felt my swollen stomach, pressing where the baby was.

Sam nodded and kissed my cheek. "I hope you got up so you could go upstairs and watch Tv."

"No, I got up so I could make cookies," I told him as I started toward the fridge to get more eggs. "I want some." I read over my recipe, double checking everything this time. I couldn't afford another mistake. I had to be quick this time or Sam would rush me out.

Sam pulled the book away from me. "No, go upstairs. No cookies for you. I'll go to the store and get some," he compromised, shutting the cookbook. His eyes were telling me that he wasn't messing around. "Come on. I'll help you up and get you settled."

I sighed, reluctantly putting the eggs back down. "I need to clean this mess up first. I can't leave it out. We'll get bugs." I reached for the dish rag to start wiping up my spilled flour. "It won't take long."

He snatched the towel from me. "No. I can do this too," he assured me, taking my hand in his. "You look tired."

I was tired. All day long while he was at work I'd been sneaking around doing things he claimed I was in no condition to do on my own. I'd hand washed a few things with a laundry board, made myself a great lunch, picked a few things from my garden, and mopped the floors.

"I'm fine. You're worrying too much."

Sam held my hand, walking with me slowly up the stairs as I sighed and held my lower back where it was cramping. I knew enough to know that I wasn't in labor or anything but Sam demanded to know what was wrong.

"My backs cramping up is all," I explained as I went inside our room. I sat down on the bed slowly, looking down at my feet. They were swollen up, along with my ankles and my calves.

"Roll over," he said softly, sitting down beside me. I reluctantly moved onto my side. He reached over to push my shirt up and started to gently rub my back.

I closed my eyes as Sam's large, warm hands caressed my sore muscles. As huge and tough as Sam was, he was completely gentle and loving when he touched me. I felt the cramping starting to ease away as he rubbed my copper skin.

"Thank you. I feel better," I mumbled into the pillows.

Sam kissed the back of my head. "I don't mind, Em. You're going through a lot right now carrying my baby. It's the least I can do for you."

"You're doing too much though," I said softly as I felt his hands move on to my neck next. "I don't like feeling like you have to pick up my slack Sam."

He laughed quietly. "I'm not. In fact, I'm kind of ashamed at myself for not doing more around here from the start."

I moved over onto my back slowly so I could face him as we spoke. "I love you," I told him with a smile.

Sam smiled back down at me as his hands brushed my cheeks. "I love you, too." He dropped one hand to rest on my stomach. "Do you want anything?"

I shook my head as I leaned up, putting another pillow behind me. "No. I just want my cookies," I said with a sigh. I wouldn't be getting homemade cookies anytime soon.

"Do you want to change into your pajamas?" He asked next, rubbing my stomach. "I'll go get them for you if you do."

I touched his hand with mine. "I'll change alone." I didn't want Sam to see my body like this. I had terrible marks across my stomach and I was fat in places I hadn't been before. I was gross.

We hadn't even been attempting to be intimate together since he'd come back from the big vampire brawl. And that night was still not exactly what it used to be. Nowadays Sam would give me the occasional kiss but that was as far as it ever went. I avoided seeing him undressed at all costs and made sure he never saw me now that I was so big. I didn't want him to see my stretched skin and be disgusted at the sight of me.

"I think I'll go finish cleaning up the kitchen then." He leaned over and kissed me softly, pulling away before I could kiss him back.

"Wait," I said, pulling myself up. "Cant you stay with me for a while?" I gave him a look he couldn't resist and he finally laid down beside me, fully clothed and stretched out. I snuggled up against him happy for the closeness of our bodies.

Sam wrapped an arm over me, cuddling me. "How's the wedding stuff going?"

I nuzzled his shirt, breathing him in. "Good. I handed it all over to our moms. I don't even care what it looks like anymore. I don't even know if I'll have time to show up."

He laughed as he moved his hand to rest on my chest, barely even touching my breasts. I glanced at his hand and bit my bottom lip before I took a chance. I grabbed his hand and moved it up, pushing it against my swollen chest. His fingers didn't curve around me like they usually would have. Instead, Sam shifted and sighed deeply. I sat up and looked down at him.

"What?" I asked him with a look as I tried to touch his chest under his shirt. Sam tensed when I touched him, irritating me even more.

"Nothing. I just don't want to…" He trailed off, his eyes averting mine.

I looked up at the ceiling. Sam was really turning me down. "Why not? I could still get on top and we could--" I stopped when his index finger pressed against my lips, silencing me. I could feel the heat rising in my face as he got up from the bed.

Sam didn't even glance at me as he started walking out. "I just don't…want to," he said lamely. He paused in the doorway. "I'm going to clean up the mess. I'll be down here if you want something." He blew me a kiss before disappearing into the hallway.

I laid back into the pillows feeling stupid. I'd never had to come out and ask Sam to sleep with me before. This was humiliating. Even worse was that I'd actually told him I'd get on top. I never got on top unless it was a heat of the moment thing, and that'd only happened three times before. I grabbed a pillow and covered my burning face with it in case he came back. I doubted he would, though. Sam obviously didn't think of me like that anymore. He'd just said it himself. He didn't want to have sex with me. We wouldn't even be consummating our marriage. My thoughts ran wilder and wilder as I lay there feeling like an immature child at the thought of how I'd come onto him.

**************************************

I woke up the next morning yawning and stretching out in an empty bed. Sam was nowhere to be seen since the incident. He'd cowered down stairs all night while I'd slept upstairs. I rubbed my eyes and glanced at the door and felt a smile spread across my face. There was a plate of homemade sugar cookies with pink frosting sitting beside me on the nightstand. They were even cut into the shapes I'd wanted them in.

I reached over and picked one up still smiling as I bit into it. It was wonderful. The best cookie I'd eaten in a while. I ate it slowly savoring its sweetness before I grabbed another one. Sam had been downstairs baking cookies, not cowering. I could feel my heart melting as I got up slowly from the bed, grabbing a robe to slip on as I walked. He'd made me cookies. I walked downstairs after I stopped off in the bathroom. The baby spent most of his time on my bladder which meant I was in there frequently. I entered the kitchen ready to see a mess everywhere but instead was met with every dish being washed and Sam at the stove making me an omelet.

Sam looked up and smiled at me. "Mornin', sunshine," he said cheerfully as he handed me a plate. "I thought I'd fix you something before I went to work."

Blah. I'd forgotten he had to work today. I'd rather he stay at home with me. "Do you have to go?" I asked as I sat down to eat. Sam sat a cup of water down beside me and grabbed his wallet and keys off of the table.

"Yes, have to. If I don't we wont be able to feed ourselves after you have the baby."

"You can't take any vacation time off?" I tried again.

Sam opened the front door, letting the bright sunshine fall in. "No, or I wont be able to go anywhere with you for our honeymoon. I can't get out of it so easily right now. Not unless a real emergency comes up and I'd prefer it if nothing happened to you while I'm gone."

I sighed as I pushed the egg around on my plate. "I understand, I guess. I just get bored here." I sipped the water, my eyes falling on him again. "You never told me you could make such good cookies, either."

Sam straightened up looking like he was embarrassed. "I didn't make any cookies."

I gave him a look. "You did too. I ate them."

"Maybe I made a few," he finally admitted giving me a grin. "You wanted them. I wanted you have them. I'm not completely useless around here." He walked back over to the counter and passed me a plastic bowl with a lid on it. It was filled with cookies. I grabbed a few and put them on my plate, breaking one in half and stabbing it with my breakfast before chewing. Sam made a face at me as he left, waving and blowing a kiss.

I took a shower after he left, feeling weak as I dressed in Sam's sweats and one of his shirts. I padded to the freezer in my socks looking for ice cream. I was sitting down with a gallon of it when I heard a sharp rap on the door. I sighed as I got up and went to the door, opening it a crack before I swung it open all the way.

"Leah," I said shocked.

Leah gave me a faint smile as she stepped in, glancing around the house. "I thought I'd come by and offer you some help," she said with a frown.

I could tell this hadn't been her idea from the way she said it. I looked around. "I think I have everything under control here." I sat back down on the couch. I felt Leah's sharp eyes on my stomach glaring for a moment, it seemed. "I appreciate you coming by, though."

Leah sat down, finally tearing her eyes away from me. "I don't mind. You're still family even though you're pregnant by my ex who also happens to be my alpha."

I picked up my spoon, choosing to ignore her comments. "Do you want some? I can't help it. I'm constantly hungry. I have some cookies too." I held the bowl out to her.

Leah smirked as she looked at the heart-shaped cookies before she took one and bit into it. "So Sam's really doing all of this himself?" She sounded amazed. "I didn't think he would."

I laughed as I sat the bowl down on the table. "Sam's been great. He's been a big help so far with the baby."

Leah looked amused as she cut her eyes back to me. "Of course he is. It's a boy. Sam needs a son to carry on the new alpha line. That's why he imprinted on you. To get you pregnant."

I felt a slap in her words as they hit me. "Actually, Sam didn't even want a boy, Leah. He wanted a girl. He doesn't want a son to carry on the line. Sam's main priority isn't reproducing to keep La Push stocked with wolves."

She got up getting her purse. "He imprinted on you because you can give him children, I can't. I have to go, anyway. Mom just wanted me to come by and see if you needed help and I can see the only thing you need help with is realizing that that's the only difference in his love for me and you."

I didn't say good-bye to her as she left. I just shut the door and went back to my couch where I curled up with my ice cream and cookies, eating and munching while I watched soaps all day long. I ate a cold barbeque pork and bacon sandwich, ice cream with cookies, and cheese nips dipped into sour cream. I was still starving. I looked at the clock. Sam would be back in two hours from work. I moved up from the couch slowly, going to the kitchen. I picked up the phone and dialed the garage, waiting while they got Sam for me.

"Hello?" He answered breathlessly.

I touched my stomach. "Could you stop by and get me some Chinese food for dinner? And maybe some cottage cheese?"

Sam cracked up on the other end. "Cottage cheese?"

I smiled in spite of it. "Yeah, cottage cheese. It sounds really good right now."

"I'll go by for it after I get done here and do a quick patrol, okay?"

I guessed I could hold out that long. "Okay. Just don't take your time, please. I want it," I told him as we hung up.

I yawned and settled back down for a short nap, snuggling under my favorite fuzzy blanket. I slept until I heard deep voices coming from the kitchen and sat up groggily. It was dark outside now, meaning Sam was late if it wasn't his voice I was hearing. I listened and got up slowly, feeling swollen. I could recognize one voice as Embry's and the other as Seth's.

"So, I wonder why Sam was over at your house with Leah."

Seth was crinkling something open. "Me, too. I didn't think they spoke much outside of the pack. They looked into whatever they were saying, though. All passionate."

"Yeah, I noticed that too. I don't think he's stupid enough to mess with your sister again, though. He's got Em and the baby."

I yawned loudly, making it known that I was just waking up. I'd heard enough. I didn't think I could take much more of that conversation. Sam was at Leah's house, seeing her. Sam was sleeping with Leah again and that was why he kept refusing me every time I made a move on him. It made perfectly good sense to me. I stood up slowly and went into the kitchen.

"Hey, you two," I greeted them with a smile.

Both boys were eating sandwiches and sharing a bag of chips. I didn't care if they helped themselves.

"Hey, Em," Embry said glancing at Seth.

Seth was finishing off his food in a hurry now. He looked at me with a grin. "I've got to patrol soon."

I could hear Sam's truck pulling in just then and decided to let them off the hook as he came in carrying my take-out bags. "Sorry I'm late. I had to take care of a few things," he said looking out of breath. He looked flushed. I frowned as I looked him over, noticing that his shirt was gone too and his pants were all wrinkled. "Here's your food, though."

I took the bag from him and went to the table not even bothering to say anything as I sat down. I opened up the boxes he'd brought filled with noodles, rice, everything I wanted. I grabbed the chopsticks and dug in, waving to Embry and Seth when they left. Sam sat down across from me watching as I stuffed myself

"Is it okay if I have some?"

I shrugged and passed him the noodle box and a pair of chopsticks. I shoved the rice toward him when I finished with it. Sam was eating, not much though. He kept looking at me.

"What's wrong?" he finally asked.

"Nothing is wrong," I answered coldly as I started to get up from the table. I grabbed onto the back of the chair beside me for support. Sam reached over to pull me up, trying to help. I slapped his hands away

"Don't touch me," I snapped. "You don't have to anymore."

Sam reeled back looking confused. "What are you talking about?"

I shook my head at him and started for the stairs as fast as I could. I didn't want to be around him anymore. He was two timing me with my own cousin. I went step by step until I reached the top and went to our room, crawling under the cool sheets. I looked down at my legs and frowned. Swollen, of course. I pushed myself back until I was lying down with the remote. I didn't have to worry about him coming up here. He'd be terrified I'd touch him or something.

I laid there angry still. I wasn't sure if I should believe myself or not. I didn't think Sam would cheat on me. Then again, we weren't married yet. Plus, for all I knew, he really did have an obligation to have sons or something. I frowned as I lay there. The only light was from the Tv until the door opened up and Sam slipped in. He slid onto the bed beside me, looking at me with his glazed-over love look. It took all I could do to pull my eyes away before I felt the pull to him.

I kept my eyes trained to the Tv, away from his until I felt him wrap his arms on me. I sighed and pushed them off.

"Don't."

Sam started putting them back on me again, anyway. "Why not? I just want to--"

I cut him off. "You don't have to try and sleep me tonight to make me happy. If you want sex, go back over to Leah's."

Sam made a growl in the back of his throat. "Why in the hell would I want to sleep with Leah? I don't want her like that. I love you."

"Then why were you there today? Why won't you even touch me anymore?" I shot at him, waiting to see what type of answer he'd come up with.

Sam looked at me like I was crazy. "I was there today because when I did my patrol I saw how hateful she was to you so I followed her back to her house so that she could put clothes on and talk normally without the pack hearing us. How did you even know that?"

I looked down at the comforter. "I heard someone say something about it is all. You didn't answer my other question," I pointed out.

Sam's hand reached for mine and entwined it with his. "Because I don't want to hurt you or the baby. I know you think I'm being stupid, but I really do think I'll hurt you guys if we do anything. One wrong move on my part, that's all it would take." He squeezed my hand. "Besides, the wait's just going to make our wedding that much better."

I moved to snuggle up beside him and rested my head on his chest. "I didn't really think you would sleep with her. Its just she said all that stuff earlier, about me being pregnant and all." Leah still had a way to dig at me where Sam was concerned. He was mine, he would always be mine, but it wouldn't change what had happened before. I was insecure even after all the love and contentment we had with each other. I trusted Sam, I just didn't trust Leah.

"I wouldn't sleep with her. Don't listen to a word she says. She's just jealous because I love you more than I ever loved her. I love our son as much too." Sam's right hand was resting on my stomach. "I'm sorry if I didn't show it."

I was feeling overheated lying on top of him, one of us needed to get up and turn the air conditioner on. A thought popped into my head suddenly and I lifted my head up.

"Where's my cottage cheese at?"

Sam laughed loudly as he sat up. "I forgot it. I got pissed and didn't remember to stop and buy some."

"I want it," I said giving him a pitiful look.

Sam looked at me. "Are you serious? You want me to go get cottage cheese at midnight?"

I nodded looking back into his eyes, making them glaze again. "Yes, I want it. I want to eat some of it with oranges." I made a point of rubbing his hand across my stomach. "Please." I kissed his jaw, knowing he wouldn't be able to refuse now.

He gave me a nod and hopped out of the bed, grabbing a pair of shorts. "I'll be back then."

I blew him a kiss as he left and settled back in to surf the channels. My hormones had gotten the better of me today, but at least I would have my cottage cheese to comfort me soon.


	45. Chapter 45

**a/n--- Id like to give a huge thanks to mediate for this chapter. She helped a ton with this chapter, plus beta'd it for me. I think this is one you guys have been waiting for, so please leave me a review and tell me what ya thought of it. Thanks goes to everyone who reviewed last chapter. And lastly but not least... shout out to liljenrocks, cuz she does rock. You guys should head over and check out her kick ass story keep your hands to yourself, it features a very very sexy young werewolf named David Uley. ((Team David!!)) And thanks for continuing to read, I know this is a super long fic but I cant help but to keep going with it. **

Chapter 45

I laid on my side of the bed taking a deep breath. My lower back had been cramping up all night long. I didn't dare get up right now, though. Sam was beside me asleep, oblivious to everything that was going on with. I didn't think I was in active labor yet, but I was pretty sure I was getting close. I held my stomach rubbing it softly. I was 9 months pregnant exactly this week, and feeling it.

I could hardly move anymore. I couldn't get up by myself unless I really, really needed something bad enough. I waddled when I did walk, making my swollen feet throb with every step I took. It was miserable. And now I had these stupid contractions that weren't even real ones. My maternity clothes barely fit me now; I didn't put them on unless it was absolutely necessary. I'd taken over Sam's sweats completely which he claimed I was stretching out. I rolled my eyes at the memory of it. I felt the baby kick inside of me, he was getting stronger.

I started to sit up as quietly as I could, trying not to grumble too loudly as I held onto the headboard for support. I threw one leg over the side of the bed and started to stand up when I felt Sam's hand on me, helping me. "Where are you going?" He mumbled sleepily.

I turned and looked down at him. Sam's eyes were closed and his chest was moving up and down slowly as he breathed heavily. "I'm hungry, I'm going to get something to eat," I told him, slipping my feet into a pair of fuzzy slippers. My lower back started cramping again as I walked out and I grumbled silently to myself, trying not to let him know that I didn't feel good.

For the rest of the day I laid down holding my stomach trying not to let to him know anything was wrong. I knew if I did, he'd make a big deal out of it. I just knew instinctively that it wasn't quite time yet but it was close. Sam only left for work and came straight back after, eyeing me as I laid in the bed.

"Did you eat anything today?"

I nodded quickly; I'd gotten up long enough to fix a barbecue chip and ham sandwich and to grab some cookies. I'd brought a gallon of tea up with me, deciding it was easier than walking downstairs every time I got thirsty. I felt a sharp pain shoot my pelvic bone and closed my eyes before I realized what I was doing. Sam was leaning down beside me in a flash.

"Are you okay?" He asked worriedly, taking my hand.

"I'm fine. It's just… early labor pains," I admitted to him. It wouldn't be long before he'd sense it anyways.

Sam eyes widened. "Labor? You're in labor and you didn't tell me?" I grabbed his shirt quickly, knowing he'd start freaking out already.

"No, not like that. I'm not about to have the baby or anything, I'm just… getting ready to. The contractions aren't even bad yet." I looked at the clock, it was only eight now. I knew it would be awhile before I was ready to give birth. "Just... rub my back for a while, please," I asked him with a small smile. I was starting to get nervous. I wouldn't let him know that, though.

I was still planning on having the baby at home. The midwife had already been by, instructing us on what to do to get ready. It was all done and waiting. All I needed now were actual labor pains to call her for. I relaxed as Sam's hands rubbed my cramping back lovingly.

"You want a heating pad or anything?" He asked, pausing from my back to pull my hair up for me. It tickled me as he swept it up in his hands, feeling the black locks of hair.

"No. Just keep rubbing my back. It's helping a lot," I instructed. "And please stay close, okay? I want you here with me." Ever since I had started cramping I wanted Sam near me. I chalked it up to the primal instinct I had learned about that mammals get when they're ready to give birth, when they're at their most vulnerable and want their mate nearby to protect them. I didn't know if being imprinted on by a wolf intensified the feeling or not, but I knew that I didn't want Sam out of my sight for anything.

Sam nodded and kissed my cheek before returning to massage my back. I dozed off as he rubbed, deciding to sleep while I still could. It could be hours before I got to rest again.

I slept until a sharp pain shot through me that woke me up immediately. I grasped at my stomach wincing. That was definitely a labor pain. "Sam?" I said softly, reaching over to shake him. The clock said it was three in the morning. I'd been laying here for a day and a half already in labor. "Baby?" I tried, shaking him again. His eyes opened and sat up quickly.

"What? What's wrong? Are you okay?" He asked, glancing around the bed like he expected me to have already had the baby.

"Call my mom and tell her to start heading this way. And call Mrs. Wahall for me. I think its time," I explained softly, trying not to send him into a frenzy. I felt another contraction in my abdomen, harder than the others but not unbearable. "Don't forget to call your mom, either."

Sam got up quickly, grabbing a pair of shorts as he flurried around the room. "Okay. Okay. I can find the numbers. I put them up so I'd know where they were. Are you sure you're okay? You look pale."

I smiled in spite of the situation. "I'm fine, Sam. I put the numbers by the phone downstairs for you, remember? Now go call."

He leaned down and kissed me gently before jumping away and taking off down the stairs. I could hear him thundering around as he tried to make the calls. I turned onto my side, not incredibly fazed by the new labor pains I was feeling. Sam came back upstairs noisily talking on the phone.

"She wants to know how far apart the contractions are."

"About ten minutes still but they're getting stronger." I started to sit up. I needed to walk. I knew enough about birth to know that things would speed up if I got up and walked around. "Tell her I'm going to start walking."

Sam relayed messages for a few minutes before he hung up and dialed his own mother telling her she still had a couple of hours to get here. I wasn't too keen on calling anyone else. I didn't want a house full of people. Especially at four in the morning. Sam reached down and helped me get up and I could tell he was even more nervous than I was as he helped me walk up and down the hallway. I was debating going downstairs just in case I wouldn't be able to make it back up them so I headed into the nursery, looking around.

We'd painted it light blue, a compromise I had to make for decorating it in Winnie the Pooh. Everything was perfect in there. I'd gotten every detail prepared a week ago after a small baby shower was thrown for me by my Aunt Sue. There was a rocking chair and a foot stool in the corner by the window across from the solid oak wood crib we'd placed in the middle of the room. A little armoire and changing table were up against the longest wall and the closet was already filled with baby clothes of all sizes. We'd put a large blue rug in there as well, so that the baby could crawl around on it instead of on the hard, wooden floor. Sam had that admitted wood flooring might have been a bad idea, but how was he supposed to have known he'd be having a baby a year after he'd bought the house? I was conscious of Sam trailing behind each step I took and looked up to give him a reassuring smile. I was uncomfortable, but not in terrible pain just yet.

"Aren't you supposed to be lying down?" Sam asked me as I finally braved going down the stairs. He could always carry me back up if I wanted back on the bed.

I shrugged; I didn't feel like I should lie down. I felt better standing up moving around. "I think this is helping, actually," I assured him, taking his hand in mine. "Calm down, okay? I'm not in pain and neither is the baby. I'm barely going into labor and you're already freaking out."

Sam gave me a sheepish smile and raised our joined hands to kiss the back of mine. "I just don't want you to be pain if there's something I could be doing to help it."

I couldn't respond before another contraction tightened my abdominal muscles. I squeezed my eyes shut and gripped Sam's hand until it passed. "Did Mrs. Wahall say how long she'd be?"

He shook his head quickly. I could tell from the look on his face that every time I hurt, he was hurting with me. "No, she said she'd be here in time, though. Whatever that means. But my mom said she was on her way, and so did yours. I think your dads coming too."

I leaned against the kitchen counter, placing his hand on the baby. I was starting to realize little by little that this was it. I was going to be a mom in a few hours. Sam would be a dad. I looked up at him as he rubbed the baby spot "Are you ready?" I asked him hoping I wasn't going to panic him further.

"I'm ready. I can't wait to have our son here with us. To be the family I didn't have. I only wish you wouldn't have to go through this." His eyes met mine, giving me a love look that helped distract me from the contraction I felt. It lasted longer than the others and was strong enough that I had to breathe through it. When it was over I glanced out the window. Daylight was starting to shine through the curtains little by little. It was almost seven in the morning now.

"I should walk some more," I said putting on a brave face again. I refused to act childish about this, no matter how hard it got. I was too happy and ready to have the baby to be discouraged by some labor pain.

Sam nodded and held my hand, walking circles around the house with me. I heard a car pull up and looked toward the door anxiously. My mom busted in, not even knocking. She spotted me instantly. "Oh, Emily! I can't believe it. Right on time, too! I'm sorry it took so long to get here. I had to wait on your dad to get up and then I had to grab a few things I got for the baby..." she rambled on, hugging me tightly. I hugged her back, still holding onto Sam. My dad came in the doorway then, carrying a large overnight bag with him. He sat it on the couch giving Sam a small nod.

"And your mother thought we needed to hurry in case you were in pain," he added with a smile at me as he sat down.

"I'm fine, actually. Just anxious," I told them, trying not to let it show again when I got a contraction.

Helen showed up not too long after my parents did. I had both women fussing over me as I insisted on moving around. I convinced them to stay downstairs while Sam took me back up to help me change into one of his over-sized t-shirts. It hung low enough that I could skip the shorts. I wanted to be as comfortable as I could be. When I was dressed, Sam pushed me down onto the bed gently, forcing me to sit down. "I don't think you should be moving that much. What if the baby, like… drops or something?"

I couldn't help but giggle when he said that. Only Sam. "He's not going to just drop out of me, I promise you. I only wish it were that easy."

"Well, what if something's wrong with him and that's why this is taking so long?" Sam was starting to look frantic. I could tell he'd been holding his concerns in for awhile.

I rolled my eyes and held my hands out for him to help me up from the bed. "I'm fine, Sam. I don't even hurt, really. The baby's dropping lower is all. I can feel him moving down." Sam eyed me warily before he took my outstretched hands and pulled me up. I took one step before I felt the gush of warmth. "Oh, no…"

Sam's eyes widened and he stared at me, frozen to the spot. "Are you—are you okay?" He finally sputtered.

I felt the contraction then. It was hard enough to make me cringe. "I don't think I can walk anymore." I lowered myself back onto the bed. "Get our moms and call Mrs. Wahall and tell her that my water broke." I sat on the edge of the bed as Sam stared at me for a while longer before I threw a pillow at him. "Go!" I ordered. I pushed myself back onto the bed, wincing. I was getting closer now. The contractions were stronger than they had been since they'd started.

I laid back into the pillows. I could hear the ruckus as everyone made their way up the stairs. My mom sat down beside me, pushing my hair back from my face. "How far apart are they now?"

I took a deep breath. "Five minutes." I looked behind Helen. "Where's Sam?"

Helen nodded toward the door. "He's helping Mrs. Wahall bring her stuff in. She's here now."

Sam came in carrying a large black bag with Mrs. Wahall following behind him. She had a motherly air about her as she started preparing everything she needed. I curled onto my side, gripping the pillow as the next contraction came.

"Looks like I got here just in time," Mrs. Wahall said with a smile as she dried her hands off on a towel. Everything was ready now- the bed, the things she needed, all except for me. She dismissed everyone but Sam, leaving him standing back with a pale face as she examined me.

"Is she okay?" Sam asked worriedly behind her, peering at me.

Mrs. Wahall gave him a smile as she stood up. "Emily's fine. She just has a bit more to go before she's ready to start pushing. I think by 3 o'clock you'll have a son."

Sam sat down on the edge of the bed beside me, taking my hand in his as another contraction started. I squeezed his hand. I knew he could feel every time I was in pain from the look in his eyes.

"It's not too late to go to the hospital, you know," he murmured into my ear.

I shook my head at him. "I feel more comfortable here. I want the baby born on the reservation. It's not so bad." I knew it was going to get way worse but I wasn't about to let Sam know that. I couldn't risk him phasing if he got too upset over my situation.

Mrs. Wahall came back into the room. "How do you feel? Are you nauseous? Or feeling any pressure at all?" She asked as she slipped another pair of examination gloves.

Sam shook his head quickly. "No, I feel like I might pass out soon, though. I felt pressured at first but I got over it after a few months…." he babbled for a moment before realization dawned on him. "Oh, you mean Emily."

I laughed despite of being in pain. "I'm not nauseous. I'm just ready to start pushing and get this over with so I can hold my baby." I looked back to Sam. I'd never seen a grown man so nervous in my life. His leg was bouncing up and down as he sat on the edge of the bed, holding my hand and wincing when I did.

After another hour of stronger, more intense contractions, Mrs. Wahall announced that it was time to start pushing. My Aunt Sue and Seth had arrived and were downstairs waiting with everyone else. I knew it was killing all three women not to be up here with me but I wanted Sam and Sam only.

I sat up, letting Sam place pillows behind me when Mrs. Wahall directed me to start pushing with each contraction I felt. I couldn't help but cry out during the first push. "It hurts," I moaned.

Mrs. Wahall gave me a sympathetic smile. "I know it does, sweetie but the stronger the pushes are, the less time this will take and the sooner you'll have your baby in your arms."

I knew she was right. I pushed for awhile more, biting my lip each time in an effort to keep quiet before she announced that it was time for me to take a break. Things weren't going as quickly as we had hoped. Every time I let slip a shout or cry of pain, Sam looked more and more distressed. As soon as I laid back into the pillows to try and relax he bolted to the door.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." he apologized shakily before disappearing into the hall.

*****

Sam went into the bathroom and leaned against the counter feeling nauseous. Emily was in pain and it was killing him to no end to have to sit there while she cried. And he'd done this to her. He heard Emily groaning from the room at the end of the hall and knew instantly that she was in there pushing again. He couldn't bring himself to budge, though. He leaned over the sink and put his head in his hands in an attempt to stop the spinning. A bundle of nerves was eating away at him as he stood there. A baby. He was having a baby in just a matter of an hour or so. A real baby.

"What the hell are you doing in here?" Seth demanded, poking his head in. "Emily's crying for you. The moms are getting pissed. They sent me up to find you."

Sam ignored Seth as he spoke. He couldn't watch her have the baby. He couldn't sit there and keep calm while she went through hell. If never having sex again is what it would take to keep Emily out of this kind of situation, then he would abstain for the rest of his life.

Seth sighed. "Sam, snap the fuck out of it! Emily's down the hall having _your_ baby. She needs you to help her through it."

Sam could hear his heartbeat speeding up and he swallowed hard, trying to calm himself. _WHAM!!_ A fist connected with the side of his head, bringing him around and he raised his fists in defense. "Get in the there now and help her!" Seth's voice rang out in his ears.

Sam looked at Seth and nodded once before taking off down the hallway at a run.

*****

I looked up at Sam as he came in. My eyes were blurred with the silent tears that were falling from them. I wanted this all to end. He came to me and got as close as he could, taking my hand again and kissing my forehead. "I'm sorry. I'm here. I'm not leaving you again," he assured me softly. "Just squeeze down on my hand. You won't hurt me."

I nodded as Mrs. Wahall directed me to push again. I was starting to feel shaky and weak. I'd been in labor since yesterday morning and had been pushing for almost an hour. I was tired. I was tired and I wasn't sure if I could do this much longer.

"I c-c-cant p-push," I stuttered as my body shook.

"You have to, Emily. You have to get the baby out. Come on, he's almost here," Mrs. Wahall soothed, rubbing my leg.

I shook my head as more tears fell. I'd been tough for everything but now I was too exhausted to do anything but cry. All my strength was being drained from me.

"I can't."

Sam rubbed the back of my hand. "Yes you can. I know you can. You're strong, Emily, you can handle this. You want your baby don't you?"

I nodded my head and pushed with the next contraction, groaning through clenched teeth. After a few seconds I collapsed back into the pillows, taking deep breaths. "I want him." Sam pulled my hair back into a loose pony tail and kissed the top of my head.

"Then you have to push, sweetheart. We've waited so long to have a baby, now he's almost here."

He was right. I'd wanted a baby for a long time. Long enough that I couldn't refuse to have this one now. I sat back up, feeling more determined now as Mrs. Wahall held my legs, encouraging me to push again. "Just a few more…. Good! I can see his head," she announced excitedly. Sam leaned up to take a look but he turned away just as quickly. He looked like he wanted to pass out or cry.

"Why's there so much blood?" He asked worriedly as he squeezed my hand. "Are they okay?" He was careful not to look at the baby again as I pushed.

"They're fine, Sam. Just hold her hand and encourage her." Mrs. Wahall directed him.

I cried out loudly as I pushed again. "Sam, you're scaring me!" I snapped at him digging my nails into his hand. He was making this worse. Now I was worried that blood loss was the reason I felt so weak.

Sam's hand moved to brush my hair away from my face. "Don't touch me!" I screamed. "Don't make this any worse than it is!" I was at my limit. If the baby wasn't born soon, I didn't know what I was going to do. Sam nodded and let his hand rest beside me on the bed.

I could only push a few seconds at a time. I felt light-headed and could barely make out Mrs. Wahall telling me that after three more big ones I'd be a mom. I was still on the first one when I decided I couldn't take it anymore. I turned and bit down on Sam's forearm as hard as I could, hard enough that I tasted the iron of his blood. A few seconds later I heard the cries of a baby break through my muffled scream.

"Here he is!" I heard Mrs. Wahall call out.

I finally relaxed and let go of my grip on Sam's arm while Mrs. Wahall dried the baby off and wrapped him in a blanket before passing him to me. I held my arms out and eagerly cradled my new baby.

Sam moved closer to me, pressing as close as he could be near the small bundle in my arms. I looked up and saw the mark on his arm, realizing what I'd done. "Oh, god... Sam. I'm sorry I bit you."

Sam didn't answer me as he stared down at the baby, his eyes glazing over as they met mine. "He's perfect," he murmured. I shifted the baby so he could get a better view.

His skin was still slightly pinkish, but it was dark. He had a head full of thick black hair and was as chubby as he could possibly be and still be a newborn. I held onto him tightly as he cried, crying with him for a few minutes as Mrs. Wahall finished with me. Sam reached over and lightly touched the baby with his finger tips.

"He looks so much like you," I whispered as I kissed the baby's tiny forehead. His cries had turned into soft whimpers. After a few minutes of marveling at our new son, Mrs. Wahall came back to the side of the bed and held her hands out, taking him from me.

"I'm just going to clean him up a bit better and I'll bring him right back over to you," she promised. The baby started crying again as she carried him across the room.

Sam turned my face to his and kissed my lips gently. "You did a great job, Emily. I'm so proud of you." He wrapped his arms around me.

"We have a baby. He's so beautiful and tiny and perfect and he's really here." I reached up to wipe the tears away from my eyes. I could feel the exhaustion setting in. My whole body hurt, I was sore and I was honestly so weak I couldn't have stood if I'd wanted to. Sam shifted, giving me view of the healing bite on his arm. He looked down at it.

"It's okay. It didn't hurt that bad," he said quickly as Mrs. Wahall brought the baby back to me.

"Try nursing him, see if he'll take to it," she instructed as she pulled a clean blanket over me. I nodded and smiled through my blurred eyes. "Thank you. Thank you so much," I told her with as much feeling as I could muster. She nodded and smiled. "Do you want me to get everyone?"

I nodded as I leaned against Sam, who was inspecting the baby again as I held him to my chest. He quieted instantly as he latched on and started sucking greedily.

"Thank you." I said to Sam softly, wanting to tell him before everyone came up.

Sam's eyes averted to mine for a moment. "For what?" He reached over to adjust the blanket so that he could get a better look of the baby's face.

"For giving me the most precious gift ever."

Sam smiled back at me. "Well thank you for having my baby." He kissed the scars on the right side of my face lovingly just as our family came in chattering. They all seemed to squeal at once when they saw the baby in my arms. I smiled as my dad and then Seth leaned down and kissed my cheek. The two men didn't quite seem to know how to react this. My mom and Helen both eyed the baby with longing until I reluctantly passed him over to them.

They cooed and gushed over me while Mrs. Wahall announced proudly, "Nine pounds, six ounces and twenty-one inches long. He's a chubby little thing, that's for sure."

I laughed, squeezing Sam's hand who was eyeing his mom warily as she held the baby.

"Any names?" Aunt Sue asked as she took her turn next.

Sam nodded quickly and looked at me with a grin. "Adam Levi Uley," he stated proudly. Everyone _oohed_ and _aahed_ in unison.

"Emily, why don't you rest and let us take care of him for a while?" My mom suggested.

I shook my head. I wanted my baby. I wanted to take care of him. I'd waited so long for a baby and now that I had one I wanted every minute possible with him. "No, I want to. I want to get up with him."

Helen gave me a stern look. "Now Emily, you've been in labor since yesterday. You need to sleep for a while. He'll be right here when you get up. Sam will watch us."

Sam rubbed my back lightly. "I'll be right here. I won't let anything happen to him."

I frowned as I was passed the baby back. My dad and Seth were both too afraid to hold him. "I guess, but only for a couple of hours. Then you have to wake me up. He'll have to nurse." I cradled him against my chest, trying to memorize him before I went to sleep. "Promise me?"

Sam nodded. "Aren't you going to get him?" He asked, looking at his mother expectantly. I realized then that Sam hadn't held the baby yet.

"Here, hold your arms like mine, I'll pass him to you," I told him, starting to shift.

Sam backed away. "No, I- I don't know how to hold a baby. I don't want to hurt him. Just give him to my mom or yours."

I rolled my eyes at Sam. He was determined he was going to crush the baby inside or out of the womb. "You won't hurt him. You have to hold your son, Sam."

He sighed and swallowed nervously as he took the baby from me. I smiled as I took in the sight of Sam holding his son for the first time. Adam looked so vulnerable sleeping in Sam's large, muscled arms but I knew that he was probably safer there than anywhere else.

After awhile of visiting and fussing over the new family member everyone started to head out so that I could get some much needed rest.

"Is it okay if I tell the pack?" Seth asked, pausing at the foot of my bed on his way out.

I nodded quickly. Now that I'd had the baby, they could come for a peek. "Tell them, but tell them not to come too close. Just a peek, no holding just yet."

Seth grinned as he left, happy to be the one to deliver the news. As soon as the door shut Sam turned back to me and smiled brightly. "Get some sleep, Emily. I'll watch our son." I loved the way his eyes lit up every time he said the word "son". He leaned over carefully and kissed me softly on the lips. "I love you."

"I love you, too." The baby squirmed and I leaned down to place a kiss on his tiny cheek. "Love you, Adam." Sam and I both chuckled when the baby's mouth pulled up into a half smile. I sighed and leaned back against the headboard. I was starting to feel groggy now. I shifted around slightly, trying not to move too much. "By the way… the bruise is gone where you got punched." I smirked as I closed my eyes.


	46. Chapter 46

**a/n--- Thanks for all the lovely reviews that I got!! It helped push me into getting this chapter done. Thanks mediate for the betaing on here, and a thanks to liljenrocks for giving me her opinion on a few things and being honest when I ask for them. If you havent read her story yet, go do it as soon as you get done with mine. Also check out shes a boozer's story about Embry. Its pretty bad ass. Also... It might take a bit longer than usual to update this story for the next few chapters, Im having to get it in sync with The Red so that one story doesnt ruin the other for you guys. Remember to leave me some more reviews!!**

Chapter 46- I Can Hear the Bells

I yawned as I started to sit up to get Adam from the bassinet beside the bed. I opened my eyes up tiredly; Sam had beaten me to it. He had the fussing baby in his arms and was shushing him.

"Is he hungry?" I asked, almost hoping that he wasn't. I was flat out tired. I was worn out. I'd only had Adam six weeks ago now, and I still wasn't quite adjusted to the hectic schedule he brought with him. He still woke every two or three hours to nurse and stayed awake for a while before he would fall back asleep.

Sam nodded, kissing the baby's forehead as he settled back down on the bed beside me. "I think so. He's not having the pacifier at all," he said passing Adam over to me as I finally pushed myself up. I cradled him into my arms shutting my eyes for a moment as he nursed. My entire body was sore from being so stressed out. I'd been taking care of Adam along with doing the last few things needed for the wedding. Sam helped as much as he could, but it just wasn't possible for him to take care of Adam like I did. He was still too nervous.

"I'm tired, Sam," I said opening my eyes back up. "I'm really tired. I feel like I can't rest enough. There's always something for me to do." I rubbed Adam's tiny back as he nursed, looking down at him. "I love Adam more than anything but I'm worn out."

Sam wrapped an arm around my shoulders and moved closer to us. "I know you are, honey. I'll take care of him when he's done. You need to sleep, today's the last day you have to get everything ready."

One day. One more day and I'd be Mrs. Joshua Samuel Uley. No more Emily Young. Emily Uley. The wedding plans were going smoothly so far. I only had to find time to get my nails done, find a suit small enough for Adam, or something close to one, and pack a bag for Sam. He'd yet to tell me where he was going tonight for his "bachelor party". Technically it was tonight, it was two o'clock in the morning right now. I had plans on just staying at home, preferably alone. I didn't really expect Leah to want to hang out and do much. I really didn't want to spend it with my mom or Sam's. I knew I would probably end up with Sarah and Cassadee.

They were as close to friends as I had. Cassadee was flighty; I'd seen her a few times while I was pregnant. She'd come to the shower and to see Adam after I'd had him. Sarah was an ally. She knew what it was like to live the pack life as a female. The poor girl had more going on with the pack than either Kim or me, though. Leah had come with Aunt Sue to see the baby the day after he was born. She'd held him for a moment, allowing herself to be happy for me. I knew what she thought when she saw Adam's chubby face. I knew this was killing her and I honestly felt for her.

"I feel like I'm being a bad mom or something. Like it's my fault I can't keep everything going. I can't even wash laundry or do the dishes. I can barely get up to change Adam and feed him and take care of myself," I lamented. I was creating a pity party for myself. My house was a wreck. Sam had to work during the day and still look after his pack at night. My hair was a tangled mess around my shoulders. Sam had been fending for his self, cooking his own meals and things. I was useless. I couldn't even take care of my family the right way. Poor Adam deserved better.

Sam leaned over and kissed my scarred cheek. "You're not a bad mom. You just have to adjust and so do I. I could do more around here too. We're just getting used to this."

I looked down at Adam and shifted him, passing him to Sam to burp. I pulled my tank top back down and got up tiredly from the bed to get a diaper and wipes. I'd learned that running back and forth to the nursery was tiring and kept some handy. Adam was sleeping in a bassinet in our room until he was a bit bigger. Sam was terrified of letting the baby sleep in the crib so far away from us. I laid the things down on the bed and crawled back under the quilt yawning. I had no idea how I'd get married tomorrow. I didn't think I would be able to stand at the altar long enough to say my vows.

"I don't want to leave him, Sam," I said quietly.

The idea of leaving Adam was bugging me too. I didn't want to leave the baby with Helen for four days while we left. I hadn't been apart from my baby since he was born and I didn't want to be. I adored my son, as tired as I was I couldn't imagine not getting up with him every time he woke, or going a day without holding him. Sam patted the baby's back softly.

"I don't want to leave him either, honey… but if we don't go I'm worried you'll end up regretting it later on. I already got Jared to watch over everything, pack-wise."

I nodded. Jared had taken Jacob's spot as beta. It was a miracle that Sam had even managed to get the week off for the wedding. We'd had to tweak the wedding plans along the way to fit the new situation. I didn't fit into the traditional dress I'd made. It was too small in the stomach and chest areas. I'd had to opt for a white dress and a tux for Sam. I didn't have the time or the patience to make another skin one. We were going with church wedding now, the moms had taken care of it for us.

"I don't think I will. I don't know, Sam. I just don't want to be away from him."

He kissed the top of Adam's head softly. "He'll be with my mom, she'll do a great job taking of care of him. I know she will if that's what you're worried about."

"I know she will. I just would rather do it myself. I waited almost a year to have him, now he's here and I want every minute with him I can get." I rolled onto my side, looking at Sam and Adam. Adam had his eyes shut and Sam was laying him down carefully on the foot of the bed to change his diaper. Sam was an amazing father. He didn't mind at all helping with diapers and feeding. He was still kind of funny about the bathing part, though. He got antsy when the pack got close to the baby too. The only pack member besides Leah that had really held him had been Paul. Even then Sam had watched him like a hawk. He'd almost growled when Paul had got up and walked around cradling Adam. I trusted Paul, though. He knew how to handle a newborn probably better than we did.

Sam lifted the sleeping baby back up and got up slowly with him, taking him back to his bassinet. He laid him in carefully, tucking the blanket around his small body. "Get some sleep, honey. I'll hear him if he gets up again. I can go downstairs and get a bottle, no big deal."

I knew it was pointless to argue with him so I reluctantly laid my head down. It hit the pillows like a ton of bricks. I really was exhausted and I still had a wedding and a honeymoon ahead of me.

********************************

It was the night before the wedding and I was honestly ready to take Adam and go back to bed. Everyone else seemed to have different plans for me though. I looked over at Sarah, she was sitting on the floor in front on the couch digging into a bag of chips. Sarah, Cassadee, Leah, and Kim were over. They'd decided I couldn't spend tonight alone. Instead, they were digging through the boxes and bags of embarrassing things I'd got at my shower three months ago.

"Ooo… I like this one," Kim said holding up a scrap of pink lace. She turned it over, looking at it. "I'm sure Sam will too."

I rolled my eyes at her as she stuffed it into an overnight bag they'd brought. The girls were packing things they knew I wouldn't. Honestly, I didn't even feel like having sex with Sam even if it was our honeymoon. I was too tired. I wanted him, but I didn't want the effort either. It was a lose/lose situation.

I watched as Leah got up with Adam and walked off into the kitchen. I knew she didn't want to hear about anything that reminded her I had sex with Sam. She'd claimed the baby as soon as she got here, saying she would watch him while I did the girly stuff. It was a shock. If she phased though, she would be in the pack mind more than likely, and I doubted she wanted to know anything they were up to. I'd only asked one thing of Jared before he dragged Sam out- nothing that would make me regret marrying him. I knew they'd do other things than stay in their wolf forms.

"I don't think Sam's going to care much about those poor excuses for pajamas you guys gave me," I told her shaking my head. Cassadee opened up the next box, producing a black set.

"You should totally wear this under your dress tomorrow. That way when you guys get there, you'll already have something hot on."

I doubted whether that set would help my body look any better. I was fat. My stomach was terrible. I'd gained way too much weight while I was pregnant. Sam had yet to see me completely unclothed in the six weeks that had passed. I avoided dressing and undressing in front of him at all costs.

"I don't think so."

Sarah smirked at me and pushed a different one at me. "This one, then. It won't kill you. No one will see you in it besides Sam. I mean, obviously he's seen you with less than that on before."

"I doubt if it even fits me," I said shaking my head. I'd packed mostly track pants and baggy jeans for the honeymoon trip. And tons of sweat shirts. Most of my day to day clothes were a little bit snug on me. "I'm not that small anymore. I really doubt the top part would fit."

Kim left it out, on top of the coffee table as she picked through the lingerie getting the ones she decided would look great and zipped the bag up.

"Is the baby's stuff packed up already? I could do that"

"It's ready. Helen already came and got some of it," I said sadly. I didn't want to leave him. "I wish I knew what they were up to right now." I was sitting here bored and sleepy. Sam was probably out having the time of his life.

Cassadee shrugged. "Eli said they invited him to meet them at some place in Port Angeles. He had to work, though."

Kim nodded. "Probably out running wild and loose on the reservation," she laughed at the last part. Sarah cracked a smile as she leaned back and yawned. "I guess we could get some sleep."

Leah came back in carrying a sleeping Adam. She sat on the loveseat, cradling him. "I think they're out running around, until a bit later when they decide to take Sam to a few of his old haunts." She'd undoubtedly seen that they'd been planning that. "Aren't you too nervous to sleep, anyway?"

I shrugged. I was nervous. I was nervous that we'd get in front of everyone and I'd realize I'd forgotten something. Or that I'd over sleep. Or that I might forget to pack something for Adam. I was even more nervous and partly excited to finally be married to Sam. "Kind of," I admitted.

"You'll be fine. You guys are already as good as married now," Sarah said reassuringly.

I knew that. I just felt nervous about it being so… official. I stayed up talking and laughing with them for a bit longer before taking Adam and heading upstairs to get as much sleep as I possibly could. Tomorrow was the big day. The day I'd been dreaming of.

*****************************

I was in a flurry of nerves already. It was eleven o'clock in the morning and I was feeling the butterflies in my stomach. I still had hours to go before two o'clock rolled around. I was running around the house, trying to make sure everything was going as planned. So far everything was running smoothly. Except that I was dying to see Sam. I could feel the hollowness starting to set into my heart from being away from him for so long. It'd been three months since we'd spent a night apart from each other. I still had to get my hair and make-up done.

Plus I needed to get Adam dressed and make sure I had everything packed for the honeymoon. I didn't even know where we were going. Adam. I jolted up the stairs hurriedly. I'd almost forgot to nurse him in my frenzy.

"Emily, calm down!" I heard my mom call up after me as I took off. I pushed the door open to the room and let out a breath of relief. He was still asleep. I sank down onto the bed, watching his little chest rise and fall. I had too many thoughts of things to do going through my mind.

"Emily, calm down. Let us worry about Adam for today, sweetie. You have enough to do," I heard my mom say behind me.

I turned and glanced at her. "I want to. I won't see him for a week." I felt tears building up in my eyes. I was starting to get scared. Maybe I shouldn't be getting married today. "What if Sam doesn't show up?"

My mom laughed softly as she sat down beside me. "Sam will show up. Probably an hour early," she said with a smile "He loves you, Emily. Even when I didn't like him, I could tell from the way he looked at you that you belonged with him. It's almost like you complete each other with the way you interact."

I wiped the tears out from under my eyes. "I love him. I'm just… scared, I guess." I got up to get the baby as he started to fuss. I lifted him into my arms and smiled down at him. "I guess we did everything kind of backwards."

My mom reached over and ran her finger across Adam's chubby cheek. "It worked for you two that way, though. I love this little guy more than anything else, and I think Sam will do a good job of taking care of the both of you."

I smiled at her, feeling better already. I'd been stupid to worry about Sam not showing up. "I think so, too."

*********************************

I took a deep breath, willing myself to calm down. I had mere minutes left. Minutes left and I'd be married. I looked at my reflection in the mirror, making sure my make-up hadn't run again. The make- up artist had fixed it three times so far. I kept tearing up when my nerves got to me. I had on a strapless dress, ivory colored, with a long train in the back. It was embroidered on the bust with a delicate design. I had on a pair of heels; I'd need them to keep from looking so comical standing next to Sam. I held out my right arm, turning it over. The make up artist had left all my scars uncovered at my request. They stood out bright red on my face, all the way down my arm to my fingers.

I was so nervous I was shaking. I felt a cool hand on my back and turned. My dad was standing there smiling at me. "You look beautiful, sweetheart," he said quietly. I waved a hand in front of my face trying to keep myself from tearing up as I met his eyes.

"Thank you… and not just for that, but also for accepting Sam," I said softly. I knew Sam wasn't what my dad had wanted for me, but he'd accepted that Sam was what I wanted. My dad waved me away.

"Don't start that now. You'll have me crying with you," he joked. "I think its time we went to the doors and waited our turn, Claire and Benny are already next." I nodded and slid my arm through his, standing in place.

The next few minutes were a blur to me as I started my way down the aisle of chairs in the banquet hall. I kept my eyes down for a few steps, looking at the pink walkway I'd wanted. I felt a tug in my heart and looked up automatically and felt the tears well up again as I met Sam's eyes. He stared back, his eyes full of adoration as I walked, not paying attention to anyone else around us. I could see Sam and Sam only standing there in his black tux. I felt the tug getting stronger as I neared him, only a few footsteps away.

When we reached Sam, my dad paused and gave Sam a small smile and mouthed, "She's yours now, son," before kissing my cheeks and taking his place beside my mom in the first row of chairs.

Sam took my hand in his warm one, still smiling down at me as I stood there, not conscious of anything but Sam. We mouthed 'I love you' at the same moment. I managed to get through the water ceremony without messing up. We were saying our vows when I heard a small whine. I turned my head automatically in the direction Adam was in, sitting in my mom's lap. Sam turned as well and held up his hand to Mr. Weber.

"I'm sorry, but can you wait just one moment?" He let go of my hand and went over to get the fussing baby, bringing him back to the altar with him. I couldn't help but laugh softly along with everyone else as Sam adjusted the baby in his arms, holding my hand in his while we finished.

"You may now kiss your bride," Mr. Weber said with a smile. Sam looked at me for a spilt second before turning around and passing Adam to Leah. Their eyes met for a moment and she gave him a small nod as she took the baby.

Sam wrapped his arms around me, kissing my scars first before he kissed me as gently as he had for the first time so long ago. I let my tears roll my cheeks as I kissed him back, melting onto him, oblivious to anyone else that was near us.

"Uley!! Let go of her already! She's yours!" Jared called out from behind us in his best man spot.

I laughed as Sam finally let go of me and turned to get Adam back from Leah again. We walked back down the aisle together with our son. Jared and Leah followed behind us, then Paul and Kim, followed by Sarah and Embry. We stopped outside the room where I'd gotten dressed in.

"I'll meet you right back here, okay Mrs. Uley?" Sam teased kissing my cheek. "Don't think you can hide from me"

"Here, I'll take him," I said reaching for the baby.

Sam shook his head. "No, just go get changed. I'll keep him." He laid Adam across his shoulder. "Now come on, everyone's waiting to see the happy family at their reception."

I gave him a giddy grin as I turned and went into the dressing room to change into the dress pants and dress shirt I'd brought with me. I shut the door and turned still grinning as Sarah and Kim started helping me out of my dress.

"You didn't wear any of the stuff we got you!" Sarah accused as I slid out of it.

Kim rolled her eyes at me. "Good thing I kept some back," she said slyly, going and grabbing a pink gift bag.

I shook my head at them as I finally gave in, putting on the skimpy set under my clothes. "You two know as well as I do that this will end up in shreds," I warned as I slid my shirt on. "If I don't get a chance to tell you guys later, thank you for helping out so much with everything." They both brushed me aside as we headed back out.

Sam was waiting with Adam, his eyes lighting up at the sight of me. I took Adam from him, kissing his chubby cheeks. Sam slid an arm around my waist as we walked outside where the reception was set up. It was beautiful, roses were everywhere, everything was in synch.

My cheeks hurt as I stood there with Sam, smiling and hugging everyone who stopped to congratulate us. Half of the reservation had shown up, along with my family from Makah. I could see Quil bouncing Claire on his knee laughing. Embry loped toward us, grinning.

"So I think its time everyone gets to kiss the bride," he said loudly. The crowd laughed as the wolf pack along with the rest of the single men lined up for a game that I wished wasn't a tradition. Sam took Adam from me, glaring down each guy as they leaned down and gave me a peck. Embry, Quil, and Jared all opted for my cheek, whereas Collin and Brady turned red as they dared to kiss the Alpha's wife on the lips. Sam only growled once when Paul winked at him before kissing me full on the mouth.

I held onto Sam tightly, shaking my head and laughing as the older women of the tribe stopped to give me advice on marriage. My mom and Helen were still rushing around trying to make sure I didn't have to do anything. Sam's fingers kept tracing the scars on my hand up to my arm as we sat at the head table. Adam had drifted off. Helen had come and whisked him away to his carrier to rest, freeing my arms as we nibbled at the food. I slid my fingers through his and leaned over to give him a quick kiss.

"Mrs. Uley, will you dance with me?" Sam asked with a grin. I felt a burst of happiness every time I heard him call me Mrs. Uley. We were married. We'd actually survived a year and half together despite all of the hardships we'd gone through.

I held my hand out for him and got up, gliding onto the dance floor. I wrapped my arms around him as we danced. Sam was actually a good dancer for his size. "You're beautiful," he said softly into my ear, making me smile.

"You don't look so bad yourself," I said back with a grin. "Collin's dancing with Leah," I pointed out with a laugh. Sam turned his head and grinned at the sight. Leah was still a head taller than the young boy. I saw Helen holding Adam, making his tiny hands wave at me. My mom and dad were twirling around beside us, smiling.

"So, are you almost ready to go?" Sam whispered into my ear.

I nodded, knowing I really wasn't. "Let me get Adam first though, okay?" I said as we headed back off of the dance floor. I was having a great time, but underneath all the laughing and joking we'd done, I was still exhausted.

Sam kept my hand tightly in his as we went to Helen who passed Adam over immediately. "I don't want to leave him," I said sadly as I kissed his tiny nose. Adam was getting heavier and heavier already. I was sure he'd be half grown by the time we got back. He was already a healthy fourteen pounds. A little butterball.

"I'm going to take him inside the dressing room and nurse him before I go," I told Sam. I laid Adam across my shoulder and adjusted his tiny suit. "I'll be right back." I leaned up and kissed Sam's jaw and I hurried off, happy to get a few more minutes with my son.

I held onto Adam tightly as he nursed. I looked down at his face, memorizing him over again. I wasn't sure if I could actually get in the truck and leave him. The door opened and Helen came in smiling at me.

"I'll take care of him, Emily. You don't have to worry," she assured me as she sat down beside me. "I know you hate to leave him, but he's in good hands."

I nodded as I readjusted my shirt and cradled him against me. "I know he is but I still don't want to leave him behind. I haven't ever been away from Adam before," I mumbled. "I don't know if I can be away." I got up and grabbed my small bag that had another change of clothes and a few other things in it. I went back out with Helen. Sam met me halfway and took the bag from and slung it over his shoulder.

"If he cries when we go, just call us. Or if you need something, or if Adam runs out of milk or gets sick," Sam started. Helen held up a hand and waved him off.

"I think I can handle a baby, Sam."

My mom laughed and then my dad hugged me tightly. The pack took their turns hugging me and shaking Sam's hand congratulating us once again. Billy and Old Quil, along with Sue each gave us nods of approval as we said our goodbyes. I held onto Adam up until the last minute. I didn't want to let him go at all. Finally Helen reached over to get him and I felt myself tear up.

"Maybe we shouldn't go anywhere," I said slowly looking at Sam. "Maybe I should stay here with the baby. He needs me."

Sam opened his mouth and was cut off by both of ours mom saying. "No, Emily." I frowned as I clutched my son, honestly hating this. I could tell Sam was feeling my distress from the look on his face.

"Here, let me get him," Helen said lifting the baby from my grip.

Adam let out a whimper as Helen took him and I let the tears fall. "Let's go," I told Sam. "Before I change my mind." He nodded and called out a thank-you to everyone as we walked to his truck. It'd been decorated with the usual shaving cream, condoms, and tin cans. I heard Adam let out a loud cry as I walked further away and choked back a sob. "Sam… I want my baby. Don't make me do this, please," I begged.

Sam let out a deep breath. He stopped and turned around, looking at his mom and the crying baby. "Give him here," he finally said reaching for Adam.

Helen moved back, rubbing the baby's back. "No, you two. Go. He'll be fine, I promise you. It's not going to hurt for you to go and enjoy yourselves and take a break."

I wiped at my cheeks as Adam whined some more. "Come on, Emily," Sam said taking my hand and pulling me to the truck. He opened the door up and helped me in. Pain and worry showed in his eyes as he shut the door. "I don't like this, either," he admitted. It was killing him as much as it was me.

I leaned my head against the door, crying as we drove away. Sam reached over and rubbed my hand lovingly, trying to soothe me. It wasn't helping though.

"So do you want to know where we're going?"

I


	47. Chapter 47

**A/N-- Okay so Im very disapointed with the amount of feedback Ive been getting. I started to not even bother putting this chapter up. Its a major downer to not even break a good 20 reviews per chapter. Very discouraging. With that said, even though I know how this story will end, I might not even post it on here. I have three other stories Im writing and stopping to do Heartbreak takes away from them also. I hate to be a review hound, but come on guys..... **

**Ok now that Im through grumbling... Heres a thanks to Mediate89 for betaing and bugging me to post this chap. Liljenrocks gets thanks for letting me bounce things off of her and for just being awesome. **

"We're going to the Seattle Grand. I got us a nice suite there for the week. Its got a spa inside of it. I thought you could go and take some time for yourself," he said with a smile.

I loved girly stuff like spas. I didn't feel like doing it, though. Or anything else. "Sounds fun," I said looking at the window. It was starting to get colder now. It'd been cool during the reception, but there were so many people we had no choice but to have it outside. I leaned my head down, drifting off as Sam drove. I was feeling sore and achy again. I slept until I felt Sam's arms under me lifting me out of the truck.

"Are we here?" I mumbled.

"We're here. I'm just carrying you in," Sam responded with a smile as he slid the key in the door and carried me into the room. He laid me on the bed. "I've got to get our luggage and I'll be right back," he said kissing my cheek.

I nodded and leaned back to kicked off my shoes. I stood up and kicked off my dress pants and shirt, digging into the bag I'd brought with me. I hurriedly slid on my comfy clothes, not wanting him to see me. I crawled back into the bed and snuggled down into the thick sheets. It was a fancy room. It had a master bathroom, Jacuzzi tub and a personal fireplace. I shut my eyes as he came in. I could hear him moving around for a few minutes before he asked softly, "Do you want anything?"

"No. I'm tired is all," I replied as he lifted me up to press another pillow under me. "I feel like I haven't slept in a week."

Sam nodded as he reached over and turned the lamp off before he laid down beside me, wrapping his arms around me "I called mom on the way, after you fell asleep. Adam's doing fine so far. He's napping right now, he's already eaten three times," he laughed.

I kissed his arm that was stretched around me. "I wish I could have brought him with us, Sam. I miss him."

He rubbed my hand lightly. "I know you do. I miss him too, but how romantic would our honeymoon be with Adam here?"

"I don't care if it's romantic," I said poutily as I shut my eyes. "I'm sorry I'm falling asleep." I knew this wasn't exactly how most married couples spent their first night alone together. I felt bad about it. I was just... exhausted.

Sam kissed the back of my head. "I don't care. If you want to sleep then we'll go to sleep."

I nodded and relaxed against his warm body. "If you wake up, wake me up so I can call your mom and check on the baby," I mumbled. "I love you."

"I love you too, Mrs. Uley."

*****************************

I yawned as I stretched out in the oversized bed, smiling slowly when I saw Sam already sitting up staring at me. "Weirdo," I teased, making him laugh.

"Has Helen called yet?" I sat up running a hand through my hair. It was a mess. I hadn't taken it down before I went to sleep last night and still had had bobby pins and odd and end hair ornaments sticking out. I didn't want to imagine what my face looked like from the make-up.

"Not yet." He smiled as he passed me his phone. I took it eagerly and waited while it rang. Helen answered quickly. I could hear Adam fussing in the background.

"Is he okay?' I asked automatically.

Helen laughed. "The little piggy is okay. He's upset because I had to put the bottle down to get to the phone." I could hear him quieting down now.

I chatted with her for a full fifteen minutes before she had to get off to change Adam's diaper. I hung up sadly, missing him more now. "So what's the agenda for today?" I asked Sam as I got up from the bed. I felt more rested than I had in a while.

Sam shrugged, his dark eyes watching me as I moved around getting clothes so I could take a shower. **"**Shopping? You could go to the spa thing. Alone time," he added slyly.

I rolled my eyes as I headed into the bathroom. "Breakfast sounds good for a start," I said trying to keep the smile from my face when he made a face at me. I pushed the bathroom door shut halfway so I could get undressed, making sure to stay behind it. Any alone time would be killed if he saw me in the light. I started to sink into the hot water in the huge tub when the door pushed open all the way. I wrapped my arms around myself.

"Go away," I ordered him.

Sam laughed as he started taking off his shirt. "Make me." He grinned as he tossed it to the floor.

I gave him a look as he kicked off his sweats next before pouncing into the tub with me, sending water flying everywhere and spilling over onto the floor. I couldn't help but shriek with laughter as he tried to grab me. I pushed him away, thankful for the bubbles.

"Stop! Stop!" I laughed as he finally got his arms around me. "Get out of my bath."

Sam shook his head at me and kissed the side of my face. "I think I'll stay"

"I'll get out then," I threatened, putting a hand on the side of the tub. "Close your eyes first before I do."

Sam gave me a funny look staring point blank now. "Why? And why can't I stay in with you in too?" He asked slowly.

I felt my cheeks burning as I looked away from him. "Because I said so. And because I don't want you to see me."

He rolled his eyes at me. "I think it's a little late for that. You're my wife now, you know."

"Sam... please..." I begged. "Just let me get out and put something on. Then we can do whatever you want to."

Sam narrowed his eyes at me as he grabbed a towel and got out of the tub. "Okay. But I get to pick," he said with a smirk.

I shrugged. It didn't bother me. How bad could putting on mismatched clothes be? "Fine. I have to wash all this mess out of my hair," I told him, watching him glide back out of the bathroom. I hurried through my bath, finally able to get all of the hairspray out. Sam came back in looking smug as he tossed something on the counter.

"There. I found you something," he said with a wink before he ducked back out.

I frowned as I got out and dried off. Oh god... he'd looked in the overnight bag. Two scraps of pink lace lay on the counter before me. I felt my face burning as I put them on. I looked terrible. The bra barely fit me. The other part, well… I shook my head as I looked in the mirror. Even in regular sets of underwear I'd never felt so exposed. I'd only worn that stupid red teddy the one time when I first moved in with Sam. I took a deep breath, knowing he was out there, probably listening to every move I made.

I opened the door up slowly trying not to breakdown as I stepped out. "Sam… I look terrible in this," I started when I saw him staring at me with his eyes burning full of love.

"You look…. Amazing," he said pulling me down on top of him onto the bed. "And beautiful. And sexy. And perfect for me." He kissed every inch of my face before pressing his lips onto mine.

I kissed him back, crawling on top so that I was straddling him. I curled my fingers into his short hair as his tongue explored my mouth hungrily. His kisses were becoming more and more desperate as I slid a hand down onto his thigh, teasing him. I turned my mouth from his slightly, trying to get him to kiss my neck instead.

"Mmmm… I love you," I murmured. He bit down on the nape.

"I love you more," he muttered back as he lifted me off of him and pushed me back into the bed roughly.

I grabbed the edge of the towel he still had on and jerked it off of him earning a shocked looked. I was forgetting all about my insecurities as I lifted up my hips for him to take the skimpy lace panties off. Sam pushed my thighs apart and his tongue found its place inside of me. I rocked my hips forward, moaning and mumbling gratitude as his tongue explored me. I couldn't hold back the gasp that came when he roughly pushed his thumb inside of me, intensifying the already immense pleasure I was feeling. I pulled on his short black locks and arched my back, moaning loudly.

"Ughh…"

Sam kissed my stomach before he slid back up the sheets beside me. My chest was rising and falling heavily as I turned to him, letting my hands drop down to wrap around him. Sam sucked in a deep breath when I started using different pressures, knowing I was driving him crazy. I leaned over and kissed his, soliciting a moan from him.

"I can stop," I said softly, barely moving now.

"No... don't," he said quickly moving his hips around. I licked along his ear lobe for a moment before he suddenly turned and pressed his mouth against mine kissing me roughly. Sam made a thrusting movement and I felt the burst of hot baby batter on my leg.

I shoved him back and wiggled around so that I was on my back. "Get on top of me."

Sam didn't hesitate as he rolled over trying to hold most of his weight off of me. I was dying with anticipation. I didn't realize how much I'd wanted him after four months of not touching each other. I wanted him. Needed him. I widened the space between my legs hurriedly, trying to pull him down on me.

"Sam… please," I whined as he paused at my entrance, I could feel the head of him barely touching me. I wiggled my hips, dying with longing just as the phone rang loudly across the room. Sam groaned as he rolled off of me, I shoved him away and bolted foe the phone. _Helen_. I grabbed it.

"Hello?" I answered breathlessly.

Helen coughed. "I'm sorry. I didn't even think that--" she stopped.

I knew what she was implying. And she was right. "No, its okay. We were about to go shopping, actually," I lied. "Is Adam okay? I should have called again. I don't hear him."

"Adam's okay. I was just calling to ask you if it's okay to take him with me to Hoquiam for a while. I know you don't like him out in crowds," she said slowly.

I frowned. I didn't like Adam around tons of people with germs. "I guess that's okay. Does he have enough milk? I forgot to tell you he likes to sleep with his fuzzy yellow blanket too." I babbled on, thinking of Adam again and feeling a pain in my heart.

Helen laughed. "I know how to handle him, Emily. I was just giving you an update on what we were doing. Adam's in his swing right now, happy as clam. He's already sucked down another nine ounces. His diapers are getting snug, so I thought I'd get a bigger size when we go shopping later."

I was jealous now. Helen was having fun with my little man, not me. "Oh... he's not crying for me?"

"Not constantly. I've just been holding him a lot to distract him," she said, relapsing into the days events. I glanced at Sam as I listened to Helen. He was giving me a look as he leaned back into the pillows, pulling the sheets over himself. I held up one finger to him. "Well, I guess I'll check in a bit later. You two be careful out there in all that snow."

"Give Adam a kiss from us!" I called out before she hung up. I tossed the phone on the sofa and got up to go back to the bed, feeling sad again as I crawled in beside Sam. "I miss him."

Sam wrapped an arm around me. "I miss him, too. I miss pinching his cheeks. I miss his baby smell," he admitted looking thoughtful. "I even miss waking up in the middle of the night with him."

I sighed as I leaned against Sam's chest, "So much for the whole honeymoon experience,"

"We'll be okay for a bit longer Em," Sam said pulling his arm from around me and pushing me down gently. "I think I remember where we left off." He licked my bottom lip with the tip of his tongue. I pushed everything but Sam out of my mind and rested a hand on the back of his neck while he pressed his body against mine. The heat wasn't as bad as it usually was as he ran a hand up and down my side.

"Mmm," I mumbled as his warm lips crashed onto my neck. I squirmed underneath him, the urge coming back as I dusted my hand over his chest. "Please" I finally whispered not being able to stand it anymore.

"Please what?" Sam asked huskily, pressing his hips to mine which added even more tension. I let out a small sigh as he sucked down on the curve of my neck while he played with my hair.

"Please stop teasing me."

Sam pulled his mouth away from my neck and looked down at me as I shifted around, putting a leg on either side of his hips. "I might," he smirked at me, letting his chest press against me again as he pushed into me.

"Ughhh…" I moaned at the feel of him inside of me. I wrapped one leg around his lower back as he started to thrust slowly, a low growl escaping from him. Months and months of wanting and tension were disappearing little by little. I rocked my hips with his, making him moan slightly when I kissed his neck, entwining my fingers back into his hair. "Umphs" and "Ughhs" were escaping my lips as he moved into a fast-paced rhythm. "God, harder Sam..."

He slammed into me, pushing me further into the bed. I dug my nails into his back, gasping as I tightened around him whimpering his name like a mantra. I squeezed my eyes shut as he kept going, not giving in yet to his own climax. "I can't--do this---much—longer," I managed to say as he kissed my hair. The room was swirling around in my vision.

"God… hurry up before I pass out." I didn't mean from the heat, either. Sweat was pouring off of me.

I felt myself starting to tighten and clench around him again. I whined and squeaked and let out a loud yell as I arched my back at the same time I felt Sam explode inside of me. I stayed still while he pushed further inside of me, moaning as he did so. I shut my eyes and took a deep breath, feeling light-headed.

"Get off," I said between breaths. "I'm burning up."

Sam immediately got off of me, looking sweaty himself as he stood back. He glanced over his shoulder.

"We left the fireplace going," he said, hurrying over to it.

I sat up fanning myself. "I didn't mean to be so bitchy. I'm just burning up right now." I wiped at my forehead where beads of sweat had formed.

"I know you didn't mean it like that," he said watching me as I got up from the bed. "I'm starving"

I nodded, feeling cooled down enough to get dressed. "Let's eat. I don't want to go out unless you do," I told him with a small smile. We got dressed little by little, finally going to the small café and bringing the food back with us. I settled down on the sofa, picking up the phone to call Helen. I hadn't forgotten about Adam. Helen picked up after a few rings; I could hear Adam crying in the background.

"Is everything ok?" I asked worriedly.

"He'll be fine, Emily. He's just cranky is all," Helen assured me. I felt my heart wrenching as I heard him squalling.

"No he's not. What's wrong with him?" I asked tearing up. Sam took the phone from me gently and rubbed my back as he talked to his mom while I cried. I was a terrible mother for leaving my newborn son. I was still crying when Sam hung up and turned to me.

"Let's go," he said softly. "Let's go back home."

He didn't have to tell me twice. "Thank you." I started shoving everything back into our bags as fast as I could. "I want him so bad."

Sam nodded and started carrying the stuff back out to the truck. "I know you do. I can tell you're hurting for him."

I was in pain and upset, so Sam was too. I glanced around the room making sure we didn't forget anything before we left. I practically ran to the truck. I quickly got in. We had a two hour drive back to La Push but it was worth it. We'd get there at six if we hurried. Sam squeezed my hand as he looked at me.

"We'll come back another time."

I nodded as we headed down the icy road, it was November and freezing out. "I'm sorry it wasn't that much fun. I should have stayed awake last night. I know it had to be a disappointment for you."

Sam shook his head. "It wasn't, I swear. I mean, I was with you. It's not like we can't have sex at home. I just wish we could have done a few more things that I had planned. But it's more important that you have Adam."

I bounced in the seat the entire way home, antsy to hold Adam again. I'd only managed to spend a day away from him. We cut our trip four days short. I couldn't make it any longer, though. When we finally pulled up to Helen's I jumped out of the truck and took off inside, my scarf flying behind me. We hadn't told anyone we were coming back. I knocked once before I pushed the door open, aware that Sam was close behind me.

Helen was sitting in the recliner holding Adam as he whined and fussed. She looked surprised when she saw us. "Oh, you two…" she sighed shaking her head at us. "You should have stayed."

I took Adam from her, hugging his tiny body against me and breathing in his baby lotion. He stopped fussing as I kissed his cheeks. "I couldn't stay away from him."

Sam rubbed the baby's back just as eager as I was to have him back. "We were miserable," he explained as he took the baby from me.

Adam had quit crying and was relaxing against Sam's chest, his dark eyes finally closing. We stayed at Helen's a bit longer before we took Adam and went back home. The baby had been missing us as much as we missed him. We were a family.


	48. Chapter 48

**a/n---Sorry this chap is kind of short, Its just to show a bit of Breaking Dawn in there, I tend not to include alot from the books in Emily s pov, just cause I dont think shed be that involved with the pack inner workings and such. Anyways.. Thanks Mediate89 for being an awesome beta and sometimes co-writer, and thanks Liljenrocks for badgering me to write lol. Also check out this new sam and emily fic called Breaking Fate by Embryakakryslover Its really really good. Also, I love each and every one of you who reviwed the lasst chapter for me and for hanging in there with me for the end of this fic thats coming closer. **

Chapter 48 -- A not-so-much-like-Christmas story

I smiled down at Adam's chubby face as I balanced him on my hip. I was determined to act like this was a perfectly normal Christmas season, even though we all knew that it was far from it. I'd managed to ignore most of Sam's pack issues while I was pregnant but this wasn't something I could push away. There might not even be a pack left.

I stirred the broth around in the stock pot on top of the stove and moved slowly to the table to sit down and finish feeding the baby. I settled him in my lap and began spoon-feeding baby cereal into his eager mouth. Sam was gone; he'd been gone from us for two days now but promised he would be back tonight. He'd had a werewolf explosion happen as a result of all the vampires coming to the area for the big battle and sometimes stayed out in the woods for days at a time. It was tough, but I knew he didn't have a choice.

Adam touched the scarred side of my face lightly with his tiny fingers and giggled, making me smile. As much as I hated the situation, I knew where Bella was coming from. I would do anything I could to keep Adam safe, just like Bella was doing for Nessie. I'd gone with Sam not too long ago to see the baby. She was adorable; I could see instantly why Jacob loved her so much.

I heard a gurgle and brought my attention back to the baby in my arms. Despite all of the vampire/werewolf problems, it was Adam's first Christmas and I wanted it to be as nice as it could be, unlike Mine and Sam's last birthdays and our first Christmas together which had been thrown to the side. I wanted Adam to have a memorable first Christmas. I had everything planned out perfectly, right down to the Santa suit I was intent on having him wear.

We were going over to Charlie and Sue's tonight for Christmas Eve, but were spending Christmas Day with my family. Sam was leaving me in Makah afterward, deeming it safer for me and Adam in case the wolves didn't win the fight. I didn't even want to think about what would happen if they didn't, if Sam didn't make it back to us alive. I could tell that he was worried about it too, even if he tried not to show it, by the way he was acting. I could see the sadness in his eyes when he looked at Adam, hear the uncertainty in his voice when he held and talked to him. I knew that he was trying to come to terms with idea of his son never knowing who he was.

I moved Adam to lay over my shoulder and stood up again so I could check on the things I had cooking on the stove. The clock above the sink told me that I needed to get dressed and get Adam into his Santa suit so we could head over to Charlie'shouse. I went upstairs, carefully carrying Adam and rummaged through the drawers for the little red ensemble. After I had him looking just like a tinier version of the jolly old elf, I placed him in his bassinet and dressed myself in a pair of jeans and a dark red sweater.

I heard the back door pushed open as I was getting Adam's diaper bag ready to go. I felt the familiar tug and knew that Sam was home. I rushed downstairs, leaving Adam cooing happily in the bassinet and ran to Sam, throwing my arms around him as soon as I reached him. Sam hugged me back and gave me a kiss but pulled away a second later.

"I'm filthy, Emily." He leaned down to kiss me again. "Let me go take a quick shower and then we can cuddle all you want." He kissed me a third time and ran his fingers through my long black hair. I fought back the urge to reach up and do the same to him.

We made our way back upstairs and I followed Sam into our room. He immediately made his way over to the bassinet and looked down at Adam who was sleeping peacefully. "Emily," he groaned. "What did you put him in?"

I crossed my arms over my chest. I knew where this was going. "It's a Santa suit. It's adorable."

Sam turned to look at me with a pained expression. "It's got fur on it."

"So?"

"So boys don't wear fur. Can't you put him in something else? At least while we're out?"

I rolled my eyes and Sam made his way over to me in one long stride, stopping to give me a quick peck on the nose. "I love you, Em, but could you save it for when we have a girl?" He flashed me a quick smile and then left to head to the bathroom.

He was out a few minutes later with a towel wrapped around his waist. He grabbed a t-shit and a pair of jeans – a step-up from his usual cut-offs – out of the laundry basket and started to put them on. After he dressed and ran a hand through his hair he pulled me into a warm embrace. I breathed in his scent now mingled with soap and sighed contentedly. "I missed you," I admitted. Sam leaned down to kiss the top of my head.

"I missed you too. I'll try not to stay gone so long next time."

Adam whined suddenly from the bassinet and I started to pull away so I could tend to him but Sam bet me to it. He hurriedly made his way over to the fussing baby and lifted him into his arms. "Hey, man. I've missed you," he whispered to the baby, who was calming now. "Sorry I haven't been around much. I promise I'll make it up to you" He kissed the top of Adam's head and moved slowly around the room. "And don't worry, daddy's gonna get you out of these girl clothes too."

I made a face and finished brushing my hair. "It's his first Christmas, Sam. He should look festive."

Sam went into the nursery and flipped on the lights, still holding the baby in arm one. He dug through the dresser until he produced what he'd been looking for: a pair of little red sweatpants and a red long sleeved t-shirt. No fur trim like the Santa suit had. Sam carefully laid Adam on the changing table and all I could do was sit back and I sigh as he changed Adam's clothes. He removed the little black booties and replaced them with a pair of white socks and a pair of baby sneakers.

"There," Sam said proudly, lifting the baby up, "that's Christmas-like too."

"Fine. He can wear it but he's taking pictures in the suit later. It's too cute." I compromised, handing him Adam's heavy jacket. Come on, we needed to get going.

We drove to Forks, talking softly to each other the entire way about Adam, life… and the impending vampire battle. Sam had everything planned out for the worst-case scenario, or the best. By the time we made it to Charlie's house, the rest of the pack was already there along with Bella, Edward, and Nessie. I got Adam out of the truck, letting Sam carry the rest of the stuff and followed him into the house where we were greeted warmly by everyone. I passed Adam back to Sam and went to help Aunt Sue with getting everything ready. I couldn't help but laugh when I heard the pack singing carols. They were terrible.

We hung around until late that night, laughing and sharing stories about our past Christmases. No one really said anything about this possibly being the last one where we were all here together. I knew Bella wanted this to be exactly what I did-- Christmas for Renesmee, even if it was a bad timing for it, just like I wanted it for Adam.

I yawned sleepily as we pulled into our driveway. I was tired, but there was no way I was going to bed yet. "Are you… staying home tonight?" I asked Sam. Sam smiled and nodded.

"Yep, I'm all yours. We only have a few out running patrols since everyone wanted to be home for Christmas, but that's about all we need right now. The Cullens' friends are staying off the land well enough. They'll howl if they need anything."

Sam carried the carseat inside for me and sat it on the coffee table. Little Adam had fallen asleep hours ago. "I'm leaving his presents in the truck for tonight," I said as I kicked off my shoes. I didn't feel like lugging them inside. Even though presents were decided against for us, the pack and everyone else it seemed thought Adam just had to have something. Needless to say, the back seat was filled with noise-making objects.

Sam carried Adam into our room instead of the nursery and laid him in the bassinet beside our bed. He must have wanted him near tonight. I watched as he took off the baby's Santa hat and little shoes and covered him with a blanket. "I miss him," Sam murmured. "I hate being away from him."

I walked up behind Sam and wrapped my arms around him. "He misses you too. He fusses and cries every time you leave for longer than a couple of hours." Even in the dim lighting I could see the pain in Sam's eyes when I said that.

"I can't help it," he said more to himself than to me. "I've got to be out there when there's this big of a threat. I can't let the pack fight blindly without a leader."

"I know, Sam. And even if you weren't Alpha I know you'd be out there anyway trying to protect us, and that's what I love about you." I rested my head against his arm and we stared down at our sleeping son. He was looking more and more like Sam every day.

Sam sat on the edge of the bed and pulled me down beside him. "You tired?" He asked quietly. I shook my head and despite running around outside for two days, Sam didn't seem to want to waste the night sleeping either. We settled back against the pillows and I snuggled against Sam's warm chest. "I love you," he whispered into my ear.

"I love you too," I mumbled. The heat radiating off of Sam's body, his comforting scent and his deep, even breathing had me feeling sleepy fast and my attempt at staying awake failed before the hour was up.

Sam shook me awake the next morning and I reluctantly packed my things to go to Makah. Sam held onto Adam all morning until he was forced to put him in his carseat so we could get on the road. The two-hour drive wasn't bad, and Adam seemed to be enjoying it by the way he was giggling and cooing in the backseat. It was arriving at our destination that was the hard part.

We went inside and were greeted warmly by my parents and grandparents. No sooner had I unwrapped Adam from his bundle of blankets the ladies were trying to pry him out of my arms. Adam started fussing from all of the attention and didn't start to relax until Sam insisted on taking him. He didn't let him go while we ate dinner or even when we opened the presents from my family and I tried not to remind myself that it was because he was trying to get every moment in with his son in case he never saw him again.

It was starting to get dark out and I knew that Sam had to leave soon. I tried to keep my composure as he led me into the bedroom to say goodbye. He handed me a sleeping Adam and pulled me into a kiss, soft and sweet. The perfect goodbye kiss. I tried to keep my tears at bay but there was no stopping them as he pulled away.

"I love you, Emily." He kept his voice low. "I don't want to scare you but I honestly don't know how this is going to turn out, and if something happens to me I want you to take care of Adam. Let him know that I love him and that I never would have left him if I'd had a choice." He reached out to run his hand through Adam's soft black hair.

I nodded silently and laid Adam down on the bed so he could rest comfortably.

When I turned to face Sam again, he lifted my chin so I was looking into his eyes. "You'll be fine Emily, and try not to worry too much. I won't be able to concentrate if I know you're upset."

I nodded again, not trusting my voice. Sam sighed and wrapped his arms around me. "I love you, Emily. If everything goes well, we'll all be back before you know it. You should be preparing yourself to start looking after six new wolves." He smiled at me and ran his thumb across my scarred cheek.

"I love you, Sam."

Sam took hold of my hand and gently tugged me toward the bedroom door. "Come on, walk me out."


	49. Moving Forward

**I would first like to say that this chapter was written by Mediate89, she took the iniative and finished this story. And I have to say she did a better job at ending it than what I would have. I started to write the ending several times and couldnt get it out. I hated to see this story end, but it has. So, please leave Mediate feedback for this chapter, it would mean alot to her. **

Chapter 49 -- Moving Forward

I carried a large platter of ham sandwiches to the picnic table in the backyard. We had several of them set up out back for the pack and their families to gather around for the special occasion. Sarah and Paul's daughter, Bridget was turning ten years old today and we had a big party planned. The weather was beautiful for September, warm and sunny so everyone was in a buzz. The kids were running in and out of the trees surrounding our house and the guys were already on the edge of the yard, half-naked and playing a rowdy game of football.

I set the plate of food among the pitchers filled with lemonade and iced tea. Sam had a grill going already sizzling with burgers and hot dogs and the aroma reminded me that I needed to bring out the buns and condiments next. I turned to go back into the kitchen and was met halfway by Lily, her beautiful black hair shining in the sun. Her little arms were filled with plastic bread bags and she ran to me with a big smile on her face.

"Here you go, mommy!"

"Thank you, Lily." I quickly closed the distance between us and lightened her load before she could fall over herself. She was only five but she loved to help and would oftentimes go to any lengths to lend a hand.

"Hope's bringing some too," she announced, grinning in the direction of the house. I followed her gaze and saw Embry striding across the lawn laughing and bouncing his little girl in his arms. Hope had her arms wrapped around his neck and was giggling into his bare shoulder.

Lily and Hope were best friends, more like sisters than cousins, which is what they called themselves when they weren't trying to fool unsuspecting strangers into thinking that they were twins. Sometimes it seemed like I had three or four children living at home instead of two, but I didn't mind—the more the merrier, and Lily needed a girl her age to interact with.

When Embry got close enough he turned so I could pull the bags from Hope's grasp and then lowered her down on the ground next to Lily. The two girls immediately took off and started chasing each other around the yard, screaming with delight.

"Kids." Embry chuckled and ran a hand through his short black hair before stalking off to join the rest of the pack in their brawl.

Kids. I wanted more kids. My little Adam was already nine years old and Lily was hardly a baby anymore. I knew Sam wanted to add to our family too but conceiving was getting more difficult as time wore on. It took us a year of trying until Adam was four to finally get pregnant with Lily and even though we started trying for another baby when she was two, she was still our youngest child. Ironically, my situation was the exact opposites of Sarah's, who never wanted more than Bridget but was currently pregnant with her third, a little boy due in January. I tried not to be envious of that fact. Sarah was still my closest friend and I wasn't going to let my pettiness get in the way of that.

"I got the cake," a familiar voice issued from behind me, breaking me out of my reverie. Sarah sat the cake down on the already crowded picnic table and opened the top of the box. It was a beautiful princess cake, pink and white and covered in sparkles. Bridget was going to love it. "I even found some pink candles to go with it," she added with a grin. She sat a shopping bag down and started rifling through her spoils.

"Where is the birthday girl?" I wondered. We'd been setting up for nearly two hours and she had yet to make an appearance.

"Ah, she and Adam are still out with Rachel. I actually called on the way over here and Rachel said they should be here within the next ten minutes or so. The wanted to stop for some soda or something."

"Is she excited?"

"Bridget? Oh yea. This is all she's been talking about for a week. The big one-oh."

I chuckled. "Of course."

Sarah and I finished setting up the tables and hanging decorations while we waited for our kids to arrive. We were setting out the presents when Rachel pulled into the driveway. Adam and Bridget crawled out of the back seat, each clutching a drink and ran over to us, leaving Rachel to carry several grocery bags over all by herself. Adam and Bridget looked about as much alike as Lily and Hope did. They both had identical black hair, Bridget's being quite a bit longer of course, and the same bright brown eyes.

"Princess?" Bridget hardly had time to hug her mother before Paul's deep voice sounded from behind us.

"Daddy!" She squealed. She quickly sat her Root Beer on the table and leapt into her father's arms. They shared a tight embrace before Bridget pulled away to nuzzle Paul's face with her nose. Paul laughed and planted a messy kiss on her cheek, making her giggle and rub furiously at the affected area with her free hand.

The pack had halted their game and was gathering around the scene. "Someone's happy to see you," I heard Sam mutter to Paul as he wrapped his arms around me.

"Or happy to see your presents." Quil nudged Paul playfully on the arm and Paul rolled his eyes and turned back to the child in his arms.

"You don't just love me for my presents, right Princess?"

Bridget smiled sweetly and shook her head. Obviously pleased with her response, Paul kissed her again, this time with a little more grace and sat her down so he could help Rachel with her bags.

*****

"What do you want, honey?" Sam was standing at the grill holding a paper plate for Lily in his hands. "A hotdog or a hamburger?"

"I want both."

Sam sighed; she was holding up the line. "Lily, I don't think you can eat both. Do you just want a hotdog?"

"No," Lily whined, "I want both of them but in half."

Sam raised a skeptical brow. "You want half of both?" Lily nodded. "What am I going to do with the other halves? No one's going to want half a hotdog."

"Hope's going to eat them!" She glanced over at Hope who was swinging her legs back and forth from her seat at the picnic table and they both giggled.

Sam rolled his eyes affectionately and added two pieces of meat to Lily's plate. "Alright, now get outta here. Ask uncle Embry to cut them for you."

"Okay." Lily grinned and walked quickly over to where Hope was sitting by her father.

I was next in line. Sam met my gaze with a sparkle in his eye and leaned in for a kiss.

"Mmm," I moaned softly, "I think I'll just have a hotdog."

"Hotdog it is," Sam murmured against my lips.

No one complained about our public displays of affection anymore. They were such a common occurrence by now that we rarely got a reaction, especially since most everyone else seemed to be about as lovesick as we were what with a good portion of the pack having imprinted and all. They understood what it was like having a center of the Universe.

"You kids like your burgers?" I ended up sitting across from Adam and Bridget when everyone was seated and they were both eating quietly so I decided to see how they were enjoying the day. Adam was fairly soft-spoken so it was hard to get a conversation out of him unless you started one first.

Bridget smiled her adorable little smile. "Yep. Uncle Sam always makes the best hamburgers."

Adam snickered. "Yea, but that's about all he can make."

Bridget laughed and nudged him playfully with her arm.

"Hey, that's not true," I chided him, and then after a moment's thought realized that my jump to Sam's defense had been entirely instinctual because Adam was right, Sam could barely make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

"Hey mom, can Bridget stay the night tonight?" Adam asked suddenly in-between bites. I shrugged and swallowed a mouthful of potato salad.

"As long as it's alright with Paul or Sarah, you know I don't mind having Bridget over."

"Awesome." Both kids grinned at each other and started talking animatedly about what they were going to do when the party was over-- exploring the woods, among other things.

*****

Soon we were all singing Happy Birthday to a beaming ten-year-old. Paul was standing behind her looking incredibly proud and Sarah was sitting to the side, holding her belly and smiling tearfully at her daughter. When the song was over Paul urged Bridget to make a wish and blow out the candles and when she got all ten of them out in one blow everyone cheered.

Thankfully the cake was larger than normal because even with small pieces we had just enough for everybody. Embry didn't seem to mind giving up most of his piece, though when Hope crawled up on his lap and asked for more. The ever-observant Lily tried pulling the same stunt on Sam but his piece was already eaten so she settled for the rest of his vanilla ice cream instead.

I laughed to myself at the hold these pretty little preschoolers had over their big daddies. But I knew that Sam didn't mind being wrapped around Lily's finger. Adam was a _man _now, too big to be coddled even by me and by the way things were looking in the fertility department it seemed like Lily was going to be our last little baby. Sam was savoring her childhood, just as I was.

Sam didn't dote on Lily as much as Embry did on Hope, though. Embry had helped out with Bridget a lot when she was a baby and told everyone that he didn't want or need kids of his own but when Hope came along it was obvious that he was totally smitten. He got his own little girl, one that would call _him_ daddy and the way he always looked at his daughter with so much reverence in his eyes made me wonder who had been suckered more by their little darlings, Embry or Paul. It was a close call.

Bridget was nearly bouncing with anticipation when it came time to open her gifts. She had an entire table filled with shiny packages and colored bags. Everyone had got her something which amounted to a lot of lotions, perfumes, earrings, socks and gift cards. When she was finished unwrapping most of it, Paul wheeled a brand new pink bicycle into the yard and everyone gasped. Bridget could hardly contain her excitement and hopped on immediately after giving her father a huge hug. Score one for Paul.

**********

It was decided that Bridget was going to stay the night with us after the party so she could spend more time with Adam. Paul and Sarah each took a share of the things she'd gotten from other people and after giving Bridget a quick hug and kiss goodbye, left with everyone else. Sam was going to drive by Paul's house when he was out later and pick Bridget up a bag of clothes so she would have something to change into.

There wasn't much mess left in the yard after everyone had cleaned up their fair share of paper plates, cups and wrapping paper so it didn't take me long to get everything looking just right again, especially since Sam sent the kids out to help. Bridget and Adam washed off the tables, Lily followed me around the yard holding a garbage bag open while I picked up the leftover streamers, and Sam cleaned the grill.

It was dark by the time Sam and I got everyone bathed and fed and settled in for the evening. The sky was starting to cloud over so I opened the little window to let in some of the cool night air. I hadn't had time to do any laundry earlier with all of the party excitement, so I busied myself at the laundry closet on the edge of the living room.

"Dad?" Adam looked up from the magazine he and Bridget were reading at the coffee table.

"Hmm?" Sam turned the page of his newspaper, trying to ignore Lily who was using him as a mountain for her Barbie dolls.

"Can me and Bridget have some of those chocolate chip cookies mom bought?"

"Cookies!!" Lily yelled and hopped off of the couch. "Daddy, I want some cookies!" She was jumping up and down in front of Sam with her hands on his knees. After a moment Sam sighed and put the paper down. He gave Lily a long, meaningful stare until she stopped using the floorboards as a trampoline.

"I suppose." He stretched his arms out as far as he could behind the back of the couch and grunted. "For being such a big help in cleaning up the yard. You can each have two," he paused and examined his hyperactive daughter, "one for Lily."

"Yay!" Lily cheered and took off running in the direction of the kitchen. Lily was normally a very well-behaved child but she always got overexcited when someone came to stay at our house and I had to supply her with a cookie, a glass of milk and the promise of a movie to get her to settle down.

I turned out the lights and sat next to Sam as the previews to _Aladdin_ started playing. Adam and Bridget had moved to the loveseat and had covered themselves with the throw that was hanging over the back of the couch. It was so cute seeing the little buddies together. They were huddled up sharing a bowl of popcorn and occasionally one would lean over and whisper to the other, and we'd hear a snicker. I was glad they'd turned out to be such good friends.

I settled my head against Sam's warm, bare chest and he wrapped an arm around me and started playing with my hair. Lily was lying quietly on his other side with her head resting in his lap. She was clutching her favorite blanket and I couldn't help but smile at how angelic she looked when her dark curls framed the smooth copper skin of her face. She was like a more beautiful version of a younger me, before my face was marred by these hideous scars.

"Mama, is the lion gonna eat him?" Lily asked loudly, even though she must have seen the movie half a dozen times in the past week.

"Shh, you'll have to wait and see." I humored her.

"Look! He's going in his mouth!"

"Shhh." Sam hushed her again and rubbed her back in an effort to quiet her down, more for Adam and Bridget's sakes than our own.

"He's gonna eat him." Lily whispered dramatically, her eyes wide and glued to the screen. And she was right. The little thief only made it down one tiny step before the lion swallowed him whole.

In the hour and a half it took for the movie to be over all of the kids had fallen asleep. Adam's head was resting on the arm of the loveseat and Bridget was collapsed against him, with her arm around his waist. I resisted the urge to snap a picture. It would be a sweet little memo to have in case their comradery broke apart when they got older. I hoped such a thing would never happen, and it didn't seem likely, but then again… neither did my situation with Leah.

"Well, that was an exciting movie," I joked and Sam chuckled. He groaned and stretched carefully, trying not to disturb the sleeping Lily, who was now snoring lightly against his abdomen. I reached over to turn on the couch-side lamp and made to get up but Sam caught my arm. I was about to protest when his lips came down on mine, soft and sweet. It only took a few seconds to heat up. Sam was moving his fevered kisses to my neck when I stopped him.

"Sam," I whispered. "Maybe we should put Lily to bed first." He looked down at the sleeping child and even in the scant lighting I could see a blush rising to his cheeks. I but my lip and tried to hold back a laugh at his embarrassment.

"Right," he mumbled, pulling away from me and carefully scooping Lily up against his chest. He carried her like a baby to her bedroom. I followed shortly behind him.

From the doorway I watched Sam gently rock our little girl, her head resting in the crook of his neck. He rubbed her back rhythmically while humming some unknown song softly into her ear. She let out a little puff of a sigh as he laid her down in her bed. He tucked the pink blankets tightly around her. "Snug as a bug," I heard him whisper. Sam stood back up, but before he could turn and walk out the door, Lily whimpered. A little mewl that sounded like a kitten. He was knelt beside her bed in a flash, returning to the song he was humming moments before. Sam rubbed the pad of his thumb across her cheek before leaning down to kiss it. He rose from the floor with a grace and speed that could only come from his wolf form, watching Lily to make sure she didn't wake up.

When he was sure she was alright he made his way back out to me and closed the door behind him so that it was open just a crack. He never latched our babies' doors when we put them to bed because he didn't like the feeling of being cut off from them when they were in such a vulnerable state. Watching Sam being gentle and protective over our children was, for some reason, a huge turn-on for me. He was kind and loving and every pore in my body was proud to be his wife.

I reached over and dimmed the hallway light, smirking as soon as Sam caught my eye.

"I think she's good for the night," Sam said quietly, taking the final stride to meet me. He reached out and pulled me into a warm embrace. I rubbed my face against his chest and breathed in his familiar scent of cinnamon and cedar, effectively fanning the spark of desire into a raging flame. I looked up at him from under my lashes and ran my hands up his smooth, warm back.

"I'm not so sure I'm set for the night, Papa Wolf," I whispered as close to his ear as I could get without having to stand on my tiptoes.

Sam's rumbling laughter caught deep within his chest and he reached up to tuck a few strands of my hair behind my ear before murmuring, "We wouldn't want to disturb the cubs."

It was my turn to giggle and I slowly lowered my hands until they were resting on his backside and gave his firm bottom a tight squeeze. "Well, I guess you'll just have to keep my mouth busy then, won't you?"

I could feel Sam's mouth curl into a smile against the rough skin of my cheek. "I'll see what I can do," he muttered huskily. My heart sped up at the sensation of his hot breath against my neck and before I knew it he was pulling back and crashing his lips against mine. The action left me gasping for air and eager for everything else I knew he could give.

I hooked my hand under his bicep and led him down the hall to our bedroom, nudging the door open wider with my shoulder when we got there and shutting it quietly behind me. I pulled Sam across the room until we reached the bed and pushed him down onto the mattress. Even using all of my strength it wasn't easy to shove the big man but he went down willingly enough which led me to believe that Sam wanted this about as much as I did.

I met his gaze and was lost in the passion dancing in his eyes. There was also something else, amusement perhaps, likely as a result of my sudden advancement and enthusiastic determination.

Sam positioned himself at the top of the bed and held his arms out so I could crawl into them. I settled myself between his legs and kissed his lips, his jaw, his neck.

"Whatcha gonna do now?" he asked in a velvety baritone voice.

I made my way down his body, leaving a trail of kisses down his pecs and across the solid ridges of his stomach. He ran his hands up the back of my shirt and started to lift it off but by then I was already past the waistband of his shorts and had my eyes on the prize. And what a prize it was. I didn't even bother sliding his shorts down before I nipped at the sensitive organ. Sam jerked back and placed his hands on either side of himself.

"Jesus," he breathed, looking entirely too surprised. I flashed him a devilish smile and he growled, grabbing my hips and switching positions. He pushed his large, heated hands under my t-shirt, grabbing my right breast, and kneading it slightly before yanking the shirt off of me and throwing it to the ground. He moved his hands down my ribs to my waistline and slowly slid my shorts past me knees, freeing me from the rest of my garments.

He wasted no time in removing his own scant clothing and devouring what was laid out before him. He licked his way down my neck to my breasts, circling each nipple with his hot tongue. The sensation made me gasp and I arched my back against his body. He moved his fevered kisses down my chest to my stomach and I spread my legs farther, waiting for the moment of my satisfaction.

But he stopped.

"That's just mean," I whimpered, and he chuckled.

He held my thighs apart with his wide hands and lowered his head, stopping only for a moment to shoot me a sly glance before administering one long, hard suck to the most intimate part of my body that sent waves of electricity all throughout my entire being. He came up with a small gasp for air, giving me his own cheeky grin. Revenge.

I whined when he moved over me and started kissing back up to my neck. His action had left me with an ache that wasn't being satisfied with his mouth on every other part of my body. I reached down to grab his swollen erection and lightly ran my thumb across its already sleek tip. Sam moaned quietly and I widened my legs, urging him to ease my torture.

I felt him move to my entrance but he made no move to bring us together.

I groaned. "Sam, please."

"Hmm?" He responded innocently, leaning down to suckle my bottom lip.

"Just do it, please," I whimpered.

He needed no further motivation. He slid into me and pulled my legs around his waist to increase the depth and angle of our position. I almost cried out in pleasure but Sam hurriedly covered my mouth with his in an effort to keep the noises of our lovemaking confined to the bedroom.

"Cubs," he uttered breathlessly and I nodded in understanding, thankful he was upholding his end of the bargain.

Sam started out slowly, and then picked up the pace when I began meeting his thrusts with my own. The heat and friction quickly began to intensify the experience and all too soon I could feel myself about to succumb to a powerful climax. I could tell that Sam was getting close as well from the way he was gripping the sheets with his fists and trying to control his erratic breathing.

I knew we had only moments before we both let go. I reached up with one hand and brushed my fingers across Sam's flushed cheek. Concentration was etched all over his face. His eyes were tightly closed and his lips were pressed together into a straight line.

"Look at me," I whispered, afraid that I might lose control if I spoke any louder than that. His eyes fluttered open immediately and looked right into mine. "I love you, Sam," I moaned out as my walls clenched down. Sam's response was cut off by a powerful grunt and he buried his head in my neck just as I felt the hot, sporadic spurts of his release.

After a few deep breaths against the pillows he lifted his head and gave me one of his sweetest smiles. "I love you, too, Em."

**Authors note: I know its sad to see this gigantic story finally end. But, Now I have a spot open my slate for a new fic to start. I was thinking of writing about Adam and Bridget when theyre a bit older. I dont know if you guys would be interested in that, but if you are then please let me with either a review or a PM. Thanks for continuing to read over these few months. **


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